All Your Fault In Relationships

[torrahallo]

It's not uncommon for individuals to deflect blame or responsibility when they feel guilty or ashamed about their own behavior. Here are a few possible reasons why your partner may be blaming you for problems they have caused:

Denial: Sometimes individuals deny their own behavior and attempt to shift the blame onto someone else in order to avoid feeling responsible or accountable for their actions.

Defensiveness: If your partner feels attacked or criticized, they may become defensive and attempt to shift the blame onto you as a means of deflecting attention away from their own behavior.

Projection: Sometimes people project their own negative traits or behaviors onto others in order to avoid confronting them in themselves. In this case, your partner may be projecting their own actions or mistakes onto you.

Control: Blaming someone else can also be a way for your partner to maintain control in the relationship. By making you feel responsible for problems they have caused, they may be trying to manipulate or control the situation to their advantage.

Regardless of the reason, it's important to communicate with your partner and express how their behavior is impacting you. I

t may be helpful to use "I" statements rather than "you" statements when discussing the issue, as this can help your partner feel less attacked and more open to a constructive conversation. It's also important to set clear boundaries and expectations for how you expect to be treated in the relationship.

If your partner is constantly blaming you for problems they have caused and refuses to take responsibility for their behavior, it may be necessary to seek professional help or consider ending the relationship.

[Guy13]

The mechanisms when dealing with couple relationship conflict resolution is not difficult, however, it has everything to do with emotional and physical intimacy. Simply, there are two forms of relational communications and they are an internalizing and an externalizing analysis. Some people do one or another and some do both.

The first one is internal communications where self-blaming occurs. The second one is external communications where one feels the spouse is at fault for the other person's pain and for the relational issue as a whole. All the other "why and what for (s)" are clutter and used to either internalize and accuse Self or externalize and accuse Others.

Terms and phrases like "you are in denial, defensive, projecting" is counterproductive and to care about that is both Childish and Destructive. Continually degrading oneself or another externally, with these terms, is to do great harm. Anyone who thinks these words are solution needs to get out in the real and stop living in the theoretical world. .

Labeling is destructive, self-justifying, and a waste of energy when that energy should be focused upon "What is and Why is this occurring?" 1. state the Issue or Problem without psychological labels and withhold, both nonverbal and verbal, Judgment. 2. am I beating myself up internally or my partner externally with Blame? 3. state personal fears, feelings, thoughts, etc. I feel you are projecting and in denial because... is not what needs to be said. Simply state your feelings without judgment and recognize that you are 50% of the Problem.

Self-Discipline in controlling both the mind and tongue.

[Anonymous]

uh it was all her fault actually she's the one who kept cheating, having her family and friends cover for her infidelity, never saying thank you or showing the slightest bit of appreciation for anything i did for her, never calling or emailing or texting never reaching out first, her continuous drug and alcohol use which caused her to od and she still kept using after that, i had to i could go on and on but it would take way to long.

[Valkyria]

Yeah, the context isn't about people saying such in general. There are some cases, especially short-term, where there is only one person doing everything wrong, e. g. cheating, lying. I'm pretty sure that's not what they're trying to refer to.

And the irony of the title statement is to go against it and suggests that "they say it's all my fault but I say it's all their fault" which doesn't mean you're better in that context.

[DizzyDesii]

I always take responsibility for my part in the wrong doing. But its almost always just a “part”. I like to state what I did wrong and what the other did wrong or could’ve done better as well. I don’t mind going down but if i’m not the only one in the wrong, I’m taking you down with me. I rarely apologize because I’m often not sorry. But i do like to know what I could do better to improve so that apologies are not warranted

[Charlesbrandonf]

May be but sometimes your partner is all wanted a sorry. Not every situation comes for the second time to do better or improve. A single meaningful sorry is going to help a lot at times. It alone might not help but surely there will be times.

