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Relationships

To marry or break up: A decision I can't decide! (Page 2)

Aysen
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  • HOAAH
    HOAAH Follow
    Guru Age: 40
    +1 y

    Could you possibly just focus on getting a new tech degree that makes better money? Computer tech? Register nurse? Electrician? If you made more money, i think you would solve most of this problem. Take out a loan, get. A degree, get a better paying job.

    4
    0 Reply
  • prasanp
    prasanp Follow
    Xper 5 Age: 34
    +1 y

    man. I don't need to read all the thing in detail. I will be honest with you; Its none of us to decide whether you both have to get married or not. Its all about you and her; discuss with her and make a choice how to live. A woman has given you with her life, do you think you have right to break her heart for any reason; we don't live in a world where man goes to work and women stay at home and look pretty; we are living where both of them work together and decide together; Our opinion and view does not matter, but her view and opinion matter to you; don't be stupid and insult her by talking stupid; If you think you lack something then work for it and put effort for it. Whether you achieve it or not does not matter, what matter is her being happy with you and you being happy with her.

    1
    0 Reply
  • Harmseygrace
    Harmseygrace Follow
    Yoda Age: 22
    +1 y

    Don't break up with her. Focusing on making more money, then marry her. She obviously loves you and that's not something you want to throw away. You've got to cling onto that, it doesn't matter how undeserving you think you are. She loves you for a reason.

    4
    0 Reply
  • holograph
    holograph Follow
    Xper 7 Age: 41
    +1 y

    If you asked her to marry you, with all your problems, would she say yes or no? I think it's pretty darn clear she would say yes. Trust her to make the right decision for her. If you don't want to marry her because you don't want to get married then don't ask her. But if you don't want to marry her because you aren't perfect then realize that nobody else is either. Every single issue you brought up is so common that I would bet MOST people feel that way at one point or another.

    1
    0 Reply
  • nerms123
    nerms123 Follow
    Guru Age: 44
    +1 y
    1.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    I think you are considering breaking up for the wrong reasons. I believe your girlfriend is your soulmate and you should face life problems together. Breaking up will not solve any of your problems. You have to put everything you have into being the best you can be and do what you can. But you also shouldn’t be overly hard on yourself. You should talk to her about your feelings about this.

    2
    1 Reply
    • Jamie05rhs
      Jamie05rhs
      +1 y

      Yeah, they're definitely soulmates.

      Reply
  • NyfikenSyd
    NyfikenSyd Follow
    Xper 6 Age: 46
    +1 y

    Everyone doubts themselves sometimes, especially when it comes to if they are worth love.
    The best advice I can give you is to show her what you wrote here. Be open and honest with her. You need to talk about this.

    And honestly; if this is not a love letter I don't know what is.

    2
    0 Reply
  • Dihiya
    Dihiya Follow
    Xper 5 Age: 28
    +1 y

    you need to discuss it with her , she and only "SHE" can help make the décision
    (but honestly if i were her i'd dump you not bc you have a lower income or whatever but bc of the breakup you made her go through and your behavior, i mean seriously ignoring her?)

    2
    0 Reply
  • Daniela1982
    Daniela1982 Follow
    Master Age: 38
    +1 y

    19 years and you are not married yet? It doesn't look like it will ever happen. She must either be super patient or super stupid to keep you. Sometimes I can't figure people out. They play dard ass with relationships and just waste each other's time when they could be married and have kids with someone else. But if it works for you that is all that matters.

    1
    0 Reply
  • DDpsy
    DDpsy Follow
    Yoda Age: 40
    +1 y

    Mary her. Marriage should be done early when both people don't yet have their shit together and work from there. This demented idea that everything should be done when both people are settled is the most damaging bullshit lie told to this generation. The repercussion will be clear in a few years.

    3
    0 Reply
  • smg99
    smg99 Follow
    Xper 7 Age: 43
    +1 y

    Maybe you should grow together than speculate on what you might not be. Put the insecurity aside as she did. Now it’s your time to be the role model you were for her. Practice what you preach or imbue. If her testament to you was in a diary that she wanted you to know then it means will you do the same for me if I’m there for you?
    So don’t bail out and grow together. It’s long established relationship don’t throw it away please:)

    1
    0 Reply
  • DavidGonzalez7
    DavidGonzalez7 Follow
    Xper 5 Age: 25
    +1 y

    I suggest to not breaking up with her. If she hasn’t left you because you don’t have money, then that’s a true woman right there. Talk to her about it. A woman’s love can be the most precious thing in the world. She loves you and by breaking up with her, what do you think could happen if she’s emotionally unstable?

    2
    0 Reply
  • winterfox10
    winterfox10 Follow
    Master Age: 33
    +1 y

    Dude, it seems like y'all are pretty close to married already. That girl loves you... like she LOVES you. She has put up with a lot over the years, and she has definitely seen you through the good and bad.

    I think you would be making the biggest mistake of your life to not ask her hand in marriage.

    2
    0 Reply
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    (30-35)
    +1 y

    If you’re not ready to marry her right now then don’t, she really sounds like a wonderful woman and you sound awesome together.
    I don’t think you want to break up with her, you’re just a bit confused.
    Stay with her, wait for the right moment and let everything happen

    1
    0 Reply
  • LuWe22
    LuWe22 Follow
    Guru Age: 30
    +1 y

    First focus on getting a better job, then focus on your mental health, then get your life together. Really you being insecure bc she is the breadwinner? Insecuritys are just made up fears by yourself. Always remember you are the director of your own damn life. You choose to be insecure, you choose to be sad, you choose to focus on the negative things. The truth is you don´t want to break up with her. She sees you in a different light as you believe about yourself.

    2
    0 Reply
  • Anpu23
    Anpu23 Follow
    Master Age: 56
    +1 y
    678 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    Stop it, you are not "holding her back," your helping her just as she is with you. Breaking up with her is just self pitty. Instead just work on you. Figure yourself out... And then figure the two of you out.

    2
    0 Reply
  • DiegoO
    DiegoO Follow
    Guru Age: 36
    +1 y

    Thanks for sharing your story, but you are losing time here. Get a therapist before you choose a foolish decision. She obviously wants to be the rest of her life with you, and I understand you feel like you can't assure her a future financial security. Only remember, there is always a solution.

    0
    0 Reply
  • DaMack999
    DaMack999 Follow
    Xper 7 Age: 35
    +1 y

    Break up. Love is clear like sky. U should never be in a position to be in what if this, or what if that? If you can be 1 million percent certain she is the one to make u happy for rest of your life. You're making a damn mistake the girl go and go find your true love. Ur Lust relationship now not love.

    0
    0 Reply
  • natgal
    natgal Follow
    Xper 6 Age: 41
    +1 y

    Good god that's a long entry and I did not read it all. If you not sure to marrying someone or not then there is a good chance you should not. To marry someone because the other one want it so a terrible idea. It's like aaah I'm so fat, let's eat more. When you know you know, if your not sure then it's your subconscious telling you it might not be a good idea

    0
    0 Reply
  • Avicenna
    Avicenna Follow
    Master Age: 55
    +1 y
    7.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    You're still young enough to do a career change. Find a better-paying career to get into than what you're doing now. If you have a realistic path to a better career yiu can gwt married to her.

    2
    1 Reply
    • Linda625
      Linda625
      +1 y

      Sound amazing

      Reply
  • TonyBologna25
    TonyBologna25 Follow
    Yoda Age: 32
    +1 y

    She sounds like she loves you man. Go back to school and fix yourself up. She’s only an elementary school teacher, not a CPA. It won’t be too hard to reach her income.

    4
    0 Reply
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