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The Type of Guys Girls are Really Into (Page 2)
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Eh, It doesn't matter how much of a gentleman he is. Women often don't care how they're treated as long as they aren't abused. It matters whether she's attracted to you physically and whether she views you as a person who other people would respect.
Women care about status and looks. Notice how "gentleman" is mistaken for "powerful attractive men in suits". being a gentleman has nothing to do with the way you dress or look, but the common theme behind what women on the internet view as a gentleman is a man in a suit with a 5 o clock shadow, a nice watch, car, and shoes. A gentleman is supposed to be literally a gentle man. Someone who is polite and well mannered, not a man who looks good in a suit.
If I made a post saying "What men really want" and mentioned we want a ladylike woman with pictures like this manamovie.com/.../...t-dcm-movie-pressmeet-008.jpg everyone would just say "well ya she's hot and skinny, of course you'd want her". Same goes for your post.
I agree with looks... and where's personality? Lol, but I dont want a guy for his status. Also, you're right about the gentleman part. I even mentioned how these country boys can look hot and still be a gentleman
To add on to her response, I think it is a little bold that you said that women don't care how they are treated. Don't get me wrong, there are some who don't. However, being treated right is very important to any confident woman with a sense of self-respect. Not everyone has that though. On top of that, sometimes the way a guy treats me puts him in the category of sort of cute to sexy, so don't underestimate it. I don't normally go for hot guys so much as about average guys (that I still find attractive) that have an above average personality and intellect. Attraction is subjective and person specific to a degree outside of basic biological/psychological factors.
@gifit2me
Personality is a decent factor, but I've known many women to change their personality to match their desired partner's personality. If she likes you enough, she'll want her personality to be like yours, not the other way around.
@sheabutter
The way a man treats a woman does not change how attracted she is to him unless he treats her poorly. If you are not attracted to a man and he treats you like a princess, you're still not attracted to him. It only affects if the person is already attracted to you. If a guy you don't like brings you flowers, you're not going to suddenly like him because he's sweet and thoughtful, you're simply going to be uncomfortable, because you don't want to lead him on. The way he treats you only matters after interest is already established, unless it's exceptionally poor.
@sheabutter
Essentially what I'm saying is, personality, and how he treats you only matter if you two don't actually get along at all, or he treats you poorly. If you're choosing between two men that are equal in all other aspects, personality could be the deciding factor, but if you meet someone you get along with very well who is very respectful, it doesn't make you attracted to him, it makes him a friend to you.
Pretty much, if there's an attractive guy who (since you're in college) is an intelligent athlete who most likely will go pro that doesn't treat you poorly, but is interested in you, compared to an average looking guy in your major who treats you kindly, and puts you first that you get along with and is also interested in you, 90% of women would choose the athlete. Status and looks mean more than respectfulness and personality in most of cases. Women will just cater their personality to the athlete's liking, and keep the average looking guy as a friend.
I agree in that there has to be pre-existing attraction (and I said that already), but I disagree in that attraction can only go down as the result of treatment. I find it funny that you are telling me (a woman) what I am attracted to even though I am saying otherwise. Anyway, the converse is also true in my case. Attraction also goes upward (assuming a baseline-level attraction has already been met) if the guy treats me well and we are more compatible. Just because a physically attractive guy doesn't treats me bad doesn't mean he treats me well or specially. Compatibility is just as important. I agree that the degree of compatibility needed can be slightly compromised, but that depends more on the work someone is willing to put in to make up for differences and that varies on an individual level. And who says compatibility has to not be for people in the same discipline? I have a multidisciplinary mindset as is. Anyway, that's beside the point.
Like almost anything else though, I agree mate selection is not entirely merit-based. That is where genetics and other biases come in. Whether that is how is should be and to what degree is debatable. If I am selecting for myself specifically, then of course my personal preferences are going to be taken into account, not just a check list of good traits.
I have to agree. My experience in dating has taught me that dating specialist don't know Jack.
Be yourself
Respect others
Take care of yourself mental and physical, spiritual
Follow through with your goals
Defend yourself and your woman.
Love your family and take care of them.
Small gesture and small reminder to a girl
Social media and too many dating and player coach's are causing men to be distracted from being what a true man is. I found spending too much time to lessoning to dating specialist teach you things your friends or family can.
