The writing of this short myTake was suggested and asked to me by @tallandsweet , who was curious to exactly know my fiancée's point of view and expectations about our relationship.
So I asked my fiancée exactly what she thought and how she considered our relationship.
Just as a bit of backstory, she's been my high school tutor and senior, and when we meet I was 14 while she was almost 18. Despite an age difference that it's very tangible in those years, we got closer and closer and have been best friends for almost eight years.
There were some hints of deeper feelings, but they never developed in the high school years.
Here are some of the points she has shared for me:
- She admitted that if it was up to her, we should have started dating much sooner, but since I was a minor and the school rules explicitly forbid that kind of things between tutors and juniors, she preferred to wait it out. Especially because she was also a top student and class representative.
- She knew many of the issues I have of the issues I have with women, especially due to the unstable relationships and going-ons I had with my mother and my sister growing up.
Funnily enough, she also joked she thinks she's also one of the causes of said issues.
Despite my reassuring her it's not the case, I do feel she's actually right about it.
- She has always had set goals of having a career, then a family, this one of the things I know that matter her the most. She's a go getter and already set her goals and can't stand wasting time. Hence why the topic of marriage and kids are very important to her.
- Naturally, she doesn't think those are everything in her life. While she was in University studying as a nurse, she did an incredibly high number of odd jobs, artistic work and even posed and acted in some independent projects. She's the smart, curious and multi-talented type, and I admire her a lot.
- She has no regrets. This is something she likes to always make clear to me. I admit that while I am no candid soul either, she too has her skeletons in the closet. One of the things I admire the most about her, and that I admit scares me at times, is that she's not afraid to be ruthless when the situation calls for it.
She tells me that the only actual regrets she has are not acting sooner on some things, and that she could have some things far better than she did, or that I saw some of those things and this actually did strain our friendship for a while.
She has no qualms to admit her maxim is "no regrets".
- Despite this, sometimes she feels really insecure, and I admit my indecisive behavior doesn't help. She admitted she has a big fear of rejection and to not be "good enough", also because I had chosen another girl before her and our friendship got strained as a result. To be fair, I didn't think she was interested in me that way at the time.
And also because I once remarked I felt she was "railroading" me towards her and this statement made her feel like the relationship was just "her" thing, and not "ours".
This, combined with the fact I kept helping out my ex with her issues, and some other situations, made her feel I wasn't happy in our relationship.
I admit this is a big fault of mine and I'm doing my best to fix it up.
No more messing around, no more indecisions, no more half-measures.
She helped me turn my life around when I needed to and I see she always loved me even when it meant suffering in silence. She's completely devoted and she deserves the same.
I already did a step in cutting off some unhealthy and wrong things and in proposing to her, now I have to maintain my promise and be the fiancée and husband she wants and deserves, the same way she wants to be my fiancée and wife.
Thank you for reading.
Most Helpful Opinions