[Romantic And Sexual] Relationships Are NOT A Necessity NOR Are They As Valuable As You Might Think They Are!

[astrOnaut01]

This MyTake is going to be quite different from my other two space-themed articles and shorter, although I am working on another one in the background. This article is going to be on the popular notion that we need a relationship in our lives, otherwise there is no point in being alive or that you are someow less valuable as a person. I'm going to try my best to dispel this belief as it is quite annoying and destructive.

"I'll never lose my virginity/I'll never get a partner"

What's the rush? You can still live a fulfilling life without losing your virginity or having a romantic relationship ever. Chances are, if you are thinking this way then you are too young to be placing your value on whether or not you are in a relationship. You most likely have your education to worry about. Anyway, placing such a high value on the concept of virginity/whether or not you have a partner is counter-productive to your goal; Desparation has an awful smell, and nobody likes smelly people.

"I can't afford to be selective"

Of course you can. Anyone can, being in a relationship is not "expensive" in and of itself. I understand that for a lot of people, their dating pool is limited (due to low population density, being physically unattractive, lacking social skills etc) but I don't understand how that gives you any less of a reason to be as selective as you please. Everyone deserves what they want in a partner don't they? You don't have to go through pointless, awkward relationships if you don't want to.

I think the trouble here is that most people, especially in the teens, don't think too highly of themselves, so they feel they have to endure bullshit because they deserve it and/or it is the only relationship they can "afford" since they are in poverty, so to speak.

"Having a girlfriend/boyfriend would motivate me to better myself"

Being this dependant is quite unhealthy. People tend to find people this dependant annoying, clingy and childish. This motivation that you think can only come from a relationship, is already inside of you. Usually the people who don't find this kind of person unnattractive, are equally as dependant on relationships. If you can't be self-sufficient then I advise that you don't even bother looking for serious relationships, mainly for your own sanity.

[Anonymous]

""I'll never lose my virginity/I'll never get a partner"
What's the rush? You can still live a fulfilling life without losing your virginity or having a romantic relationship ever. Chances are, if you are thinking this way then you are too young to be placing your value on whether or not you are in a relationship. You most likely have your education to worry about. Anyway, placing such a high value on the concept of virginity/whether or not you have a partner is counter-productive to your goal; Desparation has an awful smell, and nobody likes smelly people."

So this take was clearly for teenagers or young adults. But LOTS of older people think these things. You say it like it will happen for a person one day but the fact is some people will be lonely and never feel love or affection their entire lives. There is not someone out there for everyone and it won't "happen" to everyone.

You're only 18 try being a 34 year old that's never been in any relationship. It's not the same as when you're 18.

[astrOnaut01]

Exactly, this is for young adults/teenagers.

The message of this article is: You will be much happier if you be content with your lack of relationship, and as a by-product of being content with that, you will be more likely to get a relationship.

From reading your comment, it seems you could have done with that advice earlier in your life.

[JulieSky]

it doesn't matter how old you are... why is a relationship and all this sex so important? best to be careful than to be with teh wrong person... emotional/mental problems are on the rise... i have a friend who is a doctor and she was dating a doctor as well... he used to beat her every day telling her he had a better specialty... her mother was urging her to get married to him even though the relationship was abusive... they ended it... why? because she landed in the hospital. not ever relationhsip is bad or abusive, but it's OK to be single.

[CancerianMan81]

how do you know the life of a 34 yo

[CancerianMan81]

and what right do you have to tell other people what they want in their life

[Opinion Owner]

@CancerianMan81 "and what right do you have to tell other people what they want in their life"

Who did I tell that they have to want something?

[Opinion Owner]

@JulieSky Have you been single for your entire 25 years of life?

[CancerianMan81]

your whole comment says it

[Opinion Owner]

@CancerianMan81 I didn't tell them how to live I said that some will be lonely. Those two types of comments are even remotely similar.

[CancerianMan81]

"I'll never lose my virginity/I'll never get a partner"
What's the rush? You can still live a fulfilling life without losing your virginity or having a romantic relationship ever. Chances are, if you are thinking this way then you are too young to be placing your value on whether or not you are in a relationship. You most likely have your education to worry about. Anyway, placing such a high value on the concept of virginity/whether or not you have a partner is counter-productive to your goal. That's telling someone what to do and your not convincing me other wise

[CancerianMan81]

being 18 and being 34 has nothing to do with it and people are going to do what they want to do rather if their 18 or 34 or 50

[astrOnaut01]

@CancerianMan81 Dude, that is my comment he is quoting and I was not telling people how to live their lives. I'm telling the reader that they do not need a relationship as much as they most likely think they do.

[CancerianMan81]

regardless they can think for themselves that's what I'm getting at

[CancerianMan81]

I'm not saying that it's nice that you're doing that cause it is I'm just pointing out the obvious

[astrOnaut01]

@CancerianMan81 Yes, obviously people can think for themselves. I never said or implied they couldn't.

[CancerianMan81]

well alright then

[JulieSky]

I have just breathed a sigh of relief. THANK YOU FOR THIS ARTICLE! I've been saying/thinking this forever! So many women especially think they feel complete only with a man, but the truth is, those who fly solo sometimes have the strongest wings! Be happy!

[JulieSky]

so many peopel develop insecurites and psychological/mental problems because of relational abuse. THis is not necessary! validate yourself!

