Disagreements are inevitable in relationships and, hopefully, you will be able to resolve them and continue moving forward with your partner. Sometimes, it just requires talking and a willingness to compromise and, suddenly, you've broken past the log jam. But what do you do if your efforts are not successful. Here's one potential strategy.
First, ask yourself how important this is. Are you talking about where to have dinner tonight? Or are you discussing having her mother come to live with you? So topics are deal breakers, without a doubt, but not EVERY argument is worth having.
Next, would you be willing to let your partner win if they would do the same thing for you in your next disagreement?
If so, try this. "How important is this to you? Because it's not the most important thing on my mind right now."
If you partner says it isn't important to them either, then maybe you just don't need to have an argument at all. But - if it is important to them - say to them, "This seems to be more important to you than it is to me, so I am willing to let you have your way this time and we will do what you what . . . but the next time we have a disagreement and the subject is more important to me, will you be willing to do things my way?"
If so, perhaps you can back down with the feeling that you have some points in savings to use later. Of course, your partner can renege on their agreement later but, if that is their style, maybe you need to learn that now instead of 10 years from now when you have three kids. And if they do honor their promise, that helps to build trust and respect.
Maybe you will also learn that winning EVERY time really isn't that important.
This is just another strategy for resolving conflict. It may not work in your relationship. It may not work for every conflict. But maybe it will help some time in the future.
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