One of my biggest mistakes in life is thinking people will show me the same love l've shown them…

[LiaRaven]

There’s a quiet kind of pain that comes from giving your heart to someone and realizing they’ll never give theirs back in the same way. It’s not loud or sudden like heartbreak in the movies. It builds slowly, in long silences, in unanswered messages, in the feeling that you’re always the one trying harder. You show up for people because it’s in your nature to care, to give, to love deeply. You believe, maybe without even realizing it, that they’ll do the same.
But not everyone does.Sometimes you pour your love into people who don’t know how to hold it. You give your time, your energy, your full presence, expecting nothing but hoping, quietly, that it matters. You listen when they need to talk, support them through dark moments, celebrate their joy like it’s your own. You love them in the way you wish to be loved, fully, honestly, without hesitation.

And then, the truth settles in like a cold wind, they don’t feel the same. Or maybe they do, but they’re not willing to show it. Maybe they take what you give, say thank you, and move on. Or worse, they expect it. They grow used to your kindness, begin to treat it like something they’re owed, and forget it was ever a gift.

That kind of realization breaks something inside you. It makes you question not just them, but yourself. Am I too much? Too emotional? Too soft? You start to wonder if love is a mistake, if caring so deeply is a flaw instead of a strength.

But the truth is, your love isn’t the problem. The way you give, freely, without keeping score, is rare. It’s something beautiful in a world that often forgets how to be gentle. The real lesson is not to stop loving, but to stop expecting everyone to love the same way. Some people will never match your energy, your effort, your heart. And that’s okay.

You begin to learn the difference between giving and losing yourself. You set boundaries, not because you want to close yourself off, but because you finally understand that you deserve the same love you give. The people who are meant for you won’t let you carry the weight of the relationship alone. They’ll meet you in the middle, without you having to ask.

It takes time to heal from one-sided love. It takes time to forgive yourself for letting it go on for so long. But with each day, you grow stronger. You learn to love yourself more deeply. You learn that it’s not wrong to love fully, but it is important to choose wisely where you place that love.

In the end, the pain of being unloved the way you love doesn’t make you weak. It means your heart is open, honest, and real. And one day, someone will see that, someone who will hold your love with the same care you give to others. Until then, you keep loving, but now, you include yourself in the list of people you won’t leave behind.

[ohsheeT]

Yes weather it's in a relationship or a friend ship we learn
If we are a giver we are always going to feel we give more than we receive.

And if we are a taker we don't think about that we think about them not giving us enough

And as for friends. I have soooo many friends and they all love to come around when they need something..

And of course when you need something you will never hear from them until your finished with what ever you needed the help with. . and of course you will hear You should have called me.. Even though the day before you needed help you saw that same person told them what you were going to be doing and you were probably need some help..

But what we forget to understand is that this life is not about Relationships or giving and taking. It's about us and who we are and who we want to be.

At the end of the day.
Is what we did to make everything work.
To show the person who we truly are.
What we sacrifice to make things work sometimes. And we do it.
Because we want to do it because that's what makes us happy. We do it because we want to show our love who. We are knowing that we're never going to get it back. But that's OK, it's what we learned from it. And what ever that might be it ok because we do it again. And again we a always feel as if we get the short end of the stick.

And that's just because. We are making it all about them when in reality is about us

Because you're trying to teach that person how to be who to be A better person

So no matter what we do.
We feel hurt search because we don't look at it in the right way.

Because it's always well. I did this for you and I never got anything in retuin

Instead of I'm gonna teach you, I'm going to show you how to make this relationship successful. We give we take we share when you come on.
And we grow from there

But when that doesn't happen when you're just a giver. And then that person says see you later
You feel hurt and used because they didn't say thank you. I appreciate one thing, but that's just who they are. We weren't meant to be and they will never change. But we have to keep doing what we do because.
That makes us happy.

At the end of the day, it's just an experience. Maybe maybe time wasted, but maybe not. It depends on what we learn because it really truly is about us.
We need to become one with Is ourselves
One with others and one with this universe

In order to get to those replaces
All of our destinies

We need to love ourselves first and then none of the above even matters because it just comes natural to give and teach that love without asking for anything to return because it is truly about us

But we do love those Experiences with love Showing it give me that feeling it Sharing it becoming it.

And when we find ourselves, we can do all the above.
And I didn't think anything about it because we did it because we wanted to that's we are.

[Finchie40]

The only way to love someone , os to love yourself first , if you don’t love yourself first , then you will not be able to feel love from someone else period. We can’t force someone to love us , all we can do is give the same way we hope to receive in return , and yes that isn’t always the case , so when you love yourself and accept yourself for who you are as a person , it’s easier for someone else to be attracted to you or drawn to you , because they love the way you present yourself as a person and they want to be a part of that with you. If you don’t love yourself , others’ will easily take advantage of of you and take you for granted , never let anyone take you for granted and take advantage over you , Someone that truly loves you is going to choose you the same way they hope you choose them , when you find that person , try to keep them by your side as much as possible because finding that person isn’t easy to come by period. No one on this planet is perfect , we are all imperfect people that come from different paths in life that experienced and witnessed different things. So if you can’t accept their flaws , don’t expect them to accept yours. From all the years I was dating and in relationships with girls’ the number one thing that ruined our relationship, was selfishness , we all have selfishness inside of ourselves, if you can’t remove selfishness for your partner , do not assume they are going to do the same for you. Love only grows between 2 people that choose each other and make each other their top priority , through the good times and the bad times , if you can’t choose them over your own selfishness , then be prepared to be single again and again. People that lie and cheat are selfish people that only care about themselves, they have no dignity or respect for anyone else but themselves. Selfish people have no right being in a relationship with anyone because they only care about themselves. So never climb a mountain for anyone that wouldn’t climb a mountain for you period. Most of us encounter bad seeds before finding a good one that wants to grow with you

