Engagement Rings: Here's Why The Detail And Size Matter

Engagement Rings: Here's Why The Detail And Size Matter

The woman in the picture above went viral after being shamed for having such a small engagement ring. Well, actually she wasn't shamed so much as the guy who bought it. Why is the ring so small? Why isn't it bigger?

Then the questions from the opposing size came. Why can't she just be happy with what she got? Why does the guy have to spend a lot of money on a nice ring? He didn't have to get her anything so why is she not grateful?

Now, I don't know if the woman in the above photo was necessarily ungrateful. Either way, women for a long time have been pegged as gold diggers as so many of us have requirements of our partners in terms of financial stability. While most women are not unreasonable, there are some who want to be a house wife living in a $500,000, which is a bit ridiculous to expect.

However, there is one item that is still the center of the debate. This item has been used as an excuse by many men to prove that women are gold diggers and only care about money. These types of men like to hide behind this one item as an excuse to break up with a woman or to get away with not having to invest in the thing at all. Then there are those who are far worse. They use the amount they spend on this item and hold it over your head in the coming years if you dare complain about this item.

So what is it?

The engagement ring.

Engagement Rings: Here's Why The Detail And Size Matter


There’s this nonsense that women should be happy with ‘whatever you get’, but guys, I have news for you. That is an utterly stupid expectation you have for women. Here’s why.

Disclaimer: This Take is only about men who do not feel the need to buy a decent ring for their girlfriend. If this does not apply to you, then you shouldn’t be offended. Either way, I don’t particularly care.

So…why is it so important that you spend money on a ring?

Engagement Rings: Here's Why The Detail And Size Matter


In truth, it’s not REALLY about the money. And, another truth, most women don’t even realize themselves that it’s not about the money.

The real truth? The amount of money isn’t the problem. It’s really the size.

A lot of the time, when a woman complains about her engagement or doesn’t like it, it’s because it just simply doesn’t look very good. It’s extremely obvious to others and your girlfriend that an itty bitty teenie weenie ring is what you really think of her.

Guys, you have no problem putting thousands of dollars in your car or truck. You have no issue with spending and investing money in your man cave to make it perfect. You’ll even spend thousands of dollars on gaming systems and T.V. sets, stereo systems, and computers.

You have no problem spending the money on yourself. So why is it such problem to do so for a woman?

Wait, I thought you said this wasn’t about the money.

Well, because it isn’t. My point is that you have no problem investing this much money in yourself yet you present your [hopefully] soon to be wife with a ring that is no where as nice as any of those things you invest yourself. The whole point of the ring is to show how much you value your partner. Literally, that’s the reason you buy one. And there are plenty of nice rings that cost less than everything I just listed that you buy for yourself.

Samsung 55” Class MU6300 Series 2 – Original Retail Price $699.99, on sale (clearance) $601.99
Kohl’s Stella Grace 10k White Gold ring – Regular $600, on sale now for $240

Engagement Rings: Here's Why The Detail And Size Matter


Xbox One – Original Retail price $499 (Remember, this is with the games, headset, and mic)
Kay Jeweler’s Diamond Promise ring - $399 (With financing. And let’s be real. No one is going to tell the difference between an engagement ring and a promise ring.)

MSI – 15.6” Laptop – Intel Core i7 – 16GB NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1060 – $1,399.99
Jared’s Diamond Ring Setting 1/6 ct tw Round-cut 14k White Gold - $1,199.99

12 new video games (not including in game purchases) - $720

Roger’s Jewelers Lux-3 12 Round Diamond Bridal Set, ¼ ctw - $679.00, on sale right now for $203.70

Notice I only included items that you don’t necessarily HAVE to have. Yet, you have them. Why? Well, as a treat to yourself, of course. And you should have them. You worked hard for it (I’m assuming).

So why is it so hard to get your future wife something nice? And nice doesn’t necessarily mean size. If you look at the rings I picked, they really aren’t that huge. But most women actually care more about the details than the size of the rock itself.

Keep in mind, this is a ring that she has to walk around with on her finger and show everyone once she excitedly announces she’s engaged. The ring doesn’t reflect badly on her, but it certainly does on you.

Okay, and your point??? I don’t care what other people think.

Engagement Rings: Here's Why The Detail And Size Matter


Obviously not or else you wouldn’t buy her a cracker jack ring like that and expect her to be happy about it.

