How to Handle a Stubborn Disagreement With a Girl You Are Dating

[Apope16]

Both of you are dating and having sex. For whatever reason both of you get into a fight and have a disagreement. She is on one side of the issue and you are on the other side of the issue. She feels strongly and you feel strongly.

A weak man will simp. He will be weak and apologize even though he morally feels he has done nothing wrong. He will suck up to her and beg her to stay.

An alpha male will refuse to apologize. Refuse to negotiate. In his strength he will walk away from a woman he really likes and cares for.

Is there a middle ground?

YES.

Women are emotional creatures. It is their nature. It doesn't mean they aren't smart or wise or logical. What I mean is they are by nature driven to value emotion over reason. Often times arguments happen because a man has a logical position and a woman is holding a logical position that is based on an unmet emotional need of validation.

Do what you can to keep that special woman while at the same time keeping that masculine frame. Because if you don't keep your masculine frame and go against your beliefs just to make her happy...then she will NEVER respect you.

Solution?

1. Sit down and talk to her in a respectful way over tea or coffee.

2. Listen to her without saying a word

3. Repeat back what she says so that she feels validated and listened to

4. Tell her that you agree to disagree about the situation

5. Tell her that even though you disagree you really care about her and think she is special in your life

6. Tell her that you feel bad about hurting her or making her feel pain

7. Ask her if there is a way to move forward while at the same time cherishing each other

This is not a guarantee to work guys. But the point I am trying to make is that often times women are not fighting you based on logic. They just want the emotional validation that you care about her and thinks she is special. A lot of times she will forgive you because that is all she wants to hear.

[MzAsh]

There is a good fundamental here. But more than validation and feeling special is the need to be heard. It can be a simple “I hear you.” But mean it if you say it.
You don’t have to agree with her on everything. But if she’s got you backed into a corner where you are clearly in wrong, then you must apologize. There’s no way wiggling your way out if it. Humble your ego and admit when you are wrong if you are.

[Apope16]

GOOD POINT.❤👍🏾😊❤

[Apope16]

Numbers 2 and 3 is being heard. Thats how you do it.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think none of this works. I ask the person that I am sleeping to buy me another vibrator or half of it. And he wouldn’t

[Apope16]

👍🏾🤣

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you

[sp33d]

How'd the two get together at all if he was going to "simp"? Disagreements happen, naturally. Principle of charity is a healthy way of handling it. There is nothing "masculine" or "alpha" about what you describe. I fail to see why you even bring this alpha shit up here.

How is it that you explore some deeper relationship issues while you are only concerned about your own image?

"Women are emotional creatures. It is their nature." Why do you distinguish between men and women during disagreements? Everybody has emotions. Disagreements need not be based on emotion.

"Often times arguments happen because a man has a logical position and a woman is holding a logical position that is based on an unmet emotional need of validation." So a man is rarely at fault and somehow it's the woman that is often somehow being malicious about it? I don't buy it.

Keep in mind that all disagreements need not have resolutions. A solution is to be more humble, but you are not even considering it - instead, you would resort to manipulation (#5 for instance). Worse, you call it a potential solution. Most of all, why would you have to treat your woman like a child?

[lightbulb27]

Well said. I'll add one snippet.

Ask the person to reaffirm what you are saying is what they said.

Ex. "I heard you say that I'm lazy by throwing my clothes on the floor rather than hanging them up, is that correct"? Keep tuning in until you get clarity. See if can find an area to agree upon and as well soothe the emotion.

A lot of times people just want to be heard, they have something important and want you to see it. The seeing it can be frustrating because we block, we don't see ourselves as we are, but as some projection. Johari Window is a simple tool that explains that we are blind.

Just coming out the winner all the time... is bad. It means a person is hard and won't see things any other way. you didn't say that, just saying.

[ThePinkKnight37]

believe we are entitled to our own opinions, on things, but you are right about woman. But if you find a guy that is compassionate, empathic and loving. Things like that will not happen very often. I like when a woman stands up to me. there are times I missed the clue, does not mean I do not care, I am just thick headed (Most men are). Plus you as women have a issue i try t bring up and end uppo getting into disagreements about. That is you guys tend to talk in circles. Men need to
be smacked in the face with stuff sometimes. Just say what you mean and do not make it a riddle. If you care about them enough give the man three chances, most times he will get it on the second chance, but if he misses it three times, he may not be as into you as you are in him, sad to say. You must be willing to bend in a relationship and I said bend Not fold, like a simp.

