Engagement Rings: Here's Why The Detail And Size Matter

[Allie_Oops]

The woman in the picture above went viral after being shamed for having such a small engagement ring. Well, actually she wasn't shamed so much as the guy who bought it. Why is the ring so small? Why isn't it bigger?

Then the questions from the opposing size came. Why can't she just be happy with what she got? Why does the guy have to spend a lot of money on a nice ring? He didn't have to get her anything so why is she not grateful?

Now, I don't know if the woman in the above photo was necessarily ungrateful. Either way, women for a long time have been pegged as gold diggers as so many of us have requirements of our partners in terms of financial stability. While most women are not unreasonable, there are some who want to be a house wife living in a $500,000, which is a bit ridiculous to expect.

However, there is one item that is still the center of the debate. This item has been used as an excuse by many men to prove that women are gold diggers and only care about money. These types of men like to hide behind this one item as an excuse to break up with a woman or to get away with not having to invest in the thing at all. Then there are those who are far worse. They use the amount they spend on this item and hold it over your head in the coming years if you dare complain about this item.

So what is it?

The engagement ring.

There’s this nonsense that women should be happy with ‘whatever you get’, but guys, I have news for you. That is an utterly stupid expectation you have for women. Here’s why.

Disclaimer: This Take is only about men who do not feel the need to buy a decent ring for their girlfriend. If this does not apply to you, then you shouldn’t be offended. Either way, I don’t particularly care.

So…why is it so important that you spend money on a ring?

In truth, it’s not REALLY about the money. And, another truth, most women don’t even realize themselves that it’s not about the money.

The real truth? The amount of money isn’t the problem. It’s really the size.

A lot of the time, when a woman complains about her engagement or doesn’t like it, it’s because it just simply doesn’t look very good. It’s extremely obvious to others and your girlfriend that an itty bitty teenie weenie ring is what you really think of her.

Guys, you have no problem putting thousands of dollars in your car or truck. You have no issue with spending and investing money in your man cave to make it perfect. You’ll even spend thousands of dollars on gaming systems and T.V. sets, stereo systems, and computers.

You have no problem spending the money on yourself. So why is it such problem to do so for a woman?

Wait, I thought you said this wasn’t about the money.

Well, because it isn’t. My point is that you have no problem investing this much money in yourself yet you present your [hopefully] soon to be wife with a ring that is no where as nice as any of those things you invest yourself. The whole point of the ring is to show how much you value your partner. Literally, that’s the reason you buy one. And there are plenty of nice rings that cost less than everything I just listed that you buy for yourself.

Samsung 55” Class MU6300 Series 2 – Original Retail Price $699.99, on sale (clearance) $601.99
Kohl’s Stella Grace 10k White Gold ring – Regular $600, on sale now for $240

Xbox One – Original Retail price $499 (Remember, this is with the games, headset, and mic)
Kay Jeweler’s Diamond Promise ring - $399 (With financing. And let’s be real. No one is going to tell the difference between an engagement ring and a promise ring.)

MSI – 15.6” Laptop – Intel Core i7 – 16GB NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1060 – $1,399.99
Jared’s Diamond Ring Setting 1/6 ct tw Round-cut 14k White Gold - $1,199.99

12 new video games (not including in game purchases) - $720

Roger’s Jewelers Lux-3 12 Round Diamond Bridal Set, ¼ ctw - $679.00, on sale right now for $203.70

Notice I only included items that you don’t necessarily HAVE to have. Yet, you have them. Why? Well, as a treat to yourself, of course. And you should have them. You worked hard for it (I’m assuming).

So why is it so hard to get your future wife something nice? And nice doesn’t necessarily mean size. If you look at the rings I picked, they really aren’t that huge. But most women actually care more about the details than the size of the rock itself.

Keep in mind, this is a ring that she has to walk around with on her finger and show everyone once she excitedly announces she’s engaged. The ring doesn’t reflect badly on her, but it certainly does on you.