[DizzyDesii]

@Charlesbrandonf If i say sorry, its because i mean it. I rarely say sorry for a reason

[sheenagwapa]

if you are the prideful type yoy don't even have to apologize if that's so hard for you. YOU JUST HAVE TO ADMIT


you just say what happened. like for example now in my life rigjt now, a certain person is a big help to me eith my OCD but if let's say an other OCD patient approach me and this is the treatment i would just wish them to die

[jennifer_bloom]

The way I see it - don't negotiate or change or win approval - if somebody acts like a dog, put them in the dog house and find a guy who acts like a human.

[MarkHrdman]

👎 Anyone who is defensive about something in a relationship is obviously because they care.

If they wherent in a relationship, they wouldn't be standing there arguing about it but have moved on without caring.

Your issue is that you want to confront the person in the relationship & I quote "I" to pass the blame, rather then considering that you could be wrong about your point of view or they could be wrong about there's or simply trying to avoid confrontation.

Generally these traits are associated with cheating and obviously by driving someone out of a relationship is undoubtably why you're concluding with ending a relationship with someone you can't get a direct answer out of, with no contimplation of caring about someone you're in a relationship with who has there faults that theyre struggling to deal with in life, hence trying to avoid.

So on this basis, it posses the question as to if you should be in a relationship at all, if you can't accept that all humans have there frailties, dispite your perfect attendence.

Which may also lead to the fact that you drive people away, which would explain how articulate you're with fronting people as a challenge threw different dynamics to make people back down with your & I quote "I".

Which is disfunctional to shift the blame of your issue back to someone as if to punish or penalise someone, so there's no wonder why you drive people away other people with your "I feel" statement which is obviously compounded negativity.

Where as you're probably looking for a sub, since you're toxic and want to hinder woman with a toxic relationship as opposed to being attracted to narsasistic woman who are seeking compliments who my be duluded into admiration of your perfect attendence to give you praise in anticipation of getting the reward of praise back on if you're acknowledging them just like how you baited them to start with and continue to bait them.

So you should consider professional help for yourself before you involve another human being into your shit.

[StormChaser838]

Yes its called projection, in psychology, It is a very complex thing, a person is just not programed to see the truth, only their perspective of it. We come back to the famous words of poet William Blake, When the doors to perception are cleansed, all things shall seem infinitive. ( hope I got it right) , but its very profound.

[Gibbons44]

Has not been. I got pushed into a few I neitger needed nor liked by the people who stole me as a baby, caused me some injury/harm, and pretended to be my parents. Those were never going to work out.

Monday this week was the first time I got liked up close by a girl I'd genuinely want a relationship with.

[RavVid]

Interesting. I think projection is particularly strong since you tend to interpret people in your own framework. If you would do X then you likely think others do X.

[Finchie40]

Yup this is common for people that have Bi polar depression or PTSD , it is never their fault

[RavVid]

Why PTSD? I am questioning because I am interested not because I am disputing. I think someone with PTSD would avoid feeling negative and reject fault. Is that the reasoning? Haven't thought about this before.

[Finchie40]

PTSD is a negative disorder , it’s primary caused from negative trauma in their lives , when someone with PTSD has an episode , they project negative emotions towards someone that does nt have PTSD , mainly a loved one , they have flashbacks of negative trauma and will usually attack the one they love the most.

[Sleeper07]

I communicate my boundaries and make it clear what it is that I'm missing, if I don't get what I need over time I will cheat, and I won't feel guilty about it.

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[rienna888]

yes the last man i dated almost never accept responsibility

[AdithyaR]

What about when ones default behaviour is to take up all the guilt and blame on onself even when told otherwise and always feel like one is at fault.

[LiamJHayden]

Every failed relationship I have had has been mostly or totally my doing.

[Anonymous]

Are you not going to credit the original article you took this from?

[spartan55]

So if you hurt someone you aren't sorry?

[Alex8736]

textbook Narcissistic Personality Disorder

[Bklynbadboy12]

No that's very common

[AMS700CX4u2]

Well stated