When you’re buying something for anyone you love, then you should purchase them something they really would like or something that shows you appreciate them in some way. For instance, I’m going to buy my mom something for Mother’s Day that I know SHE will like, not something small because I'm cheap and don’t want to spend the money.

Now, if you just can’t afford a ring beyond a certain price, that’s one thing. It’s not expected that you spend money you don’t have or wouldn’t be able to afford on a payment plan. If she’s like that, then she’s most likely a gold digger. Quite honestly, she's probably a gold digger if she has a price range at all. If she is more concerned about the price than the beauty of the ring and that you thought it was truly something she'd like, then she's probably not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

But it’s not unreasonable for women to want and, on some level, expect a nice ring. Why would you want the supposed love of your life walking around with a hideous ring on her finger that you expect her to wear in public?

And, yes, there are some women who claim to be happy with whatever they get. Most of them are lying. If they ever asked about your income, trust me, they care. To what degree, I have no idea. But they do care. Then there are some who don't. They don't think the ring means much at all. I can promise you they are the rare ones.

So make sure the ring you get is one that you believe she will enjoy. It’s a gift for her, after all, not you. You should want to give her something nice because you love her, not deny her a beautiful gift just because it’s expensive or you don’t want to spend the money on her.


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Most Helpful Guys

  • "Guys, you have no problem putting thousands of dollars in your car or truck."
    Those things are practical and require a constant maintenance. That and they have sentimental value for the man, whereas the ring is a vanity fare that only the woman wants.

    "So why is it such problem to do so for a woman?"
    And he gets in return what exactly?

    "The whole point of the ring is to show how much you value your partner."
    The actual point of the ring was so that, two centuries ago, the woman could trade it in for some cash to keep her and/or the children on their feet for a while until they could either get back to their family or until another man would support them since women had no way to garner income other than prostitution. The meaning of the ring was then altered to being a ''sign of love'' when commercialism in the 50s hit. Adding diamonds to the ring only became standard in the 50s because of an intense marketing campaign by the diamond industry.

    Also, why should a pointless expenditure be a sign of love? Why not invest that money in a savings fund for a house, a family car or even your child's future education?

    "Notice I only included items that you don’t necessarily HAVE to have."
    Ironic.

    "So why is it so hard to get your future wife something nice?"
    *Oh woe is me, my fiance does not wish to spend money on me when we both earn equal amounts of and even then that's just to get by*

    "Why would you want the supposed love of your life walking around with a hideous ring on her finger that you expect her to wear in public?"
    Why even have one at all? That and hideous is entirely subjective. All the ring has to be is a simple sign that she's taken and you don't need it to be big or have jewelry - people will see that there's a ring around her finger. That should be enough.

    "you should purchase them something they really would like "
    Then there is no limit to the expenditures you should make because literally everyone would want the most expensive shit. That and even if you intend to buy just one expensive thing, you'll then be expected to get more stuff in the same price range.

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    • 7d

      Hah! I only put enough money into my car to keep it functional and safe... now my computer is another story, I have a rather lavish setup. But then I'm a techie and into computers. But again, I only put money into things that I see a value in. :)

      If a ring has no monetary value, spend the money on something with worthwhile value.

  • If you've ever watched the series "Adam ruins everything", you'd know that diamond rings have NO actual value. Only the value that the diamond companies make us think they have.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5kWu1ifBGU&t=82s

    I'll probably just get my future girlfriend a cubic zirconia engagement rings when the time comes and let her know that. Cubic zirconia doesn't look much different than a diamond.

    Also before any says I'm being cheap, I'd rather spend less money on the ring, a ring that's over inflated in price. Then spend the rest of the money on a honeymoon trip, perhaps a lavish cruise or something.

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    • I definitely agree that diamonds are overrated.

    • 7d

      Thank you for the MHO!

    • 7d

      @ZambieMouse Indeed! It's those same companies that came up with the phrase, "Diamonds are a girls best friend." I have to wonder why they say that, when the "dog" is suppose to be man's best friend." I can understand a dog being a humans friend. But why would a diamond be considered a human's best friend?