Okay, and your point??? I don’t care what other people think.

Obviously not or else you wouldn’t buy her a cracker jack ring like that and expect her to be happy about it.

When you’re buying something for anyone you love, then you should purchase them something they really would like or something that shows you appreciate them in some way. For instance, I’m going to buy my mom something for Mother’s Day that I know SHE will like, not something small because I'm cheap and don’t want to spend the money.

Now, if you just can’t afford a ring beyond a certain price, that’s one thing. It’s not expected that you spend money you don’t have or wouldn’t be able to afford on a payment plan. If she’s like that, then she’s most likely a gold digger. Quite honestly, she's probably a gold digger if she has a price range at all. If she is more concerned about the price than the beauty of the ring and that you thought it was truly something she'd like, then she's probably not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

But it’s not unreasonable for women to want and, on some level, expect a nice ring. Why would you want the supposed love of your life walking around with a hideous ring on her finger that you expect her to wear in public?

And, yes, there are some women who claim to be happy with whatever they get. Most of them are lying. If they ever asked about your income, trust me, they care. To what degree, I have no idea. But they do care. Then there are some who don't. They don't think the ring means much at all. I can promise you they are the rare ones.

So make sure the ring you get is one that you believe she will enjoy. It’s a gift for her, after all, not you. You should want to give her something nice because you love her, not deny her a beautiful gift just because it’s expensive or you don’t want to spend the money on her.

[ThisDudeHere]

"Guys, you have no problem putting thousands of dollars in your car or truck."
Those things are practical and require a constant maintenance. That and they have sentimental value for the man, whereas the ring is a vanity fare that only the woman wants.

"So why is it such problem to do so for a woman?"
And he gets in return what exactly?

"The whole point of the ring is to show how much you value your partner."
The actual point of the ring was so that, two centuries ago, the woman could trade it in for some cash to keep her and/or the children on their feet for a while until they could either get back to their family or until another man would support them since women had no way to garner income other than prostitution. The meaning of the ring was then altered to being a ''sign of love'' when commercialism in the 50s hit. Adding diamonds to the ring only became standard in the 50s because of an intense marketing campaign by the diamond industry.

Also, why should a pointless expenditure be a sign of love? Why not invest that money in a savings fund for a house, a family car or even your child's future education?

"Notice I only included items that you don’t necessarily HAVE to have."
Ironic.

"So why is it so hard to get your future wife something nice?"
*Oh woe is me, my fiance does not wish to spend money on me when we both earn equal amounts of and even then that's just to get by*

"Why would you want the supposed love of your life walking around with a hideous ring on her finger that you expect her to wear in public?"
Why even have one at all? That and hideous is entirely subjective. All the ring has to be is a simple sign that she's taken and you don't need it to be big or have jewelry - people will see that there's a ring around her finger. That should be enough.

"you should purchase them something they really would like "
Then there is no limit to the expenditures you should make because literally everyone would want the most expensive shit. That and even if you intend to buy just one expensive thing, you'll then be expected to get more stuff in the same price range.

[MScifiwriter]

Hah! I only put enough money into my car to keep it functional and safe... now my computer is another story, I have a rather lavish setup. But then I'm a techie and into computers. But again, I only put money into things that I see a value in. :)

If a ring has no monetary value, spend the money on something with worthwhile value.

[Guanfei]

Funny how most all dislikes come from women. Equality my ass.

[MScifiwriter]

If you've ever watched the series "Adam ruins everything", you'd know that diamond rings have NO actual value. Only the value that the diamond companies make us think they have.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5kWu1ifBGU&t=82s

I'll probably just get my future girlfriend a cubic zirconia engagement rings when the time comes and let her know that. Cubic zirconia doesn't look much different than a diamond.

Also before any says I'm being cheap, I'd rather spend less money on the ring, a ring that's over inflated in price. Then spend the rest of the money on a honeymoon trip, perhaps a lavish cruise or something.

[ZambieMouse]

I definitely agree that diamonds are overrated.

