Sorry Girls, Abusers Just Don't Change (Page 2)

[neoagent1]

I'm glad you got out of that situation. Too many women stick with psychotic assholes like that out of fear. Guys like that should be beaten.

[scooogy]

That's why I'm glad that my girl always tells me I shouldn't always treat the dishes as if they were women. I just won't change from staying calm around her.

[SoFeckinAddicted]

So much yes. Good for you girl. You're a really strong person ❤️

[Anonymous]

Funny you say that because THE MAJORITY OF ABUSERS ARE WOMEN

[feminismisnarcissism]

why wouldn't they be... society practically encourages it. because "men can't be abused". That's why we need feminism-so women can be as abusive as they want and play victim while doing it...

[NeutralMale]

Why are you assuming that women are the only ones who are abused? men are women are abused at similar rates.

[67ChevyImpala]

She didn´t say that, she said that her boyfriend had abused her and that abusers don`t change. She didn´t refer to a specific gender.

[NeutralMale]

@67ChevyImpala "Sorry girls, abusers don't change"

[FashionQueen86]

She's not assuming anything, and it's common sense that not all men are abusers. If the shoe doesn't fit, then it's not applied to you. She's just a woman who's sharing her experiences and wants other women to be careful. In her title it says ABUSERS. She did not say "Men just don't change" Or "All men just don't change"

[amarahorrorstory]

Guess you didn't know, a lot of women date men. SOMETIMES those men abuse the women they date. This is a message to girls who have interacted with guys (or actually anyone) who are/is abusive. It could even be an abusive girlfriend, it says abusers, she doesn't specify. She's using her personal experience. She didn't assume anywhere that women are the ONLY ones who are abused. You assumed that that was what she meant. You are finding a problem where it doesn't exist.

[NeutralMale]

@amarahorrorstory I assumed she meant this for just women due to the title.

[amarahorrorstory]

This particular take is geared towards young women, but it works for anyone who experiences abuse. She's a woman, so she's speaking to women. No where does that indicate that men are not abused.

[Bobbyhill1]

@amarahorrorstory ''im a man so I speak for men'' ''im Asian so I speak for Asian people'' you get the point. This kind of approach is so foolish and I have never understood it. His main point? why not just speak for people? men can relate and so can women. I get that she is a women but separating people into groups just causes so much crap.

[amarahorrorstory]

@Bobbyhill1 I didn't say she speaks for women I said she's speaking TO women. She's not a man so she doesn't know a man's perspective. You're just finding something to pick at. Just because she is speaking to women doesn't take away anything that male victims experience.

[Bobbyhill1]

@amarahorrorstory im not finding something to pick at. I see these topics all the time and they clearly get a ton of backlash for the same reason. My solution? well lets see, men and women are abused and similar rates, this problem is not exclusive to women therefor there is no ''she doesn't know the mans situation'' because that same thing can be said for a women, yet she only addressed them to begin with. Do you see how condescending your point is right now?

[Bobbyhill1]

im just saying, you want an end to all this crap stop addressing specific groups when we all go through the same thing at the same rates, it makes no sense.

[amarahorrorstory]

@Bobbyhill1 Well you're horrible at getting that idea across. This girl wrote a good take. Stop making a mountain out of a mole hill. Have a nice day.

[Bobbyhill1]

@amarahorrorstory im not horrible at getting my idea across lol. Its simple, when issues are apparent with more than one group why exclude the other? its not a moe hill, because this is common.

[amarahorrorstory]

@Bobbyhill1 She's a woman talking about her experience being abused. She isn't excluding anyone. If you feel so passionate, write your own.

[NeutralMale]

Can you both please stop arguing?

[feminismisnarcissism]

false. 70% of domestic violence is perpetuated BY WOMEN, but men aren't allowed to be victims, so it's way underreported. but no question, MOST abuse is done by women, about 2 to 1 ratio, not "similar rates".

[Bobbyhill1]

im going to stop arguing because even though I use logic she is repeating herself ''shes a women'' so? and men dont go through the exact same thing?

[Bobbyhill1]

@amarahorrorstory write my own? I was never abused by a spouse. Im going to end this its going nowhere

[feminismisnarcissism]

@amarahorrorstory you can't speak for her and you're the one off mark here. EVERYWHERE society assumes woman is the victim in domestic violence and abuse... despite that women abuse men 2 to 1 vs men abusing women. So he was spot ON with the correction. it's been lied about for far too long and men have had enough-get used to it... women playing victim while they beat us up.. those days are over

[Anonymous]

What I find funny and ironical is that those abuser always seem to be more attractive to girls then correct and honest guys...

