How to train your man into becoming your ideal mate

[Nettie29Howie]

1. Make him a sandwich and serve it to him.

2. Let him eat and watch TV or play his video games. (Leave him alone.)

3. Clean his plate and the kitchen or whatever may be filthy.

4. "Allow him to have special time"

5. Leave him the hell alone while he is in the bathroom for hours on end, doing God knows what.

6. Have something for dinner every night prepared.

7. Make sure he knows/thinks his opinion matters.

8. Don't ever let him leave the house horny or hungry.

9. Always support him.

10. Don't argue, simply speak your peace and that's that.

11. Make him feel special and let him know you appreciate him.

12. Don't let yourself go. I mean wear your comfortable clothes but don't look like you just don't give a rat ass. Hell, a little effort is all most guys require in a relationship.

If you follow these steps you will have your man trained to do whatever you want because then he will realize he has a good thing and he will try to do anything to keep you happy.

Disclosure:

Not every man is subject to like this treatment. Some are just straight out untrainable.

Also:

This is not to be taken as fact or as serious. I know a lot of feminist on here on going to bash this, but hey it is myTake. Lol anywho, let the judgement begin.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Lol what's some of these ladies problems? If you look at the contrast in comments obviously these are things a man would appreciate in a woman. I do all of the above plus so much more, it isn't slavery or inequality it's called love. When you love a person you care about their needs over your own, making them happy makes you happy and if they love you back then of course they wouldn't mind doing the same for you. Relationships aren't about what you can get out of them, it's about what you can do for the other person. It's about taking care of them, and loving them, and nurturing them. If doing those things for someone you claim to "love" is a pain, then you most certainly do not love them at all. And who cares if these ideas are "from the 50s" is it not a woman's right to choose how she prefers to treat her husband and her home? She can do whatever she wants, but when you're a dick to your man he has the right to not put up with it and leave the relationship so he can be with someone that does enjoy expressing love.

[Nettie29Howie]

Exactly, when you lover someone, you will love doing things that put a smile on their face.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Yes! And I thought this take was well needed for the some of the ladies in the GAG community whether they liked it or not lol. This was good. :D

[asiag299]

Thank you!!! :)

[Cookies_AndMilk]

@asiag299 Haha, no problem. :)

[QuestionMan]

Oh I thought this going to be some bs about training a man like a dog. Turns out it's about treating a man with love and respect.
Well done.

[Nettie29Howie]

Why, thank you...😊

[Roostah]

I thought the same.

[QuestionMan]

Would you mind writing one about women?

[Nettie29Howie]

I wouldn't mind at all.

[Nettie29Howie]

This is the link:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22535-putting-your-woman-in-her-place

[Blake0048]

Yea... with the intention of training him like a dog by manipulating him.

[ElissaDido]

If the guy loves me and respects me, I wouldn't have a problem doing all of this, I would actually love doing this for him if he deserves them.

[Nettie29Howie]

True enough.

[OlderAndWiser]

When I saw the title, I opened this myTake because I wanted to leave a comment to chastise you for the attitude. However, I read the myTake and realize that you are really saying that you can't train anyone, just be the best partner that you can be and hope that they will respond with appreciation and will want to be the best partner for you. I absolutely agree with that philosophy and I try to practice that consistently.

[crayven]

1. Make him a sandwich and serve it to him. ( this is interchangable, I can make her a sandwich, it's not sexism it's simply showing affection through the stomach lol )

2. Let him eat and watch TV or play his video games. (Leave him alone.)
WRONG !
JOIN him in playing video games!

3. Clean his plate and the kitchen or whatever may be filthy.

Ask him for help, you will be surprised.

4. "Allow him to have special time"

5. Leave him the hell alone while he is in the bathroom for hours on end, doing God knows what.

( meditating on where his life is going or on current problems he has - trust me :P )

6. Have something for dinner every night prepared.

You can go out too if you don't feel like cooking and he will be equally happy for the offer.

7. Make sure he knows/thinks his opinion matters.

If i had a nickle for every time women should follow this advice...

8. Don't ever let him leave the house horny or hungry.

Why hungry? :D

9. Always support him.

10. Don't argue, simply speak your peace and that's that.

11. Make him feel special and let him know you appreciate him.

12. Don't let yourself go. I mean wear your comfortable clothes but don't look like you just don't give a rat ass. Hell, a little effort is all most guys require in a relationship.

[Nettie29Howie]

Yeah, you're right, sone of this is interchangeable. However, this was strictly for men.
Trust me, I know women deserve equal treatment, I have a hubby that proves this daily.