I hate this be yourself BS. It never works for me.
^ you must have a really crappy personality if it doesn't, lmaooo
I bet if I were Hot my personality wouldn't matter.
Are you gonna buy me the $500 suit? xD
Also, isn't it wrong to say that every guy that wears hats and baggy pants is a boy, ergo, immature, arrogant, basically a jerk, just because some are? Isn't it the same as being rejected by a girl, and saying all girls are bitches? Isn't that a generalization, something you want men to stop doing to women?
There are so many great guys that act like gentlemen and dress with baggy pants and hats, that that last part destroys your whole take.
I agree with most of your post, even though it describes women that are over 25 or so, cause at a young age I rarely see them going for guys that are a gentleman, but that last part is a complete generalization about guys, saying that a guy with more casual clothes can't be a gentleman. It just makes you a hypocrite to be honest, cause you're saying one thing about girls, but not applying it to men too.
Yes. I know. I realised I misinterpreted that part after posting this take and reading it again. It's true that what a man wears shouldn't define his personality. There are many other things I left out, cuz in the end, we all have different preferences.
👌👌 as usual
Nice take. Well written, I agree to most of it. Good job! :)
by the way, I could add something: when people grow up and age a little more, things may change a lot as they realize what really matters and what real beauty is about.
Kudos for your take! :)
Thank you!
Can someone point me in the direction of the pretty man who doesn't know he's pretty?
And great piece by the way - it's all. Very true.
Though there are more exceptions to girls who go for doicgebags - girls with low self esteem and who only kniw abusive love.
Yes that too :)
😊💝
wow.. this was like you read everything from my mind.. because i think exactly the same.. very nice take.. i hope guys finally understand it now..
2.bp.blogspot.com/.../...ubgkYN681s3y9slo3_500.gif
Thanks. But apparently, they don't want to.
There will always be bitter people... we just have to live with them lol
yup.. :)
As an attractive guy who is a gentlemen with women I can tell you that out of hundreds of attempts I haven't been able to find a girlfriend even though very occasionally ill find a horny girl who wants to have sex without much talking. Once talking begins we inevitably become friends because I am a considerate gentleman. Douchebags have the advantage of being much more forward and aggressive which gives the illusion of confidence but even though im confident because im not aggressive im not taken seriously; im not aggressive because i respect the boundries of women. Needless to say that if i behaved like a douchebag i would probably do better with women simply because of the increased aggression.
I think your response Disproves the whole article. Well said👍👌. Also see this content:/.../0605113519.mhtml
I really don't understand why u guuys are saying that. If girls don't wanna be with you, i'm certain it's not because yoou're a gentleman. Or, I dunno... maybe the girls in your city are different.. cuz the first thing I'm attracted to in a guy is his manners. And I'm not just saying that.
Sometimes guys think they behave like a gentelman @asker
(I always open the the door -->I'm a gentleman now...) and they might have some characteristics but they fail in other ways like being very needy or they might have some nervous ticks which they don't know that they have them. Or are boring, agree to anything a girl says, can't hold eye contact or speak too fast and only about themselves, compliment the girl every minute, are hurt too fast even with little things which were actually only jokes...
Yea, makes sense @Dingsbums
It's because you're not aggressive enoug), not that you're a gentlemen
@serp777 Don't change and keep searching and the right lady will come along :)
I can't change because I would feel to guilty to be a total jerk to women. But once I start going on dates with women (ive been on hundreds and hundreds of dates), they inevitably just want to be platonic friends even if I initiate. THey enjoy hanging out with me but for some reason im not seen as sexual candidate. However, when not much talking is involved besides banter, like at parties, i seem to be vastly more efficient--i can make out with a number of girls and go home with a few. Being a gentleman has prevented me from dating and I dont see myself being able to get a girlfriend anytime in the future. There is no right lady because none of them will accept me not being aggressive; but its just not my personality so im screwed.
I loved this take!! And gossip girl <3! Omg haha.
Ok, I think there is SOME minor misunderstandings, when the douchebag comes in, obviously real girl who likes a man not for popularity/looks/social status/ or any cliche stupid thing HATED douche guys, ew.