[theegreat017]

You're right. But, studies show that people who werw married or had a long relationship lived longer than others, i guess it is human tendency (or say, tendency of any animal) to have a mate

[astrOnaut01]

@theegreat017 Perhaps that is because the single people who were part of the study had the idea that relationships are a necessity and that there is no reason to take care of yourself without one.

I'm going to have a look at these studies.

[theegreat017]

Your partner cares more, and makes you go to the doc, and you dont due. That's how simple it can get.

[astrOnaut01]

@theegreat017 Why is it that you absolutely need a partner to be able to properly take care of yourself though? If you really do need to depend on someone then you have friends and family who care for you, right?

Also, could you link me to some of those studies, I can't seem to find them.

[BeautifulMind59]

@theegreat017 like

[Alleric]

"Those who fly solo have the strongest wings". That's probably one of the most depressing things I've ever heard. Just tell yourself whatever makes you feel better. I'm guessing you're a used up party girl who's surrounded by cats and can't get a guy to commit.

[JulieSky]

@Alleric No, i'm a successful physician. my parents are both physicians.

[CancerianMan81]

wrong cause I use to think being independent was healthy when it's not you can't be independent cause you have to many mistakes in life and only depending on yourself makes it harder for you to keep up with life before you know it you become stuck between a rock and a hard place after it's all done you don't have anybody there to help you out

[CancerianMan81]

you can't fit love and independence in the same category cause love isn't one sided

[astrOnaut01]

That is just the way you feel. Furthermore, there is friends and family you can turn to for emotional support. When I say "independent" I don't mean "stoic".

[CancerianMan81]

you can't if their one sided

[CancerianMan81]

and pain isn't something that is healthy either so your wrong on both counts

[CancerianMan81]

and that kind of pain can leave you mentally screwed up in the head cause it will leave you to where you don't know weather your coming or going

[astrOnaut01]

I think you are misunderstanding me, mate.

[CancerianMan81]

no I don't

[astrOnaut01]

Well, you obviously are. I've stated that I don't intend to confuse being "stoic" for being "independent", but you seemed to ignore that where you seem to assume I said pain is healthy (don't know where you got that from).

Also, could you elaborate on your "love isn't one sided" comment? I'm not sure what you mean by that.

[CancerianMan81]

what do you think stoic means

[CancerianMan81]

sto·ic
ˈstōik/
noun
1.
a person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or complaining.
2.
a member of the ancient philosophical school of Stoicism.
adjective
1.
another term for stoical.
2.
of or belonging to the Stoics or their school of philosophy.

[CancerianMan81]

in·de·pend·ent
ˌindəˈpendənt/Submit
adjective
1.
free from outside control; not depending on another's authority.
"the study is totally independent of central government"
synonyms: freethinking, free, individualistic; unconventional, maverick, bold, unconstrained, unfettered, untrammeled
"an independent spirit"
2.
not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence.
"I wanted to remain independent in old age"
synonyms: self-sufficient, self-supporting, self-reliant, standing on one's own two feet
"her grown-up, independent children"
noun
1.
an independent person or body.

[CancerianMan81]

that's where one sided comes from

[CancerianMan81]

both of those can fall under the same category

[astrOnaut01]

I think "stoic" means exactly the same as the definition you just pulled up. Now point me to where I said "pain is healthy, be stoic".

[CancerianMan81]

I didn't say you said pain I said pain I was saying it because it said in the word stoic you didn't hear me say that you said pain

[astrOnaut01]

"and pain isn't something that is healthy either so your wrong on both counts"

"and that kind of pain can leave you mentally screwed up in the head cause it will leave you to where you don't know weather your coming or going"

[CancerianMan81]

the words out of my mouth didn't say that you said pain if I did I would have said you said pain

[CancerianMan81]

and I didn't say that

[astrOnaut01]

You did, those are direct quotes.

[CancerianMan81]

no their not and you're not forcing words into my mouth

[CancerianMan81]

my words didn't say " YOU SAID PAIN " in my comment

[CancerianMan81]

I said "PAIN" in my sentence but I didn't say "YOU SAID PAIN" in my sentences

[astrOnaut01]

They are direct quotes, even check for yourself.

No, I'm not forcing words into your mouth, you literally said "pain" first. I never said people should "endure pain" or anything of the sort, and I never said that you were saying "You said pain".

You are starting to trip me out now, mate lol

[CancerianMan81]

it came from "STOIC" and you said "STOIC"

[astrOnaut01]

"When I say "independent" I don't mean "stoic"."

Here, a direct quote showing I never said people should endure pain or that pain is healthy or whatever. In fact, I said people could turn to family and friends for support.

[CancerianMan81]

your the one that put yourself in your own position I didn't involve you in anyway shape or form cause I took the word "PAIN" out of the meaning of "STOIC" and put it in my own word I didn't make any claims that you said the word "PAIN" I just said and pain isn't something that is healthy either so your wrong on both counts cause you said "STOIC" and i wasn't talking about being "STOIC"

[CancerianMan81]

I was talking about being "INDEPENDENT"

[CancerianMan81]

How you got "STOIC" out of being Independent is beyond me

[astrOnaut01]

At this point you are just confusing me, dude. Let's agree to disagree on whatever we were talking about.

[CancerianMan81]

alright

[Waffles731]

Yeah the only time in my life that I was happy more often than not was when I was in a relationship so, I disagree

[Anonymous]

People who make articles like theses and buy into them probably have never been out of a relationship for more than two years.