[MScifiwriter]

Thank you for the MHO!

[MScifiwriter]

@ZambieMouse Indeed! It's those same companies that came up with the phrase, "Diamonds are a girls best friend." I have to wonder why they say that, when the "dog" is suppose to be man's best friend." I can understand a dog being a humans friend. But why would a diamond be considered a human's best friend?

Just something to think about. :)

[ManaX]

I think women should vet men better if they want a big ring. I also think the ring a man buys you is a reflection of his character i. e. a man who lives cheaply and has never really bought you anything expensive isn't going to buy you an expensive ring. Neither is:
-a man with a small salary
-a man who doesn't really care about the ring (but puts the value in the marriage)
-a man who wants to sh*t test you by buying a small ring
-a man who hasn't considered you have to (hope) to wear it everyday for the rest of your life.
-etc.

I have friends wearing 10K rings and know friends wearing £500 rings.
10K guy, came from a rich family has rich friends, is used to a flashy lifestyle.
500 guy, cheap (so was she), modest, not flashy, anti materialism, placed the value in the marriage (i. e. they instead on a cheap wedding, 2nd hand dress etc.).

It's interesting how you say 'women only care about the size'. What women care about is a reflection of their character. i. e. a woman won't like a small ring if she:
-is flashy/materialistic
-she feels like you could have afforded more
-has ring envy (i. e. one of her friends has a huge ring)
-sees it as a status symbol
-(and the point you raised) sees it as a reflection of how much you value the relationship
-etc.

Equally, a woman won't want a big ring if she's modest, cheap or simply doesn't care about the ring.

Lets use myself as a case study:
Personally, I don't just care about the size, if the man I marry understands my character he will know I also care about the quality, the shape, the style and the colour deeply. I have to wear it for the rest of my life and I want to love it. The men I vet/date are of similar character and are capable of this. If I found he was uncomfortable with the price (I looked it up and know how much mine would cost) I would put money towards it myself, it doesn't bother me and to me it's worth the investment. But I would be considered materialistic as I have no issue with spending £3K on a bag.

[Allie_Oops]

I don't see how anyone could be comfortable with that amount of money sitting on their finger. I feel like you're just asking to get robbed.

The interesting part is that I never mentioned in the Take what I personally would like yet I'm being called materialistic. My hand is very small and the ring I listed for $203.70 would actually be the perfect one for me because of how small my hand is.

But the truth is that ring size and detail do actually matter depending on who you are dating to a lot of women. If you're dating a millionaire with 10 luxury cars and he thinks you should have a $90 ring because it's cheap (not because you will like it) then I don't understand how a woman can't feel insulted by that. If I felt a guy bought me a ring out of cheapness vs. what I would like, I'd be mad. He put money before me. I'd never do that to him if it was within reason.

[ManaX]

I just wouldn’t live in an area where I’d feel unsafe wearing that kind of ring on my finger.

And don’t worry, I understand your reasoning

[Johnnyjay]

the men i vet.. good god and no wonder men dont trust women. a ring is a symbol of love. if it is about how you look or if you have to spend your own money on it you miss the point/

[SarahVanRensburg]

So materialistic...
Personally, I actually want a small ring. SIZE doesn't MATTER, IT"S JUST A RING. I couldn't care less about the ring size. I could be given a silver band and I'd be just as happy. Yes, it's nice to have a pretty, big ring but I'd be just freaking happy that he is proposing and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I think it's quite rude to go off about a ring that your fiance bought you because you think it's too small or whatever, lol then go buy yourself a ring.
Your last small paragraph is a joke... "so make sure the ring you get is one that you believe she will enjoy. It's a gift to here, after all, not you. You should want to give her something nice because you love her..."
Can love not be enough? Can the rest of our lives of showing each other love not be enough? Just being with the person should be enough.
I cannot believe how materialistic some people can be...

