Translating Guy Speak: What He REALLY Means When He Says...

Translating Guy Speak: What He REALLY Means When He Says...

Girls, you know what I'm talking about, right?

When your boyfriend - or guy you have a crush on - says something that you think is straightforward but really, if you start to think about it, it's anything but. It's ridiculous that guys always accuse girls of speaking in code when guys do the exact same thing. The only difference is I'm not even sure they realize they're doing it. Maybe they think there isn't any "code" and that we see through it all, anyway.

Well, if you weren't given the Girl/Guy Guidebook, let me give you the abridged version:

"I only look, I never touch."

Translation: "I spend half my goddamn day ogling other women."

Translating Guy Speak: What He REALLY Means When He Says...

Guys who say they "look but never touch" are likely the biggest flirts that ever walked the earth. They're saying it so they have license to look...no, not look. Leer. Ogle. And the girl isn't allowed to call them on it because all he has to do is look all innocent and go, "baby, I told you I never touch!" As if that makes everything okay. Hey, a guy can draw my eye, too, and I totally get it if a girl grabs my guy's attention. But we all know what you really mean, my horny friend.

"I really don't care that much about sex."

Translation: "You suck in bed."

Translating Guy Speak: What He REALLY Means When He Says...

This is a hard pill to swallow but trust me ladies, you'll be better off just accepting it. When a guy starts talking about how sex doesn't matter much, that it's "not a big part of his life," that he's not "obsessed," you might want to ask yourself: Doesn't it sound suspiciously like consolation? That's because it is. He's saying the sex just isn't doing it for him and FYI, you either have to step up your game or he's going to start shopping around. Maybe he already has.

"I like you but I don't like you."

Translation: "We will never, ever be naked together."

Translating Guy Speak: What He REALLY Means When He Says...

The good news is that guys stop trying this after a certain age (I think). The bad news is I keep hearing younger girls complaining about this all the time. I guess guys are starting to let girls down easily by saying something like this, though it unfortunately strings girls along. See, when a man says this, the first thought in a woman's mind is: "Oh, so at least he likes me a little; I can convince him to go the rest of the way." Sorry girlfriend, but no, you can't.

"You're suffocating me!"

Translation: "I don't want to hear you talk for the rest of the day."

Translating Guy Speak: What He REALLY Means When He Says...

Guys are big on using terms like "suffocating" and "obsessing," always ready to accuse girls of blathering on and on and asking stupid questions like, "what are you thinking?" But men have overused the hell out of such accusations so no, it just sounds like you don't want to talk...ever. I've had a guy tell me to stop suffocating him when I asked how his day was over the phone. Literally like seven words and he was ready to hang up, and I hadn't spoken to him all day. WTF.

"I'm just not in a good position right now for a relationship."

Translation: "I just prefer my 'position' was closer to someone else."

Translating Guy Speak: What He REALLY Means When He Says...

Granted, a guy might say this and really mean it. But usually not. This load of bullcrap is often reserved for guys who like to play the "it's not you, it's me" card, or the "I have to focus on myself" ploy. Yeah, and you see them two days later trolling the same online dating site where you two met, right? I wonder how many times the same guy can use the "I'm just in a good position for a relationship" argument in the same year...like ten times, maybe?

There. That should help my fellow girls out a little. ;)

Translating Guy Speak: What He REALLY Means When He Says...
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Anonymous
    Hilariously inaccurate in so many ways.

    You know how girls are always getting confused by guys? It's because of shit like this.

    You're so wrapped up in the idea of hidden meanings and messages, that when guys say "We say what we mean and we mean what we say, we ARE that simple" you just can't accept it. Instead you come to the rather insane conclusion that guys are still talking in code, but WE JUST DON'T KNOW WE ARE.

    You women are crazy as hell...

    Take this ""I really don't care that much about sex."
    Translation: "You suck in bed."

    That's utter bullshit for starters. Some guys do just have a low-libido. But like the partner of a guy who loses his erection, she HAS to make it ALL ABOUT HER. "Is it me? did I do something wrong? Am i not attractive anymore? Did I wear the wrong thing? It's me, isn't it?"

