It’s Not Me, It’s My Brain (Only Vibes Allowed)..

[LiaRaven]

Human brains are wired for connection, but not universally. We don’t feel drawn to everyone equally, and for some of us, this selectivity feels especially intense or mysterious. It’s as if our brain is a filter, tuned to certain frequencies, resonating only with specific people while others fade into the background. This selective affinity might feel strange or even irrational, but it’s actually rooted in deep neuroscience, psychology, and personal history.

At the core of this “weird” preference is the brain’s emotional circuitry. When we encounter someone who fits a familiar or comforting emotional pattern, maybe they remind us of someone we loved or needed as children, our brain releases a cocktail of neurochemicals like dopamine and oxytocin. These create feelings of trust, attraction, or comfort, sometimes instantly and inexplicably. It’s less about conscious choice and more about unconscious recognition.

But this is also where the brain gets quirky. Sometimes we prefer people who aren’t necessarily “good” for us, but who light up familiar neural pathways. This is known as repetition compulsion, our brain’s sneaky way of seeking resolution through reenactment. Or we may feel an instant connection to someone because of subtle cues: tone of voice, eye contact, smell, or body language. Our brain picks up these signals before we even become aware of them.

Additionally, the prefrontal cortex, responsible for decision-making and social behavior, interacts constantly with the amygdala, which processes emotion. When this partnership is especially sensitive or unique in an individual, they may experience intense preferences for certain people while feeling indifferent or even disconnected from others. It’s not snobbery or strangeness—it’s neurodiversity in action.

So yes, maybe my brain is “weird,” but maybe that’s just another way of saying it’s wonderfully specific. It doesn’t connect with everyone, and that can be isolating or confusing. But when it does connect—with the right person—the depth, intensity, and authenticity of that connection is unmatched.

In the end, it’s not a flaw. It’s a signature. My brain prefers specific people because it’s built to find meaning in particular bonds, not popularity. And maybe that’s not weird at all. Maybe that’s just being deeply human.

[SueShe]

I am in the fortunate situation that I have the ability to like overrule the idiosyncrasies that my brain tends to want to dictate me in terms of like/dislike and all its associated problems and issues that people want to ignore.

While the brain in itself is an extraordinary part in itself, it tends to make you irrational decisions when it comes to relationships. Those decisions more often than not, will lead you to be trapped if you don't know (or don't want to) overrule the decisions it makes on your behalf.

People often make the wrong decision and then, pay dearly for it after a number of years when they realize that the relationship is not at all what they have expected it to be.

Making irrational decisions just because the time, the place, the mood or the pouring out of oxytocin and other hormones that make you act impulsively, undermine analytic and reasoning that could lead you to avoid making wrong decisions.

I pride myself not to make any decisions based on an impulse but thoroughly analyze the pros and cons of every decision I make. This state of mind has proved to be right because when I see how problematic human relationships are and mainly here on G@G, how many issues people have with their relationship, it only confirms what I have realized for a long time that the brain can be treacherous and detrimental to most relationships because people don't take the time to think and analyze the situation.

[Rosexøxø]

I feel like a lot of gunk gets put on GaG…

and this is by far, and most definitely not that. It’s as another said- articulate, and highly helpful and insightful. You even put your signature conclusion on this information at the end which made it feel personable.

Also since I have never heard of this before and until now, it helps solidify being okay when others don’t necessarily get along with me. I think it would be great if this was covered in education, either in sex ed, psychology class, or just in general. Young people need to realize rejection isn’t personal and there isn’t anything wrong with them when they’re not selected for things. It would help a lot of different people with a lot of their confidence and the lack of it. Just managing it overall.

Even grown women and men in particular can benefit from this, in aid to coping with actual rejection or the idea/concept of it.

All in all this was emotionally and MENTALLY refreshing. Thank you!

Best regards 💯💯💯

[Rosexøxø]

1,000% well written and well considered. Loved that you chose to make a my take on this.

[overlord337645]

society today is based upon the fact of the more people that like you the better off you are and thats not false but people need to understand if someone does not like you then they just not worth the effort I have a reaction when someone rejects me I lose all interest in that person I can't exactly say why but it comes in handy. Remember our worth is humans is not defined by what people say and I would even argue what people say ussually pushes us to define who we really are outside of there world

[TheSpaceGnome]

You're overthinking it.

You are your entire nervous system.
It's not something that governs you, it IS you.
You have the ability to have your logic guide your emotions and attraction.
Its not reinforced by "reward chemicals".
Its reinforced by acknowledgement, love, desires, worry, boredom, etc. Things that are purely mental.

The reward chemicals are from arousal and release, which can occur with or without a mate, and with or without compatibility.

[exitseven]

Yes, there are certain people that we a drawn to and to make it more complicated it is not a binary phenomenon but more of a spectrum.

I dated somebody who I couldn't get enough of. I counted to days until I would see her again. Sometimes the next day I would wake up with some weird hangover. When she dumped me I really felt like the world ended for me. I guess the good news was that desperation did not last long but it was a real roller coaster.

[Pearl222]

Loved this! Very interesting to read and it actually makes a lot of sense considering how it influences natural selection.

[Sparklight]

Wow! This is very well written, and makes a lot of sense to me. You are very articulate.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

"It’s less about conscious choice and more about unconscious recognition."

[Grond21]

I like this one. It makes weirdness feel normal

[blackeagle007]

It seems you like men

[LiaRaven]

Ohhhh, realllllly? Lmao

[blackeagle007]

Do you really

[LiaRaven]

Really, really lol

[FunkyMonkee]

Vibes?

[LiaRaven]

Yeah
just means the feeling or energy you get from someone or something. Like a gut sense, good, bad, chill, weird.

[FunkyMonkee]

How do vibes respond to this question?

[Panthero80]

Deep thoughts...