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The Irony of 'Nice Guys' (Page 2)
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I love that girls think doing nice things automatically means the guy is just trying to get in her pants. it means i can be a dick and compete only against the other dicks. competition cut in half... seriously though ladies. its a circle... u date a nice guy think he's a dick so friend zone or dump him then you date a dick and are like omg guys are such dicks.
Regarding your first point, you can't really blame us how many guys there are bitching in exactly the same manner as you've done here- bitching and moaning why being 'nice' (ie. human decency, you're not winning a Nobel prize or anything for being nice) isn't enough for us to want to be with you and let you stick it in.
Regarding your second point.. I won't even bother. If you'd read the take above, you'd have the answer.
There is no such thing as a friend zone. A woman will be attracted to you romantically or sexually, or she won't
If she's not then that means you lack the qualities she finds attractive in a guy. It's nothing personal, it's just what it is. To sum it up for you a woman that's on her right mind likes a guy that is confident, who stands for something, knows what he wants and makes it happen. She's going to like a man that's not afraid to stand up for the things he believes in, "nice guys" tend to just tell a woman what they want hear.
@thecd1979 ditto. The existence of the 'friend zone' is something created by 'nice guys' who are incapable of simply realizing that not every woman will open her legs to him. They find it easier to shift the blame onto women themselves for failing to realize the true potential he had or that she's manipulated him into thinking they were something more when in reality, it had been 100% platonic the whole way through and a sane person would be aware that friendliness does not equate to obligations to sex.
I mean if someone lacks other redeeming qualities then they shouldn't be surprised if they don't get women but if they're genuinely decent, well rounded people who get no attention regardless of their efforts they're wrong for maybe thinking they've got it shittier than they deserve?
1) being nice, alone, doesn't entitle anyone to any attention.
2) understandably, these 'abnormally nice' guys will feel wronged but what will it really achieve to demonize the women who simply weren't interested, aside from making the guys look like whiny brats?
@mytake Owner
1) Agreed, but I don't think tyber1 said or implied that.
2) He will achieve nothing. However, other than name calling, what do you have to offer? You haven't really answered his legitimate question. Are the unattractive wrong for thinking they got the short end of the stick? (Thinking that a situation suck is VASTLY different from thinking women are demons)
No, I don't think it's wrong to think they have a harder time.
However, I think that such an individual must start to think long and hard about how he can make himself more attractive.
Do you find yourself in this situation, tyber1?
I agree with you bro, not getting ANY attention of interest from the opposite sex is a feeling that almost no woman can empathize with first-hand.
@Prof_Don
Can I message you with some questions?
@Bluemax sure, message away!
I'm socially retarded and unassertive, does that make me undateable? I have an ASD and believe women have the ability to make their own decisions and don't need me on their right shoulder, like a parrot, telling them who to date. They already have dads.
no, those things don't make you undateable. Just please don't try to justify that some women may not be interested in you on being because they're only into being with assholes.
>> I'm socially retarded and unassertive
Well it certainly doesn't HELP in being dated, lol.
Oh, no, no! I won't play the sore loser! It just hurts, sometimes.
Nice take !! :-)
I am not a nice nor a douchbag...
I have been rejected before but I never complained about it... Yeaa I mean I felt a little bad but I got over it :-D
But I have never met a guy who complains that he can't get laid... LOL
I guess I hang around good people :-)
thank-you. :)
&exactly. Everyone gets rejected, whether they're nice or not. Making it all the more irritating when those with apparent inferiority complexes, ie. the 'nice guys', feel the need to demonize those who simply weren't interested as the only coping mechanism they seem to be aware of. x_x
Yeaa right ! Ha-ha they should know that they are not gonna get everything especially something which is out of their range Lol
Get em girl. I don't know why I wanted to say that. Sorry :/
You know at first I thought this guy:
https://cdn.meme.am/instances/10492276.jpg
Was Mac Miller.
Only problem with this I have is the meme with the penguin makes me cringe a little bit, but for a separate matter.
The last picture. This dude hiding in the bushes 😂😂😂
I rejected a guy politely by saying 'I'm sorry I have a boyfriend already but you're great' because he was but then he started cussin me out and saying how much of a bitch I was and how slutty even though we met like an hour before
He was also a self proclaimed 'nice guy'
... yeah. Sounds typical of a self-proclaimed nice guy who is incapable of realizing that he's the common factor in all of the rejection they experience, not that an entire sex is innately evil. x_x
Yup sounds about right
@buttheadkakakak not all guys who call themselves nice are the way you describe
@steven7890789 did I say that?
