Abortion, Termination, Pro Life, Right to Choose?

Hi there, I've seen so so many questions and threads regarding abortion, for sure they will be until the end of time re a varied response.

There are quite often so very little examples given regarding whether abortion or pro life is the correct way to go. So today I feel inspired to give a different life view, my own, one very personal story of how this played a role in my life...

I was always of the view point I sure hope I never have to be in that position re considering terminating a pregnancy along with that I did not judge others, however, I had/have heard stories of women who have had numerous even 7 terminations, now that I do struggle with. Anyways my own situation was I had come out of a marriage to a first gulf war soldier the war had such damage to his mentality unfortunately it played a huge part in our marriage ending, the good news is that after being friends from high school we still are to this day.

Abortion, Termination, Pro Life, Right to Choose?

After a year of that marriage ending I was with a new partner, he at that time had a son who was just to turn one years of age, now this child came from a one night stand, the mother chose to keep the child and he stood up and was supporting him. I preferring a more natural way of life chose a contraceptive method called the persona which at the time was sold with an accuracy better than now at 94% only. You pee’d on sticks like pregnancy tests to test your likelihood to get pregnant got green for all clear, amber for be careful, red for danger zone. Well needless to say within three months! I got pregnant...this was not suitable at all for a new relationship, for myself for him and especially regarding the situation for his sons welfare.

I made a decision to terminate the pregnancy, this was the worst decision for my own mental and emotional state of mind as a woman I've ever made...for sure it was THE turning point in my life...that said...i spent years and years afterwards with his son at the weekends watching him loving his son and his son loving him, every weekend ripping my heart out, i honestly feel it was like Karma, he went through a time where he would say Daddy all the time, every time he said it, it was like a knife in my heart, again i took it as a kind of universal punishment for the decision i made.

The decision to terminate was for the overall the move I made at the time, as it happens we stayed together and when his son was 6 I got pregnant with our first child another son then three years later we had a daughter. We stayed together for almost 14years.


No matter how things worked out and how looking at my two children now and yes if id kept the first they wouldn't exist because of how life/time works out, I still feel that it was the biggest mistake I ever made and it was wrong. Despite this I am still a supporter that in this life a person has the right to choose what move to make. No matter the life changing devastating effects it had on my own personal state of mind which has been a major factor ever since, I would not be where I am now with my two most awesome children, despite that I STILL declare it was the worst move I ever made….

When I got pregnant with my first child I can so clearly recall getting to the 8 week point then the 12 week point and so on and every time I indulged in this it punished me more in return at the child I had decided to not have. I would say these were the first real moments of realisation of what I had done.

Now when I say what I had done, that is how I feel myself, no matter the situation I was in at the time, no matter taking on the whole situation and his situation, I have always accepted as the ancient symbol of YIN and YANG there is a whole and it is entire it is neither one or the other, so that is why I can truly say YES I made a decision at the time based purely upon the circumstance and coming from a mentality of how if ever I would like to raise a child for the better good. Also YES it was the most damaging decision I ever made, IN ITS OWN REGARD, I also accept if I hadn't ever of been through that maybe I never would of gone on to have two of the most awesome children ever.

Now ftr if there any offensive responses I WILL report these, by sharing this my take i know i am willingly opening myself to views that will only add fuel to my self hating fire, if so, so be it, however, at least have the intellect and human compassion with any responses...is all i can ask xx


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Most Helpful Guys

  • in my opinion, abortion can be a necessary thing. however, i do not believe in the abuse of abortion. those women that you mentioned having had 7 would not be okay with me. i say, everybody can get one, but more than one means you didn't learn from your mistakes the first time, and should have to live with the choices you made with no more bailouts. you, in my opinion, seem like you are struggling with this. knowing that you would never do it again is exactly where i get my one and done from. out of everyone i know who has gotten an abortion, 4 said they would never do it again and 2 had more than one but still never want to do it again. one of the ones who had multiple now has a daughter and told me she wishes she would have never aborted the first 2 and mathematically speaking, her daughter would still be here if she hadn't.
    so thats my viewpoint on this. feel free to disagree but thats what i think.