[Allie_Oops]

Actually the rings I posted are very small. If you search them they aren’t huge at all. They’re actually just really detailed but they a huge rock. And they’re on the cheaper end of rings anyway. You must never have been proposed to or else you’d know that.

Love can be enough but if you loved someone wouldn’t you want to give the best you could offer? When I shop for my husband’s wedding band, I want him to have the best within reason. If you don’t feel the same and that your future husband would deserve that then that’s you. It’s not about being materialistic at all.

[Allie_Oops]

They don’t have a huge rock.

[Raven_76]

You want a small ring but not a small dick right?

[Allie_Oops]

@Raven_76 I... don't see how those two things are related lol. But I do actually want a small ring. I told @ChocolateCheesecake that I have hands smaller than my 7th graders so a medium-large ring would just be flat out hideous on my hand. It would make my hand look weighed down. I like subtle.

I never mentioned in the Take what I personally would like. I just mentioned why a lot o women have a problem with a small ring.

[SarahVanRensburg]

@Allie_Oops I highly doubt you'd actually want a small ring since you went on a huge rant about size mattering. Also, where did you find this information about women having a problem with small rings?

[Allie_Oops]

I would be comfortable but I don't really care what you think since I don't know you from a hole in the wall. I just told you why I posted this and I also mentioned that the rings I posted are small rings. It's like you don't even know basic reading comprehension.

Also, ironically, I actually got this information from guys on a Gamer's group I'm a part of on Facebook. A girl was recently engaged to a man she met playing PS4. She posted the ring and the guys were congratulating her but also the guy for getting a ring that wasn't chosen out of cheapness but rather what she'd like that would also make her look good. Everything I mentioned here besides the prices of the rings (which I researched myself) came from the men in that group.

So if you want to be bitter about the ring, be bitter at men lol. It was their idea.

*Patiently waits for a response that doesn't believe it because they already don't believe anything I said*

[Johnnyjay]

its not about being materialistic... except it is. this take is the definition of materialistic.

[Johnnyjay]

the 19 year old sounds more mature then the 28 year old.

[Johnnyjay]

so it was a ring she liked and wasn't out of cheapness. so why the need for this post at all? lmao

[Goodwifie]

I love my dainty engagement and wedding ring they weren't very expensive.
They are very me.
Most of all they were given to me by the man that I love.

[dantetheexplorer]

"Guys, you have no problem putting thousands of dollars in your car or truck. You have no issue with spending and investing money in your man cave to make it perfect. You’ll even spend thousands of dollars on gaming systems and T. V. sets, stereo systems, and computers."

-I don't own a car or truck. I take public transport or use Zip car.
-My "man cave" has one writing desk, an Ikea folding chair, and one single-sized mattress on the floor. And a small Ikea wardrobe to keep my clothes.
-I don't own a TV or stereosystem. Why buy a TV when you can watch Netflix on a laptop. Why by a stereosystem when your laptop works just fine. My laptop is a Lenovo that I bought for less than $200, and that was when it was on sales.

I have a healthy bank account and retirement nest egg. I just prefer to spend my money on things that matter and add value to my life, not on material goods. (Thank you, Tyler Durden!)

If a woman cares that much about the type of engagement ring she is getting, what her friends or family will think about it, on how it will reflect on her and her mate, then that woman is someone that doesn't add value to my life.

From the above "material" items that the Writer of this post assumes that most men spend their money on, I would posit that the Writer is big on assumptions. So, when the Writer says that:

"And, yes, there are some women who claim to be happy with whatever they get. Most of them are lying. If they ever asked about your income, trust me, they care. To what degree, I have no idea. But they do care. Then there are some who don't. They don't think the ring means much at all. I can promise you they are the rare ones."

It's not unreasonable to believe she's making an assumption about women as well.

Unless she's personally spoken to 90% of the women on our planet, I would take her spurious assumption with a pinch of salt.

I know women who are happily married for years who have had engagement rings fashioned from copper or bronze. I know women who go for wedding band but do away with the engagement ring. I know women who do away with both.

