Why girls shouldn't blame their boyfriends for being jealous

[BumbleSuperBee]

This myTake is dedicated to the girls since they're the ones who usually complain about their jealous bpyfriends. Sure, girls get jealous of their boyfriend's female friends as well but the difference is, that most guys don't question their loyalty to their girlfriends over and over again, and, plus, most of the guys distance themselves from their female friends in order not to make their girl jealous once they become in a relationship. In addition to that, the reasons that make girls jealous are some of the time ridiculous (~will be stated by the end of this take).

First thing's first.

I'm certain you girls said at least one of the following phrases to your jealous boyfriends:

• "We're just friends".


• "He knows I'm not interested in him that way".


• "I don't even like him".


• "I trust him."


• "Why are you jealous? Don't you trust me?"


• "Don't worry about it. You have no reason to be jealous".


• "I thought you said you trusted me".

Here are a few reasons to why you shouldn't get mad on your lover:

He trusts you. He doesn't trust them.

What girls need to finally get in their heads is the following:

If you've been together with your boyfriend for a long time and if he tells you he trusts you, it means he trusts you. Period. But it's the other guys that he doesn't trust.

Yeah, I know that you might have a lot of guy friends or guy best friends but that doesn't mean they never thought about you in a non-friendly way. Girls, don't be naive. I know it's not how you want your friendship with the guys to be but, it's true. It's a fact. Most of the guys have admitted to have fantasized about at least one of their female friends - at least once. If you consider yourself attractive, then no guy friend of yours have not thought about you as more than just friends.

Which is why you have to trust your boyfriends or believe them or even consider what they say when they tell you "careful, that guy likes you". I'm sure you're usually like: "Whaa-? Jake?? Naah! We're really good friends! He wouldn't! Pffft...He couldn't simply-...I can't even...Oh, c'mon.. It's my bud Jake!". Guys know guys better than girls know guys. In this case, I say you listen to the guys. They know each other more than you know them. They can notice if a guy is into you or not by watching him talk to you for 10 seconds. It's an instinct of theirs.

You're being too playful with your guy friends

After becoming in a relationship, you should realise that your relationship with your guy friends isn't gonna stay exactly the same. Even if you're friends, there must have been a time where you two flirted with each other / were playful with each other / or even did those tiny but not-so-tiny things, like tickling, hugging, etc.

Guys can become super jealous in these kinda situations where you're playful with a guy to the point where it leads to those touchy moments. If your guy doesn't have these kinda relationships with his female friends, then it's preferable for you to think twice before acting when you're around your closest guy friends.

He cares about you

When you trust your boyfriend, you should trust his insticts.

When guys care about a girl, everything that matters to them is to keep her safe. Their first priority becomes to protect her. Which is why, instead of giving your boyfriend the "I thought you trusted me" talk, just appreciate the fact that you have someone who actually cares about you, who will never let anything bad happen to you, who will always be there for you whenever you need them.

I've never experienced such a feeling but it sure does sound comforting! So, girls,savour the moment as long as you have the chance to!

Yup. Thats's pretty much all I got, folks!

---

~The list I promised you:

Ridiculous things that make girls jealous

1. He liked another girl's photo on instagram


2. He liked another girl's photo on facebook


3. He liked another girl's status on facebook


4. He liked another girl's tweet


5. He talked to a girl


6. He laughed with a girl


7. He complimented a girl


8. He said hi to a girl


9. He waved to a girl


10. He smiled to a girl

Yes, I know that was overly-over-exaggerated but I found it amusing. Lol.

Girls, please don't be upset and don't hate me. This is not a generalisation to girls. I know not all girls are like that, I really do.

In conclusion, try to be a bit more understanding and don't get upset on your guy quickly without listening to his point of view.

I've noticed that guys don't complain about jealous girlfriends very much. It could be either cause they know there's a reason for them to be jealous, or they try to distance themselves from female friends in order to avoid these misunderstandings in the first place. That doesn't mean guys are angels from heaven - don't get me wrong - but that guys are smart and tricky human beings.

