20 Struggles of Being in an Interracial Relationship 💔

Some of you might remember my previous MyTake. This is basically a sequel so grab your reading glasses and enjoy.

My previous MyTake: 11 Reasons Why I Support Interracial Relationships

Although I love interracial relationships, there are struggles just as there are none at times. Here are a few of the struggles:

1. They get dirty looks for being together.

Walking down the street or even at school is pretty difficult to do without getting at least half a dozen of hateful looks.

2. It's surprising to find out who doesn't and doesn't accept the relationship

As sad as it sounds, those who love them most might not accept the relationship. These people include families and friends but a completely random stranger could accept the relationship. This feeling truly stings.

3. No one thinks they are together

Just because they are in an interracial relationship no one usually guesses they are together. When people do find out they act so astonished and confused.

An example is I distinctly remember going to the zoo with my family when I was younger. I went with my parents, my brothers, my uncle and his Latina wife. That's six black people and one Latina. The man at the booth automatically gave us the price of a family of 6. We then had to tell him that the Latina woman behind us was in fact a part of us. And I remember the mans saying 'She just doesn't look like you guys'

People have to often take a double take when they find out when they are together.


4. When people hit on you or your partner because they don’t think you’re a couple.

The funny thing is this happens whilst you are next to your partner.
"Who's your friend next to you?"
"...That's my boyfriend"


5. The children's self identity

Children won't be sure how to identify themselves. This can also be more confusing if the child is born in a completely different country to where both the parents are from.

6. And no one thinks the children belongs to them

Just because their children don't look like the parents.

7. When you first start dating, each other's race is all anyone can talk about.

People find the news astonishing and they act like they haven't seen anything like this happen before. The attention they get when they first start dating is immense.


8. People think you're "self-hating" and assume you have something against dating someone from your race.

9. The fear of their partners parents not accepting them because of their race.

10. You have to get comfortable with standing out

Imagine a white wife going with her husband to visit his family in Africa. They are going to end up standing out at sometime...

11. Being constantly told the babies will look beautiful

You might wonder how this could ever be a problem. But hearing it 24/7 will bound to get irritating.


12. Meeting the racist friend/ family member.

That's always fun isn't it, when your fear just came true.


13. Rude comments that are said to your face.


14. Some people will assume that you only like people of that race (or it's a fetish).

15. People give you "compliments" they would not give to other couples


16. They get really excited when you see another interracial couple...even on tv because sometimes they feel different and isolated.


17. Questions like 'Does your mother know?'


18. Questions like, "Why can't you just date inside your race?"

19. The stereotypes.

Not all black girls are after a white guy. Not all Asian women are after white guys and not all black dudes are after white girls.

20. When couple pics require more work than you’re used to.

❤️ I hope that you liked this MyTake. Obviously, they have ups and downs but in the end if it's love...it's love and it's worth it. But remember all relationships do have their pros and cons but once again....they are gorgeous and kind of signify unity. Please share, like and send positive opinions on this my take.... :) That would mean a lot to me. Also thank you all for the support and if you haven't seen the previous MyTake you might want to check it out❤️

#love


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What Guys Said 25

  • So true XD. I know the pain. Especially number 20 as my girlfriend whos a professional photographer she always complains when i suggest taking a selfie somewhere as it often takes about 100 pictures or more of attempts to get it right XD without getting a weird light color streak on her due to her color tones of her face arms and just general body is like a tan rainbow. LOL which makes it always so complicated as phones and cameras dont know what to focus on when she does a selfie of us. XD.

    Awesome Mytake I can completely relate.

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  • Usually, if the gal is Asian, nobody bats an eye. They just think I won't get anywhere with her, because why would she want to stay with me? A true Indian (either definition) is hard to find where I live, so that's a non-factor. If she's just as white as I am, they nitpick every detail of her lifestyle, especially her family's wealth. The only time I really have to worry, is if the gal is black or Filipina.

    This is because I have a second cousin that got screwed over by a Filipina. And because the black gangs used to stalk my grandpa on the freeway 50-some years ago back when he sold meat for a living. So now, it's as if everyone from those groups is now held in suspicion because of what a handful of a-holes did 30-50 years ago.

    My current gal is from China. Not just ethnically Chinese, but nationally too. Nobody else in my family thinks much of it, because they know it'll be a while before either her or I can afford to travel. Plus, this keeps me from trying to search for a date locally... which could lead to all sorts of trouble.

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    • What about Filipina?

    • The woman in question used the guy. Married him just to get the green card. And then, she manipulated events so that she could convince a judge to let her keep all of her things, and 90% of his things. She milked nearly all his money too. And then flew off into the sunset, laughing all the way to the bank. He couldn't afford a better lawyer, and the judge was an idiot.

