Why Do Girls Care SO Much About Relationship Status on Facebook?

[KaidenKass00]

I've been meaning to ask about this for a while. Well, me and the rest of my guy friends who simply don't get the obsession at all.

Firstly, it does seem true that Millennials are moving away from Facebook for a variety of reasons. Based on the comments 'round these parts, there are LOTS of reasons. Secondly, I will always stand by the belief that gentlemanly behavior is a 100 percent positive...and you know, one of those "gentleman traits" is discretion. It used to be a common female trait, right?

Well, where's the discretion in plastering a private romantic relationship all over Facebook? I understand that maybe only your close friends can see it but for a lot of girls, that's a ton of people. Now, it almost feels like girls are totally obsessed with the "relationship status" part of social media and worse, they get annoyed at guys who are against the idea.

A buddy of mine was dating a girl who, by all accounts, seemed normal. Nice, pretty, funny, amiable, etc. She was quite laid-back and had an easy laugh. But when she decided to change her FB status from "single," she basically demanded that my friend do the same. On top of which, she said they "needed" to add photos of the two of them to both of their FB pages, so their friends could check things out.

Now, my friend is like me: Although he definitely uses social media more, he still believes that certain things should remain at least a little private. His argument was this-

"Isn't it enough that all her friends know we're together? Why do we have to put proof of our relationship up on a website?"

Now, I suppose there are reasons from the female perspective. For example, they might just like the idea of upgrading their status, so-to-speak, and they like that extra validtion, too; i.e., "I'm saying I'm not single anymore so you should say the same." I get that. I also get taking pictures and sharing them; hell, people have been doing that since the camera was invented. But this feels a little different, doesn't it? It almost feels like a freakin' obligation. At least, some girls are viewing it this way, while some guys really hate it.

It's weird because I always thought women were more secretive about their private lives. I know they talk more about intimate stuff with close friends, but I never imagined they'd want to spread that intimacy on the Internet. And guys either seem indifferent or they resent it.

Anybody else experience this?

[existing_not_living]

I don't care about changing my Facebook Status from 'Single' to 'In A Relationship'. It's actually a bit of a hassle to me. While I love attention and all, it's a little too much to have friends and family bombard me with comments about my current relationships status.

My best friend just got dared to change both our status' to 'In A Relationship' with EACH OTHER and what a surprise it is to me when my sister goes on Facebook and tells me that I'm no longer single! What a hoot! I immediately saw a bunch of likes on the status and people (my friends and family) getting all excited for me. It was a nightmare. 1) Now I have to do damage control about letting people know it was a prank and that my dumb ass best friend (a guy) and I are NOT a couple nor will we ever be. 2) I don't want my business out there like that. At least, not for now I don't. I would like to keep things a little private at the moment.

Don't generalize all the girls, K? Like, that actually really pisses me off. No, I'm not a feminist or a "feminazi", but just because a lot of girls are crazy when it comes to changing FB statuses doesn't mean we all are. I have met plenty of guys who love changing their statuses immediately on FB whereas the girl isn't as concerned. I also know plenty of girls who aren't about that life when it comes to exposing their relationship on social media. What you think and what actually is are two different things.

[Setsu]

I suppose I must be weird, being a guy and saying what I'm about to say, but I tend to think that those who have public profiles and nothing to hide should be amenable to such tweaks. Anyone, male or female, who maintains a public social presence and balks at making their relationship status clear must be prepared to offer compelling testimony as to why or leave themselves open to a charge of dishonesty. "I just like my privacy" will not be enough unless it is accompanied by action which conforms to that philosophy. If you want to protect your privacy, don't solicit attention.

[StewieRH]

Me and my boyfriend aren't "Fb official" we've only been going out since the middle of October though and I haven't said anything about it but it does bother me. It bothers me because I see it as a mark of loyalty. Something which bugged me was that he didn't tell any of his female friends about me; We both have a mutual female friend and I'd told her we were going out but not to say anything to him about it because I wanted to see if he would tell her himself. He didn't. I remember getting so worried about it once she offered to just ask if he had a girlfriend and he said yes and that it was me but then he also asked if she liked anyone: "I am just asking as a friend, u got any else you like?" It made me a bit worried reading that tbh.

Another thing is that he does not "like" or comment on any of my stuff on fb, if I post a pic he'll pm me saying I'm cute but that's it. I know when he had a girlfriend before me he didn't change his relationship status or like her pic's either but he would post on her wall and tell people including me that he was going out with her.