Noww here's a gif for my lovelies to end this take :D

[sluggognatface]

Jealousy is petty and texting half the day is a pain in the ass to be honest. I do like some of the stuff in that but again jealousy is a waste of time. I just want to be with someone that wants me. If I have to act like a fool to keep her than I will just let her go. I will never try to force anyone to love/want me. It's demeaning and a time waster. I'm not sure of how many committed men you talk with but a jealous wife/gf is also a massive pain in the ass. I don't do crazy either. Been there done that.

[lumos]

"He trusts you. He doesn't trust them."
Then what's the issue? If he trusts her, then that means he knows that she won't cheat, right? Why worry about what some other guy is trying to do if you know for sure she'll reject him? See, that statement right there is pure bullshit and tries to shift the blame on the other guy, when the real issue here is that the guy doesn't trust his girlfriend to say no.

[BumbleSuperBee]

"" why worry about what some other guy is trying to do "" ?
If I were a guy, yes, i'd definitely NOT want any guy to hit on my girlfriend or make a move on her, even if she wouldn't respond to that.

[lumos]

Like I said it wouldn't matter as long as she rejects the advances. Pointless bullshit to get jealous over.

[AryaP]

So ur saying u wouldn't mind it when a girl is flirting around ur man but ohhh of course ur man has no interest in that girl.

[AryaP]

if u truly love that person doesn't fucking matter that u know ur gf/bf will reject ur still gonna be fucking pissed off as long as they r around that person... something called human nature.

[lumos]

@AryaP as long as he rejects them and makes it clear he's with me, then I have no reason to worry about what some random ass girl is trying to do.

[ThatJarHead]

What you seem to be missing is whether or not you say "No!" It's not going to stop them if they're really thirsty. That's the point of "I trust you. I do not trust them" get your head outta your ass.

[rjroy3]

Even if a guy trusts his girl it's bothersome that she would let another guy try, with the reason of "nothing's going to happen".

I know that how it is, because in high school I had. Female friend that liked me. I knew she liked me and I wasn't going to cheat on my girl. This friend flirted and said some things that she probably shouldn't have on social media. While yes, my girlfriend should have trusted me it looked bad and I can't blame her for having this feelings when there was this attractive girl hanging around me that was clearly interested and I was entertaining her actions. That was immature and almost disrespectful on my part. Now that I'm older and see what happened I can say that on the flip side it's the same thing.

Just having a guy friend is not bad, but if it's guy is constantly flirting because "that's just how we are with eachother" that's unsettling and honestly disrespectful. Why entertain another guy that this could possibly lead somewhere even I it isn't?

[rjroy3]

This is just an explanation for why you can't get mad at your partner for being upset about this situation. Because it's completely reasonable that they would feel that way

[AmericanPoet]

Because it is disrespectful. When I was seeing this girl for a while guys were texting or they were "pokung" on FB. She said they were friends and no threat. When we dug deeper, they were guys she met randomly and had wanted to go out with her or they had a date or two. I wasn't jealous but I did find it naive that she didn't realize they weren't friends, they would only check in every few months to see if her vagina was free (my words to make a point).

[M_A_X]

Sorry, Lumos, but a lot of women often use the excuse "I was drunk" to get away with a lot more than any man could

[lumos]

@ThatJarHead quit being rude. What do you think is going to happen if this guy keeps pursuing her? She's going to cheat eventually, or what? If you think she's going to cheat then yeah, you don't trust her.

@rjroy3 your example here has literally nothing to do with my opinion because I clearly said that there's nothing to worry about or feel jealous of as long as your partner rejects the people who make advances. You didn't reject your friend and that's what you did wrong. So your example her does not invalidate my argument because you didn't do the one thing I said that you HAVE to do.

@AmericanPoet I'm not talking about naive girls who go along with other guys' flirting, I'm talking about those who keep rejecting such guys.

@M_A_X those girls are not worth trusting in the first place so what's your fucking point? Why be with a girl if you're afraid she'll do something like that? A girl who uses that as an excuse is NOT TRUSTWORTHY.

[lumos]

It's like you guys don't even read what I'm saying considering that ALL of you came up with irrelevant examples and rants. Do yourselves a favor and read my opinions from start to finish until you fully comprehend them.