[sage2021]

I just recently learned that being a nice, kind person isn't a good thing anymore. I have watched over 20 videos about this and I am truly shocked about this!!
I have always been a nice, kind and sincere person ever since I was a little girl. It's my nature and to be otherwise I would be someone who isn't me.
I have learned that when you are a kind person people view you as weak. I know.. I am shocked by this too! But it's just the way people now a days respond to kind people. They take advantage of them.
Yes, it's important to set boundaries but at what point in the relationship do we set those boundaries? After the first time that something they said or did left you with a knot in your stomach? When and what do you say to them when setting boundaries with someone who you really care about?
I don't want to be taken advantage of ever again, however, I just want to continue to be myself otherwise I will feel like I am not my true self.
I'm definitely in a quandary about this no matter how many videos teach that if you are kind, people will take advantage of me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[sage2021]

Thank you for the MHO 🙂🧁🌷

[DishLady]

So... if you're Christian you've heard the "love one another" message, the "do unto others" message and a few similar things that I know would lead you to believe that we're supposed to be on even footing with everyone in terms of love and reciprocity. However the reality of it is that we often have to just offer the love without expectation of an ROI of any kind. Offer the love up to God as a form of appreciation for one of His creatures. It's the only right thing to do. The alternative is to turn into a bitter person who shuts everyone out...

[princeofromance]

Unfortunately, people do not always love us as we love them. Love is a two-way street that should never be taken for granted.

[Chazmatazz269]

Expectation is the mother of resentment.

[SotiCoto]

For the most part I suspect that most people want to reciprocate equally... at least at first.
But the snag is that people are taught things about themselves and others that quite simply aren't true. They behave in a way they regarding loving to others, but to others it comes across completely differently. And if the others reciprocate at all, it will be in tune with how they perceive it, not how it was intended.
Basically it is communication breakdown due to differences in perception and values.

... And unfortunately someone who has been burnt by this a few times will tend to withdraw and become distrustful, which only exacerbates the problem.

[Shiprex]

This is lovely @liaraven and I can absolutely relate. It's very true that in the end unrequited love that isn't returned can keep you giving but at some point despondence and despair that eventually one can fade and become hollow as the constant giving becomes too great to carry on with.

[Grond21]

My gosh is this beautiful. I bet my fiance will cry if she reads it, because these were almost all of her relationships for years

[LiaRaven]

I don’t want her to cry
We both lucky to have each other

[Grond21]

It truly is beautiful

[LiaRaven]

🙏🏻🫶🏻

[bddddd]

IKR. In the top ten posts I have read on this site.

[Grond21]

100%

[RavVid]

Yes the adage of giving what you want to get is not accurate. Disappointing.

It is not just love though. Be generous with a person once and they'll be appreciative. Second time less appreciative. Third time they'll expect it and demand it.

[ariadneR]

I'm still getting my dad to learn this lesson.

It's hard, while it's good that he gives them the benefit of the doubt not everyone is like that. Some people want to just take advantage of you

[Renegade_Sailor]

You're a submissive people pleaser, you aren't getting what you need because you're not dating people who understand who you are and what you need in return.

Figure that out and you'll know incredible happiness and a real sense of purpose in your life.

[LiaRaven]

You know nothing 😌

[Renegade_Sailor]

And a brat

[LiaRaven]

Yes, you are 😌

[exitseven]

Relationships are awkward and messy. Having two people synchronize their respective lives is a very complex process and often times it can be an uneven process. One person invariably has the advantage.

Also, when you open your heart to other people you also grant them the ability to hurt you.

"It's nice sometimes to open up the heart a little and let some hurt come in.

It proves you're still alive."

Rod McKuen

[red-lipstick-girl]

SI am the one who understands you the best, I am the 4th child of my family, I have 3 more siblings after me, when there is a job, they want me to do it, I always wash the dishes, the day I don't wash them, they insult me. My love relationships never went well, I was either cheated on or treated poorly, I have no friends because I left them because they used me, I am still alone and maybe I am a hopeless girl.

[glennos89]

Make sure you learn to have proper boundaries in place which people cannot cross. It prevents you from getting hurt when people have different intentions then yourself

[BDRick]

I will show you the same love if you do that for me as well. Deal? Let’s date.

[LiaRaven]

Nope 🙂‍↔️

[BDRick]

Can’t say I didn’t ask

[LiaRaven]

Haha

[MinaV]

Love isn't like economics, where you feel and the feeling is returned.. I mean you can't blackmail people to not have preferences or such..

In the end, real true love will blossom without any difficulties

[BadApple69]

No two things in life are ever equal. I too give more than I get. I actually think if you give more your partner will automatically start giving less. I don’t believe there is a good answer to this situation.

[bddddd]

I understand that. If you don't, and they don't, then nobody shows love at all. Love is a game of chances. Nobody is bulletproof.

[Jeff51]

I think at 1st we think that but as we get older and more experience we get that it doesn't turn out that way.

[andreasderjuengere]

Well - it does happen that a woman feels and thinks the way you do - although ''we'' had mentioned initially that they may see something that isn't fully there.

If this is a ''mistake'' - then not only on one side only.

[audreyrogers]

I relate to this 100%, and I'm sure the reason I do this is because of an inner belief that if I keep giving more and more in the ways I would also like to be loved, I will eventually deserve those kinds of gestures, words, and acts. However, that's not how life works, unfortunately.

[SeekerOfTruth007]

One of my earliest lessons in life is realizing you should trust nobody and do as little for other people as you can get away with. They WON'T return you any favors.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Yes I learned a long time ago that people don't live by the same standards that I do