The woman in the picture above went viral after being shamed for having such a small engagement ring. Well, actually she wasn't shamed so much as the guy who bought it. Why is the ring so small? Why isn't it bigger?
Then the questions from the opposing size came. Why can't she just be happy with what she got? Why does the guy have to spend a lot of money on a nice ring? He didn't have to get her anything so why is she not grateful?
Now, I don't know if the woman in the above photo was necessarily ungrateful. Either way, women for a long time have been pegged as gold diggers as so many of us have requirements of our partners in terms of financial stability. While most women are not unreasonable, there are some who want to be a house wife living in a $500,000, which is a bit ridiculous to expect.
However, there is one item that is still the center of the debate. This item has been used as an excuse by many men to prove that women are gold diggers and only care about money. These types of men like to hide behind this one item as an excuse to break up with a woman or to get away with not having to invest in the thing at all. Then there are those who are far worse. They use the amount they spend on this item and hold it over your head in the coming years if you dare complain about this item.
So what is it?
The engagement ring.
There’s this nonsense that women should be happy with ‘whatever you get’, but guys, I have news for you. That is an utterly stupid expectation you have for women. Here’s why.
Disclaimer: This Take is only about men who do not feel the need to buy a decent ring for their girlfriend. If this does not apply to you, then you shouldn’t be offended. Either way, I don’t particularly care.
So…why is it so important that you spend money on a ring?
In truth, it’s not REALLY about the money. And, another truth, most women don’t even realize themselves that it’s not about the money.
The real truth? The amount of money isn’t the problem. It’s really the size.
A lot of the time, when a woman complains about her engagement or doesn’t like it, it’s because it just simply doesn’t look very good. It’s extremely obvious to others and your girlfriend that an itty bitty teenie weenie ring is what you really think of her.
Guys, you have no problem putting thousands of dollars in your car or truck. You have no issue with spending and investing money in your man cave to make it perfect. You’ll even spend thousands of dollars on gaming systems and T.V. sets, stereo systems, and computers.
You have no problem spending the money on yourself. So why is it such problem to do so for a woman?
Wait, I thought you said this wasn’t about the money.
Well, because it isn’t. My point is that you have no problem investing this much money in yourself yet you present your [hopefully] soon to be wife with a ring that is no where as nice as any of those things you invest yourself. The whole point of the ring is to show how much you value your partner. Literally, that’s the reason you buy one. And there are plenty of nice rings that cost less than everything I just listed that you buy for yourself.
Samsung 55” Class MU6300 Series 2 – Original Retail Price $699.99, on sale (clearance) $601.99
Kohl’s Stella Grace 10k White Gold ring – Regular $600, on sale now for $240
Xbox One – Original Retail price $499 (Remember, this is with the games, headset, and mic)
Kay Jeweler’s Diamond Promise ring - $399 (With financing. And let’s be real. No one is going to tell the difference between an engagement ring and a promise ring.)
MSI – 15.6” Laptop – Intel Core i7 – 16GB NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1060 – $1,399.99
Jared’s Diamond Ring Setting 1/6 ct tw Round-cut 14k White Gold - $1,199.99
12 new video games (not including in game purchases) - $720
Roger’s Jewelers Lux-3 12 Round Diamond Bridal Set, ¼ ctw - $679.00, on sale right now for $203.70
Notice I only included items that you don’t necessarily HAVE to have. Yet, you have them. Why? Well, as a treat to yourself, of course. And you should have them. You worked hard for it (I’m assuming).
So why is it so hard to get your future wife something nice? And nice doesn’t necessarily mean size. If you look at the rings I picked, they really aren’t that huge. But most women actually care more about the details than the size of the rock itself.
Keep in mind, this is a ring that she has to walk around with on her finger and show everyone once she excitedly announces she’s engaged. The ring doesn’t reflect badly on her, but it certainly does on you.
Okay, and your point??? I don’t care what other people think.
Obviously not or else you wouldn’t buy her a cracker jack ring like that and expect her to be happy about it.
When you’re buying something for anyone you love, then you should purchase them something they really would like or something that shows you appreciate them in some way. For instance, I’m going to buy my mom something for Mother’s Day that I know SHE will like, not something small because I'm cheap and don’t want to spend the money.
Now, if you just can’t afford a ring beyond a certain price, that’s one thing. It’s not expected that you spend money you don’t have or wouldn’t be able to afford on a payment plan. If she’s like that, then she’s most likely a gold digger. Quite honestly, she's probably a gold digger if she has a price range at all. If she is more concerned about the price than the beauty of the ring and that you thought it was truly something she'd like, then she's probably not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.
But it’s not unreasonable for women to want and, on some level, expect a nice ring. Why would you want the supposed love of your life walking around with a hideous ring on her finger that you expect her to wear in public?
And, yes, there are some women who claim to be happy with whatever they get. Most of them are lying. If they ever asked about your income, trust me, they care. To what degree, I have no idea. But they do care. Then there are some who don't. They don't think the ring means much at all. I can promise you they are the rare ones.
So make sure the ring you get is one that you believe she will enjoy. It’s a gift for her, after all, not you. You should want to give her something nice because you love her, not deny her a beautiful gift just because it’s expensive or you don’t want to spend the money on her.