3 Reasons Why Having A Boyfriend Won't Solve All Your Problems (Despite What My Friends Think)

[jkk523]

If you're single, and you're anything like my friends, I know what you're thinking. "How could anything in your life be wrong? You have a boyfriend! All of the things must be right in your world, yeah?"

Now riddle me this: how could I possibly have the audacity to say that having a boyfriend doesn't solve all of my problems?

1. All Aboard The Magic Strugglebus

Having a boyfriend means that I have to magically divide my time between my job, my family, my gal pals, myself, my Netflix, and my man bae. But guess what? My Hogwarts letter got lost in the mail. Carving out time for another VIP means taking time away from everything else, because only Hermione gets to magically turn back time.

2. Seriously Though, Two's A Crowd

I used to have all of this awesome "me" time to be impulsive, hit that happy hour, accidentally watch the entire Gilmore Girls box set, or even — dare I say it — stay in tip top shape. But since I'm in a relationship now, I have to factor in a not-so-matching set of his & her's wants and needs. And if I'm feeling guilty about my boyfriend adapting more to my life than I am to his, I'll probably put being selfish on the backburner. My mates think that having a partner in crime would be the most fabulous thing ever, but truthfully, it can feel a bit suffocating – especially if you're independent like me. I mean, we all need a lil' space to get weird solo, amirite?

3. Boredom Is Definitely Still A Thing

Just because I have a boyfriend doesn't mean that my life is now a constant roller coaster ride of fun. Sure, it can be, but my man is also human – which means that sometimes he has nothing to say, and often he'll fall asleep within 5 minutes of every damn movie we watch together. Sometimes he's literally just 200 pounds of dead weight, snoring like a beast on my couch. Only the movies make it look cute. I am simply not trained in bear taming, nor moving said bear from the couch to his den. Hard pass.

Now don't get me wrong here... I really do love my SO and I wouldn't trade him for single-dom any day. But when it comes to boyfriends, I unfavorably believe that the grass is hardly greener on the other side. In fact, I'd probably color it jaded!

Wifed up women of GaG - am I really the only one who feels this way?

[Starfishlover]

I am dating someone now and let me tell you, it is a REAL struggle. I admit, I thought having a boyfriend would be awesome and it is. But just in regards to your second point, it is extremely annoying that I have to do things that I don't want to do just because he likes it and having to drive 45 minutes to see him at least 3 times a week -.-

[YusiBear]

static.comicvine.com/.../4075053-confused.gif
Ask for some alone time, get a hobby... it's not that difficult lol

[Darkfairie17]

I agree with you. Having a partner is not going to solve all of someone's problems. I think that's the problem with a lot of relationships. People think that if they have a partner, their lives will be the best and nothing can bring them down. But people are human, and people can disappoint you.

A partner may not be the best toward the other person and they may let them down. For instance, a partner may ignore you when you need them the most (ie. Death of a friend or loved one or even pet).

Bad things happen to people despite being in a relationship. When I was dating my ex, I lost my job. That was pretty devastating. And he never gave me words of encouragement after either. I'm kind of glad we are not together. I got more love and support from my family than I ever received from him.

I know there are lots of guys out there who are amazing, supportive partners. But not every person is going to be.

I think it's unrealistic to expect life to be perfect after finding a partner. It actually does become harder in some aspects because now instead of one person there are two people who create the dynamic of the relationship. So in any situation, there are two influences and reactions.

[pdxgirl]

There is SO much truth in this. And the problem with movies is that they are literally only showing you a glamorized version of the best parts of any relationship, and when they are still new and fresh so everyone is madly head over heels in love and on their best behavior. Real relationships take effort everyday, and are in itself a job. You get out of it what you put into it. And to people that say "you're not in the right relationship if you feel it's work" well I'm not going to date 50 different people just to find mister right. Sometimes you find a great guy but he isn't perfect, but then again no one is. What if you give up something great because you feel like you can find something better but then there isn't ever something better out there for you? I just don't think the grass is always greener on the other side.

[Mustachekitteh]

Honestly if you don't have a life outside of your boyfriend. That's a really unhealthy relationship. You don't have to sacrifice everything you love just because your with someone. That's just stupid to think that.

Honestly it sounds like you need to tell your SO to hit the road. That you rather spend more time on yourself than with them. That they are just dragging you down.

If I saw my boyfriend write something like that. It would honestly hurt me and feel like they hate being with me. Even if they said they love being with me I wouldn't believe them at all after reading something like that. You need to have a serious talk with them.

