How to stop being so toxic

[RedRobin]

We hear people saying we should cut out any toxic people in our lives all the time BUT we're never told how to stop being toxic. If you've come to the realisation that you're a toxic person and it's time to change then here are a few things you can do to start moving forward.

Let go of unneeded and unwanted pain and loss: Often letting go is the healthiest path forward no matter how tightly we want to hold onto whatever (past or present) it is that's caught our attention. To clear out toxic thoughts from the past and the pain they bring, you’ve got to emotionally free yourself from the things that meant a lot to you. Even if it takes weeks or even months of venting to close friends and family or to your journal about the same issue, it's worth it in the end!

Abandon negativity: It’s very hard to be around people who hang onto negativity. These people stubbornly refuse to see the positive side of life and the positive lessons they could learn. Wallowing in a pool of negativity is a place NOONE wants to be and you can climb out with a bit of patience and time.

Stop hiding the truth about yourself: It’s hard to connect with someone who’s constantly hiding behind a false façade. No matter who you are, behind that gorgeous face you are pure and beautiful. We each have a light to shine, and challenges to conquer. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath and slow down or take a walk in the park. Don’t chance who you are but improve who you are.

Quit taking everything so personally: People who believe that everything occurring around them is a direct attack on their personality or is somehow all about them are also toxic to be around. Fortunately, 99% of the time what people say and do is more about them then you. Whether they love you or hate you, it’s more about them then you. I'm not saying we should overlook all input; I am stating that most pain and frustration in our lives originate from our taking things personally. Like I’ve already stated it’s usually healthier to let go of others opinions of you and use your own instincts to guide you.

Stop acting like you’re always a victim: Persistently complaining about the world around you and how little influence you have tends to fuel a victim mentality. Assuming that you have no control over your own life is a lethal position to be stuck in. When you quit complaining, and decline to consider yourself to be a destitute victim, you'll see that you have more control than you comprehended, you only have to acknowledge this reality.

Quit making shallow judgments about others: Don’t judge a book by its cover. What someone initially shows you is usually a reflection of their inner world. Unfortunately, when someone tries to tear you down it’s usually because they are suffering. Don’t try to punish them, try to help them and if they don’t want help, move on.

This was my first myTake so I hope you enjoyed reading it.

[martyfellow]

Good advice but 'easier said than done' for people who have had terrible experiences that CAUSE them to feel they are victims, that CAUSE them
to view life in a negative way...

[martyfellow]

People need a lot of help, they can't just stop viewing life negatively...
Thanks for the upvote Robin!

[RedRobin]

Yes, that's true. In that case it might be a good idea to ask a friend or family member to help because chances are they probably have a bit of healing to do too.

[thetundrawolf]

I like it. How do I favorite this?

[RedRobin]

I don't think you can follow myTakes or questions anymore. Hopefully they change it back.

[thetundrawolf]

Well that sucks. I thank you for offering this wonderful, wise advice :3

[RedRobin]

You're welcome

[Anonymous]

Great myTake !!!

[RedRobin]

Thanks 😊

[_Zara_]

Nice take :)

[RedRobin]

Thanks

[_Zara_]

Thanks for MHO

[RedRobin]

No problem

[serp777]

Abandon negativity? No. More like use negativity in moderation. If you're always positive and uplifting that would get old and annoying fast. There are cases to be negative too like when you need to criticize behaviors you don't like in other people. Also shallow judgments are shown to have a relatively high degree of reliability--its why humans evolved it in the first place. Its an effective initial tool that allows you to make an educated guess on how to deal with someone based on the information they're initially showing you.

[RedRobin]

Criticising behaviour you don't like isn't necessarily negative though, it's just a way of teaching people how to treat you.

[serp777]

sure it is. You're bashing someone else in an attempt to get them to act better. Most people think criticism is negative too.

[RedRobin]

I guess it can depend on how you word it too though.

[Questionizer]

Couldn't agree with take more. I used to be very negative and cynical. I was always a victim... boohoo me! I'm glad I'm no longer that negative person I used to be. I'm a whole new person and I am frankly ashamed of myself when I look back at what I used to be.