[TeeBar]

Apope16's step-by-step process mimics the process a hostage negotiator follows when trying to defuse a touchy situation. Never outright disagree with any of her points, regardless how incorrect or bat-sh*t crazy they may be. The main goal is to remove the emotion from the discussion and make her feel relaxed and vindicated. One of the best ways to win the argument is to surrender, agree to everything she wants and then move on to casual small talk: "Should we order a pizza? What's your preference?"; "Have you seen the latest Batman flick?"; or "Are you up for the latest "Law and Order?". Your questions should be designed to get her to start talking as once she's talking her unrest will quickly fade away.

[Anonymous]

Also time heals.. silly fights can be healed with time even if there are differences in opinions. Give your significant other space to rethink and calm down ( also good for you), so you two can talk calmly without having a heated argument.. esp if the love is there.
It’s better to do this then to say things you will end up regretting. Also it’s true girls like to feel validated and most importantly loved, you don’t need to agree with us.. just accept that we also have a different point of view

[psychoticanimallover]

It’s a hard one but I’d say, first thing’s first, probably pull out.

[Apope16]

Pull out and use a condom instead? haha. what?

[Anonymous]

No 8 Grab a firm hold of her, put her across your knee, pull down her pants or lift her skirt/dress, pull down her underwear and spank her bare bottom as hard as you can for 5-10 minutes. If you've done it right she won't be able to sit down for a week and will respect you as a man. A bonus of it will be that she will be wetter than October so you can take her upstairs and have your way with her.

[supercutebutt]

October is the driest month where I cum from.

[bamesjond0069]

This. No need for nonsense words like original post. The man is the man. I literally have grunted at girls when i had enough of some silly conversation. If they dont like it spank them till they do.

[girlzruleboyzdrool]

Wow!! I can't believe you guys. What's with this. My husband has started this shit on me too and I think you are all being ridiculous. Spanking us is not the answer... unless you want a war that is

[Opinion Owner]

@girlzruleboyzdrool he needs to spank you harder

[girlzruleboyzdrool]

Um no he doesn't. And it's ridiculous that adult females are getting spanked. Spankong me harder starts a feisty war

[girlzruleboyzdrool]

@bamesjond0069 jerk. That shit doesn't work without a defiant reaction.

[girlzruleboyzdrool]

You've just been lucky you never had a girl like me to deal with. I'd show you a thing or two. You can't mess with all girls.

[Anonymous]

All of this stuff just seems to be made for those who don’t have a clue tbh. It’s simple, just be a decent human being. Not an uncompromising idiot who isn’t good at relationships, and not a walk over who doesn’t respect himself. The simple healthiest middle ground without all of this BS is the obvious norm.

[Apope16]

This worked. Im sharing knowledge to help people. Women I have dated have ssid they felt heard and validated after a fight using this method.

[Opinion Owner]

I mean yeah, but people with issues attract others with issues so just because both are dysfunctional and are okay with each others dysfunction doesn’t always mean it’s the best way. Just an example of where this wouldn’t necessarily be a good thing so it’s good to be cautious with things like this.

[Anonymous]

Are you not the same "alpha man" who was going to climb out the window screaming like a little girl when someone banged on the apartment door of a woman you were screwing. Big tough alpha man. ROFL.

Your entire summary if very pretentious and phony. Patronizing. Will work for a low self esteem slut. It'd have you out the door faster than you can say shit with any respectful woman though

[ArrowheadSW]

I am not currently dating anyone, but I've been thinking about this lately. I've got into a lot of discussions lately about the pandemic and I was wondering if I was dating a woman who had an opposing view, what would I do? How would I handle it?

[Adam1978]

I would end up with 4. And act accordingly to my opinion. If she can't convince me that her view is better and I can make her see mine as the right path. That is the only thing that remain.

[spartan55]

To say that compromise is not an option, is not realistic to me. There isn't always a clearly defined winner in arguments. Compromise has its place depending on the issue.

[supercutebutt]

You can always tell a propaganda BS myTake or "opinion" because it will have oversized words in the middle.

[Roytag]

Haha true. Amazing how all these articles, posts about 'fact-based how-to-dos' are actually mostly 'myTake/opinion-based/propaganda'.

[CuriousBear2003]

UM WELL I feel like I have to do this with my boyfriend almost all the time & I would really like it to be done to me someday..

[Hangry22]

If you do point 3, I will leave cause that's kinda like a slap in the face

[Apope16]

"So, I hear you are saying you dont like me repeating things because it is a slap in the face. Do I have that right?"

Yes, I cam see that you are really angry with me. It makes me feel horrible that something I did made you feel shitty. I want you to know that I really care about you and it hurts me to see you upset. I dont expect forgiveness. But do you think we can do something fun together?