[TheGeorge]

I can't say I agree with all of that. Your general ideas might be out of good intentions, but the execution lacks a kind of appreciation for your togetherness. What I value most in a relationship is to accomplish things together and I would really hate to see my girlfriend having an obligation to fulfill my every need in order to make me happy. Much more I'd like for us to have a consensual approach and meet somewhere in the middle. What that means specifically:

- Make a sandwich together. Of course I don't mind her surprising me every once in a while but it should not be a common thing.
- Watch something that we both like together. I can catch up on whatever I missed while she is hanging out with her girls or doing something else. I don't want to waste precious time with my girlfriend. I am not so selfish. And in general I think you should have a common interest anyway, so if you lack things you can watch together I'm not sure that would be an ideal relationship for me. I really enjoy being lazy on the couch with her.
- Do the dishes yourself or at least take turns. Why should she do my dishes? I'd feel bad about it. Even if she means good, I'd rather do it myself.
- I'm not sure what I'd do for hours on end in the bathroom and I always like when my girlfriend joins me for a shower or bath.
- Again, cooking together. There's nothing better than that when it comes to eating. It's even better than going out for dinner in my book.

So yeah, these situations you describe would make me think there is a lack of communication in my relationship, and that is never a good thing.

[Nettie29Howie]

Okay, but this take isn't about that. I agree togetherness is a must, so is communication. I was only referring to treating men they way we want to be treated because there is so many men bashing articles. This was purposely one sided. Trust me, I am not the type of woman that thinks obligations are appropriate. I do it because I love him and it makes both of us happy to help each other. He does the same for me.

[TheGeorge]

Yeah if that works for you of course there is nothing wrong with it. If both of you appreciate that kind of behavior I won't disagree with it. It just doesn't work the same for everyone. I know you said so yourself, I didn't mean to criticize you or anything, just give you my point of view ;)

[Nettie29Howie]

I understand that, just had to explain because people are not understanding this is intended to be one sided. At the very end of this take, I implied it should work both ways. Thank you for your input. Nice semi debate.

[TheGeorge]

Yeah I got that you meant for it to work both ways. But look, here is what my problem is with that: If you grant him space to let him watch his favorite TV shows or play video games, and you expect him to do the same for you in return, that translates to me like: Let's both leave each other alone, I will watch TV in my room while you can play video games in your room. That is not my understanding of a good relationship. I'd think we lack a common interest and therefore I'd start to question whether this is the right person for me. You aren't talking about the frequency of such things of course so I can only speculate, but some of your points make me feel like you just avoid each other a lot and that might sometimes be a good thing, but it can easily be too much to the point where I'd feel there is a problem in our communication. But of course I agree with most of your other statements anyway.

[Nettie29Howie]

Oh heck no. We are around each other whenever we are home. Our interest is the same. We both love Syfy, comedies, action, drama, arcades, restaurants, each other, and outdoor activities. We surrender lots of time together. You are taking this way too serious, and quite literally. I know this doesn't embody the whole aspect of a relationship. Believe me, I cannot be with someone I don't spend personal time with.

[Nettie29Howie]

Not surrender, but spend. Freaking autocorrect.

[TheGeorge]

OK my bad then. I might have ignored the warning signs :D

[Nettie29Howie]

Warning signs? Thank you for the interest in this mytake. ☺

[TheGeorge]

Haha you're welcome. Yeah I mean I read that you said this wasn't to be taken seriously, but I kinda thought why would you write something like this if you didn't mean it anyway. So I more or less ignored that :P

[Nettie29Howie]

Ah, I see why you took it so serious. I meant not to take it so serious, to the point you are pissed or ready to debate everything. I meant the article, I just didn't mean for people who are analytical to get hypersensitive about it. Which is why I dais this is neither fact or serious. I could have stayed that better. Sorry for the confusion.

[Bandit74]

Overall Id say this is a good take

Personally its not a dealbreaker if a girl doesnt/cant cook, although Id be lying if I said I didn't find it appealing to date a girl who is great at cooking and enjoys doing it. So for me a girl who can cook is a bonus not a requirement.

for 10.
I want a girl who can stick up for herself. I don't want her to just give in to avoid conflict. Its all about how she argues her points. If she can explain her viewpoint calmly and rationally, that's awesome. I just don't want a girl who is condescending, passive aggressive or resorts to screaming in order to get what she wants.

I definitely agree on 12.