@steven7890789 if the shoe fits, wear it, if it does’t then why would this bother you?
Can I just add something in? Just from personal experience I've found that people who are "Socially adept" and I mean that by people who are sociable and have lots of "friends" usually tend to gossip, spread rumors and talk crap about each other and even people they don't know behind their backs.
Think I'd rather be socially retarded and have nobody like me but be a decent person than convey that I'm super "interesting" because I'm being a two-faced dick to other people.
socially adept means to be good at being with other people, often resulting from just being comfortable with the idea. So yeah... makes sense that those who mesh easier with other people will also make up the bulk of not so positive interactions, seeing as how individuals who have minimal social interactions don't have much opportunity to act in such a way.
You do realize that that there is a middle ground, yeah? You can be a social butterfly and just as nice as the self-proclaimed 'nice guys'.
Well, I'll disagree with you there. While someone may be good at socializing it doesn't necessarily mean they are comfortable with the idea. As I pointed out a lot of people who are sociable tend to be two faced, this is usually down to insecurity. trying to make themselves look better and a need to be liked by everyone by way of validation. And to be clear I'm not just referring to guys with that, women can be just as bad. Bearing in mind this is just from my own personal experience.
I never actually said that I didn't agree with you on certain points. I do agree with you that there are "nice guys" out there who demonise women and think that a lot of the guys that get female attention are assholes. They do in fact do that and it's self defeatist. It usually stems from going for girls they just don't gel with and instead of not caring that the girl's not interested (what I do) They put these girls on a pedestal initially and as the rejection keeps happening they start resenting women
Agree with your last point. That some guys who have genuinely good intentions generally endure the most heartbreak because they do tend to put the girls on more of a pedestal. Whereas people who are more socially adept, though they could still be super nice and not two-faced, will not do that quite as much because they know that if it doesn't work out with this girl, it wouldn't be a dealbreaker for them to find another one relatively quickly.
agreed that society is inhuman and most people backstab and gossip like cunts but if you want to be a saint go to the mountains. if you want to stay here... JOOOIIIN UUUSSSS.. . lol.
@fiodor99 true. Of course some people will lie/backstab more than others but anyone who says that they never do such things are lying through their teeth.
Genuine nice guys still don't get as much pussy as douches. That's the game. You right though, men should stop complaining and change themselves for the better, hence pick up artists and the like were born.
Maybe.. but then again, douches mainly get pussy that belongs to girls who frequent clubs and locales like that solely look for dick. So like attracts like.
'Genuine' nice guys, whatever that even means, would likely be more interested in getting with a girl who actually wants more than just a good dicking, no?
I don't totally agree with that. I got guy friends who aren't douches and get laid a lot.
@Joc4Position agreed. I think people like to apply whatever group of people they can, even though they may be complete outliers often times, to confirm whatever they wish to believe were the truth.
Yeah I mean no matter the group each female will have specific preferences that she desires most. I take it from an individual base thing. There are females who prefer me more and females who prefer other guys more. So I don't really think like "Oh she goes to clubs a lot. She probably likes a rich "douche bag"." I don't think like that.
cuz its all bout getin that pussy right bro.
When its with a woman you barely know or its for the wrong reasons not mutual attraction on a deep level, its over rated, drama ensues, one of you get used, you get your dick rubbed raw, you catch a cold when she has one, time you could use constructively is lost, you break a heart you get yours broke, you play games you get caught... oh and babies.
Yep, with an attitude like "its all about getting that pussy" you aren't very "nice" lol maybe if your honest I suppose
To all of you. Genuine nice guy means a cool average joe. Not the very shy guy. A douche trumps both types. Like don't pick up like, that's why the dating game is so unbalanced. A sexy women with no money and ambitions can be with a round rich guy who is ambition driven. I'm also not saying nice guys don't get sex, but douche gets more. If they didn't, none of this nice guy vs bad boy shit would exist. and yes... I am honest, but honesty is a trait of a nice guy. It is pretty off putting I know.