      Therefore, the guy despaired of life itself. He even attempted suicide at one point, and then became permanently disabled.

      Since then, my one aunt blows a gasket if I and a gal from the Philippines get too close. She's convinced that somehow, history will repeat itself. She even thinks that if I'm too close to the gal from China, then the MSS is using her to plant a tracer and spy on me. Somehow. Not sure why I'd be worth their energy.

  • Oke well see I`m white and my ex was an African girl. When we started dating we did get weird looks and comments but they stopped the moment I gave them a certain look. They never again said anything and also her she doesn`t let anyone walk all ober her. We both used to be fucking badasses lol
    My parents had no problem with her and she only had her grandmother who did sometimes had a problem with me, because i was white but the happines of my ex was more important to her. Also 11. had no problem with that because they are right, my babies would look fucking awesome.

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  • i'm glad some of those negatives i have not personally encountered although i know that it does occur for some

    my wife does sadly get the question about our daughter being hers, whether she adopted or not. not frequently but she has gotten it.

    perhaps i live in an area that is more progressive and open minded so we don't face a lot of the negative aspects of interracial relationships but i definitely know they exist out there

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    • What's her ethnic background?

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    • no your wife, your daughter and your wife must look very different if people can't tell it's her child.

    • @Hemlock not necessarily. children can look more like one parent or another right? my daughter, in my opinion most resembles women on my mothers side of the family. i don't think my daughter looks much at all like my wife (who is swedish and german primarily)

  • Hmmm. . . some of these are new to me. 5 is interesting. But I did not know about 6, 7, 15, 16, and 20.

    But I asked a question on your other take. You don't think that one of the issues is that we are kind of stuck with this term "interracial relationships". When you are stuck dealing with that term race, then you end up with the photos you have in your post. Just a bunch of "White" and "Black" people.

    I think the focus should be on intercultural couples. Well, that is unless you really feel that these issues involving "race" are unique.

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  • Yeah I hear about all of these negativities that bad apples be bringing to other people because they have nothing better to do than to make someone else feel bad. I'm so happy about people having interracial relationships with other people; because it shows that 2 people from different races really do love each other no matter what they look like. If most people don't like it then they should not pay no attention to the relationships to begin with & worry about their own lives. I'm all in for having an interracial relationship with a woman soon when I get the chance too in the future. I forgot to mension that I've seen many movies that had interracial couples in them & it made me happy just by seeing them. One movie I would like to point out is: "Save The Last Dance."

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    • Don't you think they should have more interracial couples in movies?

    • Yeah I think they should in order for those people to give out a powerful positive message & speech about how 2 people from 2 different races can overcome the odds & love each other no matter who they are & where they came from. Because setting our differences aside will make things a whole lot better for all of us.

  • There's quite a bit of truth to this list of challenges that interracial couples face, but it obscures that a lot of people will be supportive, many won't care either way, and only some will give you a problem.
    When I last dated interracially 20 years ago, I did encounter a lot of these negative things when I had black girlfriends (I am a light-skinned Hispanic), but most people were OK with it. I didn't experience any of these problems when I had Asian girlfriends, and overall, regardless of race, I had mostly positive experiences despite the relationships ending.

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  • Yeah, uh... almost none of these are true. I'm in an interracial relationship, whatever that's supposed to mean, and no one around me has been anything other than supportive and whatever. It's a normal relationship; why wouldn't it be? The only one that's even *kind of* true is 15.

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  • I've only been in interracial relationships a few times so I didn't really experience any of those struggles except my dad is a biggot and he never met any of them.

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  • Most of these points are based on your own personal experiences of being in an interracial couple, not anyone else's, so it's a bit disingenuous.

    I was in one for just over 3 years and was never asked questions like those - ever.

    No one gave us a dirty look, no one made us remotely uncomfortable.

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    • If you're a white guy and a black girl couple, people are going to stare.

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    • @ManaX yes, I'm from America, unfortunately.

    • @Beautyinall unfortunately?

      You live in, arguably, the most prosperous country in the world.

  • Loved your MyTake, I agree wholesomely 100 %. Especially this one- 8. People think you're "self-hating" and assume you have something against dating someone from your race.

    Also, I'm curious, what did you mean by, 19. The stereotypes.
    Not all black girls are after a white guy. Not all Asian women are after white guys and not all black dudes are after white girls.''

    Like what were you trying to say? I'm trying to understand.

    But although, I felt more close to the words htan the pictures, I've read something about black men with a latina, but mainly saw pictures of black womeen with white guys (some european some maybe amerian guys).

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    • yooo i wasn't saying anything... it's just hard to find like hd photos of other different race couples

  • This seems entirely true 35 years ago when I was in high school. Not so much now. Went through 10 kinds of hell dating a black woman in 1982.

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    • what happened?