But... bad boys can be hot, no, not the bad boys who hit their girls and are like in a gang haha. But kind of dominating/rascal/risky kind of guy. Because when a guy like that falls for a girl its even cuter! Because they're all tough on the outside, but inside is a soft, loving, sweet guy. :)) Plus the bad boy thing really is cute haha.
Agree with everything in this though! Point on! All guys really need to see this and not copy off of it but actually learn off of it and repeat these things from their heart not to lay a girl lol.
I totally agree on the bad boy thing!
Haha, right?
Yeah, I'd agree with you. It's easy for guys to get frustrated, but pouting doesn't help anything. Many of the guys who are bitter just simply aren't ready for relationships. A lot of people have issues from childhood that they need to work through before getting into romantic relationships.
Just remember, though, that guys have struggles in life, too. While I agree with this take, please don't judge awkward guys as losers while you treat awkward girls as beset-upon waifs. Guys don't exist just to creep you out or make your lives more difficult. We're out here just trying to figure it all out just like you. Lots of people carry psychic damage from the travails of growing up, guys as well as girls.
No, you're right. I don't judge anyone and I treat everyone respectfully noo matter if I like them or not. And I always make a guy feel comfortable when he's talking to me. M actually really nice in real life, if I sounded mean in this take..
@BumbleSuperBee No, you didn't sound mean at all. I was just trying to remind girls in general that most guys aren't out to try to upset you or add unwanted drama to your lives. We're all just trying to figure it out, and in some ways, we have the harder part, because we have to be suave and assured enough to present ourselves to a girl for scrutiny. Many of us aren't born with high levels of confidence, and early life experience takes away what we do have.
Bottom line, I just want everyone out there to give the other "team" a break. Girls have a lot to worry over with pregnancy and rape, so I'm not saying it's one-sided. Guys love girls, and it hurts us when we know we can't have our heart's desire. Sappy, maybe, but true.
Oh that was beautiful! And I understand.
This guy is so right. Best thing I've read for a long time.
Nice take gurl.
images.all-free-download.com/.../..._art_12924.jpg
Exactly. This is what I want and you should just listen to me and do what I want unquestioningly. It's for your own good.
Nobody cares what you want. I don't even want to listen. If you're not doing it right, or you're confused just stop. You don't deserve us anyway if you're too stupid to figure it out.
Everything I say makes perfect sense! We are totally just as smart, no! Smarter than you! That's how just as smart we are. You can see it in the absolute satisfaction in our relationships. Ever notice how we never whine or complain? That's cuz we got it all figured out! And you can too, just as long as you listen and accept everything I say as truth.
eventhough i believe that what you said is true, i can't agree with you. Simply because your arguments are wrong and irrelevent. If you've taken them away, I would've been reading this like ''yeah i absolutely agree". Unfortunetely, it's not the case. the takeowner said that she likes handsome guys because they don't know they're cute, which basically makes them cute!; this is ABSUUUURD! because, according to her, if he happens to get how cute is he , he'll turn into a douchebag. Which is so wrong and way too inaccurate. A handsome guy, who knows he IS handsome but doesn't act like he's the handsome in room, and treats everyone equally because , hello! he doesn't give looks that big of importance after all! , is a keeper.
On the things women don't want I agree. One point I would add is that the girls who go for D-bags may also just be unable to distinguish between arrogant overcompensating (usually means they are actually insecure) and actual confidence. On what we want (well me anyway), I don't mind if a guy knows he is attractive as long as he is not arrogant and tries to abuse his power. How he dresses and acts just has to be genuine. Other than that, I have my own specific preferences when it comes to men, but I wouldn't extrapolate those to the entire female population.
LOVED reading this. It's all extremely accurate. And I agree. A suit on a man to me is like lingerie on a woman to men.
Haha! Loved the comparison! <3
your "insight" of saying that the only girls who are attracted to jerks are either Bitches or Sweet innocent girls, is, missing the point, to say the least.
you see, we guys don't really differentiate girls by whether they are bitches or sweet.
we differentiate them by whether they are pretty or not, big boobs or not, slim or not.
their personality is really quite low a priority compared to their looks.
and low and behold, it seems plenty of hot girls are with jerks rather than, say, non-jerks.