I dont expect a girl to be perfect or anything but I appreciate a girl who wears lingerie and makes an effort to stay in shape. I dont have any experience with this, but I've heard other guys say that girls often get lazy and let themselves go when they get into a relationship. Also that a lot of girls put more effort into their appearance and try to look sexy when they are single and going out to clubs/parties but when they are in a relationship they just don't give a shit :/

[Nettie29Howie]

Yeah, I agree with you on number 10. I could have stated it better. Thanks for your comment, I like the detail response you gave.

[wingattebaby16]

OMG i love this!

I do almost of this for my guy, mostly coz he likes it and i like doing it coz it makes me happy to see him happy!

I know it sounds lame!

I do #2 with him!

#5, what do guys do in the bathroom so long?

The first part of #8 is great for me! The second part i dont get. Why can't he go out hungry? If he does, we both just stop to eat.

#12 ... OMG this is so true! So many girls i know after they get the guy, they stop dressing up since "they got hhim now, so why spend time at home on doing yourself up?"

I get home a couple hrs b4 my guy does. I almost always take a shower and put on clean clothes before he comes home. If i dont dress up and do makeup (i dont wear much make up), i at least make sure he knows i am happy he is home! If your attitude is right, even a cutoff tshirt and sweats looks sexy when your guy comes home!

[Nettie29Howie]

Very true. Number 8 is an old saying. It just means make sure he leaves the house wanting to come back home. Thank you. 😆

[spuitkaas]

This must be written by a guy disguised by a girl.
1, 6, 8. I'm not there to feed him all the time. Sure I could make him dinner sometime, but I want to be equal in the relationship. I don't feel obligated to serve him food all the time. He can make dinner too sometimes.
2, 4, 5 sure he can have some time alone. I do the same.
3. Kinda the same as 1, 6, 8. I don't feel obligated to constantly walk behind his ass to clean his shit. He can do something as well.
7. I will. Because it does.
9. Depends on what. I can give my opinion if I think it's not a good idea.
10. If he'll listen to it. My opinion matters just as much as his.
11. I will
12. I will just stay in shape and look alright, but I won't ruin my feet for him by walking in heels all the time or feel in any way uncomfortable. My sort of boyfriend right now likes me just as much without makeup and in jogging pants as all dressed up.
I want an equal relationship and I don't want to whipe his ass all the time.

[Nettie29Howie]

Okay, that is understandable. Also not a guy, very much a lady. lol.

[spuitkaas]

Are you more the conservative type? Because I'm not at all. Maybe that's where our difference in opinions come from.

[Nettie29Howie]

I don't think I am but people say I am.

[sluggognatface]

This is the best answer regardless of most helpful blah blah. No way would a woman write this unless we were in the 1950's but here we are somehow. If I was female I would see this take as offensive to a small degree.

[Nettie29Howie]

@sluggognatface I am indeed a woman. I don't understand why this sets women back to the fifties. I think it shows appreciation, it goes both ways. Also isn't that relationships are about, making each other happy.

[spuitkaas]

Unfortunatly you haven't mentioned what he gives back. Don't say he will be the bread winner, because I'm about to work as well. The take sounds very one-sided and I think it was probably not your purpose to make it sound like that, but it does.

[sluggognatface]

I agree Kaas it really does sound one sided. It's a life I would get bored of if my lady was like a slave.

[Nettie29Howie]

Yes, the take is one sided, I admit that. I was only referring to one side of the coin here @Owner. Thank you for trying to understand instead of making accusations. ^^^
He does everything, literally, if I ask sick, he will go at two in the morning to buy what I need, even though he has to leave the house by 7a. m. and he just went to bed at 11p. m.
He does everything in the list for me, too.
Heck he even puts up with my sarcastic family...

[Nettie29Howie]

I am sick*

[Goldie757]

My thoughts exactly.

[spuitkaas]

But it kinda sounds like in everyday life (so not when you're sick) you cook, clean, take care of his sexual needs, let him have all the private time he wants and not speak out your opinion.
What should he do in return? Just asking.

[Nettie29Howie]

He works 12 hrs days. He washes clothes sometime, he takes out the trash, he fixes broken objects, he spends a lot of time running errands for me and he loves me.

[GirlsLie]

I agree with these, if the guy deserves it. I want to do all of those things because I love my boyfriend and I love taking care of the people that I love (especially cooking for them). I would be playing video games as well though lol

I don't think the examples you gave are as important as your message, if you're in a relationship with someone, you should want to do nice things for them, no matter the gender and no matter what those things are honestly.

I could never let myself go in a relationship, not only for your boyfriend but for yourself, you should want to take care of yourself and look good, so you feel good also.

But you also need respect in return, don't just give to someone who doesn't respect you or give anything back, you will resent them and they will take advantage of you.