He does not post on my wall and has only told family, LSA's and male friends about me. I know he had a bad experience with her though so maybe he doesn't want to tell people too soon about us but I just worry he has not posted anything about our relationship because he wants to speak to other girls or something.

I remember worrying yesterday and kept telling him if he ever liked someone more than me to just leave me but he kept saying he won't, that I'm the only one, that he always liked me and that he was trying to tell me he just liked me but I kept saying he won't and that I needed to trust him.

I apologized but told him I had trouble trusting people without proof. He asked what would prove it to me and I said I didn't know but would think about it. I could suggest changing his relationship status but I don't know whether I should say that or wait for him to suggest it on his own (if he ever does).

[BuchitaBuchys]

In my experience, if he's in a relationship and uses social media in at least a semi regular basis, and refuses to acknowledge that relationship in his social media, he's trying to maintain his single image. Sometimes to cheat.

My first ex had fb, I did not at the time. He still had that he was single. And my family did have fb and tried to add him, he refused. He was cheating on me.

Second ex, again, refused to acknowledge our relationship, he kept going back and forth with his ex, cheating as well.

So if you have social media, and use it occasionally, and refuse to acknowledge your SO, it's probably because you're cheating.
I hate taking pics, and I'm not a fan of PDA. It's not like I'm gonna post a sex vid of us, but I do want us to at least put that we're together.

[redeyemindtricks]

This is the first time I've ever seen or heard a man say the phrase "guy friends".
Including men who have lots of female friends.

Just fyi.

--

As for the article itself -- I'll get hate for saying this, but, FB is girly, in general. The whole principle of it, is girly. If I were a dude, I'd use it strictly for business purposes, and perhaps for bulk level keeping-in-touch with people from around the world.
Really, any use much beyond that, is pretty girly.

I mean, the girls you're describing are probably, on some level, perceiving that, and so they're expecting the "status update" in an accordingly girly manner. It makes sense to ME, at least.
I wouldn't make those sorts of demands on someone, but, that's mostly because I couldn't care less.

[Rrhd2000]

A relationship status conveys the idea of security in a relationship, so that one partner, as you're referencing the female role. Those who are insecure maybe not due to their partner but lets say past experiences or hurt of others really effects girl, men also. This relationship status should mean devotion to only one person. If it is love then a status shouldn't bother a partner but sometimes it is nice for one partner to know they aren't ashamed of the relationship. It could also be used by someone as deceit because they say the status says relationship yet they could still be playing away.
I see it from a insecure prospective (as myself) others may not. Thank you for listening to my opinion.

[udolipixie]

Why Do Girls Care SO Much About Relationship Status on Facebook?
In my experience it's because gals tend to want to overshare their 'love' and relationship. They want everyone to see how happy and 'in love' they are.

Anybody else experience this?
Yes. I find guys are indifferent when they are not that invested in the relationship. I find guys are resentful when they want to hold onto the image of not being tied down/shackled to a gal but instead 'casual'. The resentful guys seem to be looking to a future without her and don't want the present to clutter up potential. While a guy can be in a relationship he may not feel tied down/shackled to the relationship ie committed if it can be easily wiped away. With the Facebook thing he would probably rechange his status to single, delete pictures, and explain to non real life friends about the breakup.

[pityparty]

They want all other girls to know, that he's taken and devoted enough to the relationship to put it there for everybody to see. Also, when your boyfriend changes his relationship status to "in a relationship" with you, it makes you feel like he's serious about it and only wants you, since he can't lie about being single anymore and flirt with other girls ( not without looking like a jerk, anyways ). This is also the reason why a girl would so often tag her boyfriend on posts, that show they are having a good time together - so others will see he's happy with her.

[Anonymous]

He's got 5k followers on Facebook, and a lot of them have little crushes on him. His fans send him photos, PM asking for advice, and they have even sent him gifts in the mail. He has a 100% reply rating, and worries about his closest fans literally keep him up at night. Even before he put up the tags, he still talked about me in posts and let his fans know he had found a girlfriend.
If anyone, guy or girl, doesn't want to change their status, it's a sign that they have something to hide, or that they are not very serious about you. It's not the tags that "aren't a big deal", it's YOU who aren't a big deal to them. in my opinion
Pro Tip: On Facebook, setting your relationship status to "just me" doesn't hide the tag from the other person. They can see it on your page, but no one else can. They will be appeased, and your status remains hidden, at least on your end. You're still tagged on their page too.