Are these women rare? If they are, I must be a very special kind of man who seems to be always bumping into rare women.

[LTHardy]

Righteous reply

[ZambieMouse]

Personally, I'm not one for big rings. I'm a very tactile person, so a huge gemstone is heavy and annoying. I don't mind a smaller, simpler ring, but there has to be thought out into it. I've seen rings at jewelery stores under $200 that I absolutely loved, and wouldn't mind if someone proposed to me with. It's the thought behind it. Like you said, it's in the details. One of the most beautiful rings I have ever seen in my entire life, and I plan on buying it for myself, is $350 dollars. I've seen absolutely hideous rigs go for tens of thousands of dollars. Price doesn't matter. It comes down to did you get her something she'll like? If you hate the color orange, and it doesn't look good on you, and your girlfriend buys you a bright orange shirt, are you going to be happy wearing it? No. Because she got you something you hate, proving that she either doesn't know you well enough, or doesn't care enough to get you something you'd actually really enjoy. And men expect women to be happy with an ugly, uncomfortable ring we are supposed to wear until the day we die? No. If you're struggling to find a ring she'll like, look in her jewelery box. If you still have no clue, take her out shopping! Personally, I'd prefer for a guy to propose with a ring pop or something, and then take me out ring shopping so I know I'll get a ring I like. That'd be awesome.

[Onidandal]

My parents literally have bronze bands. They love each other dearly, like both best friends and lovers, and have been through thick and thin for just about 22 years.

That is what love is. Not expensive f*cking rings. The gaming console stuff that you posted can be shared, if you suddenly come into enough money for such. Rings can't. Laptops have use, and you can even buy used laptops if you want. You can buy a couple of cheap used laptops for a couple hundred each, and have years of entertainment in the form of LAN games. Rings do nothing but sit on your finger.

Other things the money can be spent on include hiking trips to explore the wilderness together, as equals exploring land that you know nothing about. Or paying off bills so that the both of you can share excitement at being financially stable, and having worked on that together.

Maybe start projects, or see family that neither of you have seen in forever. My point being to use the money for experiences, rather than crap. Because the only thing that's really important is the bond that you establish and maintain as you go through life. Marriage or not. Ring or not.

[shephardjhon]

You know that MSI laptop you mentioned, I have a similar one. To me, this is NOT a gaming laptop. That laptop turned out to be a HUGE investment in my work. Yes, it is marketed as a gaming laptop but I made it a machine learning laptop and would not have my job without it. Same with my old GPU before that. What does that ring do? Nothing. Wait, actually it DOES do something, have you heard of Blood Diamonds? De Bears? That pristine ring is full of the blood of innocent people and the stain of modern slavery. And its mostly MEN dying because of these.

Also, did you know millennial men get paid less then women and male-dominated jobs are going away. Even tech jobs have "women in computer science" blurted at us constantly and all my TECHNICAL books have replaced any positive occurrence of "he" or "him" or even "they" with "her" for EVERY tech role. That literally makes it harder for me to even read the chapter as I constantly think about that shit until I read the next sentence. So on one hand, we make LESS money yet are expected to spend more? You can't have it both ways, you can't expect to throw men out of our jobs then complain if they don't spend like your father or grandfather who earned more than your mom or grandmother.

[kittycat119]

Wow you're materialistic. I'd be fine with a cheap ring or no ring at all as long as I get the man I'm in love with. A ring is nothing compared to being with the man you love. And any women who acts like she deserves an expensive ring doesn't deserve a man

[Raven_76]

What about penis size though? 😂

[kittycat119]

@Raven_76 that has nothing 2 do with her mytake

[Raven_76]

That’s all girls care about though right? A big ring and big dick?

[kittycat119]

@Raven_76 nope

[MysteriousDarkness]

@Raven_76
You need to grow up.