[Octavius]

Exactly. If I have a girlfriend I let her reject other dudes. She's a grown up she can handle it, I respect her enough to be independent and if I'm worried she wouldn't then it would mean I didn't trust her and the relationship had already failed. I would only step in if her safety comes into play when the guy doesn't take "no" for an answer.

[lumos]

@Octavius exactly. Thank you for being the first guy who actually understands what I'm trying to say. If a guy can't take no for an answer, you should be worried about what he might forcefully do to your girl (since she's obviously going to keep saying no if she's worth trusting). Not jealous.

[ThatJarHead]

No. More concerned if he really wants it and is denied it he will take it anyways. That's what I'd be concerned about. Especially if I didn't know the guy. I'd still be worried even if I did.

[lumos]

@ThatJarHead that's something to be concerned about yes, not JEALOUS of. "i'm jealous of the guy who molested/raped my girlfriend" <- do you understand how fucked up that sounds? Don't mistake worry for jealousy. They're two completely different emotions.

[lumos]

Ok so gag fucked up the last part of my opinion. Lol.

[ThatJarHead]

@Octavius That's exactly the point I'm trying to make! What you said at the end there! I would be concerned about rape! Not trust! Personally I think @lumos is failing to keep an open mind. The problem with a girl who you think is unfaithful is cheating. This is true. A girl you trust and believe IS faithful the concern changes to her getting raped if you don't get involved. That's the point to the statement the author made. Let's be honest, it's not hard to commit rape. It's relatively easy compared to a bank heist or a murder plan.

[Octavius]

@ThatJarHead You shouldn't assume every guy that hits on your girl is a rapist. That's just fucked up. The difference between me and others is I wait for them to prove themselves as jerks before I tell them to leave. I don't preemptively pick a fight with a dude because he MIGHT not take no for an answer. That's just old fashioned paranoia and that paranoia gets guys thrown in jail all the time and most chicks don't want a boyfriend that they have to bail out of jail for getting in fights at bars all the time because another dude talked to "his" girl.

[lumos]

@Octavius I agree with you.
and @ThatJarHead like I said, being concerned/worried about your girlfriend getting raped by a guy is not jealousy. It's worry. Please don't confuse the two emotions since they have very little to do with one another. And like Octavius said, you can't just assume that every guy who hits on your girlfriend is trying to rape her or otherwise force her into doing something she doesn't want to do. I've said it before and I'll say it again: please stick to the actual discussion. I'm talking about girls who keep rejecting guys who approach. And boyfriends who get jealous of these guys despite that she rejects every single advance. I'm not talking about rape, and I'm not talking about worry or concern. I'm talking about feeling JEALOUS over something extremely petty, despite the fact that your girlfriend has given you absolutely no reason at all to feel that way (constantly rejecting all advances made on her).

[ThatJarHead]

@Octavius This is why I don't drink XD that and the fact that I can't handle liquor... I think I'd just rather not take the risk. I would rather just outright avoid the situation altogether.

[ThatJarHead]

About reject, how would a guy know that she is just rejecting him because her boyfriend is standing right there? I'm not saying that a trust worthy girl would accept if he wasn't just giving a scenario in which your dystopian world opinion is wrong. Your opinion cannot be right because it depicts a world where your statement and theory can't be wrong. That's like me saying "I think with X amount of money and A amount of determination anyone can do the impossible" it's generalized and depicts a world in which my statement cannot be wrong. Therefore used as an official statement of truth or theory it cannot be correct because it can't be wrong. So again, what if you trust the girl and when you aren't around and she accepts? And you don't find out for day/months/years?

[lumos]

@ThatJarHead -_- I think it's pretty obvious when someone is rejected. Usually they/the person who rejected leaves the situation because otherwise it might be awkward. And I think you meant utopian, not dystopian. Also your rambling has nothing to do with this discussion anymore, so byeeee.

[rjroy3]

@lumos

She flirted, but never actually did anything. Had she done something then I would have rejected her. So no, me not rejecting her when she was flirting is not what I did wrong. Because it wasn't an advance. What I did wrong was entrain the behavior at all. So yes, my example stands.