We COULDN'T CARE LESS if an ugly bitch or ugly sweet girl is going out with a jerk, we ain't trying to win over those girls' hearts.
so before you try and tell guys which is to right way to win over girls, you should ask yourself whether a jerk wins more hot girls or a "gentleman" wins more hot girls.
And what about the jerks who can pretend to be a gentleman?
Um. I did ask mysef and many other girls. And most of them prefer gentleman, my friend.
"Jerks pretending to be gentlemen" iis a different story..
sure they prefer gentleman, IN AN IDEAL WORLD!
but what if the only choice available to your so called "many other girls" at a particular moment in their lives is between either a jerk or a nice guy, and there is no gentleman in sight?
what's her choice going to be then, huh?
another flaw with your theory is that:
1. you need to be of certain age in order to become a real gentleman (i mean, they will never cast a 22 year old guy to be James Bond, agreed?)
2. only hot girls between age 16 to 24 can truly qualify for my-god-i-want-to-fxxk-her-right-now hot
3. most people hang out with people of their own age
if you summarize the above 3 points, we can come to the conclusion that young hot girls that guys really want are unlikely to come across many gentleman at that time in their lives, and they are left with young guys who are either jerks or nice guys, and guess which type she will go for?
or let me put it more bluntly:
maybe jerks or jerks-wannabe are only aiming to catch girls who doesn't realize that gentlemen exist.
Yeah, no, don't try to lump me in a group in which I actually am not like the thing you're asserting it to be. I honestly couldn't care less about physical appearance, but I feel like I'm being misrepresented here which is unfortunate.
"you see, we guys don't really differentiate girls by whether they are bitches or sweet.
we differentiate them by whether they are pretty or not, big boobs or not, slim or not.
their personality is really quite low a priority compared to their looks"
Speak only for yourself, don't say "we guys".
nah, "we guys" sounds about right.
because only little girls care about "being misinterpreted" and that's exactly what you two are.
Well.. I want a man who is honest, caring, thinks of me but is strong and stands his ground. I want a man who can defend himself and me yet is strong enough to listen openly to my input. Respectful, gallant, and assured.
And boys... no where in there did I talk about his BIG... wallet.. It just doesn't matter.
his wallet has to be as big as a bank lmao
no... I don't care about his money or his size.
There is no formula for attraction, boom I said it, no matter if you are the nicest sweetest gentlemen, or the dochiest frat bro around none of will matter if you are ugly/ fat/ to skinny. I've learned this the hard way. Point is you need to be attractive to date, or else there is no other way to get your foot in the door. Don't give me the whole "Oh looks don't matter" cause you said it yourself, everything you do is useless unless you are attractive. Once you are attractive, then everything else will fall into place, end of story
Very true bro, well said
I approve this message.
Im a girl and even I agree... But I mean hey, when I first spot a guy, I didn't look at him because he was nice opening the door for some girl. I probably looked at him cause he was "cute" and nicely opened the door for some girl. Just saying... Gotta go with looks first, then I get to know your personality
I think any guy that can use their brain can come to these conclusions by themselves but a lot of guys on the internet just like to whine and complain about their problems. A little bit of that is understandable but in the long term it's not going to help them get what they want. Just working on their character and becoming that classy respectable man is really what matters in the long run. All in all I enjoyed your Take thank you for writing it.
I agree wiith what you said. And you're welcome!:)
Least im not the only one that thinks like this lol got accused of whining the other day for basically saying the same thing. That individual is just a intellectual wannabe
Nice article. I want to add that although we do like genuinely nice guys, most guys who describe themselves as "nice" are really creepy and clingy and usually are just pretending to be nice to try and get in our pants. There are girls who have a thing for the bad boys but that's just their preference and certainly isn't a universal thing. It's just the guys who are adamant about the fact that they're nice usually aren't and we know that.
I love a boy who will take time out of his busy schedule just to make sure I'm doing okay. A gentleman and someone who will listen to me and comfort me when I am sad. Always cheer me up and tell be I'm beautiful every morning and every night. Will kiss me at the most spontaneous moments and isn't afraid to tell everyone that he loves. A guy who will be mine and treat me right.