    "I like you but I don't *like* you."
    Translation: "We will never, ever be naked together."

    NO. This is something a woman might mean when she says that. A guy can fuck anyone, even someone he only "likes" instead of "*like* likes". No, he means what he says. he likes you well enough as a person, and he would fuck you, probably, but even if he fucked you, he's NOT going to have a relationship with you.

    And as for suffocation - that is a desire for space. To breathe. Hence the word suffocation. And your silence is just a bonus, really. He's not saying shut up. He's not even saying Go Away. He's saying "Let me Go Away" "Let me breathe"
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • btbc92
    Okay I have to say that I am quite surprised with the MyTake. And most of this is not true at all.

    "I only look, I never touch.": We can't deny that men look. Few will go as far as to touch if their real creeps. But not all men do any, if their only concern is the one they are with. So unless the guys interest is still open to other women, regardless if he finds her attractive or not, he will not stray from the one he is with.

    "I really don't care that much about sex.": Wrong to the negative power. Even as a virgin, I got the same remark a few times as a young girl. Are you kidding me? You don't know their sex drive. You never had sex with them, and you can't even based that fact just because you did once. Some people just don't care, or put it as an importance in a relationship or their lives! Not all men are horny dogs, and it's disrespectful to even assume that. And just because a person refuses to have sex, it doesn't mean they don't have a sex drive or a high libido! They're just more disciplined then most people, and don't need to rape everything that walks! The same applies to me as a woman. Just because I don't have sex, or masturbate and believe in saving oneself for marriage. It doesn't mean I don't have a sex drive. It's just it's for one person and person only: The future husband. That's it.

    "I like you but I don't like you.": That translation is dumb. I don't know if this is from your personal experience, but you have it all wrong. I study people. And this is not what men are saying. Some are very direct in telling you if he's never going to have sex with you, let alone being naked in front of you. This sentence means he just has mixed feelings/emotions and is trying to sort them out! So unless he is a natural feeler, most men cannot deal with emotions! Henceforth, which is why they hate and avoid explosive arguments with so much emotion. They may get too vulnerable to the point their ashamed, or be ready to do something they will regret: like putting a hand on a woman as an example.

    "You're suffocating me!": Some men can't handle ongoing conversations where your repeating your feelings and emotions, but you refuse to give them facts. They want what the FACTS! Point A to Point B means you made it to C! Did you? Yes or No? But when you telling them how you FEEL about Point A and what you did all in-between to get to Point B! And how B made you cranky all morning, on and on and on. I'd avoid you too.
    • btbc92

      "I'm just not in a good position right now for a relationship.": Look, does it matter if he is or isn't? As long as he isn't leading you on, its common sense to just find somebody else who interested in a relationship with you. There is no hidden agenda unless you can really sense there is. Maybe they really aren't. Or maybe they are, but doesn't feel he can with you. Okay then. Grow a pair, suck it up buttercup, and move on if that's what you want. Not make a big stink about what a guy does. Because it may not be all what its cracked up to be. This is why I'm thank God everyday for being by myself. I can study and observe the behaviors of people as much as I want to come up with this answer. Not bad of a MyTake, but please be mindful of proper observation and build your communication skills more without immediate judgement, and you will understand why men behave the way they do. Many often react and mirror of us as females to justify their actions.

    • Quality reply. This entire take sounds way too much like the writer had some real bad experiences and/or is projecting.

    • btbc92

      @FakeName123 I had bad experiences too. Maybe not as bad as people in relationships or were, but nobody really understands me unless they want to. But I'm not going to allow myself to be bitter because of these experiences. This is why I'm by myself, because I cannot handle or deal with modern day relationships. I'm basically unqualified for a lot of guys, or their made because I would do what they want. But the MyTake owner needs to understand that she is reading into this very wrong, its so scary. And they want to know why their relationships fail and end up single all over again.

    • Show All
  • NearlyNapping
    "I only look, I never touch."

    Translation: I'm male. Of course I'm gonna look. Duh!

    Guys will spot a chick way off in their peripheral vision at 200 meters on a foggy day. We're just made that way.