[Sweetheart64]

My now ex fiancé gave me a ring very similar to the above picture (the small ring that people were mocking the lady for) and it was perfect. He could afford something big and flashy but he knew it wasn't my style. I don't do flashy jewelry and I can't wear jewellery when I'm at work anyway so I don't see a point in spending a lot on something I can wear minimally. The rings you posted may have been cheap but either don't have real diamonds or really small diamond chips as stones, if we're going dollar for dollar I'd rather have one small real stone then a bigger ring with fake stones as real stones hold up better to wear and tear of daily life and last longer so they can be passed down from generation to generation.

[happyhippo]

The gesture is more important than the ring to me. If my partner gives me the most expensive ring on a place without some preparation, it would be worse than if I got a mood ring on a place with romantical value. In fact the ring on the first picture is pretty much how I imagine my engagement ring, only that I'd like it a bit thicker than that. Also yes, I'd be showing it to people, but I really don't think it would be embarassing even if there's no ring at all. Seriously, the person proposed me to share our lives together, to create a family, that's much more valuable than some shiny diamonds. Also later that ring would be exchanged for a marriage band. I think there is where most of the effort should be put. And the best thing about the marriage bands is that they're worn by both members. There's so much more to a proposal than a ring. Hope you realise that at some point, but either way I hope you receive the engagement ring of your dreams

[Wonderer89]

Something that really stands out here is men saying they don’t get why women need a nice ring therefor it’s not important and anyone who thinks it is, is a gold digger.

I don’t get why my husband spends $500 on a pair of headphones.
I don’t get why he likes a new towel everytime he showers (3 times a day 😐).
I don’t get why doesn’t like tomato sauce but likes tomato paste.

I don’t get many of the things he does or likes - but because they have value to HIM I’ll always respect and try to meet those to make him happy where I can. My engagement ring means a lot to me, it represents more than the money it’s worth but I treasure the fact he put effort, time and yes money into getting something he thought I would like.
Just because it doesn’t mean anything to one person in the relationship shouldn’t negate its importance at all. If a man can’t figure out a woman’s true intentions when it comes to finances before proposing then he probably shouldn’t be proposing

[ZambieMouse]

So well put!

[Johnnyjay]

I love how the poster tries to come off as not materialistic while the whole take is on a materialistic topic. Im sure that small ring you dont care about, but tottally do, costs more then that fake ring you posted. Also like the idea that because guys dont want to spend a certian amount it means it dosent come from love. That is absurd and materialistic as well. you say you dont care about money but then compare it to other things they spend money on suggesting they could and should spend more. You tried to come off like you didn't care but the whole take screams that you do care about those sort of things.

[OldSchool_Metalhead]

To be honest this is proof that proposals have become so materialistic. I mean its fine if a girl likes big rings, but what if the guy is broke and seriously cannot afford it even if he wanted to get his girl a big ring? I honestly wouldn't care if mine was a cheap kind because for starters, i dont care about showing jewelry off to anyone. Second, as long as the guy gives it with such love behind it, thats what matters. Anyone who looks down on someone for not having a big ring are just greedy money eaters..

[Scaramanga]

I just don't want to hear any feminist say, ever again, that men are privileged.

Right here we have a discussion where women are taking it for granted that men have to buy them jewelry - simply because they're in a romantic relationship with each other. You would never think to flip the roles: the woman being expected to buy the man a ring, in return for... nothing. Now, that is how the world works, and I accept that.

But I don't accept the feminist whining that men are privileged and women are victims, because - exhibit A - that is complete and utter horse shit.

[nathanp97]

You need to watch "what would you do?" They did a social experiment to see how people would react to a guy proposing with a fake ring😂. If size is what matters and she doesn't notice it is the perfect ring. You could also go buy one on craigslist or Ebay. Rings are expensive you can't really sell them and most relationships fail anyways. I'd much rather buy her a crappy ring she has to wear for maybe a year, and take the money I would have spent on her and put it into the honeymoon or a down payment on a house. You know, something we will both enjoy and benifit from.