      Just something to think about. :)

Most Helpful Girls

  • So materialistic...
    Personally, I actually want a small ring. SIZE doesn't MATTER, IT"S JUST A RING. I couldn't care less about the ring size. I could be given a silver band and I'd be just as happy. Yes, it's nice to have a pretty, big ring but I'd be just freaking happy that he is proposing and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I think it's quite rude to go off about a ring that your fiance bought you because you think it's too small or whatever, lol then go buy yourself a ring.
    Your last small paragraph is a joke... "so make sure the ring you get is one that you believe she will enjoy. It's a gift to here, after all, not you. You should want to give her something nice because you love her..."
    Can love not be enough? Can the rest of our lives of showing each other love not be enough? Just being with the person should be enough.
    I cannot believe how materialistic some people can be...

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    • Actually the rings I posted are very small. If you search them they aren’t huge at all. They’re actually just really detailed but they a huge rock. And they’re on the cheaper end of rings anyway. You must never have been proposed to or else you’d know that.

      Love can be enough but if you loved someone wouldn’t you want to give the best you could offer? When I shop for my husband’s wedding band, I want him to have the best within reason. If you don’t feel the same and that your future husband would deserve that then that’s you. It’s not about being materialistic at all.

    • Show All
    • 7d

      the 19 year old sounds more mature then the 28 year old.

    • 7d

      so it was a ring she liked and wasn't out of cheapness. so why the need for this post at all? lmao

  • I think women should vet men better if they want a big ring. I also think the ring a man buys you is a reflection of his character i. e. a man who lives cheaply and has never really bought you anything expensive isn't going to buy you an expensive ring. Neither is:
    -a man with a small salary
    -a man who doesn't really care about the ring (but puts the value in the marriage)
    -a man who wants to sh*t test you by buying a small ring
    -a man who hasn't considered you have to (hope) to wear it everyday for the rest of your life.
    -etc.

    I have friends wearing 10K rings and know friends wearing £500 rings.
    10K guy, came from a rich family has rich friends, is used to a flashy lifestyle.
    500 guy, cheap (so was she), modest, not flashy, anti materialism, placed the value in the marriage (i. e. they instead on a cheap wedding, 2nd hand dress etc.).

    It's interesting how you say 'women only care about the size'. What women care about is a reflection of their character. i. e. a woman won't like a small ring if she:
    -is flashy/materialistic
    -she feels like you could have afforded more
    -has ring envy (i. e. one of her friends has a huge ring)
    -sees it as a status symbol
    -(and the point you raised) sees it as a reflection of how much you value the relationship
    -etc.

    Equally, a woman won't want a big ring if she's modest, cheap or simply doesn't care about the ring.

    Lets use myself as a case study:
    Personally, I don't just care about the size, if the man I marry understands my character he will know I also care about the quality, the shape, the style and the colour deeply. I have to wear it for the rest of my life and I want to love it. The men I vet/date are of similar character and are capable of this. If I found he was uncomfortable with the price (I looked it up and know how much mine would cost) I would put money towards it myself, it doesn't bother me and to me it's worth the investment. But I would be considered materialistic as I have no issue with spending £3K on a bag.

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    • I don't see how anyone could be comfortable with that amount of money sitting on their finger. I feel like you're just asking to get robbed.

      The interesting part is that I never mentioned in the Take what I personally would like yet I'm being called materialistic. My hand is very small and the ring I listed for $203.70 would actually be the perfect one for me because of how small my hand is.

      But the truth is that ring size and detail do actually matter depending on who you are dating to a lot of women. If you're dating a millionaire with 10 luxury cars and he thinks you should have a $90 ring because it's cheap (not because you will like it) then I don't understand how a woman can't feel insulted by that. If I felt a guy bought me a ring out of cheapness vs. what I would like, I'd be mad. He put money before me. I'd never do that to him if it was within reason.

    • I just wouldn’t live in an area where I’d feel unsafe wearing that kind of ring on my finger.

      And don’t worry, I understand your reasoning

    • 7d

      the men i vet.. good god and no wonder men dont trust women. a ring is a symbol of love. if it is about how you look or if you have to spend your own money on it you miss the point/

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What Guys Said 42

  • "Guys, you have no problem putting thousands of dollars in your car or truck. You have no issue with spending and investing money in your man cave to make it perfect. You’ll even spend thousands of dollars on gaming systems and T. V. sets, stereo systems, and computers."

