My boyfriend makes me feel bad about myself

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is 19 and I'm 22. He has everything about him together except that he can be immature at times and say stupid things. He will make comments about other girls' boobs and when we first met he made comments about my boob size. I am quite small and he used to make little digs at me like when we were out shopping, holding up large bras on me and saying "one day". I finally said I will not get a boob job ever, and he said, "you look great how you are I don't want you to change I'm sorry I never meant to hurt you by saying that." But how can he not know that these comments make me feel ugly? I never make comments about his outer appearance. He says I look pretty all the time and when I'm naked he said one time "how did I get so lucky?", but then he goes and makes these comments about his older brother's girlfriend and how she has bigger boobs than the girlfriend before her (which tells me that he was checking her out.) It's just all chest size to him and it's hurting me. It is clear that he is very self conscious but how do I feel better about myself? Does he really mean what he says or is this some kind of mind game he's playing to feel better about himself?

[talloak]

He probably does have an obsession with breasts. And his comments about you and his brother's girlfriends are immature and completely inappropriate. But from what you say, it's not clear that he has any idea how bad this makes you feel. Have you explicitly told him that these comments make you bad about yourself? If you have and it continues, this does not speak well of him. If you haven't, don't assume that he will connect the dots on his own. He probably doesn't know that it really hurts you. At least, it's worth giving him the benefit of the doubt.

[jamesma87]

It sounds like he does like bigger breasts in women, but he also appreciates the way you look as well. I wouldn't take it personally, I don't think he's playing mind games I think that is how he feels but that doesn't mean that he isn't into you or your relationship just because you're a bit smaller up top. If he always jokes about that stuff, you should tell him that you're insecure about your boob size and he should stop if he cares about you.

[lauramor]

I think that you really need to tell him that if you respect him and don't compare him then he needs to give you the same kind of treatment. He might be insecure because of your age difference or have low self steem.

[Anonymous]

I think he just feels comfortable opening up to you. He is so comfortable that he lets his guard down completely and tells you what ever is on his mind. I am in a steady relationship and I am always doing this with my girlfriend. Jst the other way round. How she will never look good in some clothes because of her larger boobs. And she also joins in sometimes. It's kind of fun discussing boobs with your gf.

[Anonymous]

It seems that he's quite a jerk now.