I have a girlfriend. Let's call her Ada.
Ada is a very sweet, intelligent and beautiful girl, if a bit shy and introverted. She's one year my senior and we met at the University three years ago.
In the faculty we were going to some students had made a study group, and we both ended up in it. I had noticed Ada was always studying by herself and rarely spoke, so I thought to try chatting her up.
Surprisingly enough, she got very chatty and friendly after ten minutes of talking, and soon was leading the conversation by herself. I could only listen in awe, she had a way with words that I could never imagine from a quiet girl like her.
So things started to develop.
We started studying together, we started going at each other's house and we even gave some exams together. A close friendship first born, and later deeper feelings.
I had never had a girlfriend, and she never had a boyfriend, nonetheless we were quite comfortable and became a couple.
As we became closer and closer, something changed. It was something I had noticed before, but now it was getting even more evident. There were moments Ada seemed a completely different person, with a different way of speaking and mannerisms.
There were moments she threw out every precaution and shyness she usually had out of the window and spoke her mind, and sometimes this included pretty strong, vulgar and sometimes unnerving thoughts.
That's when another person, Adele, came out.
Ada was gentle and delicate, but also shy and insecure. Adele was the opposite: assertive, confident, but also jealous and possessive.
They were wildly different in tastes too: Ada hated smoking and the only alcohol she drank was wine at meals, Adele smoked packets and could finish bottles of Vodka by herself.
They treated me differently too: Ada was thoughtful and always did her best to not upset me, while Adele was more passional but also made herself no problems in speaking her mind or calling me an idiot when she wanted to.
Even for sex they were different. Adele usually did and wanted things that Ada found disgusting.
They argued between themselves too: Ada accused Adele of being an immature emotional wreck while Adele denounced her as a stuck up and snobby bitch.
Once I got settled with the situation I did my best to help the two personalities get along and tried to get her see a therapist. One of the few things they agreed on was that they didn't want to get professional help as they would have "saw it out".
So for a roughly a year we went on like this. Id didn't know what the exact trigger for a switch was, but I recognized when it was happening because she'd get all quiet, occasionally muttering to herself. It sounds incredible, but I understood who was in charge just by her eyes. Ada had a more shifty, open gaze, Adele was much more focused.
With both of them, I had good moments and bad moments. It was like dealing with two girls, they both loved me and I loved both of them.
Then came last year. They suddenly started to argue much more between themselves, at first for divergences in food tastes, then because Ada always wanted to stay in control while Adele didn't want to "share me" anymore.
The situation started to get worse. Adele started to cut and hurt herself because Ada hated the pain and it kept her quiet, while Ada started to resent me for allowing Adele to do that to her. Again, I tried to have them go to a therapist, both of them didn't want.
I was walking on eggshells with both of them, they had started to passionately hate each other and would be angry with me for "enabling" the other. There were moments they decided it was all my fault and they would take turns at chewing me out. I just swallowed and endured them because I loved them both.
On the 25th of May last year, the situation precipitated. Adele had decided she had enough and threatened to kill herself, both of them. Ada was desperate and pleaded her to not do that, while screaming at me to help her. She was sitting on the rail of a bridge near our houses. The moment Adele started talking again, I just pulled her down and tackled her to the ground. She screamed, punched and bite me, yelling she'd kill both of us (me and Ada) and she hated us.
That night I took both of them home and after we all calmed down, we talked. Finally, they agreed to go and see a therapist.
They are still going to this day, and things got much better. Now they compromise on most things and act more like a single entity. Adele has stopped hurting herself and Ada is much more relaxed and serene as well. The therapist objective is to either make them merge.or at least get along and compromise. They can't and don't want to eliminate each other, and although the path is difficult, we are hopeful. I just keep making clear and show that I love, respect and accept both of them, and I'll always do.
Ada, I love you.
Adele, I love you.