    -I don't own a car or truck. I take public transport or use Zip car.
    -My "man cave" has one writing desk, an Ikea folding chair, and one single-sized mattress on the floor. And a small Ikea wardrobe to keep my clothes.
    -I don't own a TV or stereosystem. Why buy a TV when you can watch Netflix on a laptop. Why by a stereosystem when your laptop works just fine. My laptop is a Lenovo that I bought for less than $200, and that was when it was on sales.

    I have a healthy bank account and retirement nest egg. I just prefer to spend my money on things that matter and add value to my life, not on material goods. (Thank you, Tyler Durden!)

    If a woman cares that much about the type of engagement ring she is getting, what her friends or family will think about it, on how it will reflect on her and her mate, then that woman is someone that doesn't add value to my life.

    From the above "material" items that the Writer of this post assumes that most men spend their money on, I would posit that the Writer is big on assumptions. So, when the Writer says that:

    "And, yes, there are some women who claim to be happy with whatever they get. Most of them are lying. If they ever asked about your income, trust me, they care. To what degree, I have no idea. But they do care. Then there are some who don't. They don't think the ring means much at all. I can promise you they are the rare ones."

    It's not unreasonable to believe she's making an assumption about women as well.

    Unless she's personally spoken to 90% of the women on our planet, I would take her spurious assumption with a pinch of salt.

    I know women who are happily married for years who have had engagement rings fashioned from copper or bronze. I know women who go for wedding band but do away with the engagement ring. I know women who do away with both.

    Are these women rare? If they are, I must be a very special kind of man who seems to be always bumping into rare women.

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  • The size of a piece of metal and mineral doesn't equate to how I feel about a woman. you are stupid to think such a thing.

    It's pretty ridiculous to think that the size of something is a way of saying I like this woman a lot. Future wives shouldn't be treated like whores.

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    • I actually said what mattered most was the detail but okay.

      The rings I listed are considered small. They just have a lot of detail. And they're inexpensive. Sounds like the stupid one here is you.

  • If a gal wants "big", he can always get a 3 c cubic zirconia. But I digress - in our family, my grandparents' and parents' diamonds from their rings were passed down to us and our daughters for the main stones in new rings.

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    • I love these kinds of traditions

    • Not ours. But that’s because my family on my dad’s side grew up very poor. That was mostly due to them being black and no one wanting to hire my grandfather. I don’t think my grandmother had a ring with a stone in it for several years and by the time she passed all of my dads siblings, including himself, were married.

  • The rings are perhaps one of the biggest wastes of money you could ever spend on and the biggest scam perpetuated by the jewelry business. They don't matter about detail or size. They should just be happy with the ring they get. It is about money.

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  • I spent 150$ on my wife's ring everyone shamed me for it but my wife till this day loves it and never takes it off

    It's not about the size of it it's the point behind the ring the more "expensive the ring is does mean shiittttttttt

    Tell me I'm wrong :)

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    • A friend of mine flashed her massive engagement ring around, had a massive wedding and an expensive honeymoon. He cheated on her every chance he got, he'd even hook up with chics when they went to parties together.
      Here I am sitting here with my little wedding and engagement ring set thinking that the most important thing are the promises to be faithful.

  • You have really not done yourself, or women in general, any favors here.

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    • If telling you that a $200 ring is fine and that any woman concerned more about the amount spent on the ring than the appreciation behind it then you must have a very low opinion of women.

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    • That doesn't make sense seeing as I based this Take entirely on male responses. It's just the fact that it came from a female that people are pissed lol.

    • This take was written from a woman's perspective.

  • Men are not even getting a ring back so why should men even bother to buy one in the first place? Also the things you mentioned guys buy for themselves are objects that have an actual use, rings dont do anything.

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    • But does any gift you get for anothet person do anything for you? If you get your mom flowers it does nothing for you. If you buy your nephew a new Lego set for his birthday, it does nothing for you. The point is not to get something for your benefit, the point is to get her a gift that shows your devotion to her. The reason they use diamonds in wedding rings is because they are the strongest gemstone and will last well after she dies. What is the use of having pictures in frames? Or keeping your old trophies? These things aren't meant to be important tools, they're meant to make you smile when you look at them because they have important emotions behind them.

    • @ZambieMouse How is she showing her devotion back? Marriage is not a one way street.