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    • hi, thank you for your reply, i think you have a very balanced and mature view. I know a mother of two children similar age to mine who confided in me about an unwanted pregnancy now this had come from a quickly intimate online dating thing, i was surprised at lack of protection, she chose abortion... then it happened again... for me even if two people have unprotected sex the morning after pill exists, in the u. k its even free.. if you want to keep it off your records pay 35 pounds, which to me is a far far better thing to do if you get into that situation. i have had this very conversation with my two children, irrelevant of the law of the land, if they are getting involved with an idea of what may soon happen just ask me, if any heat of the moment incidents tell me asap, I've also explained the facts too.. the sooner the better.. may i ask if any of the females you know had discussions with the biological father of the pregnancy?

    • 1 did and they decided to abort, 3 aborted without telling, 2 of them did for the kids they kept. ones baby father was happy, the other was pissed off at the time, but he loves his daughter now and is so glad they kept her. both of the ones who kept their kids, were the ones who had multiple abortions.

  • My take on abortion is this, and is very, very unpopular, but I don't care:

    As long as a woman is legally able to unilaterally get an abortion, the alleged father, if they are unmarried, should be able to legally abort financial responsibility.

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    • Pro-choice is very common and a very popular opinion. Your opinion aren't unpopular at all. Pro-life however is extremely unpopular and many gets upset if you're one.

    • hello, i fully appreciate the mind set of this and it is an intricate and twisted matter.. as you know from my story the first child of my childrens dad was from a one night stand, a woman i know of in my area was having trouble with her benefits ending, her son was 12, no partner then she is pregnant and has had the baby, i cannot disagree with you on base thought but how the hell would or could it be legitimised? the law is quite happy to pursue biological fathers for money yet the legal system is definitely set against men to engage with their own children.. in the uk they took away legal aid for family law so most men are screwed... it makes me so very angry, sorry gone off topic there xx

Most Helpful Girls

  • I appreciate your experience. That is why I would never want anyone else to make that decision for you, one way or the other. It is your decision alone.

    Many people regret their choices in regards to having a child. Even mothers who very much love their children, some can feel that they should have postponed pregnancy or had fewer children. Some people regret not having children, putting children up for adoption, etc.

    These are not simple decisions for anyone to make.

    Thank you for sharing. I wish we didn't have to treat these things like shameful secrets.

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  • And there's this common belief that women skip out of abortion clinics with such joy.
    We get judged and called murderers but what about the men because in most cases they'll have a strong anti abortion stance yet do nothing to prevent an unplanned pregnancy.
    I'm sorry that you have been through so much torment, may your little angel baby be forever in your ♥.

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    • I truly am so emotionally grateful to each of the three of you for your responses. It means way more than you will ever know, may the universe protect you always xx

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    • 💝💝💝💝💝

    • @DianeScarcelli haters put all the hate onto the woman but what about the man he's done nothing to prevent it.
      It must have been a very confusing time for your sister.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Thank you for sharing your story, and I'm sorry that this is a decision you've struggled so much with.

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  • Someone can always consider getting procedures like vasectomies and tubal ligation done before even having sex at all. Wouldn't that have save themselves all the trouble and the whole process they otherwise would have to go through with abortions? More sterilization that occurs before sex would result in less abortions altogether.

    @serious @curiousnorway @lumberman989 @unit1 ?

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    • Agree. Good point!

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    • @curiousnorway EVERY SPERM IS SACRED !
      ;-)

    • @jacquesvol That's only if somebody wants kids. Perhaps eventually there will be permanent birth control pills or permanent sterilization pills eventually that would be more effective than surgery.

