Valentines day dinner... I think not!

[Anonymous]

I think it is overrated when a man decides to take his woman out for dinner on Valentine's day. People think this day mean: Flowers, chocolate and dinner. Now do not get me wrong I love getting flowers and the chocolate is nice too but dinner, really? NO!

My dad told me when I was younger "When a man takes his Sweetheart out of dinner on Valentine's day, it is his way of showing he doesn't understand or know what to do to make her feel truly special on this day"... and except for the few woman that like being treated to a night out at a fancy place, I do not believe in anyway my dad is wrong.

On February 14th I don't want to be sitting in a fancy place surrounded by a bunch of strangers I don't know, I want to be cruising down the back roads with the country music up and maybe stopping by a fast food place to grab some food for the road, and eventually pulling over to eat, talking for hours and loosing track of time. And when it gets too late, head back to my place, build a blanket fort together over my bed, adding a few Christmas lights to make it complete, watching a movie on my laptop well we cuddle and evetually fall asleep. This is my version of a perfect night, no strangers, no destractions, just you and him until the night ends.

It is just so easy to look at someone and say "we are going out for dinner" but to plan a nice night away to give her that one night she will remember, takes time and thought. I already texted my boyfriend and told him not to take me to dinner, that if he decides to do something for me I want it to be from his heart, taking the things he knows about me and making it special. Because V-day is the one holiday of the year that's intentions to show the person you love just how much you love them.

So guys before you make plans to take her out to a fancy place, first think if there is anything else you could do for her that she will love, you can still do dinner if you want, but why end there? Just trying to add real romance to the crazy night! And give ideas on how you can make the night more special for the both of you! <3</p>

[lumos]

I understand why you feel like doing something different for Valentine's. But don't judge those who want to take the basic chocolates/flowers/dinner route. If that's what they want, then that's what they want. Sure, it might not be as creative as doing something else, like you suggested, but who gives a damn? If they're happy with their way and you're happy with your way, then I really don't get why anyone would feel the need to judge one another.
Also, keep in mind that a lot of people think that Valentine's day is a bullshit materialistic holiday (myself included) that does nothing but help companies boost their sales. These people prefer to not do ANYTHING "special" on that day, by basically treating it like any other day. I don't think you need a holiday as an excuse to treat your partner nicely. In fact, I'd much prefer it if it happened spontaneously throughout the year, instead of on some predictable "holiday". But that being said, I don't judge those who want to celebrate Valentine's day together, regardless of how they do it. In the end, the outcome should pretty much be the same - making your partner feel happy and special.
Why is doing it the "easy" way such a bad thing? Why must things always be complicated and creative and different? What, just to be "genuine" or something? Someone taking their partner out to dinner can be just as genuine as someone going on a road trip with their partner. And quite frankly, I don't think it's up to you to decide what's right or wrong, genuine or not genuine.

"Because V-day is the one holiday of the year that's intentions to show the person you love just how much you love them."

Except that people are still capable of showing their partner how much they love them every other day of the year. So just because someone decides to go the basic route, it doesn't mean that they don't do more creative things on other days. What a couple does on v-day doesn't determine how strong/loving they are, as a couple. Seriously.

[soneoak]

Lol, I think if you were to read your take again, you'd feel it's a little loaded with an air of "ME! ME! ME!".

Probably unintentional, but a valid point none-the-less.

Not every guys is as clued into thinking about things. Not every guy knows enough about you to figure something you might REALLY enjoy. Not every guy has the resource to do such things either.

Should we look down on them?

So are you some super awesome princess that knows how to be a keeper? Do you do the right things to make your relationship awesome for you guy as well without being hinted or told what to do?

Are you one of those girls that buys toy guns and play surprise games with your boyfriend? Or something else as creative?

If yes, well you're pretty awesome/lucky. If not, ahemz?

Awesome guys go with awesome girls, that is their value and principle in life, they aren't about "ME!". They are about "US!".

If the guy doesn't see things this way, then you have to weigh your options to see if you can find that awesome guy.

Leave this guy for another girl whose requirements are different. Maybe that girl prefers dinners, romantic holidays, time alone talking about sweet nothings, less adventure = better.

Maybe he's the type who would go with a girl who likes to write books, stories, novels.

Maybe he's the type who would go with a girl who likes to sing or hum tunes or make random musical sounds.

Maybe he's the type who does ad-lib story acting and she's great with him as they play with random everyday objects using their imagination to turn them into monsters and heros.