  • Wedding rings are like a 100 year old tradition made by the diamond companies to sell idiots rocks for 3 months salary

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    • Only if you buy a Diamond. Diamonds aren’t worth anything. But plenty of wedding rings and engament rings have a different stone. I think the one most people get now is are sapphire though I have no clue how much those are worth.

  • You know that MSI laptop you mentioned, I have a similar one. To me, this is NOT a gaming laptop. That laptop turned out to be a HUGE investment in my work. Yes, it is marketed as a gaming laptop but I made it a machine learning laptop and would not have my job without it. Same with my old GPU before that. What does that ring do? Nothing. Wait, actually it DOES do something, have you heard of Blood Diamonds? De Bears? That pristine ring is full of the blood of innocent people and the stain of modern slavery. And its mostly MEN dying because of these.

    Also, did you know millennial men get paid less then women and male-dominated jobs are going away. Even tech jobs have "women in computer science" blurted at us constantly and all my TECHNICAL books have replaced any positive occurrence of "he" or "him" or even "they" with "her" for EVERY tech role. That literally makes it harder for me to even read the chapter as I constantly think about that shit until I read the next sentence. So on one hand, we make LESS money yet are expected to spend more? You can't have it both ways, you can't expect to throw men out of our jobs then complain if they don't spend like your father or grandfather who earned more than your mom or grandmother.

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  • Another example of why men should avoid marriage in the current cultural climate.

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  • Those rings are so useless and a huge waste of money. Especially for the man. Don't even know why people buy them. The only purpose would be to trade (buy low, sell high).

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  • 4d

    My parents literally have bronze bands. They love each other dearly, like both best friends and lovers, and have been through thick and thin for just about 22 years.

    That is what love is. Not expensive f*cking rings. The gaming console stuff that you posted can be shared, if you suddenly come into enough money for such. Rings can't. Laptops have use, and you can even buy used laptops if you want. You can buy a couple of cheap used laptops for a couple hundred each, and have years of entertainment in the form of LAN games. Rings do nothing but sit on your finger.

    Other things the money can be spent on include hiking trips to explore the wilderness together, as equals exploring land that you know nothing about. Or paying off bills so that the both of you can share excitement at being financially stable, and having worked on that together.

    Maybe start projects, or see family that neither of you have seen in forever. My point being to use the money for experiences, rather than crap. Because the only thing that's really important is the bond that you establish and maintain as you go through life. Marriage or not. Ring or not.

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  • Aaaahhhh the good old days... No rings, fancy stones... But rather useful items to progress the family, as a whole... Like goats! Cows, chickens, wheat... Linens to keep the children warm... Now that's impressive.

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  • This post does not make sense. You say it's not about the money and then compare ring cost to some indulgences ( that I suspect very few men can afford.) You appear to be saying men, if you can afford these things, then you should be to afford a better ring. And if that's the core of the argument, well that is about the money. However you justify it.

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  • My ideal girl would love a ring I got her because of it being a symbol of our commitment. I understand it's a natural desire for people to want to impress others which is okay and I understand, but that quality in a partner is technically a flaw. I wouldn't expect her to be perfect though.

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  • If a girl doesn’t like the size of an engagement ring I bought her she can buy her own, and if anyone else criticized the size... good they don’t have to marry me then.

    Win/win as I see it.

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  • I'm just gonna buy her a ring pop. It's big, comes in many different colours, it's delicious, and if you lose it (or eat it) we can just replace it for nothing. It's the best kind of ring. Super functional and it size screams status.

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  • Every ring I have ever bought a woman has been either sold for 1/10 of the cost that I paid for it or the women lost the rings somewhere. I have spent $1,000's on rings in my lifetime and it has ended up being a big waste of money.

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  • 7d

    If a hunk of coal that has been compressed and a chunk of metal on your finger define what your marriage means, I feel sorry for you. Clearly objects are much more important to you than human beings.

    I'm sick of women thinking they are entitled to expensive things because they have a vagina

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  • I'm not into rings. I don't know why you should need one. It's just a little stone on your finger and costs plenty. Having a ring or not does not change the fact you're married/engaged.

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  • How about this - the guy buys you a ring at the same level of commitment as you buy for him. Let's see how quick you are to pony up the cash when it's yours. ;)

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  • So huge ring that's about 100$ and looks good is good enough too then?

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    • Well, none of rings I listed were huge. They were compared to the first ring. But they were more detailed by far. And they probably cost the same as the first except the one over $1,000.