[Hangry22]

Wrong answer.
I mean as in saying the exact thing i said like in air quotes.
It's a wrong answer because you tried to divert the topic and saw it as an opportunity to ask out what you probably were thinking all along

[Maxilicious]

I don't agree alpha men will walk. Being comfortable in your frame is all about being able to concede the little things that aren't worth a battle or, discussing and agreeing to disagree. They don't need to be brutes to be alpha.

[MountAverage]

Oh boy, am I glad I don't have such retarded, unnuanced black & white views on human behavior. No wonder you have such severe dating issues.

[Roytag]

How will the fools write so genius How-to-Dos if they don't think things are black and white 😂. I agree with you.

[MountAverage]

@Roytag Haha, true true.

[Smegskull]

You're aloud to just disagree on stuff most things in a relationship don't have right or wrong answers. I don't see there being anything "to handle" here, it's just a disagreement.

[Anonymous]

She should just give him a good slap across his face or hide his stuff if he's being an a hole and then smirk because she just got away with it.

[KrakenAttackin]

Anonymous... Honey that's called ASSAULT! If they live together it's called DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!

[Opinion Owner]

@KrakenAttackin pffft... a guy can handle it

[KrakenAttackin]

Anonymous. And a modern woman can handle jail.

[Opinion Owner]

@KrakenAttackin too bad you couldn't handle a pester

[Roytag]

Anonymous has a CRIMINAL mentality. Period. God save their parter, if they ever have any.

[Opinion Owner]

@Roytag bahaha. You're inexperienced

[slatyb]

Wow, everyone I know would walk out if woman did that.

[Roytag]

@Anonymous yeah I'm inexperienced in abusive relationships. I like nice ones free from crime. Also, have a look at ALL the other comments. Talking to you is a time waste - just want you to know that what you think is Not Okay. Peace out.

[Opinion Owner]

Clearly you don't know how to handle a free spirited girl

[Roytag]

A free spirited girl can do anything she wants, for herself, but no one has the freedom to be an a-hole to others.

[Opinion Owner]

@Roytag it's a tiny little face pat. And a cocky grin afterwards

[KrakenAttackin]

Anonymous... Funny how that "Tiny little face pat" lands a man in JAIL, with a restraining order, a conviction for a crime of "moral turpitude" which will follow him for employment FOREVER, possible jail time, attorneys fees, fines, never being able to own a firearm again, being labeled as a "violent abuser"...

But for a woman to do it to a man it's "no big deal".

You are really fucked up.

[Opinion Owner]

@KrakenAttackin you have a hate on for women

[KrakenAttackin]

Anon. You are the one talking about violence and laughing.

[Opinion Owner]

@KrakenAttackin please. Look at your caps
You're a rager

[TruthBringer]

@Anonymous lovely how you kept beating around the double standard @KrakenAttackin has pointed out. If you think that slap to the face isn't something we can handle when we are used to much worse as fighting other MEN, then you're deluded. Aren't you women fighting for "equal rights"? But then again, this shows you can't handle equal accountability, responsibility or consequence.

[KrakenAttackin]

@TruthBringer Spot on!

[Opinion Owner]

@KrakenAttackin it's actually funny to push your buttons... easy now

[KrakenAttackin]

Classic female response. All you want is drama, drama, drama. And you wonder why you can't get a guy to do anything but fuck you.

[Opinion Owner]

@KrakenAttackin bahahH. I'm zen. Your caps writing, and swearing and name calling... chill out, she says (As she slaps his face )

[KrakenAttackin]

Anon. You and I could have great hate sex.

[Opinion Owner]

@KrakenAttackin baha 😎 you couldn't handle someone like me. You wouldn't be able to keep up

[KrakenAttackin]

"Couldn't handle someone " like you. Who the fuck wants to have to "handle" a neurotic, self-obsessed, VIOLENT, pain-in-the-ass like you? Seriously, it's not that I "couldn't" handle you, it's that I wouldn't even want to be in same room as you. You are trying to desperately to be a man.

[Opinion Owner]

@KrakenAttackin hahaha. Truly you know nothing... you know nothing, John Snow. Hahaha
I can just imagine you're usually alone with your hand and a hate on for women bc you can't have one...

[BestOpinions2020]

if she can hit him he can hit her back its equal rights but know one should hit anyone its stupid

[BestOpinions2020]

if my girlfriend did that I would leave her that's childish and not okay to do u sound like a crazy person

[Opinion Owner]

@BestOpinions2020 it might be true. But I'm fun

[syskerully]

Wait so calling her a dumb cunt and fucking her brains out through hatesex doesn't work?