Hi Everyone! As a 21 year old who's been running this little race called life I've experienced a handful of romantic attachments and I'll give you all my opinion on what Men should do before pursuing a love interest. I'll try to condense it as much as I can, and try not to get too passionate about some things I feel strongly about. This is geared toward Men, but it can apply to the ladies as well
1. Setting goals for your self. When you commit to something stick to it. I personally haven't met a woman that wanted to date a man who had zero ambition to make himself better. And the ones that have, end up in terrible situation. And setting goals for yourself can give you a sense of who you are and what you want. Someone who isn't consistent with their life goals, it can show in how they carry themselves in their relationships and life.
2. Face your demons. No one lives a perfect life. Things happen to us that can carry us into unhealthy places. I remember when my first ever girlfriend cheated on me and pinned it all on my insecurities and it went on to purge future relationships I've had because I couldn't confront the things that haunted my past. After I lost a really good woman, I realized then that confronting the demons that plagued me was gonna be the first step to change. Getting help isn't a bad thing. And therapy has served me tremendously well in addressing all the pent up emotions that hurt me and the ones I loved.
3. Learn how to fight/defend yourself and get fit. Being on this earth, I've been through and seen some things. While I was repairing myself, a friend of mine had invited me to his fight gym. They offered a wide array of martial arts. I ended up falling in love with the arts of Judo and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Learning to fight has also enforced something I hadn't felt before-humility. It didn't matter if you were America's top surgeon, a CEO or a high profile person of some sort. When you step onto the matts who you are doesn't matter, but what you can do amidst chaos, and resistance. And from my experience I don't know a woman who wants a man who doesn't work on being able to handle himself/is in poor shape.
Lastly this one's gonna sting...
4. Be honest with yourself. And in the words of my father, "Fix your bullshit". Stop making excuses for some of the things you enable in your life. If you wanna make that change, you wanna get ahead, you wanna get better. You've gotta do better, and that takes work. Sometimes the partners we end up with are a reflection of the things we enable in our lives. If we enable toxicity it will surely come for you. And I'll admit there were times where I was the toxic one, acting immature, drinking with my boys til 3am and wondering where time went. You've gotta cut the crap from your life. No one is truly perfect the way they are.
There's a lot more to this but I'm keeping it condensed. If any of the ladies wanna chime in feel free to, I love open convo. Fellas if you like something or not tell me. I'm all ears and wanna hear what everyone has to say.
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Yep, the things that are expected of men... that come with a penis !!
This is good my take but it can apply to girls too :)