      But it should be. I said in the Take that a girl who has a minimum price range on a ring isn’t someone you want to date anyway.

    • I wouldn't mind a $100 dollar ring as log as it was pretty and comfortable. Price really doesn't matter, as long as I like it.

  • 4d

    I think guys should also realise that the price on the ring doesn't necessarily have to be the price you pay for it. As they are crafted goods, there is an element of leeway that can be taken for haggling the price of a ring down. The key to doing this is to do your research, educate yourself on the elements of a ring and the diamond so that you're better equipped at talking the price down.

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    • 4d

      Pretty much. Diamonds aren't worth that much anyway so their value is MASSIVELY overpriced. IF it's a diamond, definitely look for the on sale ones lol. Even if you can't afford it right away and have to buy it after you propose, I would recommend anyone do this.

  • 4d

    When I proposed to my now wife, I had no engagement ring. We've been together for 8.5 years now and we don't even have rings. Cheapskate? No.

    Engagement/wedding rings are nothing but bling for women to show off to their friends to strike envy in the same manner men compare penis sizes. Its original meaning is long lost. Now its just protocol and marketing (much like Christmas). Now why would we waste thousands of dollars when we could use those thousands to start a business that makes money?

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    • 4d

      They literally aren't, and that's a poor mindset to have to think that buying your wife something nice is a waste of your money. My sister's husband didn't have a ring, either, and he proposed with a life saver's gummy, but you best believe he wanted my sister to have something beautiful. It wasn't because he wanted her to have something to show off. It's because he felt she deserved it. And he's said this multiple times. And he isn't rich, either. She actually makes more money than he does. He's part of the reason I wrote this because he agrees with this Take. Actually, this entire take was based on him, my brother, my dad, and a bunch of men in gamer's group who congratulated a girl gamer on her engagement and her man for getting her a nice ring.

    • 4d

      If you want a ring, get a ring. But an overpriced object does not keep a marriage together nor protects it. The problem with society is that they put a dollar value on love and beauty with the mentality of spending more = loves me more. Not only that, when a woman tells her girlfriends she's engaged, why do they immediately want to see the size of the engagement ring? Why does the woman want to show it off on the internet? its because they put more value on how they look to others as a form of validation.

    • 2d

      Never said it keeps marriage together but your response is extremely selfish. A lot of things don't keep a marriage together. A BMW won't, yet you see people buy them anyway even when they can't afford. You don't NEED an overpriced car yet there it is. The fact that you don't think your wife deserves says a lot about you and her actually.

  • 7d

    If a girl told me that the ring wasn't big enough or I didn't spend enough then I'd break up with her. That's petty and so immature.
    The ring should mean nothing compared to the two of you being together

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  • 7d

    I would buy my belle whatever ring she likes. But I would try to steer her towards other options like moissanite if she wants a big rock. :p

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  • If she wants a big ring, she'll have to buy me one of the same size.

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    • Equality in action right here. Be sure to have her sign a pre nup too.

    • I would have absolutely no problem buying my man an engagement ring. The fact that only women wear engagement rings and men don't wear a ring hntil they're actually married is a double standard.

    • @ZambieMouse I like how you think.

  • You pretty gullible if you think you need a pointless mineral on your finger

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  • Id buy her a ring the size of her morals and respect. Lmao

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  • 7d

    I just don't want to hear any feminist say, ever again, that men are privileged.

    Right here we have a discussion where women are taking it for granted that men have to buy them jewelry - simply because they're in a romantic relationship with each other. You would never think to flip the roles: the woman being expected to buy the man a ring, in return for... nothing. Now, that is how the world works, and I accept that.

    But I don't accept the feminist whining that men are privileged and women are victims, because - exhibit A - that is complete and utter horse shit.

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What Girls Said 28

  • I love my dainty engagement and wedding ring they weren't very expensive.
    They are very me.
    Most of all they were given to me by the man that I love.

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  • Size shouldn't matter on a bunch of issues but society is sick

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  • Wow you're materialistic. I'd be fine with a cheap ring or no ring at all as long as I get the man I'm in love with. A ring is nothing compared to being with the man you love. And any women who acts like she deserves an expensive ring doesn't deserve a man

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  • I'll be honest; I think that ring is beautiful. It's tiny, it's dainty and it's feminine. It's symbolic. It says 'This woman loves me as a person, not the gifts I shower her with'. I'd take a small ring like that ANY day over a big extravagant thing. To be honest, having a small ring is almost like a precious little secret between you and your other half; it's small and simple and a sign of bigger and better things going on that doesn't need to be flashed around because it's just between us.