Maybe he's the type that just prefers to sit around, cuddle, and have a deep conversation about love, and life, and spirit, and soul, and that's exactly what she wants.

Each person want different things. It's good to know what you want, and also good to know that 'different' doesn't mean 'lousy' or 'better.

It just means different.

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

Very well said :)

[myTake Owner]

I am sorry but it is called MY TAKE for a reason... you don't like it there's a back button for a reason :)

[soneoak]

It's called a 'mytake' because that is what 'best' describes the function of this post, and people have opinions on this matter, duh. It has nothing to do with personal acclaim and internet territorial disputes.

If you wanted to just blog whatever you want, go do it on a blog site and don't come here. This is an avenue for exchange of opinions afterall, not your grounds to farm for attention and approval. It belongs to US, not you alone.

[loveisbeautiful]

I'm not into Valentine's day, I think the whole "it's the one day of the year you show the one how much you love them", scenario. Is just wrong. That being said, for the people that do like this day, I don't think there's anything wrong with going to dinner. Chances are that it's what she wanted and he was just doing what he remembered she said she wanted. Everybody has their own idea of what romance is, it's just a matter of respecting that persons point of view. So, if going out to dinner isn't your thing, that's fine. But, it's not right to act like people who do go out to dinner on Valentine's day, are taking the easy way out. Because, most Valentine dinners are at fancy places where you need reservations like 3 months in advance and there's champagne, you get dressed up in your best dress/ suit and you have a good meal. So, a lot of thought in preparation goes into that. So, not as easy as one would think.
Besides, if Valentine's day is truly about love. Shouldn't it be the thought that counts?

[Anonymous]

I am going to have to disagree. You can't hold yourself as the standard, to what other women are like. Women aren't the same, and don't all want the same things. Depending on the woman, that can mean going out to dinner, spending a lot of money on her, being creative, or she may even find it all very annoying. A lot of women expect to go out for dinner, so a guy doing so, doesn't automatically mean he doesn't understand.

Not all women are interested in creative acts of romance, and some actually prefer or even expect the more traditional non creative ideas. Some women I know would be pissed if he even got her favorite type of flowers, instead of red roses on Valentine's day. Instead they woman may think he was just trying to be cheap, because roses tend to be more expensive around that time.

It is nearly impossible to actually be romantic when the woman is expecting a, b, and c. If you instead offer her a, b, d, and e, without c a lot of women will make the guy feel miserable. If he makes the mistake of offering her a, b, c, d, and e, then she ends up getting spoiled.

This is why even really romantic guys tend to hate Valentine's day. We don't have nearly as much freedom to express our romantic side as women think we do, when certain things are being expected from us. It is a lot easier to find fault in the other person, when they are the only one expected to make an effort.

[godfatherfan]

Valentine's day is a BULLSHIT made up holiday. It was created by the greeting card company and the flower people and etc..
I cannot stand that day. Aside from it being a completely bogus day that only women give a shit about... I have had personal tragedies on that day that just add to the problem. my grandfather died on that day, I had a cousin shot and almost killed on that day, and I went into the military on that day. So those also add to the fact I hate it.
.
But regardless of personal reasons, take all those "made up bullshit holidays" and throw them away. how about showing your partner what they mean to you on a daily basis? and not having to be told you have to do it on a certain day. how about women not being such gold diggers that they need extra shit on some made up day. Be happy your with someone...

[code3]

Actually, Valentine's Day is a celebration of a man known as Saint Valentine. If I remember right, he married couples together in a time and place where marriage was prohibited for men destined to go to war. It was believed that attachment would hinder their fighting capability. I believe he was executed for his actions.

[godfatherfan]

Maybe it was that once... just like those that are catholic once celebrated Christmas once... now they are just bullshit excuses to feel entitled to gifts and special treatment.

[Anonymous]

Fair enough that you have your opinion. I personally wouldn't tell my boyfriend what I do and do not want on Valentine's Day. I would just be happy even with a card from him. He isn't the romantic type and not every guy is. Either way I would just be happy spending the day with him, I don't expect anything and I don't think you should either. It sounds like you expect your boyfriend to come up with some amazing creative idea, why can't you just be happy with whatever he comes up with, even if it's just dinner?

Your boyfriend might feel pressured and might worry that whatever he comes up with might not be good enough. Just be happy that you have someone to spend it with.