[RedRobin]

Thank you :), congrats on making the change its never easy

[Questionizer]

Thank you!

[Alexei_Ustinov]

I like this take! Very well put together and something to really take to heart! I know I could benefit from taking heed from some of what you said on here! Good job!

[RedRobin]

Thanks 😊

[Anonymous]

"Stop acting like you’re always a victim."

This ^^

And as you eluded to, people need to stop taking offense at everything. It's part of the whole entitlement mentality ("I am entitled to not be offended"), which is part of the liberal political correctness mindset.

[RedRobin]

Thanks for reading

[ObscuredBeyond]

But what if you really are a victim? What if they're tearing you down because they're sadistic?

[RedRobin]

It's ok to be the victim then, it's just when someone plays the victim in every little situation

[RedRobin]

I mean that if you do really badly in a test don't complain that the marker was unfair or the test was too hard and/or you're not smart enough, look at where you can improve for the next test and work on those areas.

[ObscuredBeyond]

I was talking about toxic work environments, where coworkers will approach you and pretend to be your friend, but will then make stuff up about you and turn management against you behind your back, stirring up trouble for the hell of it and taking joy from seeing how many coworkers they can get fired while they play the management for suckers.

Because I'm dealing with that right now. I have one sympathetic manager that wants my take on what's going on at that store. I've witnessed enough stuff to expose a hornet's nest that could practically cause a civil war at that grocery store.

Meanwhile, the store director refuses to hear my take on anything, preferring to assume that if my psychotic rival says something about me, it must be true.

[RedRobin]

Ah, ok, that went over my head. Sorry you're going through that, unfortunately I know what it's like. A couple of years ago there was a really manipulative coworker at my part time job. He always slacked off and convinced a few other coworkers and my boss I hated him so my boss was always against me and was pressuring me to do more work then I could handle during each shift. He also took most of the shifts and refused to give any up even though he had another full time job too so when I needed more hours there weren't any available. Fortunately he ended up getting fired because my boss eventually saw through what was going on, he got away with it for way too long though.

You could stick it out until your coworker leaves but if that doesn't seem likely or you feel like it's affecting your mental health I think it's best to find a new job. If you decide to stick it out for a bot longer, try to keep a record of everything that goes on, it'll give you a bit of psychological relief.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Thanks. Yeah, I'm fuming mad at the guy right now. Every time a gal and I start liking each other, he somehow always finds out. And then he sticks himself right in the middle of it. Makes it his business. Sabotages every single friendship with a woman that I get. Every single one. Gals that I got along with great, suddenly hate me after he has just one conversation with them. Which makes me awfully curious what he's telling them. And now thanks to him, the store director thinks it's his business to butt in to my love life and pretty much ensure that I will never get to keep a gal as a friend - let alone ever get a date.

[Todiebyyourside]

I like this, great take and from an Australian! Shock, horror!

[RedRobin]

I'm actually not Australian :/ sorry

[Todiebyyourside]

I figured as much, I figured as much.

[Anonymous]

Thank you.
I think some things on this myTake may be correct with me, so I will try to fix myself to become a bit of a more pleasurable being.

[RedRobin]

Thanks :)

[Anonymous]

I love this. Great and to the point. I think a lot of us needed this too.

[RedRobin]

Thanks 😊, I hope it reaches someone who needs to hear it

[JustinX9]

I'm always playing the victim and the victim

[RedRobin]

If you are the victim, it's completely fine to act like you're the victim. Like I explained on someone else's opinion "I meant that if you do really badly in a test don't complain that the marker was unfair or the test was too hard and/or you're not smart enough, look at where you can improve for the next test and work on those areas."

If you're really the victim try to take note of everything that goes on, it'll help you cope with what pure going through.

[RedRobin]

* you're

[JustinX9]

Well the only way to get high marks is to study... easier than getting pretty girls lol

[Anonymous]

I don't know why but I can't let go of this girl.

[RedRobin]

👍🏻👍🏻