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  • Personally, I'm not one for big rings. I'm a very tactile person, so a huge gemstone is heavy and annoying. I don't mind a smaller, simpler ring, but there has to be thought out into it. I've seen rings at jewelery stores under $200 that I absolutely loved, and wouldn't mind if someone proposed to me with. It's the thought behind it. Like you said, it's in the details. One of the most beautiful rings I have ever seen in my entire life, and I plan on buying it for myself, is $350 dollars. I've seen absolutely hideous rigs go for tens of thousands of dollars. Price doesn't matter. It comes down to did you get her something she'll like? If you hate the color orange, and it doesn't look good on you, and your girlfriend buys you a bright orange shirt, are you going to be happy wearing it? No. Because she got you something you hate, proving that she either doesn't know you well enough, or doesn't care enough to get you something you'd actually really enjoy. And men expect women to be happy with an ugly, uncomfortable ring we are supposed to wear until the day we die? No. If you're struggling to find a ring she'll like, look in her jewelery box. If you still have no clue, take her out shopping! Personally, I'd prefer for a guy to propose with a ring pop or something, and then take me out ring shopping so I know I'll get a ring I like. That'd be awesome.

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  • I agree for some aspects. For me it's the fact that he's asking her to wear it all the time, for the rest of her life. If she doesn't like the ring, it can get frustrating. It's not about the money. It's more about whether it looks good, and works with her style. Alternately, one could just ditch the engagement rings, or go pick them out together after the engagement has already happened.

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  • Well written. As for the content of your take, I pretty much disagree with most all of it. A ring is a gift in contemplation of marriage and nothing more than a symbol that a man wants to spend his life with me. A big ring doesn’t mean he wants to spend 2 lifetimes with me. It’s a symbol to show we have our whole lives to INVEST in EACH OTHER. Getting engaged to me shows he values me, not the size or shape or price of the jewelry on my finger. But I digress. Again, well written. Good grammar.

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  • 7d

    Honestly, I'd rather him not spend the money and instead save it for a future house or a nice vacation, I'd rather have something that'll be useful or build lasting memories than a fancy rock. Get me a $30 dollar sapphire necklace from Walmart and I'll be happy.

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  • I personally think that a woman who requires a big ring is deeply insecure about the relationship.

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    • What if she requires a big dick? 😂

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    • And no mind is 7 inches so I’m not worried or scared.

    • Only insecure? Add gold-digging as well 😂😂

  • 7d

    I just wish it wasn't so taboo to make the ring purchase together. Choosing a ring together is still just as meaningful as getting a ring that your SO picked out, but you don't have that awkward moment if you actually hate the ring.

    Also practicality of the ring is important too. If I work with my hands a lot, a big ring isn't going to work well. I may like the look of a big ring but if just ruin it with the work I do, whats the point?

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  • 7d

    It's not so much the size as it is the style. Super large diamonds are tacky at best, and can make me feel like he's trying to buy my love at worst. It should be something more intimate and personal - if she likes emeralds a lot, an emerald ring would be infinitely better than a diamond one. I like dainty designs more, so if my guy got me a big ring I'd almost feel upset that he didn't even bother to take my tastes into account.

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  • My ring is an engagement + wedding ring into one, quite simple.
    I suppose it's unimpressive, but in the end I'm the one using it. It's still much more expensive than anything I would normally be comfortable wearing...

    I also think it's a cultural thing. In my home country most women don't even get an engagement ring and, even if they did, very few people would care if it's a diamond and if it can be spotted from across the room.
    Here in Japan it's a lot more americanized $$

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    • I had a teacher who had the same thing. She was American, though, but she told this story how her husband bought her an engagement ring but when they got married, it was merged into a wedding band. The engagement ring's stone was small diamond and the wedding ring was a medium sapphire. It was really pretty. Apparently the concept behind it was that the 'promise was fulfilled'. But her husband was not American. I can't remember what the nationality was.