But I'm generally shy and get laid. The nice guy vs bad guy stuff comes from what Kayla said in her take. It's the weirdo guys who get upset over rejection. The dating "game" isn't unbalanced. I pick what girl I want just like females do. I've rejected females before.
@Joc4Position lol dude, OK... then you fall in the minority of guys. If you pick up a 10/10 it means you not shy (I call bullshit), you will have to have some money or some looks. You know what the funny thing is, almost every pro-sex girl I speak to all say it's harder for men. In sex especially. I'm not saying you specifically battle, there are many men who don't, but it's a minority. And nice guy unfortunately doesn't do it for the majority.
I've never seen a 10/10 in-person. I don't know if I've even seen a 10/10 online. And again attraction is subjective, so what you think is a 10 I may not think is. Besides how good someone looks to you doesn't dictate what their preferences are. You really think a guy you think is a 10 would necessarily want a girl that you think is a 10 and vice versa? If so then you are either lying or foolish.
The debate isn't harder or easier in terms of females vs males. The debate is "douchey" guys getting laid more or less or the same as "nice" guys.
Whatever the hell a "nice" guy the majority of women have their own preferences and thus the majority of guys are susceptible to being attractive by women.
*Whatever the hell a "nice" guy is
media.giphy.com/media/RL0xU1daTlMoE/giphy.gif
(Standing ovation) Bravo! Bravo! (tossing a rose on the stage) Bravo! Bravo!
1. So socially retarded and unassertive guys can't be nice? Some guys are just shy, introverted, and/or passive, that doesn't make them bad.
3. Some guys are "pseudo-nice" to get what they want. If a guy is truly nice then he's that way by default.
society doesn't make distinctions. it will fuck you over if you are a weakling one way or another. and there are no bigger shit testers than women. but to be fair even those first category guys u mentioned have some fucked up elements and notions and they are not completely undeserving of what they get usually.
Other than stop demonizing women, what positive changes would you suggest they make?
I feel your take isn't quite telling the whole story here.
It's not my place to advise 'nice guys' on what changes to make. I don't think any of them would feel like I, as an 'evil woman', would be certified to advise on such things. Which would probably result in my getting even more hate than I already am.
I simply wished to point out some flaws of logic in the 'nice guy' argument.
"I simply wished to point out some flaws of logic in the 'nice guy' argument."
That's a bit like pointing out the sky is blue or circles are round.
"I don't think any of them would feel like I, as an 'evil woman', would be certified to advise on such things."
Whereas I think that's true in most cases, I don't think that's true in every case. I also think some of the hate you're receiving is due to your choice of words, which lack basic human decency and dehumanizes and insults them.
... how am I dehumanizing guys who see themselves as valid to call all women 'evil creatures' that wish to do nothing but manipulative and destroy men? I fail to see on how calling them out on major contradictions is equivalent to dehumanizing.
Like you, I don't think anyone dehumanizes them by calling them out on their logical inconsistencies. That's why I didn't say that your calling them out is dehumanizing. If you read carefully, I specifically said that it was your choice of words which is dehumanizing and demonstrates a lack of basic human decency.
When someone says (particularly to people who are in emotional pain, as many of the people you're talking about are), "[They are] socially retarded, unassertive, uninteresting, unfunny and mealy mouthed" as well as calling them "whiny brats," you aren't doing anything more than dehumanizing them and demonstrating a lack of basic human decency. It's just the same name calling that the "nice guys" are engaging in.
" It frustrates me"
I understand that you're frustrated, which is why I suspect this myTake was as much venting as it was an attempt to point out the flawed logic of "nice guys"
... my words? I'm pretty sure that's what the meme said, not myself. Perhaps a meme that worded things a bit strongly but the point remains the same. Your disagreeing with my opinion does not equate to it being dehumanizing or indecent. Simply a different viewpoint.
I fail to see where I called anyone a whiny brat.
"... my words? I'm pretty sure that's what the meme said, not myself"
It doesn't matter that it was a meme. You read it, you signed off on it, you posted it. No different from if you wrote the words yourself. Presidents (generally) don't write their own speeches. If the president read from a teleprompter, "Fuck off America," he couldn't just say, "Oh, well, *I* didn't write that. Someone else did. I just read it during a speech." If you gave someone a greeting card that said, "Fuck you," you couldn't just claim someone else wrote it. In both cases, and in this one, you're responsible for what you post every bit as much as if you typed the words yourself.