    "I really don't care that much about sex."

    Translation: If a guy actually says this I can only think of a few things. Either he really means it. Or he's white knighting. Or he's lying as a roundabout way to get in your pants.

    "I like you but I don't like you."

    Translation: Pretty straight forward, no code here at all. Or maybe... what's the semi-polite way of saying this? Lets just say you might not be a head turner.

    "You're suffocating me!"

    Translation: Again, pretty straight forward. It means give him more room already. Don't expect his constant attention. Don't be clingy. And yes, it might mean you talk too much.

    This is really a compatibility issue, since everyone has different expectations on how much time and attention they get from their SO. Couples have to be on the same wavelength with this one.

    ""I'm just not in a good position right now for a relationship."

    Translation: This sounds like someone with personal issues and they don't know what the heck they want. They can't even express it to themselves, let alone anyone else. It sounds like someone who would be wishy-washy and send mixed signals.
  • rjroy3
    "I only look, I never touch" = just because I have a girlfriend does not mean I'm gay. I'm going to notice other women, but you can trust me. I won't cheat on you.

    " I really don't care that much about sex." = he's either dead serious because of some righteous conviction, usually because of religion (I said this when I was younger and it was true). Or, he's just saying it as a way to help you not feel pressured for sex.

    " You're suffocating me!" = stop trying to nag me into doing something I don't want, because you can't accept the fact I'm not a woman. Or, you're overwhelming me with your neediness for attention.

    "I'm just not in a good position right now for a relationship" ... this one actually is some BS lol. I've never used it. It = I don't value enough to give up singledom to be with you/ I straight up don't want a girlfriend but don't have the balls to tell you that because I like the hooking up/attention I get from you. Basically stringing a girl along.

    Now I have said, "I'm not ready to be in a relationship right now", but that's because I was still fresh off a breakup and not emotionally ready for another relationship. And I truly didn't want to turn a girl I liked a lot into a rebound. I wanted to be able to give her my heart. But I also understand not all guys are like that.
  • AleDeEurope
    This Take will do good with the girls in GAG, despite being all wrong xD
    • Unit1

      Yes indeed, this is somehow too funny xD

      Or maybe overthinking? hmmm ;P

    • Ha, here's the thing, you can't convince them by simply telling them, they have to be shown. But even then... And be honest, there are f***head dudes out there lying their a** off out there on the dating scene making it difficult for decent men.

  • Nothanks700
    Lol. Disagree with almost all of these. Men are capable of emotion dear.

    "I only look, I never touch" that's just a weird thing to say, but you also spend half your day ogling men, even if you like to pretend you don't.

    "I like you, but I don't like you" I think this is pretty plain and obvious, and requires no translation. He likes you as a friend or person, but is not physically attracted to you. Getting upset about this is as ridiculous as the "nice guy" syndrome, just because a guy is nice doesn't mean you will sleep with him, there has to be attraction there.

    "You're suffocating me" I have never used this to mean, you are talking too much today. If I ever say it, it means you are being overly clingy and high maintance, and if you don't back off we're breaking up.

    "I'm just not in a good position for a relationship right now" no, this does not usually mean, " I'm not into you" if that were true, most men would just say that- were usually pretty direct. It means what it says. Maybe he is going through some personal issues, is focusing on his career, or whatever else.

  • far2gud4u
    I find guys usually just speak the truth and most women dont wanna listen. Like the first one yeah they say it and it means 'woman get off my back I will look and continue to look stop being so overbearing'
  • tbm1986
    I had a chuckle and agree with all of them, except maybe the last one. It may be true in a lot of cases but 90% of the time, when I say it, I mean I have mega issues I'm getting depressed about (possibly due to a bad break-up or a girl I've fancied for ages turning me down) and I'm better off alone for a while.
  • MrOracle
  • Investigator
    I went into this MyTake assuming the OP would have no idea what guys ACTUALLY mean and butcher her so-called "translations" the same way Hollywood butchers video games.

