Look, what I’m gonna tell you is that you can be comfortable just how you are, where you are, and not even worry about it.
And I don’t mean this as far as hobbies goes- those should always be proactive. Even refreshing oneself via spa, gym, hiking, yoga or other- is proactive.
What I mean is, how you interact and engage other people.
Nobody needs you. They are capable adults, and can handle themselves. Don’t feel obligated to be a “pick-up nanny” for their baggage, a punching bag for their quirky attitudes and silent treatments; don’t be a mom or mentor. They’ll get things when they want.. and their light bulb will go off when it’s right. 💡
No thanks to you. 👐
Am I saying this to be mean? No I’m saying you don’t have to carry some “invisible, wet-rag” with you, wherever you go.
I bring this all up here, today, to remind you-
and bring this to your attention:
If you gave someone an extra napkin at a diner because their table ran out of napkins- would you expect them to follow you everywhere, make you their best friend, hug you and give you lots of high fives? No? 😂
No is right. We don’t expect others to fall in love 😻 with us, or befriend us if we do simple and GOOD things for them,
and why do we even do those things? Because it’s called living and we can. Human nature. Human CHOICE. You can hand them the napkin or let them just get one from the counter.
It’s a choice.
So if we don’t expect others to “fall madly” in love with us 💘 or shower us with praise 💕 for the napkin…
then, we shouldn’t expect those things from people, when we choose to offer them profound advice, a listening ear, a helping hand or other-
it’s called living.
No one owes you anything, and you don’t owe them anything, and the sooner you realize that-
you can stop feeling pressured, obligated, or the need to perform, and you’ll stop expecting everyone to be your very best friend just because you did…
something REALLY nice…
consider it the same 🤷♀️
and take a stance today, as to whether you will live your life doing nice things, or you simply won’t? 🤷♀️
You’re not the maid… the mom… the hero…
the mentor… or savior. 🦸♀️
Your first identity is just.. being.. human. 👥 🌎
And with a life given JUST
you get to live that first, and foremost.
As you *ENGAGE*
emphasis on engage-
and socialize with others, you can choose
if you will do nice things along the way, or not.
Nice people don’t always make friends or lovers
because that’s not how the world operates 🤷♀️
Those other humans aren’t obligated to be your maid OR your friend!
We think there’s an unwritten rule to be friends just because we are nice, but that isn’t the case, and
I say: no,
there is no such law that exists. 🙅♀️
Where that would even be slightly true.
Everything in this life is based on compatibility.
Consider it a gift, and literally as rare as a shooting start.
We make friendships seem common… but how many have gone to adopt a pet and see many of the options there do not attach or bond to them (right away).
How many animals bond to each other and become close friends?
and that low chance and rate is NORMAL.
We seem to normalize friendships, but it’s O K A Y
If it doesn’t work.
stresss yourself out
or fake it, to please others.
Stop ✋ thinking being nice is the recipe and formula to a really great friend because they won’t always reciprocate,
and they won’t always think the way you do… 🧠
Genuine, friendship-bonding, IS as rare as shooting stars. 💫
And we all don’t check every night for shooting stars…
we only happen to look, if we ever do go out star-gazing, but even so, we remain calm and collected- ourselves, and enjoy all the rest that we do see.
We go to work and hang out with good people… go out to fun places, but we don’t walk with our heads glued to the sky for any glimpse of a shooting star!!
If it happens? It happens 🤷♀️
Same thing with friendship.
So don’t feel sad if it doesn’t happen. 💯
There’s other stars and other things you can do to enjoy the night… ✨
and enjoy your life…
I say ALL of this today,
because I would find myself upset when friendships didn’t go as planned- things I had invested in- into people, my time, mental energy, my emotionally-charged self lol and my best, honest, and purest intentions-
I’d find that there was no reason to go forward- zero vibes. No reciprocation… nothing..
and when my mind matched up with my heart, ♾️ and my heart matched up with my mind… ☯️ and I realized on the other end, was a person I paid so much attention to, who didn’t care… while I had wasted MONTHS of this rare thing, I call a life…
I was… upset. Naturally, and with *seemingly* ☝️ good reason,
but then I thought: I don’t owe them anything… I didn’t have to spend my money on those people… I didn’t have to do a single solitary thing to be nice, win them over, help them, or anything…
and they didn’t have to reciprocate or do other nice things just because I had done so. 🤷♀️
Did I ever stop to ask if they even liked me?
Maybe they didn’t even like me?? 🤷♀️
Maybe we just didn’t vibe…
and that’s okay.
But instead of feeling like you waste time, or stressing over the search for shooting stars…
- Enjoy the night.
- Enjoy your life.
- Enjoy what you DO have, and where you plan to go…
- BE YOU
• you don’t have to change…
• you don’t have to change up how you treat anyone.
- Choose today.
Will you DO nice things..
Big and/or small
will you just go about your business- which you have every right to do.. ☝️
This is my my take on social circles, ⭕️ and making sure your circle is complete 🤲🙌, as you maneuver the other circles of the world.
- Be complete
- Be content.
And if the vibe happens.. you have my truest applause and congratulations 🙂☺️🫂🎊🍾
(All images sourced from Google)
Most Helpful Opinions
I don't think I've ever done anything nice for someone and expected them to be my friend afterwards.
Essentially what you're saying is, stop simping lol