[Opinion Owner]

WTF ^ Why did this post anon?

[niahc]

Its pretty simple actually - posting your relationship on Facebook means you are openly sharing with your friends, family, exes, etc. that someone is part of your life. Its a way of being informally introduced to their friends and family. Most women are smart enough to know that being kept secret from someones family and friends probably means they are either ashamed of them, hiding something, or just not that serious about them.

[CHRIS11796]

People don't give a shit aboy it what makes your relatioship special these people act like it needs to be put on cnn news because it's important

[Sexualchrist]

I'm not even on Facebook but this problem hasn't kept away from me all the same.
Girlfriends have still always wanted to put photos of us up on Facebook to show people.

It matters more to women because they're more social animals. They see all their friends relationship statuses and it all becomes a bit of a competition.

[queenmariereigns]

I know girls who share everything they do with their boyfriends on Facebook. I think it's great that people are in relationships but I think it is a sign of insecurity if a girl is not secure enough in her relationship that she has to post it on Facebook just so she can feel she is loved.

I know girls who even talk about their sex lives on Facebook

[Stacyzee]

-Sigh- The thing is these are "girls" no real woman would care about a status on facebook.
I sometimes feel that people have things to prove to the people on Facebook which is why they care so about status, and friends etc.

[shortandsweet24]

Absolutely true! If you have to spam a partner's Facebook page to prove you are together, there may be a deeper issue. :(

[red0127]

I won't do that but I know why.

It's because some of the guys take the relationship not serious and still claim that they are single. Facebook status is to ensure that all the guy's friends know he is in relationship and it means the guy is "occupied" and "unavailable". Don't touch him.

Of course, competition is also a main reason.

[meesh1220]

I totally agree red0127. I think it's the principle of it.

[godfatherfan]

That is funny since I am in an amazing relationship. This is the first time I ever thought about the relationship status and I was the one that brought up changing it.
I had to show her how since she never changed hers before...

[meatballs21]

It seems like yet another example of how women feel the need to assert their superiority over other women, because look how great their relationship with their handsome boyfriend is. Aren't you jealous?

[Poppykate]

Don't you have a really hot girlfriend you want to share her pic around. My ex changed his Facebook to include me. At work now he is know as the guy with the hot ex.

[meatballs21]

@Poppykate My girlfriend is really hot but I don't have the need to go waving her in other people's faces because NOBODY CARES. Our relationship is all about us having a good time together, not about showing off trying it impress random idiots.

[Poppykate]

That's a great attitude to have! But most women like their guys to at least acknowledge the existence of a relationship and have maybe a picture or two. It is like the equivalent of putting a photo on your office desk. You are proud of her, and are proud to be her boyfriend. And this action on social media acknowledges the importance of her in your life. Not only to everyone else, but most importantly to her!.

[meatballs21]

@Poppykate Everyone who needs to know is very aware of our relationship, trust me. We think the world of each other.

[Poppykate]

That's wonderful that your relationship is so mature and stable. My opinion above was based on research I read in Psych studies- so it's generalised.

[Jane_Doe_15]

I'm a girl and I don't have facebook or whatnot. I kind of think its a waste of time and effort. And in a relationship I wouldn't want to tell the whole world about it. I prefer to tell the people that are close to me and are important to me. That's my opinion.

[Anonymous]

I don't know but it really annoyed an ex of mine lol.

I told her that my relationship doesn't go on social media. The people who matter know we were together, and that's enough for me.

My relationship status stayed hidden from public view, and I did not have a separate album of pics of "just us" like she demanded.

[dragonfly6516]

Even if you have your relationship status set to "just me" the other person will still see the tags when they visit your page on Facebook, but no one else will.

[Anonymous]

Proof that you're the only one he is seeing? If a guy is seeing two girls and one tries to get him to change his relationship status he's fucked.

[karahiri]

I would really prefer it if he didn't publicize our relationship on Facebook. I hate that crap.

[DizzyAster]

I'm guessing it's a trophy thing for them, like how a ring is a trophy for a woman.

[Anonymous]

FACbuk SUX

GET a LIFE = your young you don't need that crap, enjoy freedom, I'm really sorry if you're already addicted because more than 70% of teenagers are addicted to cell phones is SHOCKING!!!

[Poppykate]

Couldn't agree more about the mobile phone! Glad I don't have one!