If a guy straight up hits on my girl, yes I trust her to turn the guy down. But if she has that guy friend that is hiding his intentions to weasel his way in, "like many guys do" that is something to be concerned about. Because he will flirt and try to pass it off as something else, all the while getting a rise out of her because she is allowing it to go on and justifying it by calling it something other than what it is.

Yes, I paid attention to what you said. But from your response you really didn't pay attention to what I said. Maybe that's because you were already dealing with that from the other commenters.

[lumos]

@rjroy3 no offense but honestly I don't even give a shit anymore.

[rjroy3]

Good. You kinda jumped me the moment I commented, was dreading "what else does she have to say".

[MaskedSanity]

I never had to say any of those things to my boyfriend because he ACTUALLY trusts me, not the bullshit trust described in your take about how he doesn't trust other guys.

What are they gonna do, rape me?

If there are men that are fantasising about me, it's MY call to tell them to fuck off if they approach, not my boyfriend's place to "protect me" by telling me who I should or shouldn't interact with based on his assessment of said men.

Trust doesn't have "but"s or "unless"es. There's no middle ground here. If your guy constantly checks up on who you're friends with and who he suspects has a thing for you and gets all moody about it, he doesn't flipping trust you. You can try to dress it up in "love" and "protection" all you want, but if you're constantly having to explain yourself to your boyfriend about some dude, either of two things are happening:

1. You are loyal and don't care about other guys, but your boyfriend is trying to tell you who you should look out for ergo doesn't trust you to stay faithful.

2. You ARE a cheating slag who WILL run off with another bloke if given the chance, in which case no amount of "protecting" is gonna change that, she's just gonna be more discrete about it.

Jealousy is not healthy and the way your take is worded promotes overlooking controlling behaviour and undermines the integrity of both men and women in relationships.

[M_A_X]

Yeah, it is your call, but at the same time, how many of these situations would you be comfortable if it was the other way around with your man and some girl?

[MaskedSanity]

@M_A_X

Why do you assume that this same logic wouldn't apply to my boyfriend?

He has female friends and I completely trust him.

[BumbleSuperBee]

This my take was dedicated only to the girls who get annoyed by their jealous bfs. If yours doesn't get jealous at all, then this isn't the place for you to comment.

[MaskedSanity]

It doesn't matter whether it personally applies to me or not. If it's bad advice, I don't need your approval to point it out.

Learn to take criticism like an adult.

[M_A_X]

Sorry, masked sanity, but the OP appears to be one of those thought police girls who are popular because they weed out anything remotely negative for their #safespace

No adult conversations here. Just teens tooting their own horns regardless of what the outside world is like

[rjroy3]

Good myTake for the most part.
I know for me when I'm in a relationship I always say, "I know you have guy friends and that's cool. I have female friends so I get it. But all I can ask is that you avoid situations that could look bad from an outsider looking in. Like if a stranger saw how you acted with eachother, would they think you two are intimate? I'll do the same".

It's completely reasonable to not want your lover flirting with other people. I have to actively switch that off, especially when it's a new relationship because you were single for a good bit and you realize, "hey, I have a girlfriend. I probably shouldn't be as flirtatious with this person as I am right now". It sends the wrong message. To them and to your partner. It would be like me kissing a girl good bye, my girlfriend sees me and I say, "just trust me. I'm not sleeping with her. We just always kiss goodbye. She's been around much longer than you have".

Obviously not quite the same thing, but it's the same idea. Your guy sees you flirting with someone else, appearing quite flirtatious and íntimate and you say, "we're just friends. Just trust me". Can't disregard his feelings in the case.

Some guys really are jealous for nothing tho. This is a topic thy should be spoken about early in a relationship. Most people don't think they have to... until they have to.

