Where I Think Women Screw Up In Relationships

So ladies this Take is especially dedicated to y'all. I've read other Takes about this and I felt that people couldn't genuinely list out what makes men unhappy and discontent in their relationships. So let me begin with what are NOT the deal breakers.(atleast by me)

Where I Think Women Screw Up In Relationships

1) Not giving any suprises or presents on those special occasions.

You'll never see most guys go,

"She never got me anything or did anything special for me. Should I break up with her?"

A romantic gesture is more than welcome, but let's face it,

Men by principal buy what they need over what they want, and there really isn't a lot to choose from to give to guys aside from those tech gadgets(which most women, I'm sorry, have really no idea about). Or the wrist watch, or that shoe and shirt and the list is really limited.

2) Taking Time For Yourself.

We men get it, we really do, but this tends to backfire on us because we know when a girl's quiet, trouble's usually brewing. The externally silent but internally violent thing. Yeah, men kinda get that too. But to us, when you wanna be alone, it means you wanna be alone.(Guys are sooo stupid, I know.)

3) Spending Time With Your Girlfriends.

Yes! We know you all wanna let your hair down and chill with your pals, we understand how much you'll need each other. And its a great way to unwind and relax from the stresses of a relationship. Sometimes ditching us to refresh yourself is actually fine. And some guys actually welcome it, we have guy's time out too.

And now I'll split this topic Two ways, the Pre Dating phase and Dating phase.



Pre Dating Phase.

Yes as the name implies, you can screw yourself over even before you can begin a relationship with the guy,

Ok, so you're interested in a guy and he's interested in you too, but none of you have made the move, so what can you do to lose the dude.

1. Play Too Hard To Get.

Ok so you're getting there, and the guy shows an obvious interest in you. But somehow things are slow as hell, so what do you do? Show a sudden loss of interest or pretend to shift your focus elsewhere. Now for the most part playing hard to get CAN actually work, if you play equal bars of Hot and Cold. But the problem is....

MOST women SUCK at playing hard to get. You need to take the initiative to make him take his initiative. Or better yet, just go G.I Jane and say 'hey bro, I like you, no homo'

It works like a charm, but most gals drop from hot to cold at the speed of light.

Guys be like.

Where I Think Women Screw Up In Relationships

To,

Where I Think Women Screw Up In Relationships

Yup, don't blame the guys for not picking weak ass signals or not to have taken the direct approach.

2) Friendzoning The Dude(Ouchie)

Now, in this case, you maybe want to have the guy try harder to make sure he acertains you ain't easy or maybe you just aren't ready yet, but that doesn't mean the guy shouldn't move on.... A rejection is a rejection. A no is a no. Anything else, but, ifs, else's don't matter unless the guy is really really into you or is just desperate. A guy like any girl, has the right to move on, you can't hold it against him. Don't blame the dude if this happens to you.

Where I Think Women Screw Up In Relationships

3) String Him Up And Leave Him High And Dry

Now this is a rarer, not so frequent case, a girl might genuinely like the guy and there might be chemistry between them but because of initial attraction, or a preemptive quality, a girl may decide to date another guy.

In my opinion, this is the worst thing that can happen guy, being led on and then sent crashing. This is the absolute no return zone. 99.9% surity that you'll never get your guy if you do this.

And more importantly...


The Dating/Relationship Phase.

Congratulations on getting your man.

Now, Getting the guy you want is one thing and keeping him is entirely another.

The things you can do to screw up with a guy, I believe, are as follows.

1. Being Overly Dependent.

Ladies, in this DIY generation, I highly recommend learning a few lifestyle hacks that are generally stereotyped on men, like fixing stuff or bargaining the bill you know to be unfair when your paper guy or cable guy tries to fake it etc etc. Don't become too dependent on the guy, you'll only slow him down and render yourself incapable AND in turn make that relationship all the more frustrating.

2. Feigning Interest In The Things He Likes

Where I Think Women Screw Up In Relationships

Pretending, is not appreciated, we'd much rather know what's going on in your mind, you DON'T have to be interested in what we like, but perhaps we can find something mutual, like, for example, many guys are into gaming, many women are not. Persuading yourself to sit with him for a round of gaming when you obviously have no interest in it, will just make you hate it more than you already dislike it. It makes you begin hating your man's hobbies which definitely influence the relationship negatively. Rather be frank about it, and do something you both like together. Yes, guys are open to mutual fun.