If women are so concerned about getting a crappy ring they could propose to the guy. Then the guy gets stuck with a crappy ring and I guaranty he won't care. You could go to a hardware store and probably find a peace of pipe that would work😂.

[John_Doesnt]

I noticed you compared the ring to other products that do something. I don't remember any diamond ring that I can use to watch TV or program some software to make money.
More importantly: the concept of a wedding ring is brand new. Before the 1900's a woman didn't get dick for her engagement and she was happy for it. Watch Adam Ruins Everything and he'll explain why you're a slave to bridal magazines of the 1950's.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5kWu1ifBGU

[SarahsSummer]

Well written. As for the content of your take, I pretty much disagree with most all of it. A ring is a gift in contemplation of marriage and nothing more than a symbol that a man wants to spend his life with me. A big ring doesn’t mean he wants to spend 2 lifetimes with me. It’s a symbol to show we have our whole lives to INVEST in EACH OTHER. Getting engaged to me shows he values me, not the size or shape or price of the jewelry on my finger. But I digress. Again, well written. Good grammar.

[SarahsSummer]

You can read about the bride to be and her fiancé and what they say to the bullies here...
www.sharetap.it/.../

[Lavinnykins]

I'll be honest; I think that ring is beautiful. It's tiny, it's dainty and it's feminine. It's symbolic. It says 'This woman loves me as a person, not the gifts I shower her with'. I'd take a small ring like that ANY day over a big extravagant thing. To be honest, having a small ring is almost like a precious little secret between you and your other half; it's small and simple and a sign of bigger and better things going on that doesn't need to be flashed around because it's just between us.

[Danxsarah]

I spent 150$ on my wife's ring everyone shamed me for it but my wife till this day loves it and never takes it off

It's not about the size of it it's the point behind the ring the more "expensive the ring is does mean shiittttttttt

Tell me I'm wrong :)

[Goodwifie]

A friend of mine flashed her massive engagement ring around, had a massive wedding and an expensive honeymoon. He cheated on her every chance he got, he'd even hook up with chics when they went to parties together.
Here I am sitting here with my little wedding and engagement ring set thinking that the most important thing are the promises to be faithful.

[weasley8]

I agree for some aspects. For me it's the fact that he's asking her to wear it all the time, for the rest of her life. If she doesn't like the ring, it can get frustrating. It's not about the money. It's more about whether it looks good, and works with her style. Alternately, one could just ditch the engagement rings, or go pick them out together after the engagement has already happened.

[dipta]

My ring is an engagement + wedding ring into one, quite simple.
I suppose it's unimpressive, but in the end I'm the one using it. It's still much more expensive than anything I would normally be comfortable wearing...

I also think it's a cultural thing. In my home country most women don't even get an engagement ring and, even if they did, very few people would care if it's a diamond and if it can be spotted from across the room.
Here in Japan it's a lot more americanized $$

[Allie_Oops]

I had a teacher who had the same thing. She was American, though, but she told this story how her husband bought her an engagement ring but when they got married, it was merged into a wedding band. The engagement ring's stone was small diamond and the wedding ring was a medium sapphire. It was really pretty. Apparently the concept behind it was that the 'promise was fulfilled'. But her husband was not American. I can't remember what the nationality was.

[esotericstory]

Men are not even getting a ring back so why should men even bother to buy one in the first place? Also the things you mentioned guys buy for themselves are objects that have an actual use, rings dont do anything.

[ZambieMouse]

But does any gift you get for anothet person do anything for you? If you get your mom flowers it does nothing for you. If you buy your nephew a new Lego set for his birthday, it does nothing for you. The point is not to get something for your benefit, the point is to get her a gift that shows your devotion to her. The reason they use diamonds in wedding rings is because they are the strongest gemstone and will last well after she dies. What is the use of having pictures in frames? Or keeping your old trophies? These things aren't meant to be important tools, they're meant to make you smile when you look at them because they have important emotions behind them.

[esotericstory]

@ZambieMouse How is she showing her devotion back? Marriage is not a one way street.