Am I Ready to Move in With My Significant Other? Let's Count the Reasons!

[ariadneR]

So you and your significant other are thinking about moving in together. Congratulations!

Things are going well, you feel more in love then ever, and it seems like the right thing to do. Feels so natural. But here’s the thing, this isn’t a decision to be made lightly. This is a major decision. “How will I know? I here you say. Here are a few signs that say you are ready to move in with your significant other

You trust one another

You know each other is not going to run away and leave you in a lurch. You can count on one another and you always have each others back.

You've talked about it thoroughly

This isn’t something which requires a 5 minute convo. It's something that needs planning. You have to consider all the options. Living with someone you get to learn all their idiosyncrasies. Some things may bother the hell out of you and vice versa. But at the end of the day its all about talking it through and working together.

This brings me to my next point...

You are both working towards a common goal

Sleeping over at each others places all the time may make it seem like you are already living together. However, whatever the reasons are for wanting to move in together, it could turn out horrible, everything you expected or maybe even better than you could ever had imagined. You have to be prepared for all the possibilities. Whether good, bad or horrifyingly ugly.

You have traveled together and had a good time

With all the planning it takes to go on holiday together and the time you have spent together on your vacay should give you pretty clear sign on how well you two mesh together. If you are constantly fighting for the week you are together – then that’s gonna be a no from me dawg

You are past the honeymoon phase

Its not all I love you snookums and I I love you more honey buns. Honeymoon phases tend to last 6 months to a year, and some girls may feel like “Oh my god, its time to move in. I hate being alone”” if you want to move in with your s/o, because you feel alone, then its not the right time.

You know what each others deal breakers are

And they have been clearly defined. You both don’t do things to instigate the other, because lets be real, that is just childish.

You have survived a major blow out and lived to tell the tale.

Yeah that fight that you thought would end your relationship? Well it didn’t and that’s a good thing. The fact that you can talk through major disagreements and sort them out and fix them, proves that you guys can handle the bigger problems that may arise. Its actually a good tool that will come in pretty handy later on down the road.

You see their family as an extension of your own.

You have met their family and they have met yours. Their family is a major part of who your partner is. So it would be nice to have some common respect for them.

Talk finances.

You need to know how finances are gonna be split up. One of you may make more than the other. Remember fair does not always mean equal. One of you may pay rent while the other pays the utilities. Whatever the arrangement is, you have to talk about it – as I have said before

Moving in together is exciting, fresh and new. Whatever you decide, you are ready for it!

[thecd1979]

Yeah, this is most definitely not a decision to just be made on a whim because it feels right and is convenient. It's easy to get caught up in those feeling and just let all common sense go out the window. It's what happened to me. When I was younger I moved in with my significant other after knowing her for maybe a month. It felt like to the right thing, she lived just a few blocks away from school, as where at the time I lived on the other side of town. I was over there all the time anyway so why not, right. It was great for the first two months or so. At first it was sex everyday, sometimes multiple times a day, sharing how my day went, cooking good dinners and things were good. That newness eventually wears of and reality hits, with bills to pay, unexpected expenses, toilets to clean and responsibilities. When that other person isn't pulling their weight there's a resentment and that's when things change and get complicated. I learned about this the hard way, and why it's important to take your time and really get to know someone before you make such an important decision.

[LucieJosette]

i basically already live with my girlfriend, we just dont live at the same house. we still live with our parents. but we sleepover at each others houses all the time and have been doing that since we little.

[Logorithim]

Taken alltogether, that would be the textbook case for moving in together. Where I live, the high cost of living would probably cause people to do it before all of those conditions are in place.

Good Take.

[JimRSmith]

I'd agree with all of that, but also throw in that you need to be comfortable giving the other one their space.

That's often a source of friction and something every person should be clear about.

[JulieXO]

It's really hard to know when it's the right time in my opinion. Even if all the things you mentioned check out, there are still a bunch of reasons it could go wrong. I will wait a looong time before I move in with a guy.

[Jxy95]

So true and I think you should move in together to get to know each other more before marriage. I know some people who would not move in until after marriage which is actually not that great because you guys might not like living together

[Tomblebee]

Beware: As I overheard on a comedy sketch: marrying someone you already lived with is like wrapping your own bicycle up for your own birthday...

[zagor]

And marrying someone you never lived with is like accepting a job without knowing what it is or how much it pays.

[Darjeelingjelly]

@zagor Im dyin, lol, I could never marry someone before I lived with them lololol

[Halligan]

@Darjeelingjelly I’ve done both. Guess which one I’m still happily married to

[Tomblebee]

The one you tried living with first?
My conclussion: don't bother :)

[Halligan]

I married the first without moving in. He was abusive and I’d known him for 10 years prior. Knew second husband shorter, but know him better overall. Go figure. We moved in right before getting engaged.

[Tomblebee]

@Halligan
How much was it?

[Halligan]

How much was what?

[Tomblebee]

@Halligan The wedding?

[Tomblebee]

I get what the mytake was about.. I wanted to move in with my boyfriend before our first kiss. All them irks on the table.

[Halligan]

@Tomblebee as in cost? I eloped with first husband.
Second husband and I had a tiny wedding with just our parents present and a small reception and pot luck party. I think my dress was the most expensive thing. Didn’t have a dress the first “wedding”.

[Tomblebee]

@Halligan For a moment there i thought.. what nUdE? But I don't know what elloping is so i guess it's that.

[Halligan]

We ran away and got married somewhere else... granted in a blizzard, in jeans and a sweater.

[Tomblebee]

@Halligan romantic...

[Halligan]

The blizzard was unplanned and we swung with it. Getting married in six below wasn’t romantic, but I’ll never forget it.

[Tomblebee]

@Halligan It was a sarcastic romantic without a capital letter... and yeah.. I'll bet...
So what happened to the first one?

[Halligan]

Abuse. A narcissist

[Tomblebee]

@Halligan Yeah.. but where is he now?

[Halligan]

Living on the other side of the country.

[Tomblebee]

@Halligan Happily? Or was he put to shame?

[Halligan]

Unhappily, he’s stationed there. He wants to be closer to his bio family. Let me specify that doesn’t include his kids.

[bubble_tea]

Very good take! The "past the honeymoon phase" is really important even if you check all other points.

[torken]

I think this is a pretty level-headed list. Especially the family part

[John_Doesnt]

Finances and refrigerator arguments are my most important topics to discuss. Nobody better eat all my thin mints!

[veronicalynn]

Good myTake definitely covered a lot of good points

[Max_winner1]

Leave a box of condoms and some change of cloths that's it.

[OfDeath]

You forgot have had sex with eachother and liked it.

[old-guys-rule]

Don't do it! Keep your own place and just leave a toothbrush and a change of underwear at your s. o.'s place. You'll be much happier. Trust me.

[UGLYBROWNGUY2]

It sounds like you are in my opinion

[Anonymous]

if you dont marry thats still fornication.

[Anonymous]

Cool advice, I like it :)

[Anonymous]

Good take, but it's still a scary step!

[ariadneR]

Agreed

[RedRobin]

Nice take

[Psycho21924]

Nice take

[Anonymous]

Good.

[CT_CD]

Very nice