[Hypathia_0]

Wow this is interesting

[xobrowneyedbeauty]

I mean, I think when you have a busy life (demanding jobs, school, distance, what have you) that this one day a year can be a nice night and it can be important to make it special, even though some people are hellbent on not celebrating Valentine's at all. And a nice dinner can be special too. I would definitely not object to being taken for a nice fancy dinner, or even just a restaurant we both like - I don't know what makes eating fast food while driving on the road and then building a blanket fort more romantic or intimate than a nice dinner just the two of you and relaxing afterwards. It's all just preference. You just don't happen to prefer going out to dinner.

[kittycat23]

I didn't read the whole thing, but I actually would rather be taken out for dinner, over sitting and watching my boyfriend play a game on his phone or pc for hours, or watch my boyfriend watch YouTube videos. That's what he does most of the time with me, sometimes will play a game with me, but this happens every single Saturday... so being brought out for dinner would make me happy. Although if he does it this year, it will be because I bought him a giftcard for a restaurant for Christmas... he's still a teenager, he doesn't make money, except in the summer... maybe if I had a guy that was older than me, I might be a bit more picky.

[Pandas111317]

I really enjoyed your take on the whole holiday... as THE hallmark holiday descends on us I find de stain for the whole process. Some years I put more effort into the day then others... scavenger hunt with supprise dinner was a classic. 7 dozen roses delivered at different times of a day was another. Awesome heartfelt orginal poetry always brought a tear. But my favorite is always sitting in front of a fire enjoing the closeness with the woman I love.

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

I find the whole idea of a scheduled annual romantic event very lacking in any type of romance.

Your boyfriend isn't your dad (at least I hope not!) so cut him some slack. If he takes you out for dinner it's because he is trying to be lovely. Don't piss on his bonfire by telling him how lame his attempt is.

[girlandhermusic]

exactly. take the kindness as it comes. But I personally don't particularly care for Valentine's day.

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

Actually, YOU should be the one planning it if it's that important to you. Why is it the man's responsibility to sort out Valentine's day? It's mainly for women so why would they bother? Not like they get a special day to get spoilt and pampered.

[Stacyzee]

Realistically even your birthday is one day a year.
But it's celebrated.
So is Thanksgiving, Christmas, 4th of July (etc.) I could go on and on.
Yes, the whole thought of Valetines day may seem cliche.
A man should show his love all year around 24/7.
But often times as human beings we get so caught up in our every day struggles/battles that we need to remind ourselves of those that truly care about us.
So why not do the Dinner? or give the gifts?
Every ones perspection is very different.

[snowboarder720]

I don't like to make V-day much of a big deal. Sure I'd like to take her out to dinner, then bowl/pool, and go to a bar.
Everybody has their own opinion, but I wouldn't mind making things simple. Even cooking dinner at my own place would be good enough for me. Building a blanket fort? haha last time I did that was when I was 10 and then I grew out of it.
I like to keep it simple and non complicated.

[Hypathia_0]

Is it just a disappointment because you were previously conditioned because of your dad's point of view, or is it just what you kind of sense, that the guy is trying to just 'seal the deal' so he's off responsibility? The two are importantly different in fact:)

[Poppykate]

Actually if you want to take your love one somewhere special, try a week or two after Valentine's Day. Most restaurants at that time are quiet ( which is great for a romantic setting) and often have specials.

Interesting fact- Valentine's Day is a religious holiday named after Saint valentine who married Christian couples in secret during the pagan times.

[Anonymous]

I'm taking my GF out for dinner, and I couldn't care less what others think about it.

Neither of us want any gifts from each other, we just want a nice, cosy, romantic day with just the two of us...

[COCOCHANEL]

never had a Valentine's day like that cuz western guys haven't attracted me since i
was 11 and western culture in general didn't do it for me so yeah i give chocolate to my sweetheart (s) just like every other female

[COCOCHANEL]

oh ! some people got upset !

[albundyfan]

White day!!

[COCOCHANEL]

yeah... unfortunately i've never received

[Hilgortheboatsinker]

Sorry but you're extremely naive. The dinner is just as much for him as it is for you. Holy shit you have a primitive approach to romance.

[grahamcracka]

if that's you opinion, cool. just don't judge others if they're happy doing what makes them happy

[JackKerouac77]

If you're not creative in life... you're a cliche. Which is so boring. Don't be a cliche.

[TadCurious]

Building a blanket fort sounds like fun. lol

[Anonymous]

This is what YOU want

[YourFutureEx]

Moral of the story: Think different.