I thought I would write this because I used to be jealous of certain friends relationships but then when I have found out more about them, I realise they have their own problems too which I would feel irritated by. Sometimes when I tell friends about my boyfriend, they will find it cute and sometimes act like they are jealous, other times when I have spoke to friends about him, they have not been impressed and even suggested I break up with him.
I realise that sometimes when we see other people's relationships, especially if they have something in it that we don't have but that we want, we get this false idea of their relationship being perfect and having no problems. This is false though. It doesn't matter how perfect a relationship may seem, it does or at least will have its troubles. There are usually two sides to it.
For example: If I say about my own relationship that we don't always see eachother as much as I'd like due to his family dramas, illness or sleeping problems, that he mainly just goes on his Xbox all day even if I am visiting, that he doesn't like hugs, never takes pictures with me, hasn't changed his relationship status yet, never "likes" anything I post yet will "like" other things, once took ages to reply to me as one his female friends was watching films on his phone, didn't do anything for me Valentines day, admitted he had a girlfriend when a mutual friend asked and that it was me but went on to ask if she liked anyone, once kept on for a pic of me in a swimsuit, hasn't yet met my family although I have met his, won't let me lean on his shoulder if he is tired or wants to play a game, won't let me hold his hand if he wants to play a game, sometimes brings up his ex when there is no need to, shows off, seems more impatient to get a new phone than to see me, I sometimes have to tell him multiple times about something he does that bothers me before he stops doing it and that he can sometimes act like a bratty child.. You would probably feel sorry for me and suggest we break up.
If on the other hand, I told you that he does usually try his best to fix it if he upsets me, worries about losing me, worries about me finding someone better, gets concerned if he notices I am barely eating or getting skinny and so will keep offering and insisting I take his food, tries to help me when he can and feels bad if he can't, feels bad if he does something wrong and tries to make up for it, hugs me (despite not liking hugs) just to make me happy, tries to reassure me when I worry, calls me cute, says I mean the world to him and more, tells me he's lucky to have me, tells me he loves me, buys me more expensive things than I do him (I bought him a LED LEGO Stormtrooper for Christmas, he wanted to get me something too so got me a 'Crazy cat lady' mug and a sterling silver necklace), tells some his friends, family and even teachers about me, sticks with me despite the fact I overworry and sometimes accuse him of lying when he's not, offers to massage me or comb my hair, says if anyone touches me he'll hit them, tries to warm me up if I'm cold, sometimes pulls me on his lap then lies down and spoons me while holding my hand/s, knows I don't believe in sex before marriage and seems to respect that, is careful not to touch me inappropriately, says he will never find someone as cute and kind as I am and that he truly loves, says he will love me no matter what and the fact he worries about me if I am ill or upset.. you'd think I was lucky.
It's like it the other way round too - I can say I'm a bad girlfriend because I overpanic, accuse him of lying when he isn't, continue to go on about things even when I've already got my point across, I once tested him by getting a mutual female friend to ask him stuff (she offered as I was worrying), In the past I have purposely ignored him to get my own back, made him swear on my life if I think he is lying and I have been known to overreact to things.
Then again I could also say I'm a good girlfriend because I try to fix things to, feel bad when I do something wrong, am loyal to him and don't Skype or call other guys, don't try to get close to other guys, think about him often, offer to do stuff to cheer him up, take pics in dresses even if it's cold if that'll cheer him up, stand up for him if my friends or family are bad mouthing him, try to support him with his confidence issues and build him up, am open with him and tell him secrets if he asks or even of my own accord, try reassure him when I need to, try make up for it when I do something wrong, try to look after him when I can and occaisonally send him the odd sappy letter I have wrote for him.
My relationship has its good points and it's bad: So does everybody elses. Yes that girls boyfriend sends her long good morning texts and takes cute pictures with her and yours doesn't.. but her boyfriend also still has pictures with his ex and gifts from his ex which he lies about having. Yes that guys girlfriend is cool and confident and you wish yours was more like that rather than the insecure person she is.. But that guys girlfriend is also a massive flirt and can't let other guys know she's taken.
No matter how perfect a relationship may seem there is always going to be some problem with it or the next. It's okay though, no ones perfect. Personally, I think so long as you both love and care for each other, are both honest and loyal and put effort into the relationship, trying your best to fix your troubles and make it work just for each other.. I think you got a good relationship. I don't think every trouble is going to be fixed even at that but it's that love and effort that counts. As long as you got that true love then even if it might not be perfect.. You got a good relationship and that's a great thing to have :)
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I can somewhat agree, getting to the point in a relationship where unconditional love is equivocal to each partner it is very important. People often pass off one relationship as almost like a joke when oftentimes it is that connection that should be worked on and not just as a passing fancy.
This is awesome! I totally agree.
Thank you :)