    I was not disappointed.
  • ThatJarHead
    I mean maybe it's because I was raised by women but when I say most of these things I'm being 100% literal. But my opinion doesn't matter so take it with a grain of salt lol
  • Unit1
    Eh?
    I never said anything of above :O
    Nevertheless I would never talk in such encrypted messages. I would only talk in a logical sense and I would be honest and straightforward, however in situations where the truth will cause drama, sometimes a lie is easier to give.

    Oh and don't forget the obvious sarcasm ;)
  • RedVulcan
    Disagree with the last one and personaly never heard the first one, but the rest seem about right.
    Some people genuinely can't get into a relationship at that given moment. It's true that some may use it as a bs excuse but for instance I won't be able to keep up a serious relationship well next year because grade 12 will be hard.
  • IceCubedude
    well most of these are excuses we give but you got everything wrong, " i like you but dont like you " one is when a guy wants to get laid with no strings attached.

    "I'm just not in a good position right now for a relationship." again its all about sex nothing more nothing less.
  • feminismisnarcissism
    this is all very true... and on #1 - nothing is wrong with looking as long as it's not WHILE WITH YOUR GIRL. I wouldn't tell her "oh ya I look" as what good does that do? I assume she looks too-why press the issue, why drag a nonthreat into the light? Seems immature to say that-and sounds more like the calling card of a cheater to me. "I look but don't touch" the others are all spot on.
  • JSmuve
    Soooo basically, if you're a girl, ask yourself what you mean when you say these things to a guy and there's your answer.
  • ImNotTriggered69
    This is all bullshit.

    Here's what those things really mean.
    I. I only look, I never touch. = I'm a man, when I see an attractive woman I look because she is attractive, but I wouldn't cheat. (Looking as in the way I would look before crossing the street. Not leering like a pervert.)
    II. I really don't care that much about sex. = I don't our relationship to be based on sex.
    III. I like you but I don't like you. = I like you as a friend. We don't have chemistry.
    III. You're suffocating me! = I need some space to do things that I enjoy. I have a life outside of this relationship and it's not healthy to neglect my hobbies.
    V. I'm just not in a good position right now for a relationship. = I don't want to have a relationship right now/Or I'm not interested in committing to a relationship with YOU.
  • Pacificblue62
    This is how you interpret those phrases when they are being said by a guy. This may apply to some guys but it's ridiculous to assume this is what all guys mean if they where to say these phrases. #1 I agree with more than the others. #2 definitely does not only mean that. The rest could mean other things as well. There isn't some code to crack to understand an entire gender. People vary on a case to case basis. Men and women.
  • Luminifera
    I love the "manslator" on tumblr, it's so funny and true! Hahaha. https://manslator.tumblr.com/
  • JohnDoe3000
    Except the first point all these points apply exactly to women as well. Women overthink things when they could just look at their own playbook to see what a guy probably means...
  • Helghast_kitty
    I guess i understand how girls feel about, "what she really means" mytakes.
    1. i don't look at hot girls anymore than average ones, or even a random leaf on the ground.
    2. or i'm insecure about my ability in bed
    3. your just not trying hard enough. He'll fold. Chocolate, and blackmailing goes a long way.
    4. i thought this one was kinda obvious, for guys and girls
    5. There are any number of reasons he might not want to be in a relationship, he just doesn't want to tell you why.
  • Kylesar
    I've only ever heard #2 and #4

    I've literally never heard the rest said EVER by a man. Only women

    The translation for 4 is wrong too. It means back the hell up and give me space for whatever reason
  • If I say that "I really don't care that much about sex", that is because I really don't. Try generalising less, thank you.
  • tony1988
    These are generalizations that don't apply to every guy. And you can't get mad at guys for looking at other girls it's human nature. There is a big difference between looking at someone and being in love with. And women do the exact same thing. I know my ex looked at other guys when we were together and I never cared.
  • NanaXXXX
    These could be equally true for guys and girls. . .
  • CancerianMan81
    is that what you women really think if you really believe what you just wrote in this MyTake then you really have a serious problem
  • Telekinetic-Potato
    "I like you but I don't like you."
    Translation: "We will never, ever be naked together."