[SweedyPie]

Hmmm. This is interesting. From the perspective of a person who had a jealous boyfriend for many many years (8+) it is not as nice as you make it sound. The trusting you and not them thing is wacko. The entire principle of trust in a relationship is based on the fact that each person can handle themselves in any situation that may arise; they would be able to do the right thing if anyone friend or not, made a pass at them. The being playful/ tickling and hugging thing -- Tickling is too far maybe but hugging is a norm. Imagine a boyfriend that got jealous because you hugged someone? My ex was like that and for me it was a sign of major insecurities. Imagine being restricted to hugging only females simply because your boyfriend has a jealousy issue... it was just stupid in my opinion. The part about him caring is a bit crazy to me. That type of so called "caring" is what leads to domestic violence -- just saying. There are a million other ways to show you care, Jealousy should not be one. Jealousy could never be a good thing it leads people to do crazy things as well as inspires mistrust. Jealousy is the reason people are checking each other's emails and phones when their partner is not looking. I have had personal experiences that were super embarrassing and unpleasant with my ex due to his jealousy. And all the while I was completely faithful to him, did not have so much as a thought that went astray... while he was busy being like that. I don not know if you have been through a situation with a jealous boyfriend before but it is far from acceptable. Trust me, if you get a jealous guy... RUN

[WOrtiz13]

Thank you for this post. It caught my eye because I was jealous of my *at the time girlfriend* and her friend who was a guy. She always said that he respected the relationship that she and I shared and that he respected me.

She said that they were "just friends". Do "just friends" go out to dinner just by theirselves? Do "just friends" say "I love you"? Do "just friends" text from good morning to goodnight? Yeah. I saw it coming. Sad thing is that she thought **I** was the problem.

She ended up breaking up with me. Guess who she's dating now...

[BumbleSuperBee]

Oh. God.

[Rcjh1987]

ouch I'm sorry

[WOrtiz13]

She showed me a text from him one time that said "If I find someone else, I'm not going to wait for you". This is while we were dating... Talk about a red flag 😐

Thank you guys for reading. I haven't been in the dating game since. I'm afraid it'll happen again. She was my first girlfriend and that lasted for a year and a half.

[BumbleSuperBee]

Then she doesn't seem worth it.. considering the fact that she's dating a guy like him.

[AvaMarina]

I won't get mad at a guy for simply feeling jealous (unless it's excessive and making him miserable, at which point we need to have a talk), but I get mad if he's trying to control me or guilt me based on that jealousy. My friends were there first, frankly, and if he can't handle the fact that some of them are male, then we shouldn't be dating, because I'm not distancing myself from people precious to me just because he's insecure.

So yeah, I don't blame him for being jealous, but how he acts on it.

[BumbleSuperBee]

True, true..

[Octavius]

Sorry but as a guy and knowing how guy minds work I can tell you that yes the excuses you have for a guys jealousy do occasionally happen but the majority of the time is that they see the girl as a piece of their property and that they don't want other people talking to their property. The girls is a possession of his like his car is a possession of his. He owns it. And that girl is now an "it." He doesn't want anyone else touching it. I know that's no where near as romantic but honestly it is the truth.

[BumbleSuperBee]

... and very exaggerated.

[BumbleSuperBee]

What the hell.. we don't wanna be treated as an "it". Gee.

[Octavius]

I know I'm just saying that is the mentality of a large portion of jealous people.

[PropaneAccessories]

cdn.theatlantic.com/.../theatermove.gif

I just hope that GIF shows up, because that's exactly how I felt while reading this take.

"He trusts you. He doesn't trust them." Now that... that is well put.
I've butt heads with plenty of other guys while in relationships, and that's the one thing my SOs never understood. If I didn't trust them, I wouldn't be dating them. It's the insistent and persistent guys that would be around constantly.

And to some of the girls out there who don't like their boyfriends being jealous...
I honestly think some of you would think differently if they DIDN'T stand up for you. Some of you would think they're weak, and gutless.

[BumbleSuperBee]

Wow, thank you!

[DodgersGM]

I appreciate the spirit that you wrote this Take in (no, really, I do!), but I kinda dislike this notion that you can be super jealous while still trusting your partner. I don't think that adds up.

For me, if my girlfriend had a male friend and he was behaving inappropriately, that would more so bring about feelings of anger and disrespect than jealousy. I'd of course expect my girlfriend to put him in his place - - and I'll even do it myself if need be - - but I'm not gonna get jealous.