[SensualScribe]

I actually agree with a lot of this. Most of this would come naturally to a woman who has a very strong nurturing instinct. Some have it and some don't. And yeah, I bet this would piss off a lot of feminists. I don't think there is anything wrong with treating and taking care of your man. However, I think it goes both ways. If he is happy and taken care of, most men will gladly do the same in return. As long as he is not demanding and respectful of me, I have absolutely not problem with most of this. Only thing is, I like to watch TV with my man. My current significant other and I have the same taste in movies, TV and like the same sports teams. He would rather watch with me than without me.

[Nettie29Howie]

I agree. You are also correct because I do have a nurturing personality. I love to shelter those I love.

[SensualScribe]

Actually, my man does not let me take care of him the way I would like. He is disabled and living in a nursing home. I have asked him several times if I fixed up my house to make it handicap accessible if he would live with me and I would take care of him. He doesn't want to burden me. We have only known each other a year and two months and just got really serious the past six months, so I am actually hoping that he will change his mind. I would absolutely love to take care of him. I can do just as good, if not better job than they do at the nursing home and with love.

[Nettie29Howie]

You are a very supportive SO. You guys seem like a great couple. He doesn't expect you to take care of him but yet you want to out of love. That is beautiful. 😇

[SensualScribe]

Thank you. :)

[HookingSwan]

Hey I understand what you are saying. That means being respectful towards your SO.

Just trying to understand the other gender's side.

But I don't believe "training" is exactly the word for it.

It is just what comes with being a good girlfriend, which should be given back by him, by being a good boyfriend as well :)

[Nettie29Howie]

Yeah, the title was misleading on purpose.

[HookingSwan]

;) yeah I noticed what you did there

[becca123]

This is simple relationship 101. Not sure why everyone is jumping off the ledge, here.

Making an effort to keep each other happy is the key to success. If you take time to put his needs before yours, he will do the same.

Your message was very tongue in cheek, but also very true.

[Nettie29Howie]

Thank you!!! ☺
Not really sure what tongue and cheek means?

[becca123]

Light hearted

[DessieDoo]

I must admit, the title instantly irritated me. I thought you were a feminist posting up about how to change your man into someone you want. After reading this, I realize that you share the same views I do! Spoil your fucking man and give him the treatment he deserves! Its really not that hard, but some women are pathetic. Truly love this take. :)

[Nettie29Howie]

Thank you so much. Yeah, the title is purposely deceptive. Lol

[DessieDoo]

Lol, you're very welcome! I see that a woman down votede. She must think she should be treated like a queen without showing her man the same love. Its women like you, with the same beliefs as mine, that give me hope in humanity.

[Anonymous]

i actually agree with this lol

over time i have come to the conclusion that defensiveness and acting like you are one of the guys will eventually make him see you as one of the guys
our mothers were right !

acting feminine, delicate and caring and all those feminine traits (that a lot of women treat like it's a shameful trait and something to be made fun of ) actually makes me become marshmallows around you xD hehe
i guess lady like behaviour triggers chivalry and gentleman like behavior

i read somewhere that men become angry/bitter/defensive when something threatens their manhood or leadership

good job actually lol good take
more women should follow this... i mean men are not exactly making it easier for women to let their guard down and just relax and stop building walls around them but hey... lol

[Opinion Owner]

but obviously if he deserves it lol

[Nettie29Howie]

True indeed. My mom told me that too, bUT I was a tomboy, so I didn't listen until I realized I will always be considered boyish. Although, there is nothing wrong with being a tomboy or boyish.

[Opinion Owner]

lol if there is any relationship advice i would give to someone it would be listen to your (grand) mother)

they really knew whats up ! they handled their relationships right and got everything they wanted without all the stress and their men were happy too it was like a win win lol
relatinships back then were just so much better... but no we have to yell at our mothers and tell them their relationship advice is horrible and lame and not listen to it and watch how relationships are so stressful and meaningless right now while relationships in the past were so rich and true love wasn't this rare thing
all their advice is right
be hard to get
be a lady
take care of your man and let him take care of you
be delicate and take care of your looks as well
you are not an alley cat (lol)

and all that stuff, so simple yet so effective!

no nothing is wrong with being a tomboy lol even a tomboy is still a girl eventually so they do have a feminine side as well
the problem is with women...

[Opinion Owner]

... who cuss like sailors and act like horny pigs to get attention and all that stuff

[Nettie29Howie]

Taking relationship advice from my grandmothers would be hectic to my relationship. They were about cooking and cleaning, not really huge in the respect. The one that was divorced a few times.