    Holy shit stop! This isn't bullshit. I need to tell a girl this right now because I thought we were friends with benefits and then she started calling me her boyfriend and I'd really like to just be friends. Don't spread stuff like this when it makes things harder on people like me!!! lol

    "I'm just not in a good position right now for a relationship."
    Translation: "I just prefer my 'position' was closer to someone else."

    This one isn't really true either. Sometimes we have jobs or we are recovering from a tough breakup. Sometimes we see problems and want to avoid them because what's the point if 2 months into the relationship it's already falling apart. Then your just wasting time.

  • SleepingSnorlax
    I feel like
    We lie
    Because you girls dont want the truth
    And most of these things are wrong anyway
  • dudeman
    nah thats not how i take this. when i say these things they are literal. i dont care about sex because I've had a lot. i look but i dont touch.

  • singlebee
    Hahahaha nice take girl!! I am find admit... I have played the "I'm just not in a good position right now for a relationship." Card :-D
  • Alex88F
    "i trust you"
    IE "you betcha yo ass that if i find out you're a cheater im gonna kick you outta my life. been there, done that"
  • Fearless_banana
    No. I actually say what's on my mind and I'm straightforward about it.
  • Cosytoasty
    I was skeptical but i won't lie they ALL apply to me lmao. esp 1, 4 and 5.
  • 666threesixes666
    eh not so much. guys get dragged through tons of shit, not in a good position for a relationship can mean he's going to gather himself, and address problems rather than rebound into the next terrible relationship repeating old mistakes. i don't really care that much about sex, some guys want other aspects like security, comfort, trust, not a hurricane of one nighters. i care more than a little about it, everything has to be perfect to get it out of me. i want all nighters, not girls that make me question myself being with them.

    sometimes what you say about others says more about yourself than it does about others. this whole take says to me that you don't help put guys insecurities, and fears about being with you to rest. instead you fuel the fire for them to leave you. look but don't touch, constantly thinks about sex, but doesn't defile himself. appreciates many women's form, shopped around, and found what he wants.
  • Most of what a guy says to a woman translates to either "I'm hungry" or "I'm horny".
  • anonman32
    i thought this was gonna be about bro speech like hey bruh, you mirin?
  • Darkone1
    apart from being funny, total bullshit.
  • SovereignessofVamps
    So guys are pretty straightforward.
  • Redstang88
    Good try

    Off by a mile, but good try
  • AhGojira
    Doesn't work for me.
    • AhGojira

      Start over again miss teen magazine...

  • Lillevalss
    Maybe I could use this in the future. Thanks.
  • ice_vampire
    WOW, Everything you said is WRONG...
  • Anonymous
    Regarding the "suffication", a guy can feel like not talking at any particular time. You can force yourself on one, but don't expect him to like it. Just because they agreed to it 24 hours ago doesn't mean they are consenting today, or that their desire for talking has recharged during that time.
  • Anonymous
    Nice take... Enjoyed reading it...

    So translate this one for me...
    'Girl I really like you and its for more than just your body'

  • Anonymous
    Nice mytake
    ;)
  • Anonymous
    I think in general these excuses should stop guys and girls have both said them. I personally have had all these throw at me in past relationships and it can hurt someone emotional. If you don't have feelings for a person tell them on the first date don't prolong it because that just makes it worse.
  • Anonymous
    suffocating me= give me some ducking space i need some me time. Just not in a good position right now for a relationship."
    Translation.. am not ready to fucking date. However if a guy says this after having sex with you he's lying.. When i went through my forced break up a year ago i wanted to date around and told every girl this from day 1
  • Anonymous
    1. No
    2. Yes
    3. NO, Never heard any guy say this... ever.
    4. A better translation is "You need to calm the fuck down, and stop overthinking everything, because you are turning into a crazy, obsessive bitch right now, and if I come right out and say it you will flip out on me."
    5. Better translation: IDGAF about anyone but myself, and I am just looking for a pump and dump.
  • Anonymous
    I will not meet the girl that I used to like again, if this hurts your feelings = I'm going to meet her and lie to you about this, this way I won't have to handle your bad mood for a week
  • Anonymous
    Not really...
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