  • So, correct me if I’m wrong please but you terminated your pregnancy because life got tough for you? Is that it essentially? Listen, life is tough for almost everyone on this planet. Though some have it tougher than others of course. You obviously regretted your decision and title as the most horrid and regrettable decision you’ve ever made and have suffered and continue to suffer for it. There are programs and people out there who will help you in situations like this, but I don’t feel like abortion/terminating one’s pregnancy is the right decision most of the time. I make exceptions for rape, incest, and life of the mother. If the situation is tough and you might have to struggle, then so be it. Face the struggles, be tough, and learn from them to apply to every other situation in life. I believe there’s a reason why you deeply regret your decision. I think one of the reasons is that you really cared for and wanted to have your baby, if you dictated the situation to be what you considered “ideal.” But, you succumbed to the pressures of life and perhaps made excuses that it was “too tough” or it “wasn’t the right time.” Sometimes we have the right to do things, but it doesn’t mean we should do them and it doesn’t mean they’re something we should parade.

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    • Again, my personal opinion on abortion is that it should be an option for incest, rape, and life of the mother. I think when it comes to abortion there are themes of responsibility and making good decisions that should be prefaced the abortion in the first place. Some people do not want to accept this and want to have the ability to do whatever they want because it’s “my body.” Instead of better decision making, facing up to problems, and being more responsible, many of these individuals take the path of least resistance in my opinion.

  • I’m totally for abortion. Like prohibition with alcohol... if the product isn’t available legally , a black market will emerge.

    The medical ramifications freelance and black market terminations of pregnancies would be so dangerous and so dire... that it is best to do them legally.

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  • You have a very reasonable, mature viewpoint, and I agree with it wholeheartedly.

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    • I truly am so emotionally grateful to each of the three of you for your responses. It means way more than you will ever know, may the universe protect you always xx

    • The way I see it, you had a decision to make, and made best decision you could to the best of your knowledge and ability. The fact that you later regretted the decision is simply a testimony to the gravity of the decision. Later, you seem to have come to the decision that this decision was not the best one for you, but you continue to acknowledge and understand that it might be the best choice for others. That way of looking at it is about as mature and balanced an approach as I can imagine. Well done. Regret nothing. While you may feel now that the choice was not the best, based on you CURRENT circumstances. it was the best decision you could have made AT THE TIME.

      As my mother used to say, "Do your best. The angels can do no more."

  • A woman has an abortion its reproductive right. Ff a man terminates a fetus it's murder. Apparently Abortion isn't murder when woman does it but abortion is murder when a man does it. So that's something interesting to think about.

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  • Ok look, i understand that you weren't ready. Here's my issue. Did you at least tell the person you were with that you were pregnant and wanted to get an abortion?

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    • yes it was a new relationship known each other for over 15years.. maybe that will make more sense now.. we stayed together had our children.. xx

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    • i value your view point entirely, here in the uk there is more and more debate how out of balance with p. c things are getting.. your example a female can make the decision entirely on her own same as to keep a child then potentially after birth or years later claim for a share of up keep.. however.. if the father wanted to keep the child and she didn't what if he staked at birth he takes complete single parenthood should the woman carry through the pregnancy?

    • I'd say that's a good deal all she has to do is carry it to term and the father can take care of everything.

  • And abortion is fine, the embryo is like a tumor, both are a lump of cells constantly growing to a certain point, then they both get removed. Neither have brain transmitions (depending on how formed the embryo is) however one is a mutation in the cells dna, and another a part of the reproductive cycle.

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  • You did what you thought was right, we can't go back we can only go on and learn. Be well.

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    • I truly am so emotionally grateful to each of the three of you for your responses. It means way more than you will ever know, may the universe protect you always xx

    • You are so welcome.

  • Abortion to me i say is allowed cause why on earth do we need more life on this earth esspacilly a human of all things.

    Plus it's there body there choice there life.

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    • Welp that's another idiot to block.
      And yes i will kill myself but not yet i am waiting until the new godzilla film is out and if it's good i might stick around for the next one.