[feminismisnarcissism]

that's not "Funny" that's textbook shit. It works like this: The most dangerous people ARE the most charming-because they're fakes, they're not real, they've spent nearly all their life working particular skills: charm, manipulation, deception, triangulation, etc. etc etc.

So it's not that women are dumb as infer, it's that abusers are very tricky, slippery, manipulative people that fly under your radar... until it's too late. Learn the red flags, you don't want to learn the hard way, trust me.

[feminismisnarcissism]

as you infer*

[Opinion Owner]

@feminismisnarcissism one girl disliked this likes to be abused

[feminismisnarcissism]

lots of people like to be abused-they just don't know it. It's a childhood thing man. So take a woman who's father was abusive growing up-perhaps called her fat all the time, made her feel ugly, etc... when she meets a man as an adult-she subconsciously looks for her father-the model of male love she had instilled in her at an early age. So an abusive man, feels right to her-plus gives her a chance (this is all subconscious) to try to get redemption from that-to get that love from daddy she never got... from this new model daddy. Men do it too who were abused by their mothers, same shit. It's nothing to laugh about, it's kind of sad-that abusive parents can cage you for your whole life if you don't wake up and well, repair yourself-THEN seek a relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

@feminismisnarcissism i dont think it is normal liking to be abused and i dont want joking. about this just can't understand why sometimes girls like being abused and reject guys thqt treat them like princess with love respect caring etc...

[feminismisnarcissism]

because it's foreign and alien to them. they find abuse comfortable, familiar, safe even... strange but that's the human mind. It gravitates toward familiar territory. healthy people will seek healthy people. abused people seek abusive people. it's really that simple.

[Opinion Owner]

@feminismisnarcissism are you psycholog lol haha it doesn't make sense it is like telling a poor pwrson do you want to be rich of course they want. Also girls that are abused makes sense to eanr great guys but do3wnt happen so... can't understand

[feminismisnarcissism]

no it's not what they want.. they WANT a nice person, they WANT to be loved... but it's about synapses man-its' about what they know in their subconscious-what they seek out without meaning to, what they attract, what is familiar to them... the opposite of what they really want.

they seek out what they believe they deserve, what makes sense to them...

[Opinion Owner]

@feminismisnarcissism so what do you think can their subconcense be changed and their really love a nice guy or will they always seek abusers like the girl eho disliked my opinion

[feminismisnarcissism]

no they can definitely change... i did. I'm with a very nice woman now. But I didn't fix myself (not that im finished) til age 40... some never do. Some go hermit after a real bad one... too afraid it could happen again. But yes, the self can be repaired from even the deepest childhood abuse assuming theyre a real person, not a narcissist, psychopath, etc.. (which also stem from childhood abuse of some sort usually).

but one has to well, repair the holes in their network, get self worth, boundaries n shit... it's a process. one has to learn to like themself-THEN they can attract nice people. as long as they don't believe they have worth, theyll attract MORE predators, like moths to a flame. When my ex and I split... 3 predatory women showed up IMMEDIATELY in my life. And im not guessing, 2 disclosed they had been diagnosed with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) which kinda freaks you out-you find yourself SURROUNDED by vampires, and start feeling hopeless til you fix it

[John_Doesnt]

Just give him another chance ladies, everybody can change. I promise this is the time he'll change!

[JustWorthlessMe]

"He was so cute with his hazel eyes and dirty blonde hair..." Judging only by this instead of merits will get you that.

[Anonymous]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lY2yjAdbvdQ

[Anonymous]

They change 1% of the time. Not likely but possible :)

[Kantana]

Wrong.

[Opinion Owner]

@Kantana So they NEVER change?

[Kantana]

No they never change. And that 1% right there is what keeps getting girls into trouble.

[Opinion Owner]

@Kantana www.wsj.com/.../domestic-abusers-can-reform-studies-show-1410822557

[Kantana]

Your link is behind a paywall.

[Anonymous]

I always love a happy ending. :) Women getting abused... yea, I'm getting rock hard thinking about it right now. ^^

[Anonymous]

sounds like he wants a mom, not a girlfriend. immature guys are like that

[Anonymous]

wtf i could never do that to a girl i am with ur supposed to hurt the stuff that hurt her not help

[Saoirse_Nua]

I couldn't agree more - First strike, dump them

[Saoirse_Nua]

There are also other forms of abuse - Mental, emotional etc (No Chances)

[feminismisnarcissism]

emotional and psychological abuse are way worse than physical.

[Library]

Yeah bad people almost never change

[Sabretooth]

it's also about power.

[zagor]

But, "he was so cute..."

[Adigelunar]

great

[amorpheus69]

Amen.