"Oh, she's not going to care about that."
I've heard it many times. The guy is flat-out convinced that a girl he likes simply won't care about something when in fact, she really does care (even if she claims otherwise). And in this day and age, when values and preferences and desires are hardly uniform - scattered to the wind like so much dandelion fluff - it becomes increasingly difficult to know what girls really care about. And guys, too, for that matter. But perhaps a girl out there can write the female side of this. ;)
Let's start:
8. The little things
Yeah, it's a new age. Women are indeed equals and we have to remember that. But to deny the differences in biology and gender, to believe that simply because equality is the rallying cry of an entire country girls have stopped caring about the niceties, is a mistake. Girls do care about the niceties. Hold doors. Take coats. Smile and say nice things to them. It's not placing them in a subservient position; it's being caring and respectful and there isn't a woman alive (outside of those who simply live to push a certain agenda) who doesn't appreciate this.
7. Please, for the love of God, clean yourself up
The bum look is dead. It just is. It went out in the '90s with the rest of the "apathy rules" trends. No, a hoodie and the sneakers you've patched with duct tape and a piece of cardboard in the sole aren't fit for a first date. And don't start with the, "oh, what, I'm supposed to wear a tuxedo?" garbage because that's just another lazy cop-out. No, you don't have to wear a tux or a suit; hell, you don't even need to aspire to business casual. But you should come damn close on your first date. And a shower is a prerequisite, too.
6. Getting along with her friends
A girl might say she doesn't care if you don't like her friends, but it's a lie. It's always a lie. Now, it may not be a make or break situation for the relationship, but there's zero chance she doesn't care at all. At the very least, you have to make a strong effort. The worst thing you can do is assume that because you're in her life now, she'll need her friends less. Wrong. If anything, during the early stages of a relationship, a girl needs her friends more and chances are, meeting them is a very big test for you. They see it as a test, too. Pass with flying colors and you're good to go.
And speaking of tests...
5. "You don't have to go shopping with me; you can stay home if you want."
Granted, this might actually be true. Hell, she might not want you along at all. But typically, during the first few months of a relationship, especially after she's done things you've wanted to do, she's going to spring this on you. It may be disguised as an important chore - i.e., "I really need to look for some new jeans today" - but the implied meaning is simple: "This time, I want you to come with me." And guys, it's not about being "whipped" if you consent to go. It's about showing that you're willing to do something she wants to do, even if you loathe it. And the more fun you have with it, the more fun she'll have.
P.S. I'm well aware that not all girls like to go shopping. This can be any activity that she really likes and knows full well that you don't; hence, the test.
4. Size may not matter, but ability does
There's a Part 2 to the "size doesn't matter" statement. Yes, women say it all the time and yes, most of them really do mean it (to some extent). But the follow-up statement, often only whispered to close friends on their side, is- "...he just has to know how to use it." This is always true in any romantic relationship. And guys, I'm very sorry to burst your bubble but no man is born a Casanova; it requires practice and a willingness to totally humiliate yourself. You'll learn and she'll appreciate the learning.
3. Your position in life
This goes beyond the simple matter of money. This is about whether or not the man is a go-getter, whether he has ambition and motivation. A stock boy at Target can rise up the ranks and become a corporate executive if he or she has the desire, and trust me, a girl wants to see that desire. She wants a guy who strives to make something of himself, who has the motivation to become something greater than he already is. This ambition should include other parts of your life, too; it should involve willingness to travel, diligence when it comes to health, etc. She wants a doer, someone with goals...she does not ever want a slug.
2. Remembering special days (anniversaries, birthdays, etc.)
Okay, how many times have we heard the "I don't care about it as much as other girls" line? Yeah, some girls certainly care more than others, but they rarely let on. They care. They really, really do. If you miss a birthday and then remind her of her saying, "I don't really care about my birthday," you deserve whatever coldness you receive. She expected you to see through that and it's really disheartening to her that you didn't. Pay attention.
1. Those little "I'm thinking of you" gifts
Spontaneous gift-giving is one of the great joys of life and women hold it in especially high regard. It doesn't have to be expensive; it just has to be thoughtful and it really helps if it arrives at just the right time. After a particularly bad day, this little gift shows up on her pillow. It's just a "thinking of you" item that reminds her that she's not alone, that even though you had to catch that early meeting at work, and even though you've got to travel for business over the weekend, she's still in your head. She still means the world to you. Doesn't matter what you need to do or where you need to go after that; you've scored. Big time.
I had one girl say to me that she actually didn't like getting gifts. She couldn't help seeing them as bribes or apologies or ways of saying, "I can't be here, so take this instead." Then after a particularly terrible day in her life, I left something simple on the bedside table the following morning. ...later, with tears in her eyes, she admitted she might've lied about not caring. ;)
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