[Opinion Owner]

oh lol
let's stick to mothers then lol

[asiag299]

I completely agree with this!! Whenever I find my SO I would love to do these things for him. I think women now confuse taking care of someone because you love them the same as being his slave. I wouldn't be my SO's slave but I would treat him like I care and love him as well as respect him as the head of the relationship. As long as he treats me with respect and love I wouldn't mind doing these things for him and most likely I would probably enjoy it. :) This was an awesome MyTake.

[Nettie29Howie]

Thank you, dear!!!

I seen your comments on this thread but I never seen this one until now. Good commentary by the way.

[asiag299]

haha thanks :) and you very welcome!

[lumos]

1, 2, 3 and 6... I'm his girlfriend not his mommy. If he can't cook or make himself his own snacks he can get the hell out lol.

[Nettie29Howie]

Well, I wrote this list from the view point of a married women. Didn't mean to offend.

[lumos]

So it's ok to act like you're his mommy if you're his wife? That's disturbing. Your husband should pick up after himself.

[Nettie29Howie]

Why does it matter, if I don't mind. Plus I am very particular about were things go, so it is easier for me to do it.

[Someguy17]

It's not about having a "mommy." I can do all of the above for myself and don't mind doing any of it. The things listed here are things that tell a man "I care about you." Words are nice, but most men like to see the actions and effort to back it up.

Also, this is from the for men perspective only. I will go to ends of the earth for a woman that treats me right.

[MikeyTheRebel]

@Someguy17 Exactly bro, no one said we couldn't do those things ourselves lol

[lumos]

@Someguy17 oh sure. I wouldn't mind doing it every once in a while. But takeowner made it seem like some kind of requirement to pick up after your husband 24/7 and serve him sandwiches as if he's some kid. That's just weird.

[Nettie29Howie]

This is not being his mother. This is helping him remain happy and keeping him coming home. I didn't mean every day either. I meant if he asked or if you know he loves certain food or sandwiches make/cook it. Most guys would do the same for a girl that is supportive.

[asiag299]

We do it to show we care why can't other women understand that and why do you guys have to bash us for doing it!

[lumos]

@asiag299 why are you even commenting when you clearly haven't read the whole string of comments under my answer?

[asiag299]

Well actually when I read it I didn't see other comments lol i guess my computer was lagging sorry

[Queen_naki5]

I like this Take because I'm a firm believer that you have to give respect to receive it. Always respect your man as he should to you. You can't go around emasculating him, talking down to him and treating him like crap and expect to be treated like a queen. You have to treat your man like a king in order to be treated like a queen. A relationship is a two-way street. Great job 😀

[Watermelonoma]

you got it :)

[Nettie29Howie]

Thank you so much! ☺

[Queen_naki5]

I knew at least one girl would downvote me but it's true. I'm gonna cherish my man like I would want him to cherish me. Thanks @Watermelonoma

[Tula1]

Most of the mytakes I've read have been off, especially when written by women as shown by the plethora of female voices here. Treat everyone well without expectation, especially your mate. If they can't appreciate it, don't worry, your kindness is not in vain, you just don't need to be in a relationship with them. I like this take. Saddened by the voices of women who think that it demeans or my personal favorite, that respect and love must be earned before you show it. Just be love and you given a gift. If someone returns it, then you have a friend or partner for life.

[Anonymous]

I wish it was this simple but its usually not. What often happens is the girl will get mad about something, she will not say what it is, she will stop doing one or several of the above things to retaliate, the guy gets mad and can't figure out why, and arguments ensue.

so ladies,

13. If something is making you upset for the love of god SAY SOMETHING!

[Nettie29Howie]

Great addition... I didn't think of that. 😊

[Opinion Owner]

You'll make a guy very happy one day if you haven't already.

[DeltaDanner]

Give respect and love, get respect and love. This is truly refreshing to see. I love my girlfriend with all my heart and appreciate everything she does for me. Ladies, if you treat your guy with respect and care he will treat you the same way. It's women who treat their men like dogs that make men miserable. You don't have to be his slave! You just have to show him that you give a damn about him!

[Nettie29Howie]

Exactly, great point!

[Jolson131]

This take is great. Its controversial but it helps me make a point. Guys just wanna take care of their girl and all we want to happen is to be shown appreciation and patience. But instead, we want to take care of them, have to give them what they want, try to not "step on their toes" by not talking to any female anywhere, keep all other females outside of a 20 mile radius... its stressful. Thank god my girlfriend isn't like that but it seems like most stick to that guideline

[Nettie29Howie]

It is quite controversial, I figured it would be divided.
Glad your girlfriend makes you happy.