3. Genuine Lack Of Appreciation.

Now ladies, kindly see that I didn't misappropriate Appreciation for Gratitude, we don't expect you all to be grateful, because that just kills the relationship(no, not gratitude itself but the EXPECTATION of gratitude). But we want to be appreciated every now and then, we want to be acknowledged by the women we love, it gives us the motivation to strive harder. A kind from the heart does more good than you can possibly imagine. I'm talking about Rocky-Adrain kinda stuff here.

4. Not Giving Him His Space.

Where I Think Women Screw Up In Relationships

OMG, I cannot exaggerate how crucial this is. A guy needs his space, just as a girl needs her space. Think of it like this, a guy will retreat into his mental man cave, where he's the most immersed thought and is essentially his way of unwinding. Think a girl being quiet is scary? When you see a guy being quiet, leave him be, if he wanted to tell you about what's troubling him, he already would have. Now unless you don't wanna be mauled by a bear, let the guy meditate in silence, he'll get back to you soon. So next time you see his 'Do Not Disturb' aura hanging about him, leave him be unless you want the male version of PMS.

5. Taking Him For Granted.

Both gals and guys do this. But ok, let's keep it neutral, your relationship is based on give and take, not take and take. This kind of mindset leads to emotional abuse and other extremes in relationships. A lack of mutual respect is the easiest, surest method to kill a relationship.

6. Sex, sex and sex, NOT everything is about sex.

Where I Think Women Screw Up In Relationships

Ladies, open confession, men are just as emotional as women, after all, we're human beings. Just cause we're not very good at showing them or rather better at suppressing them doesn't mean we aren't emotional. We are. When we want intercourse, we look for an emotional connection, it is possible that we find it more easily than women but that doesn't mean men are all about just sex, all men want sex, but sex isn't all what men want. The main mistakes that women make here I feel are

Where I Think Women Screw Up In Relationships

Lol.Jk.

A. Attribute men to be just sexual and not emotional at all. Essentially leading them to believe that men are just horny and nothing more. Not true. If that were the case, would women really have at shot enjoying sex?

B. Act like sex is a favor, well.... I'm not gonna elaborate this one. And no, I don't think of women as the submissive sex at all.

C. Tease and no sex? Come on, don't get your man's hopes up and diss him in the end. That's like the cockblockzilla to men.

D. Men have days when they just don't wanna do it too. It doesn't mean we're not getting wood, it just we have no mood for it. And no, it definitely doesn't mean we're banging other women and cheating on you.

E. Periods, ladies, this we understand, we must understand, but if you're gonna ask questions like 'do you think my periods are cute?' And say stuff like 'periods are not gross, but that its our mentality thats gross' You're way in over your heads. Periods are gross and painful, it takes a toll on men too. We're more than ready to lend a helping hand. I mean have you ever seen your guy going

Where I Think Women Screw Up In Relationships

Honestly... I could do a whole Take about this, but I think these points are sufficient here.

Moving on...

7. The Emotional Punching Bag.

Again, gender neutral stuff, BUT women can be more emotionally abusive than men, disagree? See nagging.

8. Gossiping Out Our Intimate Moments To Friends.

Ladies, its true, men kiss and tell. But that's as far as only sex is concerned. We don't go about talking about your intimate issues to our pals. Men's who do this, aren't men. Period. Our hopes and aspirations, our deepest thoughts are exclusively for you only. Its no one else's business.

9. Lies, lies and more lies.

Lying hurts, white ones, grey ones, black ones. Lies are lies. Gender neutral this. It doesn't matter who lies, but the truth is that the person who gets caught in the lie is not the only one who suffers from the emotional fallout of a lie. You lie, you get caught, you lose trust, no trust? No relationship.


And these are most factors that I feel lead women to screw up with men.

Thanks to @YourFutureEx, @Stacyzee for their valuable input, whom I see as co collobrators as all thats good in this take(yes, kindly direct all criticism towards me, if you have any) @A_Lolita deserves a mention, cause why not? So thanks for reading this long, long take.

