Here is my version of the why you don't have a partner yet take inspired by this one.
Since the other one is aimed at men ill aim this one at girls. And yes, this one is written from a geeks perspective. If other men have a different list feel free to share yours in the comments.
1. You are not making an effort to approach us.
Lets face it girls, the media and Twitter have had quite a destructive effect on our dating climate. If a minority of girls abuse their power to get a flirting guy in trouble and this is reported on it will make men less likely to risk it. Meanwhile the men that do approach you might not be the kind of men you are looking for. And that cute guy in the corner you where hoping would ever approach you may not have noticed you or may not think you'd be interested in him in the first place. Guys tend to be friendly when approached so it never hurts to go to your crush and ask him out or admit your feelings. Not all men are natural leaders and even if we are we can appreciate the gesture and at worst will turn you down politely. But most likely take you up on the offer if we are interested. The social fabric of men being the initiators doesn't work as effective anymore, so go approach them!
2. You are making an effort to be as attractive as you can be, but you are not making an effort to be as approachable as you can be.
Yes, we know. You love to dress up and be pretty! We love that to and will definitely appreciate the effort especially on a date. Its going to have a positive effect on more mainstream men especially those who are experienced approaches or a man that is already chasing you. So if you want a guy to approach you for your looks, if you want that confident guy or a one night stand? Go for it! Want to be as pretty as you can be for the guy that already has his eyes on you? Certainly go for it! But what if that is not what you want? What if you want a guy to approach you because of you and not just because of your looks. What if you are attracted to the more introverted or geeky men? Or perhaps a man who shares the passion you share. These men aren't going to approach you because you look beautiful, they'd assume you are into other things than they are and just don't fit them. To these men being approachable is way more important than being dressed up and having your make-up in order. Make sure to go to places where these guys hang around, or do things or wear things that express what you enjoy around your co-workers. Love movies? Talk about a movie with them or wear a shirt in public from your favorite movie or music. Love games? Talk about games or wear a shirt indicating you love games. Perhaps cosplay if that is more your thing.
You will notice men tend to have a passion for what they do and talk about it constantly, the easiest way for you to be approached is to make sure they know you are into these things to. It gives them easy conversation fuel to approach you and ask you out on a date doing the thing you both love to do. I got a real life example of this at a client. There was a new employee who i'd find moderately attractive, she didn't stand out to me since there where prettier girls at that office. But then i learned she was into the same things as me and suddenly my entire focus shifted, she was now the girl i wanted out of all these girls. Because i knew she'd perfectly fit me. Its how you can very effectively shift focus of the type of guy you wish to attract.
Heck, even something as silly as wearing a "Film nerd looking for a boyfriend" shirt would probably do wonders in a train station rather than blending in with the crowd. But keep in mind some to obvious forms might be a little to effective and attract the wrong men haha.
Going to places where the men are that you wish to attract also works wonders.
3. You do not offer something we want and need in our family lives while another girl does.
This point sparked a bit of controversy recently but is genuinely 100% true.
You can NOT be a full time career women and expect a men to earn more than you, he is not going to be interested in you if he has a full time career. He doesn't need you to earn money he needs a loving mom for his children since he will be at work all week.
Personally i have a career path that is just going to demand me to be present and even do stand-by duties. I can't easily get a part time job so i won't be able to easily split the chores or take care of the children during the week. So i need a girl who would ideally look after the family, not a career women who aims to earn a lot of money and be independent from me. Because if we are both focused on career who takes care of the other aspects of our family?
If you wish to pursue a career part time you will have to ensure you can find a guy who can also easily get a part time job and then split the family and work life among yourself. Or you'd have to find a guy who is fine sending the children to daycare every day. Or perhaps a guy who is willing to raise the children while you work. But what you should not aim to do is seek a career men if you are a career women if he has a desire that you look after his family. The gender roles have never gone away, only the concept its exclusively one gender has gone away. The roles still exist and you'd need to find a balance that works for the couple. And in the cases of successful men that will likely mean you need to take care of the household for him as that is something he will not be able to do himself.
4. You are focused on the wrong things in your 20's.
This point is mostly a warning since undoubtedly there are some ladies who are currently incredibly focused on studying rather than finding a partner. Men prefer younger women, women prefer older men. So you are competing with the girls that are younger than you. Meanwhile you are racing against your biological clock. That means that if you wait until your 30's your options will be significantly smaller than in your 20's. Because a 30 year old man could date a girl in her 20's while a 30 year old women will probably not be able to find a man in his 20's and at the same time men in their 30's will likely have found their partner already or otherwise be able to opt for younger women.
I am not saying you will never find a partner in your 30's or that it is to late.
But i am saying you should focus on dating in your 20's if you still can because you will have a lot more options.
5. Your dating profile sucks!
It is really sad how many dating profiles i have seen that are absolute garbage, there are plenty of pretty and sometimes outright beautiful girls that ruined their profile by having a terrible profile text, or put a terrible filter on her picture that obscures her looks.
Your profile should tell us who you are and what you are looking for. I have literally seen a profile of a girl exclusively writing that she is an absolute grammar nazi (Her words not mine) and you don't even have to bother approaching if you can't write a proper sentence structure.
Yes, that was it. Her entire text. And i imagine she got little to no replies since she changed it now, to "I don't react to winks or profiles without a picture" which is equally terrible.
Sure she is pretty but why would we approach her if all she does is complain about what she doesn't want? Rather than give us a reason to approach her.
So anyone dating make sure you :
- Have an attractive picture that resembles you.
- Make sure you show in a picture who you are and what you like to do.
- Have a description describing a bit about yourself as an individual.
- Include in the description what kind of stuff you like to talk about and do.
- Include in the description what kind of men you are looking for and what you expect from them.
That way the guys that fit you will know this and approach you and the guys that don't will be less likely to try making your whole online dating experience a lot more fun than if only the desperate men approach you who can't afford to ignore you because of your profile text or genuinely mostly care about your looks.
Girls, I hope this MyTake gave some insight from my perspective of where i think girls are making it harder than necessary to be approached by us. Be yourself, but know that being the prettiest girl in the room is much harder than being the most desirable girl in the room for the guy that fits you so express who you are and what you like openly so he can take notice.
Guys, (Especially those that do frequently approach women) do you agree with my list? Or are there different points i missed or perhaps points that are not relevant to you at all? Share it in the comments.