How to Deal With Your Partner Having Trust Issues

[CrazyyChick]

Trust can take years to develop, but it can be destroyed in a second. People with trust issues most of the time had negative expiriences themselves in the past OR they've seen people that they dearly love getting "betrayed". For example, children of divorced parents are more likely to have trust issues in future relationships because they lived the "betrayal" through their parents.

Here is how to deal when your partner has trust issues.

1. Realize that it's not about you.

When you realize that your partner does not trust you fully, at first you think that you did something wrong. It's the normal thing to do, but you have to realize that this isn't about you. They have had these issues A LONG TIME before you came around, and they can't just let their guard down even if you never gave them an excuse not to trust you. These people lived their life that way, and you are an important part of it. So do not take it personal.

2. Support them but do not try to fix their problem.

You are important for them, you really are. But you can't "fix" their trust problems. First of all it is not your job to do it and secondly you just can't. What you can do is be there for them when they need you, and support them, this is the only help that you can give them and believe me it's more than enough.

3. Be patient and trustworthy.

Since you can't stop your partner from having trust issues, what you can do is be honest and dependable. If you are being right, they might not show it at first but they will feel much better. Be affecionate with them and do not let them have second thoughts. When your partner is having a hard time it won't just pass overnight so you have to be patient and understanding.

4. Do not give up on them.

Some moments will be difficult, and as a normal person you might just not want to deal with this anymore and express it. Probably after the intense thoughts will be gone you'll change your mind but the damage will be already done. If you make them even for a second believe that you are leaving, they realize how easy is for you to just disappear from their life and how painful it is. So even if you come back they will push you away, because they don't like how much impact you had on them. So if you want to start a relationship like that be ready (as much as you can).

5. Do not let them control you.

You have your own life and your own boundaries. Sometimes trust issues will lead to him/her try to control you. You should never put your own happiness lower than others no matter how much you love them. Your goal is to win this not let it win you.

-The End

[Anonymous]

I have trust issues. I trust easily, but as soon as that trust is broken even once, it's extremely hard to regain.

I've been walked out on. Abused. Went through things no one should have to go through for the first 14 years of my life. I have ptsd and it doesn't help when you're with someone, you look into their eyes, then suddenly you're flashed back into one of those moments, where the one who hurt you, is looking into your eyes as he's molesting you and realizes you're awake. To that moment where it seems even though he stopped and things ended when you woke up, it was where you life turned to hell.

I see that when I look into my SOs brown eyes sometimes. The same color as his eyes. and it hurts so bad sometimes. It doesn't make me less of a person because I have trust issues. It's just because I have been through things other people may not have gone through, so they don't understand me.

I always make it clear from the start that I have trust issues. I don't need someone else walking out on me after they find out. I guess it's a test of sorts. If you leave when you find out, you weren't to be trusted anyways. If you stay, that earns you a tiny bit of trust, that the next person doesn't get.

[Anonymous]

One thing I've learned is to not just give in to them, they have to learn to trust, and not use their trust issues as a crutch.

An ex wanted full access to all my eletronic communication and to read my mail, blamed it on her trust issues. I said no, you have to learn to trust me, me giving you that just feeds your issues. It worked amazingly well, and over months she improved dramatically.

[Logorithim]

Excellent points. If they are being irrational, do not try to reason with them. Setting boundaries is especially good advice.

[Anonymous]

i guess to a point but once they start projecting crap other people did onto you despite you not doing these things, its a huge problem. and p probably deal breaker if they dont try and hear you out. bc its just dismissive and disrespectful.

can you answer this if you get chance?

" I am in love with you.. If you want to 'try' i'm willing to make an effort for us to be together". Would you say yes or no. (please read below)? ↗

[Sinister]

Where the fuck was this take like 2yrs ago? GHHHHHHAWWWWWWD!
(gains composure)
Great take, I can see where I had made my mistake, for patience is not my virtue.

[Anonymous]

Very good. Unfortunately, I don't think anyone can be trusted these days. You may think someone is a friend or an innocent bystander, you turn away and they stab you in the back (not literally). Dangerous century we live in.

[SirRexington]

Great MyTake. It delves into the psychology that people need to understand about each other. Coming from someone with massive anxiety i am happy to read this.

[whatthehellwasthat]

Realizing its about them is the hard part. You may automatically feel like you have to gain their trust, and ultimately you do.

[scooogy]

I recently thought about that, since my main reason simply was that I always thought I'd have to explain to others why I did or did not do certain things with my girl, but that's also difficult to keep in my if I'd be with one and look her in the eyes and want to only concentrate on her at that moment.

[hannahbanana11]

This was great, thank you. I myself have trust issues but nah I don't control. But I'm glad the guy I'm talking to seems to be doing as you say the partner should try to do.

[Halucinator]

Nice take again girl!
You're gonna be an editor soon if you'll keep this good work
by the way my strategy is abit different
1) Go to them, hug them and pull out a dagger, swing it around and BAM!! No partner=No trust issues🤣🤣😜

[Ms_Meaghan]

Trust is earned. Could take a while but so worth it in the end.

[Wollu]

Girls, don't be fickle. Stick to your promises and you will earn trust. Don't blame it on him. Men hate to feel lack of trust.

[musical_kittycat]

This is good advice. Thank you. I will keep this in mind for when I have a partner. #ForeverAlone

[jacquesvol]

Help her /him to get over the insecurities at the base of their trust issue

[xZoeyx]

I'm the one with the trust issues lol. Wonderful take!

[Chantel77]

I'm the one with trust issues and patience is a virtue

[Anonymous]

my favorite is not giving up on them. Too many people just walk away the second anything gets hard these days

[loveslongnails]

Call me harsh, but I don't have YEARS to deal with someone's trust issues because they got shit on once in a relationship. Get what I mean?

[Anonymous]

you do the same thing i did... leave. trust is a huge thing of me and if you don't trust me then I'm out.

[Nice222]

It’s easier to just find someone who does not have trust issues. Too many head games.

[Anonymous]

Nice, this is a big pressure and i don't know if it can be !