Diary Pages of a Gold Digger
I have read many times on GAG about Gold Diggers. Sometimes being cursed or called hores other times praised for their come up. I don't think most people see that there is always anouther side to ever story. These stories sometimes seem very simple or one sided. So I found some entries from a diary of a girl who married a older man that did indeed have money. But as you will see if this girl was gold digging it blew up in her face and rightfully so.
It hit me like a ton of bricks. I had no idea how I looked anymore. I looked at my hand to remember how something looked on my body that had not been changed or altered in someway. It was like my mind blurred every time I tried to focus on my appearance. I was not me anymore I was a shell of the great person I once was. I looked like a doll or a bimbo like a plastic shell made to look the way he wanted me to. I had to get out a photo to remember the person I once was. Looking back that person was perfect the way she was. This person now disgust me
Growing up poor I always thought if I was just being financially stable anything else could be worked out or solved. I was so wrong it hurts me deep inside. I cry everyday over my situation I'm miserable stuck in this house not allowed to work, not allowed to go out. I signed away my youth at 22 and Agreed to be 46 unknowingly. I will never get to do anything most people in their 20's and 30's get to do go like go on road trips, go to concerts, even go out with my girlfriend's to a ladies night at a bar or club. That stuff will never happened for me and I now know that cheap or free things in life are really the things that are priceless laughter, memories, friends. I'd give anything to be my age for just one day. I would laugh and be with friends maybe just be silly and drive around doing nothing. I can't believe this is it to my life. I litterlly signed over my youth and my entire self the day we married to him. What have I done? The depression keeps getting worse and now I'm bringing in substances to use to cope with life. Which he happily pays for of course so I will beheave and be quite about my unhappiness.
We are in Aspen still, it's so beautiful here. I really wish I could go try snowboarding or skiing it looks really awsome. He said I couldn't because we have to have dinner with his colleagues every night that we are here and my face can't be messed up or burned from the cold weather. I haven't left the cabin we are staying in for three days. Im so alone and miserable I miss my friends and family. I dreamed of going skiing my whole life but assumed I'd never be financially secure enough to go. It's so messed up I just want to jump off the cliff at least that would be my choice. How was I ever so stupid to think money could buy happiness. I'm drinking to much trying to cope. It just keeps getting worse. I know he is still probaly having an affair but at this point don't even care it doesn't matter I am dead inside.
This will hopefully will make some people think gold digging is wrong and not something you should ever do. Karma will probably come and make you miserable later on.
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