[M_A_X]

Yeah, and what if she didn't put him in his place and things just continued as they were? You'd either beat his ass or you'd leave her

[Darklydarkened]

@M_A_X O I had a history teacher back in the day. He said that if you find yourself in situations like fighting or arguing with people over a girl, that means the girl is not a good one. Don't bother and find one whom can provide you a stable thing. Not figts or jelousy.

[BumbleSuperBee]

Thanks, yea, I see your point in this..

[DessieDoo]

I agree with everything in this mytake! However, one of your statements has just made me think of something. A question maybe you could answer for me.
You're dating a guy who has a female friend and even though they have given you no reason to trust their relationship, you still worry. Right? One of your above statements says that every guy has wanted their female friend at least once. Would this give you a reason not to trust it? I've never questioned it before I read your statement above, lol.
But great mytake. I 100% agree!

[BumbleSuperBee]

Depends if they're better looking than me lol :p

And thanks! :D

[DessieDoo]

Lmao good answer!

[Rcjh1987]

Good mytake, I've learned over the years to just cut ties with male friends to avoid such possible flair up when in a relationship I'd rather not deal with possible drama. your list of why girls get jealous made me laugh I think we are all guilty of that once in our lives.

[BumbleSuperBee]

Haha xD

[hellosweetie49525]

This is actually very true and think more girls should understand this! FYI love your last gif😁 awesome lol! Love your take, great read, thanks for writing it up 😉 I get jelouse very really but I know not to control who my boyfriend can and cannot talk to its a free world. So if I can talk to other guys, than he can talk to other girls. Jealousy is a part of life.

[BumbleSuperBee]

Thanks!

[hellosweetie49525]

NP ;)

[Rainie_]

My ex friends with benefits got really jealous about everything even though we were not in a relationship. When I talk to another guy he gets irritated and asks if Im going home with them tonight and I always say no, when I text someone he immediately assumes its my ex and gets mad at me. And I asked him what do you really want. And he said he didn't want a relationship. I just, no, in the end I just couldn't deal. He was so possessive, and all just so he could have sex with me, and be the only one cause he wanted it to be "exclusively just us" which is basically a relationship. And I honestly could care less about who he was with or talking to. Overly jealous guys is not cool. Just a tiny bit is fine but jesus man, sometimes it gets too much. But most of the time its because they are insecure and yes he admitted to it in the end.

Anyhow, that gif tho 😍😍😍

[BumbleSuperBee]

În this case, you're right. When there's no serious relationship, then I'm on the girls' side.

I knooow! <3

[Darklydarkened]

This is actually not exactly true about men. First of all, most men get jelous over girls they don't really care about. Do you really think jelousy is only about of them caring about their girl? Believe me it is not.

The thing is, when you have a girl, as a men you have an instinct to eliminate all competition, it's an evolutionary thing. Back in the day, this was necessary for survival of the genes.

Anyway, in men jelousy is an instinct about protecting their title of being a woman's man. It's not directly because of caring about them.

[sluggognatface]

Wise man for 23

[Darklydarkened]

@sluggognatface Thanks, and I really don't understand this 'I trust you, but not them' crap. What is that supposed to mean. You either implying that you think your girlfriend is honest but he can trick her to something which means that you think she's stupid.

Or means that all men are dangerous to women which means you're stupid.

[sluggognatface]

Yup either stupid or secretly a cheater.

[Mekkalyn]

I think the "I trust you, but not them" means that you trust your partner, but you don't trust that her guy friend doesn't like her. I don't know about you, but I would be very uncomfortable if my boyfriend was around a girl that liked him, even though I know he would never do anything and would turn her down if she made a move. It basically just means that you don't want your partner to be around someone that likes them. I'd feel more comfortable with my boyfriend being around other women if they were taken, because then I'd know they didn't have feelings for my boyfriend. Again, not because I don't trust him, but just because I don't like the idea of him being put into a situation like that, and I don't like the idea of anyone else liking him. It's not necessary about them actually *doing* anything wrong, but just the principle behind it. I hope that makes sense.