Thank you for reading. Ciao. #WhereWomenScrewUp

Where I Think Women Screw Up In Relationships
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Azara

    i really thunk takes directed at any sex, about people needing since is pretty redundant. everyone likes since time to time and everyone understands others need for it. if someone feels suffocated, or someone else feels confused, its not bc one of them doesn't understand the need for space. its more likely someones mad and instead of discussing it they want swore. so the other person is picking up vibes something is wrong and really if something is bothering you and yore not ready to talk about it,. just say so. but being upset is going to be expressed whether you talk or not, so a small nice shoes a long way. and for an adult 'saying' id like some time to myself should not be difficult.

    yes, everyone wants space but no one wants space at exactly the same time.

    personally I've never managed to be quiet without a guy asking whats wrong for assuming I'm mad so i just learn to be vocal about when i need alone time. not bc I'm being harassed at that moment, but to circumvent that , preemptively.

    if space is really the issue and no ones mad or upset or PLAYING GAMES, then saying i need time alone shouldn't be hard.

    often times people play hard to get in relationships and call it wanting swore. and the partner doesn't have to out yp with that. bout unless they know its really not a game, they can't make an informed decision. if people ddsnt play games then sure no one would need to be told anything. but people do. so just a heads up to maintain honesty and consistency is a good mature rational move. a 5 second statement sales tons of miscommunication later on. a lot of people 'talked space' not to be alone but to make the other person feel insecure, or to feel in control, or self important, or avoid inevitable break up , or to look around for other options, so its just good to communicate. i think if anyone thinks they should not be obligated to communicate, thats totally fair but these people should stick to casual dating.

    otherwise i agree basically with the boast-for any sex.

    oh except I'm not sure why, if you are not ready then you are that the person should automatically reject you. if i like a guy and he's not ready, I'm not going to reject him later if he's interested and I'm single. people are not always ready when you are. thats not a game or an attack its just timing. I'm not saying you can't move n, I'm saying its not crazy for them to try again when they are ready. and if you're available why play games.

    Is this still revelant?
    • Azara

      also why would you feel like if you screw sex up once with one person thats it forever with them, let alone all other women? that doesn't male any sense at all.. even if you're nervous, thats excessive. there's always others.

    • Chief16

      Well, whatever you say, maybe more true to yourself than other people. Anyone can do whatever they please, to choose to wait or to move on. But from what I know, no is a no. Not a maybe. If people think otherwise, they have major communication issues. When did I say anything about that stuff in screwing sex up? I said those are the mistakes I've commonly noticed.

    • Azara

      i dont get the cartoon is what I'm saying. why would anyone worry they will be akin forever bc of stuff happening with one person. where the guy is like if i screw this up ill be done forever. just doesn't make sense.

      and no people are not equations. it isn't alleys a good time for a relationship though you might really like someone. some people are too prideful and they won't accept this. b the person needing more time isn't screwing anything up , the person being stubborn is. of course if you're seeing someone then you're not available, but whats the point in rejecting someone you like just bc you asked them out art a bad time. there's something very entitled about assuming the world confirm to you at the drop of as hat. not 'you' in particular.. 'one'.

      I'm asking , its not rhetorical. if someone likes you and you like them, but the timing was off. whats the point in rejecting them later. it reminds me of how a lot of guys will reject a woman just so he can ask and expect her

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • M_A_X

    This is legitimate, good advice that every woman should follow.

    Hot and cold/hard to get, are emotional manipulations, and shouldn't be happening in the first place, unless you're emotionally abusive and don't even realize you are. After you've read this, you know, so stop it.

    Is this still revelant?

What Girls & Guys Said

69
  • Mustachekitteh

    Showing Appreciation can be extremely difficult when you can't do it physically. Along with showing gratitude is hard as well. Mainly not being there physically makes it harder. So a lot of times it's hard to put both of them into words. Though this probably is only a problem I face. No clue if other chicks have that problem.

    • Chief16

      Maybe leave him a post it note or send small text if you know how much he's working on something he likes. These tiny tiny things count.

    • What makes it trickier is when he does explain the work he's doing. I have no idea if he's progressing or not. Unless he literally says he is. He's coding programs which I don't know much about. So it's hard to show excitement when I'm confused.

    • Chief16

      Yeah. I get you. Quite the rut no? If you ask him to dumb it down. He will. Guys like showing that they know stuff and its an ego boost sometimes as well.😉

    • Show All
  • IceEverest

    Nice and helpful take bro...
    But the most important question still remains unanswered... that is " Why am I not Mentioned?"
    https://cdn.meme.am/instances/55546343.jpg

    Just joking.

    • Chief16

      Lol. I'll mention you the next time.

  • Stacyzee

    Thanks for the mention !