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    • I agree, but the "Sellout" they really called him sellout? I usually get the "Self hate" bullshit when I even remotely say I'm attracted to a girl that's not my race/ethnicity

    • @lacorine197 Black men called her a sellout. White and black women didn't have a problem with it.

  • I view this subject this way :

    if you love someone from a different background/race... yeah its a tough word but it exists, we have all colors, different ethincities so yeah...

    anyways, if you ever love someone who happened to love you as well and you started dating, having sex... etc then please make sure its gonna lead to something serious and marriage because regardless of what race you come from or who you are in most cases your own people will hate the idea of you dating someone from a different race and will avoid dating you, so those who think they can date all colors of the ranibow and then come back to their own people... it does work like that fellas.

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  • >> 11. Being constantly told the babies will look beautiful

    I don't really find a girl in #6 beautiful.

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    • the mum or the baby?
      coz they're both beautiful

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    • And mixed kids are beautiful... Ofc u wouldn't know anything about beauty
      I mean look at u.

      Now stop talking to 14 yr old's
      ur being a pedo
      and go back to house (which ur parents were very excited for u to move into... coz they couldn't wait to get rid of u) and count bills with ur boring life. Get a life and stop talking to children. Go knit or something... I heard older people love doing such adventurous activities
      I mean two sharp sticks made out of metal... wut a hazard. FUN!

  • you mistake the invention of races of white and black as a real thing and that's why you've already failed

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  • LOL, #20 reminded me of when I was at a club and three girls asked me to take a picture of them together. One was white, one was Asian and one was black. It took me three tries to get the black girl to show up as more than eyes and teeth.

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  • I feel this happens in smaller cities and rural towns, when i lived in NY I had A black girlfriend, then a Chinese girlfriend and never had any problems

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  • There are some that be about same race couples and they are: 1, 2, 3, 10, 11, 13, 15, 17, 19 and maybe 20.

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  • Number twenty is awesom

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  • so, pretty much all the things i gotta deal with now-hell, i don't have to do anything.

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What Girls Said 24

  • My fiancé is a white guy, I identify with a lot of these. Some I don't though. Prob the biggest two I've noticed is people constantly talking about how beautiful our kids will be. Its more annoying than anything else but I don't see it as a big deal now. When you are first dating and some talks about your potential for beautiful kids it really is pretty weird though. Second one is traveling overseas in Asian countries. Women with white guys tend to be heavily stigmatized. Again, doesn't affect me.

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  • I'm in an interracial relationship and I appreciate your article.

    I remember I had so many stares while I was out in public holding hands with my man. Like "Jesus.. this Asian bitch must be a gold digger to have found a handsome blond blue eyed man? Can't be the girlfriend. Just a sidehoe. Ew, look at her".

    Even the receptionists gave me those judgmental sort of stare as I asked for the access card to our hotel room.

    And yes it sucks to be looked upon as self-hating. Or white worshipper. But people will keep on hating and stupidly believing stereotypes for no reason. Ultimately what matters is unconditional love despite colour or race. Open your heart and mind. Life's short.

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    • I agree, there will be people who still hate... even a thousand years in the future when interracial relationships are normal. There will still be those people

  • Nice Take.
    I've never been in a interracial relationship, but I've heard about those struggles.
    I'm black, I'm attracted to white guys, but I think I could never be in a relationship with one. I wouldn't be strong or "brave" enough to deal with his family and friends. It would be too much for me.
    Not to mention, that he would be ashamed to be seen with me and he would hide me from his family and friends.
    However, I have no issues with interracial couples.

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    • My husband is white and I have met all of his family. Some of his family is very nice. I feel a racist vibe from his brother and parents though. Don't let racist family prevent you from happiness.

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    • hmmmm, then don't worry about it. i'm pretty sure if your family didn't like your partner you would do something about and the same with him and his family.

    • Well, I'm not worried because I probably will never date or even date a white guy. I guess he would choose his family over me, always.

  • I've been in two interracial relationships and I experienced more stares because my partners were older than me.
    We experienced much of the things you mentioned above.
    But my Asian partner and I suffered massive cultural differences he was raised a Muslim and that religion is a way of life rather than just a following.
    You know the rules with eating, bathroom, roles of the woman and man. Now although he desperately wanted to break out of that and he was modern in certain aspects he wanted to carry on with those that were of benefit to him.
    They just didn't work for me. And in the long run discussions about religious beliefs for our children was tough, he didn't follow the religion but wanted his children raised Muslim.
    He was confused.

    As for my Irish Guy we were perfect at the beginning I loved that he adored me but quickly it started to feel like a fetish.
    And I felt like a trophy. Everything very quickly fell apart because for months he'd been pretending to like certain foods and suffering including my cooking because it was too spicy.
    And due to his older views on the world his opinions of black people came across very racist. Which was scary for me I mean we could potentially have black children, would he grow them to hate a part of themselves...
    My experiences were very unusual to me especially as I had white & Asian friends, race had never been an issue, but it was probably more generational than anything else.

