Honesty ISN’T Always the Best Policy – Necessary Lies in Relationships (Page 2)
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Well I disagree people should always be honest no matter how much the truth hurts... if that person can not take the truth it is his/her problem.
^ Yeap!!!
At least in a relationship wise that is.
I get what people are saying, but I genuinely believe most of us are ignorant to how many times we tell white lies to avoid hurting someone's feelings. We all convince ourselves that we're totally honest, all the time, even in relationships, but I don't believe that there is anybody in these comments who has never done it themselves.
But like I said, ultimately you should aim to be in an honest relationship, but to go so far as to claim that no one EVER lies, or that it's terrible if you do even if it's small, to save a person's feelings, that's what I disagree with.
No. F*** you. I will never stipulate to this. Honesty is the only way I can navigate through your gender's web of lies all f***ing day.
All I'm seeing is a big s*** test.
Lol. Okay. <3
Now, I will use DISCRETION... and maybe tact, but I won't lie. F*** that.
Okie dokie.
Life is complicated enough as it is. Piling on doesn't solve anything. Duke said it best from City Slickers, the "one thing" in life that matters, honesty. Notice it was a MAN that said it.
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a33422-honesty-isn-t-always-the-best-policy-ii-an-explanation-picking-the
I wrote a follow up, if you're interested.
You know people can always point out my mistakes il thank them for it, they dont have to lie. But i have learned to only be honest when its appreciated. There is no point in being honest with someone when they can't handle it.
Nice mytake.
I actually feel the same, and like I've said, you should ultimately strive to be honest but there is nothing wrong with softening the blow for some.
I agree.
You can try to explain things in a nicer way, a respectful way.
But honestly is ALWAYS the best policy
I argue not necessarily always since you can't always base a singular policy without knowing the situation, but overall yes you should aim to be honest.
A lot of the times when people lie or 'sugar coat' things to not hurt someone's feelings, it doesn't do you or him any favors. You can help people better themselves this way.
I do actually suggest that you try to help better them, but sometimes helping a more soft-hearten person takes being... well a little more soft hearted. Don't get me wrong, I agree sometimes people need the unfiltered truth, hell arguably more than they need things sugar coated, but I won't say it is never appropriate.
Like the adding on weight, I'd say it in a nice way if he asks
But let's say someone has a big nose, and asks me... I'd get stuck to be honest lol
But if THEY ask, I can't lie
I see whatcha mean.
I don't think any of these except the first example are acceptable. Though I'd view that more as a kind truth. You should always be honest but don't be an ass.
I agree honestly. You should ideally be honest, my only point is sometimes, it's justifiable to tell a white lie. It doesn't instantly make you the scum of the earth. I personally choose honesty overall in my relationship because I'm lucky enough to be in a very good one, I just used as relateable examples as I could.
I get it's justifiable but it's never right, it's the easy way out. If you have to lie to stay in a relationship then it doesn't sound like a good one. I agree it can save a relationship but that doesn't really sound like one worth saving.
I get your perspective and I think this was well written, I've just always been against the whole "ignorance is bliss" thing.
No worries, I don't prefer any of these options I should say, I just see where they could have value and accept that as humans, this is something we do not often out of ill intention. I totally get it if people don't wanna do this, I personally make a habit not to myself, this was just a concept I was fascinated by.
Go figure, a woman advocating for "necessary lies."
Imagine the shitstorm if a guy wrote this mytake.
Did you read the whole thing or just the title? Lol.
EVERYBODY lies. Dunno how could anyone dares to object the veracity of this take.
Nice take! But I honestly couldn't lie without feeling guilty the truth always comes out with me😂
No worries my friend. Like I address in the beginning of my take (and keep repeating, I know lol) is that ultimately you want to aim to be honest.
No problem! And haha yeah I agree
I disagree. When I lie, I get in trouble or it comes back to bite me. No thanks I learned in my childhood to not lie at all.
Again, I am not necessarily advocating that people SHOULD lie, what I am saying though is that it's not as evil as everybody thinks.
eh, i think it is.
I don't think sparing someone's feelings is, but to each their own.
you can still spare their feelings by wording it right
Well I actually provide examples of that as well, and do explicitly say that is more often than not what you should do. But you have to keep in mind that people are all different and not everyone is going to take it lightly even if you try to put it kindly. Such as a former anorexic who puts on weight later in life, it's going to be extremely difficult to have a discussion with her about it without her feelings being hurt.
i understand. but i would not be able to tell my future significant other a lie. its not in my nature.
No worries I totally understand, I'm not saying you SHOULD. For me personally I am honest with my partner as well, though in beginning (such as the egg example lol) I had told baby lies so not to hurt his feelings. But we're very up front with one another.
i must have misinterpreted your take by the title, I am sorry
Oh no worries I realize that people aren't going to get it. I did my best to try and explain that in the beginning and at the end of the take but I had a feeling people would see the title and get that idea. The title is intended to catch the interest of the readers though.
Coolies
I try to be as honest as possible so people hate me ohhh well
"Now, before anybody harps on me, NO: I am not saying you should be a pathological liar when you’re in a relationship, I’m not even saying you SHOULD lie if you can avoid it."
No reason to hate you for that.
I totally agree with you.
What about lying about relationship history, if you've never had a relationship before?
I'm currently in a relationship, as I stated in my mytake. That truly depends on the situation honestly. I can see if someone had a "phase" if they aren't totally honest about their number, assuming they're clean I'd get why people do it. However all in all I don't advocate you starting a relationship on a foundation of lies.
Even though the title might not suggest it I am not advocating that people go out and start lying to their SO's. I intended only to give a different perspective on the idealistic view that everyone should/is always 100% honest and this is the most positive way to go about things. Realistically, it isn't always.
No I totally got what you said. I read your take. What I'm saying is I've dated many women and am not a virgin but never had a relationship. Not that no one wanted me but the ones who did I didn't want and vice versa. I wasn't gonna settle either. Now i don't make it a big deal, I don't volunteer that info, and usually say I've dated but nothing serious if asked.
I mean it doesn't keep me from trying honestly but the only question is will it be a deal breaker and scare others off? I've told some I've dated but nothing serious when I'd asked and they didn't care but do others?
That's kinda what I'm saying when honesty isn't the best policy.
It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.
Well that's good
Having said that, I've been honest about everything else
I thought honesty was always the best policy..
Well to each their own but if you read the take, you know my opinions on it. Ultimately honesty is best, but it isn't inherently terrible and unforgivable to tell a lie.
Be an honest man, but not "too" honest man.
@YourFutureEx I try and be as honest as I can without getting decked
Or deked if you're Canadian!
The truth hurts only those who are weak.
Doesn't mean you gotta hurt the weak.
@YourFutureEx indeed, which is why I'd rather not say anything than tell some convinient lie they want to hear.
good
good job
good take