I want to talk about something that happened to me a few years back. I've previously only been able to speak to my mother whose passed and more recently my mother in law/boyfriend about this but I think bottling it up hasn't helped but it might help someone else as it's hard to express the words in person.
A few years ago, I met this guy. I'm not going to sugar coat it, he was a one night stand. Just he wanted more than that. So I let things carry on with him appearing every so often for a #friend'swithbenefit sort of thing.
Being in university, away from home for the first time and having a active social/work life I just accepted it. but it came to the point he'd keep coming round asking for money. Including if he seen I was on dates with other guys. By that point I was aware he took drugs.
Eventually I had enough.
So one night, after a few drinks (I wasn't tipsy,, just merry) I thought it was a good time to get my money back... I'd arranged to meet him in a bus stop.
Think that was my first mistake.. once I was there he was just adamant he just wanted sex. There. In the bus stop. Id told him no. Id came there for my money.
He pulled my trousers down, and pulled me on top of him. To the point I had bruises on my legs where he held me. So I froze. I let it happen..
Afterwards there wasn't any talking. I walked home. Didn't mention to anyone. I was embarrassed. I refused to answer his calls/texts and if anything I drank more often. And I started getting these weird texts off a random number like 'ive got the cheese.' but they wouldn't reply to me.
So my friends would contact that number. Turnt out he'd given my number to his dealer when I wouldn't reply. So I had to change my number. And luckily didn't see him around after that.
I'm still not sure what to call what happened. Its taken me 4 years being with my partner to start opening up about this which also came out whilst I was drunk and emotional(my mother hadn't long passed away) . My mother basically said it was my fault for #drinking.
And it's taken me this long to start accepting it.
I'm still not sure what to call it.
But please, if your ever meeting anyone, make sure you have someone with you... And don't bottle things up like I have
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2Opinion
The fault is solely on the person that did this to you. That would be rape.
true