[bomba78]

funny :-D

that's the thing, relationships consist of 2 independent people coming together. If it will work out depends on the set ground rules and the will to compromise.
A good relationship should and will never feel suffocating. It will always be a "plus" in your life.
Both need to keep their circle of friends, both need to attend to their hobbies, both have the right to "alone time".
Sometimes we do stuff because THEY like it, sometimes they do stuff because WE like it. Give and take. Work as a team and respect each other.

The thing that annoys me is the fact that my fiance somehow never has any clean socks... he is always kidnapping mine, leaving me with the sock problem... other than that I have no complaints :-D

[Milyey]

I agree with the whole "me time" and boredom idea.
I guess you just have to set boundaries. Have two separate lives from each other. I've realized my relationship is so healthy because we have reasonable space between our own lives. He has his hobbies that he does alone, and I have mine.. that's how we like it and that's how it can work so well between us.

Sure, if youve been in a relationship for a long time, you get bored easily. The things you used to do like movies and ice cream, or hanging out with the same groups together, get old. But you can spice it up easily.
Go on a trip together, somewhere neither of you have been, be active, be outdoors. Start new little traditions with each other, find a hobby you can do together, giving you two some new comin ground.
Be creative! A relationship is special. It has it's ups and downs and can be totally stressful, but at the end of the day, having someone you truly care about and who truly cares about you, is an amazing feeling.

[Southerngal10]

It's like I could have written this! I so agree 100% with what you said. I love my boyfriend too. Been together 4 years now. I am very independent too and with all the time juggling, loss of 'me' time and compromises I can definitely say being relationship does not fix our problems. It creates new struggle, at least for me it has.

[oddwaffle]

I somewhat agree with this. You have 24 hours a day, 80 summers of fun and a whole of to time dedicated into finding you car keys, so you have limited resources. The important thing is to allocate that limited resources in such a way to give you the most out of your life.

Don't like your mom complaining about your lack of a family? Get an "imaginary boyfriend". For a low fee, you can put all the troubles of finding and keeping a boyfriend to please your family to rest.

Want more 'me' time? Stop seeing other people.

You are free to do what you want within your limits.

[9mfeo]

You're right, of course. People tend to forget that relationships take work and that life goes on when you have an SO. If you were having a hard time before getting into a relationship, you're probably still going yo have a hard time *in* the relationship because nothing has really changed. Relationships aren't a cure-all and can make things worse, especially if you use them as a crutch.

[KelBel000]

Sorry I'm on your friends side. Being independentand knowing who you are single is great! But like me wwho's been single for solo long it gets lonelyisome and tired being single tthere's definitely benefits of having someone always there for you. Pretty sure too much lonleyness oncauses Depressi

[Anonymous]

I know I am tired of girls asking me if I have a boyfriend. Then looking at me as if I have 3 heads for being single. I have accepted I will be single forever. I really don't understand why girls think it is everything to have a man. I used to think it was everything to have someone because I was tired of being single. I have gotten used to be alone. Great take by the way.

[Opinion Owner]

I need to learn to love myself. I am not dating an emotionally abusive guy just so I am not single. My self esteem cannot get any lower.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

But who is gonna... enjoy these oysters and yours?
www.stylescastle.com/.../...2ae56ce6ce04108e7d.gif
Check and mate.

[Azara]

I can't believe anyone would seriously;y think a boyfriend or girlfriend would solve anything other than having a boyfriend or girlfriend. and even then, not really bc something can always change.

[Stephen10]

So what's the other option, remain bitter, single, and lonely for the rest of your life? Duh!

[Octavius]

How are single people going to get their boyfriends to give them shoulder and back massages if they're single?

Checkmate...

[Queen_naki5]

And a foot rub...

[Octavius]

@Queen_naki5 Now you've just gone too far...

[Queen_naki5]

Lol if you say so...

[idkwtftoputhere]

what, I thought relationships just created problems

[Jockfulcrop]

They won't solve all the problems because they'll cause the problems

[Anonymous]

Girls who do that stuff can't ever be single. Soon as one man is gone they are unhappy til the next one comes along. It's not healthy.
Most of them anyway.

[VampireEmpress]

where did u find that last gif with the little girl? so adorable!

[Anonymous]

What kind of friends do you have? Lmao none of my girl friends think having a man will solve all their problems

[Anonymous]

I always looked down on those girls who could not live without a man even temporarily. No independence, no backbone.