  • I believe in the right to choose. If someone is against abortion, That is okay. If someone isn't against abortion, That is okay. People should just live their lives and not force their ideologies on others.

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  • According to my belief every sperm is sacred and every sperm is great, if 1 sperm gets wasted God gets quite irate. So masturbation should not be a man's constitutional right because he's committing genocide on purpose.
    I have every right to force my personal beliefs on everybody else and make them into law!

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  • I don’t think anyone has a right to tell someone what they can/can’t do with their body. That being said I think it’s important to recognize the importance of that choice. It’s still killing a unborn child and makes the most sense when the child had little potential for a happy life in the first place.

    All that said I only really have an issue with it when it’s being used to deal with ongoing reckless sexual behaviours and it’s a repeat thing. In that case they should be taking more responsibility before the fact.

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    • Premature babies survive at 19/20 weeks yet still legal to commit murder later, yet they won't legislate for humain youthanasia (sorry spelling)
      Exceptional cases do exist but are rare. Max should be 12 weeks!

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    • @fedupofpof Perfect, thats the way to handle it, education is the best tool in my opinion. Also raising responsible kids who plan ahead. Accidents can still happen but at least with good family support they will often feel safer and that often means they are more open to going through with it.

    • @fedupofpof @MrKinktastic i messaged my niece earlier as she had worked in a uk pharmacy where she had told me in the past that over and over the same young girls would come in for the morning after pill, personally i have attempted the education thing and openness with my children that being prepared is best and even if its younger than the actual legal age please be honest with me, if a situation happens please come to me I've even said if a friend of yours has a situation you can come to me.. the reference for me was as for termination of a pregnancy even a casual repetitive use of the emergency contraception surely is not the right way to be behaving and condoning within society? If a percentage of youth are not educated or supported surely the state stance should be to flash up individuals that are clearly in need of education/support? i feel that in the uk our education system teaches biological facts of sex and procreation and thats it, nothing is taught of real life emotions, hormones, peer pressure, emotional effects and on and on... now if parents are not supporting all of these things and neither is the education system, no surprise there, we are left with a generation running wild in an era of the most social freedom questioning boundaries and even the whole concept of sexuality/personality? just thoughts here... xx

  • I'm way pro abortion mostly for reason of eugenics. Not sure where the supposed "pro life" argument comes from. It's not really a logical argument. I think it might be some kind of instinct that comes out in a certain segment of the population that is suppressed in the rest. It's puzzling and kind of weird when you see the passion that they argue with.

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    • It amazes me how many say they are for eugenics, yet they're still walking around on this earth. Why do they not take their own lives to show they truly believe in eugenics instead of taking innocent lives that had no choice? Stop their hypocrisy and set the example.

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    • @jacquesvol Why are you bring race into this? This seems raciest to me.

    • @ThisAndThat Before that time, churches accepted abortion "until quickening" , very late in pregnancy thus. They changed theory in a social context.

  • In my opinion, abortion is wrong. I’m 100% pro-life. Abortion is never about choice. It’s escaping the consequences of your choice by taking away the choices from another human life. After the egg has been fertilized, it’s not a blob of cells; it’s another human life. So if you have an abortion, you have committed murder.

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  • I think the law should stay as is I am not saying I am condoning someone getting an abortion every time they get knocked up irresponsibly but I think it should be up to the woman to make that choice not the goverment because honestly all the people juding have not gone through what that woman is going through

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  • Wall of text, no paragraphs. Impossible to read like that.

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  • It's not anyone's choice, not the woman, not the man, not a goddamn alien, you accepted to be f*cked, you'll get a baby, that was YOUR mistake, I ain't paying shit for you to kill your son, it's over.

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  • Killing babies.
    Women in droves are demanding their right to kill someone else.

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    • A baby is "someone". A fetus is not a "someone". Personhood requires consciousness. That's why we have no problem pulling the plug after brain death. Consciousness is an emergent property of a developed brain, and is certainly not present in a 12-week fetus.