    Don't get me wrong ordinarily these individuals wouldn't be seen as racists but delving into their minds and working things between us revealed certain prejudices.

    And that was more because they were successful in their respective fields, dropping 'certain' black traits seemed to be in their eyes the way to be successful...

    In terms of my family and friends no-one made it obvious that disliked they were from another race. They took the time to talk to my partners and treated them with respect. My grandparents were concerned about the Asian guy more because he is a Muslim and questioned if I would leave (my non following) Christian faith.

    But they loved him and were saddened when we split. Looking back he was the most caring. But he also had this dominant (not up for discussion) side behind closed doors which I've now learned a lot of men have. A lot of his views just didn't go with mine.

    Relationships are tough anyway but when you bring different races into the mix you really gotta be in love to make it work. Both will make sacrifices.

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  • I hate when people who secretly prefer the other race still are racist towards that race, makes it look like you're acting out your desire to be them, by being with them. Like a guy on this thread who says his wife is of another race, he blocked me because I didn't agree that white people are to be blamed for the state of the black community, but he has a white wife. He must hate her and treat her bad, just don't O. J her bruh, bye :)

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  • Oh my gosh all of this is so true. I'm black and my fiancé is white and we definitely get the dirty looks, the inappropriate questions, etc. I feel like we have it worse than other interracial couples because of our age difference (he's 36). I just can't believe it's 2017 and people are STILL shocked by interracial relationships.

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    • Ikr. I don't think anyone is getting over it anytime soon. Not even a hundred years into the future. I swear there is always going to be a few people like that.

  • girl you are right, i don't date my race and im black and emo. my boyfriend is white and mom told him and his brothers date a black and i disown you, that bitch is racist and i don't play when hoes hit him up i would kill them, idc if people got a problem with me dating a white because black people are kinda known to be stupid but if i get stopped by the police i have my boyfriend right? i support interracial relationships my mom supports them my dad supports them. It may seem in a way that their child don't seem like their other parent but blame genetics. People only hate because they get jealous. this is my opinion and i stick with it.

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  • Lol I was looking at 20 and thought, man that picture is to washed out on that guy then I saw the other ones.

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  • 3d

    i normally have to use my iphone light when getting a photo taken. that's also an issue of being the only black friend too. I remember when I tried to get a group photo with friends and I put on my light. I told them that coz I'd come out darker; everyone laughed at me coz in their minds they were thinking; "obviously... you are black." So i just brushed it off and then they noticed that I wasn't showing up in the photos clearly... and now they were laughing at the photos whenever they took them. So i just regretted ever pointing it out and just decided to avoid group photos.

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  • 5d

    It is unfortunate that much of humanity and societies have not matured even in the year 2017 to understand their racist behavior is pathetic and wrong. Fortunately, I have lived in other parts of the world where its is rare to here about negative racist behaviors. Again, unfortunate the USA is still struggling with maturity in certain parts of the country. I have mixed family in another country and they dont have these racist issues.

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  • I can agree on some of these, but not in my area. It's very common to see interracial relationships. I come from a small town that is very diversed.

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  • Hahahaha these are so true. To make things worse for me, my boyfriend isn’t only a different race, he’s also from a different country. His family is super nice though so I can’t complain.

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  • What bothers me are the stares in public and the older crowd of people go up to you and have these uncomfortable conversations. What also bothers me is not finding as many mixed couples like myself.

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    • Yeah that is pretty rude of them to stare like that. In a sense I get what u mean. Me and my 'boyfriend' walk together at school. All the students say it's cute and are totally supportive. But we get really nasty and uncomfortable looks from teachers.

  • Should be titled '20 Struggles of Being in an Interracial Relationship in America'

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    • never been to the US tho

    • You're young, the bubble you live in is tiny when you're 14. Kids will judge other kids for everything e. g. picking on the kid with glasses (at 12), what adult stares at a guy with glasses when they're 21?

    • loool kids get picked on for having glasses... where do u live?

  • Thankfully I haven't had these problems in any of my interracial relationships.

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    • You are very lucky and i hope you continue to not face these problems

  • I want to be black and I'm white.

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    • I hope u get ur black :)
      I want a white guy and I'm black.

  • 4d

    Bruh that last one had me weeaakkk cuz the lighting issue

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  • 6d

    I've had 12 and 14 happen to me but that's it. Most of the guys I dated have been white but I don't think I've gotten most of what's on this Take.

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  • I am mixed and I don't have problem to identify myself o. o''

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  • You aren't even a thing yet but ur here on g@g talkin like ur in a relationship
    lmaooooo

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