  • I don't like Kanye West or rap music but this one's for you 😂

    https://youtu.be/6vwNcNOTVzY

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  • My now ex fiancé gave me a ring very similar to the above picture (the small ring that people were mocking the lady for) and it was perfect. He could afford something big and flashy but he knew it wasn't my style. I don't do flashy jewelry and I can't wear jewellery when I'm at work anyway so I don't see a point in spending a lot on something I can wear minimally. The rings you posted may have been cheap but either don't have real diamonds or really small diamond chips as stones, if we're going dollar for dollar I'd rather have one small real stone then a bigger ring with fake stones as real stones hold up better to wear and tear of daily life and last longer so they can be passed down from generation to generation.

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  • 7d

    I'm not gonna lie here, I care about the ring and how much he spent on it, I want to know how much he cares and values me and yeah I don't want a small whimsy ring with a tiny rock on it. I want the ring to say "yes I love you and value you". Nothing more can be a turn off than a cheap thin meddled ring.

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  • Can't believe people actually care about that. Seriously?

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  • In a world where some people are dying from starvation, I don't need a ring. Ring means nothing to me.

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  • Something that really stands out here is men saying they don’t get why women need a nice ring therefor it’s not important and anyone who thinks it is, is a gold digger.

    I don’t get why my husband spends $500 on a pair of headphones.
    I don’t get why he likes a new towel everytime he showers (3 times a day 😐).
    I don’t get why doesn’t like tomato sauce but likes tomato paste.

    I don’t get many of the things he does or likes - but because they have value to HIM I’ll always respect and try to meet those to make him happy where I can. My engagement ring means a lot to me, it represents more than the money it’s worth but I treasure the fact he put effort, time and yes money into getting something he thought I would like.
    Just because it doesn’t mean anything to one person in the relationship shouldn’t negate its importance at all. If a man can’t figure out a woman’s true intentions when it comes to finances before proposing then he probably shouldn’t be proposing

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  • Engagement rings are a huge waste of money. You'll only wear it for a short period of time until you get married and start wearing the golden band. If I ever get engaged I'll just buy cheap couple rings until we get the real ones.

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  • I actually think the first ring is more beautiful than the second!

    I don't understand why they should spend so much money either. It should be about celebrating the commitment rather than "look at how much money he has"

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  • The gesture is more important than the ring to me. If my partner gives me the most expensive ring on a place without some preparation, it would be worse than if I got a mood ring on a place with romantical value. In fact the ring on the first picture is pretty much how I imagine my engagement ring, only that I'd like it a bit thicker than that. Also yes, I'd be showing it to people, but I really don't think it would be embarassing even if there's no ring at all. Seriously, the person proposed me to share our lives together, to create a family, that's much more valuable than some shiny diamonds. Also later that ring would be exchanged for a marriage band. I think there is where most of the effort should be put. And the best thing about the marriage bands is that they're worn by both members. There's so much more to a proposal than a ring. Hope you realise that at some point, but either way I hope you receive the engagement ring of your dreams

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  • Lmfao men who are being so caustic about ring will buy their sexy girlfriends even $ 1k ring.

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  • I rather have a small ring my hands are small. An the rock can be not so big I don't want some to take it.

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  • 7d

    To be honest this is proof that proposals have become so materialistic. I mean its fine if a girl likes big rings, but what if the guy is broke and seriously cannot afford it even if he wanted to get his girl a big ring? I honestly wouldn't care if mine was a cheap kind because for starters, i dont care about showing jewelry off to anyone. Second, as long as the guy gives it with such love behind it, thats what matters. Anyone who looks down on someone for not having a big ring are just greedy money eaters..

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  • Eh, I wouldn't want some big ass ring. It would feel weird and it would look trashy (imo) something small and simple would be best

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  • 7d

    Idc what size my ring is it just has to be pretty, do I can put it in my box of pretty things. 😂

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  • I'd be happy with a bread twist tie for a ring

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    • I feel like that's not true but okay lol.

      I never said proposals can't be fun, though. My sister's husband proposed with a lifesaver's gummy because the ring he ordered hadn't come in yet.

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    • Truthfully, I don't want a large ring. I have very small hands. I teach 7th grade and my 7th grade girls have larger hands than me. The rings I listed are considered small and would be enough for me. Well, except the $1,300 one. It's small but I have an issue with spending more than $1,000 on a ring. Save it for the wedding.

  • Good take

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