"Your disagreeing with my opinion does not equate to it being dehumanizing or indecent. Simply a different viewpoint."
Firstly, I largely agree with your opinion, and even if I did, the disagreement isn't what I think is dehumanizing. I think your word choice is dehumanizing and lacks basic human decency.
You quite right. You didn't say whiny brat. In your remarks to Other_Tommy_Wiseau under SunsetRose's you used the term "whiny bitches."
To anyone else who is reading, perhaps a glance at some of my own mytakes might offer suggestions that (for whatever reason) the author thinks it isn't her place to suggest.
by the way, that meme is not "strongly worded." It is foolishly worded in such a way that will more than likely get a person to become more defensive and offended.
I think the only time one has a right to complain, guy or girl, is if they are led on and manipulated only for the other party to victimize themselves.
But I agree being nice alone isn't enough to make someone attracted to you. In fact there are plenty of nice girls I have met, dated who I lost had no attraction to because they weren't physically attractive or they were just flat out boring.
Sorry guys, sometimes we're just not attracted to you.
But if he's "NICE" then clearly you should want to rip off his pants.
Because that's how it goes in the movies. They never like the awkward guy at first, then they eventually "come around" and realize that persevering desperation will eventually make a girl fall head over heels for you once you shower her in enough roses, and possibly saving them from being fed to pigs by the mafia.
Or something like that. Movies are weird and frankly quite retarded when it comes to portraying romantic relationships, and interpersonal relationships in general. It's remarkable just how much that garbage might shape people's perceptions of how social relations work, I'm glad Inside Out came out and shoved some psychology down people's throats and actually give them some social awareness.
we are totally fine with it. we have come to accept it... as long as girls stop bitching how every guy treats him like shit, doesn't respect her, cat calls, etc.
@Other_Tommy_Wiseau I'm not so sure you 'nice guys' are fine with it if you look at all the very kind comments many of them have left to me on this take.
I was being sarcastic, I figured that'd be obvious by the third paragraph :P
it's always funny. you say nice guys always complain and then when they defend themselves or have something remotely negative (usually common sense), then you bitch and moan about how "nice guys" aren't really "nice". also, like i said in my response, i'm a nice dude, but i'm being nice. i don't expect things in return like your idea of what a nice guy acts like. i just use common fucking sense. how the hell are are you an editor? why does your takes get promoted? you'd think admin would promote shit that actually gives good advice. shaking my god damned head :/
just for clarification, in case you didn't figure it out, @mytakeowner, being a nice guy isn't an excuse for you being a cunt. and just because people are nice guys doesn't mean they approve or have to accept your shitty behavior and morals and bitching and moaning. and "nice guys" don't have to like every type of person either
... I have nothing to do with this
@Other_Tommy_Wiseau... no. It frustrates me when I hear nice guys demonizing girls as a whole for being evil for essentially doing nothing more than simply not reciprocating their romantic interest and/or providing a place for them to stick their dick. I'm not saying nice guys don't get laid, don't like anyone or are all whiny little bitches.
Just like with most groups of people, there are simply a few lemons that like to shift the blame for their lack of luck for whatever reason as being because of the shortcomings of others, rather than possible with themselves.
@SunsetRose guys need to just realize that being too nice and a pushover doesn't work if they are average or below average looking. Women have no problem with guys being too nice or a pushover if he is good looking. Average and below average guys can't be too nice though, they have to be just nice without exaggerating it and have to have other qualities.
@steven7890789 I don't even know where to begin in terms of addressing such faulty logic. It makes so much sense to say that women don't like guys who are average/below average looking when they're 'too nice', right? Because we obviously like to be treated like shit.
Whatever. Keep believing whatever you wish, sweetheart.
@steven7890789 unfortunately women often let good looking guys get away with far too much
@kaylaS91 I never said women like guys who treat them like shit, I am saying they like average and below average looking guys that are too nice (as in being a pushover) but they like them as just friends, they don't like them more than friends but if the guy that is a doormat and a pushover good looking, they would like him as more than a friend. On the other hand if the average or below average looking guy is nice (but not a pushover) and is funny, etc. there could be a probability that the woman would be ok with dating him. With good looking guys however most women will date the good looking guy regardless if he is nice or too nice. That is how the world is. It is the same with both genders. Many people of both genders let certain things pass if the person of the sex they are attracted to is good looking. I hope you get what I meant now. @SunsetRose I agree with your response.