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    • @jacquesvol isn't that what I said?

    • @slatyb
      Yes, it is. I only agreed with your point.

  • Pro-life. I was taught that the social acceptance of abortion was one of the greatest progresses of our time. When started to think more critically instead of accepting and regurgitating what I was told, I changed my mind.

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  • Thank you for sharing your experiences. I'm deeply saddened that you have carried this burden but also lifted up by your having two great kids as well.

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  • I would support birth control.. instead of killing a soul.. I mean.. why not controlling it instead of getting pregnant and going throw this type of processes?

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    • zerhope22 the existence of 'souls' isn't proven, despite 100 years people's search. They weighed bodies of dying persons and the corpses after death.

  • I feel like it's the same way with being vegan or just a regular meat-eater. Do whatever you want, believe whatever you want. Don't try to force your ideology on others though.

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  • Despite whatever ethical issues come with abortion, a woman still gets the right to choose. Her uterus should not be under government control!

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  • Wow, pre 12 weeks, perhaps as a one off, 20+its basically murder unless of extreme circumstances.
    As for 7, she needs a regular compulsory contraception jab, in my humble opinion

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  • I am currently on my third pregnancy, two of which some would say an abortion is perfectly justified. I chose not to get an abortion. My first was when I was a senior in high school. I married the father after graduating. The second was planned, but my husband passed away late in the pregnancy. Again I chose to carry the child.
    My current pregnancy is from a one night stand (my carelessness) and some element of non consent. Once again I am choosing to carry the child. I can not see myself having an abortion, and I don’t think I could handle the guilt afterwards.

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  • Your abortion question is at least a well developed text.
    in my opinion , it's the woman's decision, NOT the government's decision.

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  • I support choice not abortion. Simple as that. If you all think that a fetus is a human life, i don't or we dont.

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  • I agree with the right to do whatever you want with your body. But father's are often overlooked in such procedures, that needs to change

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  • I'm anti government barging into people's private lives and making life-altering decisions for them.

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    • Yeah man! I hate the government arresting me for killing someone on the street!

      The point is. You're not interfering with your own life. Your interfering with the life of a fetus and soon-to-be baby.

  • You are free to choose,
    but you are not free
    from the consequence
    of your choice - Buddha

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  • Definitely pro-life.

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  • I am 100% pro choice. It is the woman's body and life and her human right of bodily autonomy supercedes a fetus as it has no right to life anyways during the time frame where most abortions take place, nor does anyone have the right to occupy a womans body without her consent.

    I'm fine if you don't like abortion and wouldn't get one personally, that is your CHOICE and I support you 100%, just as if you had or would get one, or adopt, or anything.

    If you disagree, that's ok and I'm willing to talk about it. But if you are a guy, just know I consider your opposition essentially invalid by default as you nor I can ever know of the pains or risks of pregnancy, thus no logical base from which to attack it's termination.

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  • So many pro and cons as a man don’t get them pregnant use protection for a lot of good reasons

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  • Pro Life

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  • I'm Pro-Life, darling.

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  • Right to choose, I don't judge you

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  • Personally, I am pro life, but I do not judge people who decide to abort, I only pray for them and the emotional turbulation they may have after the fact... try to support anyone I know who has had one... I also believe it can be necessary at times—like when the mother would die attempting to give birth... or if they develop cancer or some other illness that requires treatment harmful to the baby... that is a hard descision to make for all those involved and I don’t blame anyone for their decision or hate on them for it

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  • Abortion is mentioned once in the bible - in the instructions of how to perform one.

    For those who don't care what the Bible says, there's simple history - we've always had women who wanted abortion, and thankfully we now have the technology to look after them safely. Making it illegal does nothing except drive it underground and make it more dangerous.

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  • I couldn't give a shit, Not my body, Not my business. Not my choice...

    I had a girlfriend that I poled.. I wanted her to keep it, and I would take care of the child.. I had no say. so fuck it.. don't give a shit anymore..

