What are your requirements to move in with a partner?
I know I am living my best life living alone and I don't feel like my boyfriend is ready to actually share the responsibilities of living with someone. He feels like he is ready but I don't see it. Then, I have done it once and got burned so, I am happy not trying again at the moment, I am scared and I don't feel the desire right now.
I honestly don't know if I am just ignoring a lot of "red" flags but I don't feel like him and I are compatible to live together at the moment despite having a better relationship.
I fear that he might be a bit controling despite not being an a-hole about it, he has a hard time understanding that I have different needs from him and doing his best so that some of them are met (as I do for him in our relationship).
For example, I eat every 3-6h and he asked me if it was his responsibility to feed me.
For context: I often joke around when it comes to food but I usually ask him for us to cook in the evening when we spend weekends together. To avoid overspending and all. We've argued about the fact that when he has me over, he doesn't do efforts to have food in his place (the fridge is literally empty), so I end up staying hungry, spending on restaurants or having to bring my own food to avoid not eating, eating very unbalanced meals or having to go to the supermarket with him to buy groceries. I do it willingly but this gives me an idea that he don't take the wellbeing of others into consideration. He's scared that he'll have to cook often but I find it normal. Worst thing is, I know that when I cook or encourage cooking.. he would eat despite him saying he's not hungry and pushing me not to cook and even eat since :"I am not hungry". It's not that he isn't hungry, he just doesn't want to do it.
I don't think we have the same expectations of cohabitation. He wants to avoid doing anything that's will not make him happy when I know that we can't always do everything that makes us happy.
I know I am living my best life living alone and I don't feel like my boyfriend is ready to actually share the responsibilities of living with someone. He feels like he is ready but I don't see it. Then, I have done it once and got burned so, I am happy not trying again at the moment, I am scared and I don't feel the desire right now.
I honestly don't know if I am just ignoring a lot of "red" flags but I don't feel like him and I are compatible to live together at the moment despite having a better relationship.
I fear that he might be a bit controling despite not being an a-hole about it, he has a hard time understanding that I have different needs from him and doing his best so that some of them are met (as I do for him in our relationship).
For example, I eat every 3-6h and he asked me if it was his responsibility to feed me.
For context: I often joke around when it comes to food but I usually ask him for us to cook in the evening when we spend weekends together. To avoid overspending and all. We've argued about the fact that when he has me over, he doesn't do efforts to have food in his place (the fridge is literally empty), so I end up staying hungry, spending on restaurants or having to bring my own food to avoid not eating, eating very unbalanced meals or having to go to the supermarket with him to buy groceries. I do it willingly but this gives me an idea that he don't take the wellbeing of others into consideration. He's scared that he'll have to cook often but I find it normal. Worst thing is, I know that when I cook or encourage cooking.. he would eat despite him saying he's not hungry and pushing me not to cook and even eat since :"I am not hungry". It's not that he isn't hungry, he just doesn't want to do it.
I don't think we have the same expectations of cohabitation. He wants to avoid doing anything that's will not make him happy when I know that we can't always do everything that makes us happy.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
If you’re this apprehensive about it, and this isn’t a new feeling but something you struggle with and argue with him about then take moving in together off your list right now. In fact it sounds like you’ve got bigger fish to fry. Your boyfriend seems very childlike in general but mostly when it comes to pulling his weight, and the last thing you want to do is feel like you’re having to be the grown up in your relationship.
I do agree with you. When he expressed his desires for us to live together, I told him that I am not thinking about that at the moment since we are having issues and I have more important things to fix in my personal life (having a car, stable work etc...). I did ask him to give me the reasons why he'd want us to live together and up to this date I still have no response. So yeah, he does give me this vybe as well. He does work, pay his rent on time and all but, I feel like he's doing this by himself because he doesn't have the choice. But if he got the opportunity for someone else to manage these things (administratively speaking not money wise) he'd take advantage of that. Same for cooking, he takes advantage of me cooking by asking for a plate despite being:"not hungry". But if I ask him to take in charge the cooking because I am hungry, we have to collaborate and I end up doing most of the meal because he gets distracted in between. I don't know how to bring these up to him tbh
When married.
And when criminal , credit, and medical history has been run