@steven7890789
'Average and below average guys can't be too nice though, they have to be just nice without exaggerating it and have to have other qualities.'
You never said it directly, but your implications were loud and clear.
@kaylaS91 they like guys that are pushovers and doormats as just friends (if he is average or ugly). Forget about what I said about being too nice. They like them as people but just don't want to date them. On the other hand if the pushover and doormat is good looking she will not care if he is kissing her ass all the time, she will let that slide since she likes how he looks, so she likes the type of person he is and wants to date him. The non good looking guys that kiss women's asses most of the time will most likely get rejected but if the non good looking guy is nice without kissing the woman's ass and if he has other qualities like (his is funny, etc.) there could be a higher chance the woman will be ok with going out with him.
@steven7890789 ... way too many generalizations in there for me to really understand what you're saying. It would work in your favour if you stop looking at women as a joint entity though. As if what one does will automatically guide all others to do the same.
Also, nobody likes the idea of being with someone who's bitter af and has issue comprehending that every women has her own preferences.
We'll be interested in whoever the fuck we want to be, and the only thing guys who try and make feeble attempts to understand how and why we do such things are really only digging a deeper grave.
Nobody likes a negative nancy, that's for sure
@SunsetRose can you please try to explain things to @kaylaS91. She doesn't get what I am saying.
@steven7890789 I understand what you're saying just fine. I simply feel like there are no valid points, there. Just a bunch of accusations that women are silly for treating 'nice guys' like a door mat and prefer 'assholes' who will treat them like dirt.
If only it was that simple, sweetheart.
@Mesonfielde Movies and television sure can have an affect on those nice guys that are gullible. It sets the expectation that they should just have to put in the minimum effort and “be nice” to get the girl they want, and if she isn’t into you yet, she eventually will be, you just gotta keep bugging the crap out of her and she’ll eventually come around and see what a great guy you are. They usually just end up creeping the girl out and sometimes even getting the cops called on them for being a stalker.
@thecd1979 @kaylaS91 should frame that and make it a myTake
@Mesonfielde yes, ngl but that hit the nail on the head pretty damn well. Not so sure if I'm willing to make another take on this topic though. It's exhausting and irritating af and have to deal with all the whiny guys who are bitter af and demonize women for sticking to standards of some sort, with no hope of there being much room for reason. 😩
No its not like that, you are justifying it
One woman said : girls enjoy your life with bad boys all you can , but when you get married , marry a nice guy who would change half of diaper
Women you just see us as a object not person
You just give your best to who degrade you, and can't respect who respect you
I didn't play that I stayed as nice till I found that girl who didn't take advantage of this, so I'm just not someone who is mad I couldn't have a woman
There are some really good takes about why "nice guys" are dumb but this one is NOT one of those takes. This is a piece of shit, the author has her head firmly up her own ass.
thanks bae. 😘
well that was a surprisingly chill comment :) I think... what does bae mean?
Douches do get laid more often, I could've cheated plenty of times but I never did. To douches Im the douche, maybe its my Christian upbringing that was jammed directly through my thick skull, because sometimes I regret not being a double douchebag.
Nothing wrong with the Christian upbringing
Just leaving this question here as it is relevant to this take:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1916318-would-you-agree-that-most-women-onlylike-caring-guys-when-they-become
The issue with a lot of nice guys is that they do not declare their feelings about the girl early enough, and when they do it is too late. They just hope that the girl will magically fall in love with them and that doesn't really work in the real world. If you tell a girl how you feel about her early on, not only will it increase your chances it will hurt less if she says no. That is what I have learned from my experiences
They'er socially unaware and have bought in fully to the garbage they are told growing up about what girls want and how to treat them.
We -literally- teach boys to behave this way.
From what I have experienced, the west defines " nice guys " as we define " pathetic guys " , and you define a " classy man" as we define "nice guys " , so I don't understand you people 😂😂😂😂
I fully agree. The concept of 'nice guys' as the whole movement describes them as is as big of a sham as the whole 'feminazi' concept.
Yep.
Classy... I like that