[Darklydarkened]

@Mekkalyn But you can't control that. What if a lady on the street just stares and finds your boyfriend attractive?

[WhatTheHellAmy]

That last gif <3

and this is why sometimes I'm happy for being single, I can have as many guy friends as I want lol

[Evil_romantic]

Being considered chattle property doesn't sound all that appealing.

[WhatTheHellAmy]

@Evil_romantic exactly

[Evil_romantic]

This mytake is weirding me out lol, first time ever i blasted a women for not being enough of a feminist.

I might get called a male feminist or white knight, or one of those dirty words lol

I dont even care. I'm a fierce individualist, and could never accept this sort of servitude!

[BumbleSuperBee]

Hahaha I know right xD
Totally agree!

[WhatTheHellAmy]

@Evil_romantic amen to that!

[WhatTheHellAmy]

@BumbleSuperBee

Yeah, too much drama XD

[Albina_Lovely]

Thanks, unlike this situation, my boyfriend doesn't get jealous and he is fine with me hanging out with guys. We are in a distance relationship but he trusts me :) It was nice to read this and helps a bit understanding situations.

[BumbleSuperBee]

Thank youu! I'm glad you have this relationship with ur boyfriend :)

[Albina_Lovely]

Thanks. but it is healthy to have trust and jealousy between each other whether ur in a distant relationship or not. about a year before I used to wish that my boyfriend would be a bit more jealousy sometimes to show that i'm his woman but now that i read this, i'm kinda happy about how we are :)

[BumbleSuperBee]

That's good! <3

[genuinlysensitive]

"He trusts you. He doesn't trust them." You hit it head on! If I didn't trust her, I wouldn't be dating her!

FYI the "over exaggerated" things you mentioned are sometimes not so over exaggerated.

[BumbleSuperBee]

Lol, I didn't wanna make girls see how pathetic they could be at times xp

[genuinlysensitive]

Its not pathetic, but it is hurtful to the relationship.

[sdistotallyme]

Some girls will "test" guys on this one. They will purposely put themselves in a position where they know other guys are likely to hit on them and they want to see how their boyfriend reacts. With all due respect that ladies, that's not "being cute" it's complete bullshit. I realize not all of you do that, but I have had exes in the past who had.

[RedThread]

Honestly I can't stand jealousy no matter which gender does it. It's a petty emotion that shows that we are insecure in our own appeal or the trustworthiness of our partners. That's all jealousy is.

[lumos]

Yaaaaasss slay mama etc

[Pat8707]

Jealousy in the emotional sense is a natural thing. It becomes petty when you let is get the best of you.

[RedThread]

@Pat8707 right it's quite natural to feel it but it's wrong when we let irrational feelings control our behavior

@lumos I figured I had to do more than just give you support in comments ;p

[jacquesvol]

@RedThread My opinion too. This take fails to point at the insecurities at the root of jealousy (male or female).

[MaskedSanity]

Here here.

Way too many insecure people nodding their heads to terrible advice.

[RedThread]

@MaskedSanity thanks for the endorsement.

[M_A_X]

It sounds like you'd be down for seeing you wife with another man. Not everyone is comfortable with that lol

[RedThread]

@M_A_X Lol what the hell? Hell no!

[wethepeople87]

When i was a much younger man i seen no point in getting jealous. To me it was a waste of time and energy. Now 41 i see many young adult couples and the young lady boyfriend looks at me with anger. Just cause his girlfriend smiles at me and i smile back. Im laughing on the inside cause i see he's very insucure. I learned if you and your bf/gf have trust there is no room for jealousy.

[sluggognatface]

Exactly
.,.,.,.

[ccp16]

I would never date a woman who expects me to be their warden, I don't believe in constant texting contact or distrusting every guy she has met as a potential rapist- which is what you and others are basically saying if you 'trust your girl, but not HIM'...

I want a strong independent woman, not some relationship where we have to keep tabs on each other...

you are mixing up jealousy with caring and even worse with possessiveness- which to me is a huge indicator of a lack of confidence.