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  • Nice take

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  • Whatever the man decides

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  • God can forgive all sins, including abortions.
    I have never had an abortion but the first time I had sex I did not know that we were going to have sex and I was not on contraceptives. I knew very little about contraceptives and condoms. When he told me that we just had sex, I panicked because I knew we could get pregnant and I was very scared as we were not married yet (I was 24, he was my first boyfriend, and first time with sex). He told me right away that there was plan b and I could get the birth control pills through planned parenthood. The next morning, I went to get plan B right away.

    We got married right away and then tried for two kids, which we got. Both times, my husband has this "leave me alone, I am tired and want you to go away" attitude all the time. I asked him to take the car in and he refused, that was the only appointment I could get for months so right after I gave birth to my son I dropped the car off and walked 3 miles back home. The second time I had my daughter I asked him to go buy milk for me and my son as we needed groceries and he refused, after I had given birth to her I went to the grocery store and bought all the milk and groceries by myself. He is a selfish man, who is always angry when I ask him to do something for me. I just wants to ignore me and complain about me but he wants a third child, he wants a boy. We had sex yesterday and he did not pull out. I just went to buy plan b again (my second time). If I had a baby he would claim that he did everything and that I did nothing, and that I am "not capable" of being a mother and I can't handle it but in reality, he would just sit back and do nothing and get angry at me for everything (as he is all the time). So I some times wished I had zero kids with him. My son and daughter are spoiled rotten brats who like to do nothing but go on their electronics and eat bad food and not help out (just like their dad)... so it saddens me that I brought entitled, spoiled and mean kids on this planet that do not like to think of me or helping out in the house but only themselves...

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    • What blasphemy to assume that God will forgive a heinous thing like abortion.

    • @InTimoreDei He can even forgive murderers

    • @InTimoreDei According to the Bible God killed millions of zygotes, fetuses, embryos babies, and their mothers.

  • I have two children. I once after that had a medical abortion very early in, I just knew it wasn’t right of me to get another baby while I still had a small baby, I had nothing to offer emotionally as I really didn’t want another baby, I wasn’t sure if the marriage would last, it was just a difficult time. That is 2 - 3 years ago. At that time I only felt relief, today I look back at my decision and it was definitely the right one. I have mever felt sad about it or cried about it, I only felt guilty about having an abortion as it isn’t something good and best to never have to do, I should never have been pregnant at time and I wish I was not at time so I would not have to get an abortion. But I was pregnant so i got one. I am definitely not pro abortion, and it should never be used as contraceptive, but sometimes it is the better option and so the woman can make that decision.

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    • I am not a fan of making it illegal. It is seen how women try to do it themselves in the 3rd world countries, if they can afford it or if there is no place to get it done. It can be a dangerous procedure leading to death.

  • I hate this with a passion. Women are really the weakest sex. They can’t handle a damn thing, can they? They play fast and loose with life like they’re god or something. It’s actually sickening. If they don’t want it, then it’s worth nothing. And then everybody acts like that’s okay or something.

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    • You’re all brainless. One person says something and you all follow along.

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    • Extremely.

    • Damn who reportedmy comment

  • do what you want overpopulation and people in orphans is a problem

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  • Thank you for sharing your story. It's great to see a real life example of how the decisions surrounding pregnancy and termination really play into REAL lives rather than the politically charged rhetoric we are used to from both sides of the abortion conversation.

    Regrets are part of our nature as humans, but I hope you can focus on the blessings your two children are you your life and not on anything else. As someone else pointed out, we make the best decisions we can based on what we know, believe and feel at the time. That is all we can do, and all we can ask of ourselves, and we shouldn't have any regrets about that.

    I wish you happiness and peace of mind.

    PS - I have always thought Saskia was a beautiful name.

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  • Well I Believe abortion is wrong and I Will never do it myself. But we can't go back now so just gonna try to move forward

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