    Yes, the worse thing a woman can do is play hard to get. It's a tactic that almost never works.
    A man will not pursue someone he thinks has absolutely no interest in him. Women who do this need to understand it's okay to show a guy you like him back , if coming off as desperate is what she is afraid of she needs to pull back every now and then when they do gain contact and allow him to be the initiator of reaching out to her , instead of her reaching out to him at all times.
    Also , giving someone space is crucial. No one wants to feel smothered in a relationship. No space equal suffocation. No one likes to feel that way. That's another thing that can drive a guy away.
    Also, yes some females put too much importance in receiving gifts , there's far more to value in a relationship than something that is tangible.

    Great take once again !

    • Chief16

      Thank you for your insight.

    • Azara

      no one should have to pull back to maintain interest. if someone loses interest bc you dont play hard to get. then they dont like you they just like feeling like a conqueror. whats is the difference between arbitrarily pulling back,. and 'playing hard too get'? obviously no one wants to be smothered, but thats not what showing interest or initiating, is. just like when guys initiate or shoed interest its not 'smothering'. not if the person does not understand boundaries-- in which case there'd be other issues. but the only way people know why you want is for you to communicate. the way we communicate in the beginning before we know each other enough to be vocal about our preferences, is by treating others how we want to be treated. this gets completely destroyed with people having exceptional rules depending on gender. it mallows everything confusing.

      women are too often denigrated for doing perfectly normal human things, that men are not. people should go at a slow enough

    • Azara

      pace where no one feels overwhelmed. but if either person feels pressured to randomly pull back just bacon their sex, thats basically encouraging paranoid position. thats a lot of baggage rot be dating on.

  • Prof_Don

    I'm dealing with a girl that seems to be playing hard to get, and my interest in her is almost completely dead.

    • Chief16

      I know what you mean.😶

    • Prof_Don

      I have always had being liked and wanted and being desired, as a requirement for me to have interest in a girl. No matter what her qualities, if she doesn't show interest in me, my attraction to her fades.

      I am not the one to chase some girl who doesn't seem to like me back.

    • Chief16

      Believe me, no man worth his salt will want to do that. Some girls just believe that they're entitled to have men chase them even if they like the guy.

  • YourFutureEx

    Thanks for shout out.
    The life of a woman isn't easy. She wants us to praise her like a reward earned in decades but at the same time, not to kiss her ass. Not to spend and waste time on other things but have a lot of hobbies. Wanting the things she doesn't reciprocate and then lying to make a reasonable excuse. The problem is, they live in present. They don't think about future. Of course, if I were a woman, I'd want him to praise and respect me that he's with me, but I'd not create any barriers and would try to give more than him because that's what a relationship is. You both should try to beat your partner in the field of affection.
    That song story meme was good :)

    That

    • Chief16

      That's why I'm gonna write a Take on where men screw up.

    • Johnagain

      Oh no!!! And what are WE so bad for? Being ourselves? I think there better be some mention of the f#%@ing Victorians raised boys from infancy differently so that we are at a disadvantage in social and emotional regulation skills that females have!

  • OrdinaryGentleman

    Hahaha this was brilliant, i need more
    MORRRRRREEEEE

  • lonerider

    The best myTake I've seen here since the past few months.. Preach my brother!

  • Jat_guy

    This is so genuine and real. Mans perspective. Well done man... it's a very good piece. Love it...

  • A_Lolita

    Good job 😊 It was insightful

  • Marinepilot

    I'd say you got it very right. Bravo ! Well done !

  • Tiger288

    Good take!

  • Anonymous

    Very Good Take.😊

  • Anonymous

    Sorry, I'm confused about the first three topics you brought up? What soluyions do you offer?

    Also, I try not to be dependent, but some things (even complains and such) are just easier for a man to handle. The opposite is also true.

    • Chief16

      Well, I don't know about your case, dear anon. Just be as you are without a boyfriend. Something's shouldn't change when you start a relationship.

    • Anonymous

      Well, I like to think I didn't change much, but we kind of divide the things each of us is better at. I do some stuff for him, he does for me.
      I meant about the gifts and spending time with your friends?

    • Chief16

      Yeah, what about them. I said we don't mind about gifts or friends.

    • Show All
  • Anonymous

    Or if they say 'we're just friends', but sem to be testing you afterwards or be digestive, and stop talking to you until they need advice or a person to talk to

    • Johnagain

      Yeah. I've seen that... I hate that.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for letting us know! I definitely will keep these in mind

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