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Nice guys don't finish last (Page 3)
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This video explains it.
The same can be said of males. They always chase after what they consider beautiful and ignore the "other" women. Then they are unhappy when those women reject them. Get to know the "other" women maybe you will actually have something in common and stop chasing the women that make your penis hard. When men get older they sometimes realize looks arnt everything and they actually try and get to know a woman and see past her looks.
I typically don't get angry. Tho video did the trick. I could go to an hour, but ill keep I brief.
1.) Your laundry list is bullshit, no "nice guy" does those things. And fucking a dog, really?
2.) If you live in a basement as a grown man, and only know dungeons and dragons its possible your a nice guy underneath, but what you project is LOSER. No one wants a loser.
3.) It ain't a fuckin crutch. It's barely fuckin used. I've never used it in my life, and my friend who was recently turned down for Valentine's Day, after going all out romantic, never mentioned I once. And he's a better guy than me.
4.) Do you want an ugly man? Then don't expect me to want ugly women. When I find the person im supposed to be with, looks won't matter. Putting that aside, I used to be fuck ugly. I changed, I worked out, cut my hair, dressed different, worked on facial expressions, the whole nine yards. Allow me to quote will smith, "You can adapt."
RSVP for elaboration. Tell the girl in video with the commen
First things first. There are SO FEW nice-ladies (calculated ones, mean ones, egocentric ones, aggressive types, serial-possessive-hunters etc etc etc, pile up a pityfull "majority"), that the discussion for us, 'nice guys' in this context, is not even starting... Talloac suggests : " I also advice that girls who are tired of jerks should take the quiet and genuine guys a lot more seriously even if they are less attractive or charming." , nice theory, when considering the "ladies" themselves are patented jerks, in majority.
www.nicknotas.com/.../
From the time I discovered the above list (a revised version of another popular list), I have found no better guide for differentiating what women are and are not attracted to.
The man women are attracted to will be genuinely kind, but that's only a small part of his character. He will also be self-confident, have integrity about his morals, be unashamed of and unapologetic about his points of view, and resistant to criticism. In essence, calling him a "nice guy" is really a misnomer. The "real man" is a better term.
My philosophy is, its better to be a good guy, than a nice guy. I am sorry to say, nice guys do come last in every which way look at in life. Most people these day are just out for themselves, will take advantage of you, if your soft.
I was very nice guy for many years, you know what, it got me nowhere. Girls and guys abused my kindness. That does not that mean I bitter person for it, no. I have just changed myself. I am not that nice any-more, but what I am is fair to people.
Being to nice in today's society, is a sign of weakness. Do I think girls like bad boys, NO. What I think a girl wants in a man, that he is a good man, there is a big difference between a nice and good.
I want to touch on what you said about the girls that go after jerks. Regardless of how young they are, the girls that have a very low self esteem and and issues like co dependency (see wiki definition https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency) and are screw ups, are the ones that end up with the kind of guys that treat them like shit, because they don’t think that they deserve any better. It’s not because they are young and want to have fun. Any women that respects herself won’t tolerate a guy that isn’t going to treat her right regardless of how “fun” or “exciting” he may be. It’s like you said there are genuine nice guys that know how to have a good time. I have learned to take pity on these women and ask why they choose a partner that has no redeeming qualities and treats them badly
Everyone should be nice to each other. I think what you should be saying is women like strong (wether it be strong minded or physically) men and not pussies. You have to be able to stand up for yourself or your girl if need be, And women should try do the same for men. A lot of times when a man try protect a girl from either getting ripped off, or abused or anything like that. The man can put himself in a bad spot because some girls might assume he's going too far. So If you a badass the let her know! who knows it might be instant love. Or if you wouldn't harm a fly Who knows she might still be upset about a lizard she stepped on as a kid.
people just need to talk, this discussion is really kinda irrelevant if people socialised more before they fuckkkkkk
I am not writing a take on an ideal boyfriend. It's simply my opinion on one of the qualities of the guys that are being considered in a negative light now.
And yes, it's all about connection. We are so different from each other that I might like a guy who the other girl totally despise.
yeH but when you sai stuff like we want someone to do cute stuff not go out with their friends and do drugs, you seem very much like you are looking for an ideal man. Also the fact I never said anything like that makes it more obvious you had a boyfriend that was a douche bag. At my age its trying to find a girl who doesn't wanna go do drugs and stays home. you will see over time that people's ways are what makes us people. If we were all the same we would be so fucking boring it would drive me crazy!!
Sometimes guys can adjust their time and spend quality time with their girlfriends as well. It makes us feel good and not neg for their attention like we have to do in case of a bad boy.
And no, I have never dated anyone. Guys around me are more like douche or stupid.
If women stopped trying to control men with their minds and started using their mouths, Im sure us men would try our best to do what we can to make a girl happy. If a man isn't like that, then he ain't worth messing with
that was a joke by the way :P
Also, sometimes guys like it when girls want to spend quality time with them. Its sad that women don't understand that not all men picture themselves EVER having a picnic or a candle lit dinner with a girl they are dating. Some girls wanna cuddle all night while all a man is thinking is Backflips on a motorbike and fishing.. Some really want to be romantic but don't know if the girl will freak out and ask for all her friends opinions if she should run away... What a lot of guys are saying that posts like this just give false hope to guys who are already troubled. No guy is sitting there right now going "fuck i wish i wasn't so nice" its more about confidence and social skills. nice guys are generally too scared to tell the girl of his dreams that she looks nice today. Its up to women to learn to see through fake asshole and start paying more attention to the nice guys. Being a nice guy is fucking hard!
You can't just divide it up into two categories like that. Back in high school I was a combination of the two. I was all the characteristics of the "real nice guy" except that I didn't know how to flirt with girls, so I never really expressed interest. In that aspect I was like the "fake nice guy" but I was just lonely and all I wanted was a girlfriend, I couldn't have cared less about sex.
I know you're trying to break down an inaccurate stereotype, but you're just creating new ones. Just because a guy is nice to you, but doesn't make a move doesn't mean he is a clingy jerk who just wants to have sex with you and will talk shit if you reject him.
I understand it. But no matter how shy you are, your talks and the time you spend with us are used for estimation of your interest. It does not always have to be direct confession. I am really really shy but if I dare to spend time with a guy a lot, it will show some slight interest. Moreover we girls can have slight intution when a guy likes us. My point was not a nice guy won't hide his feelings. but unlike the fake ones, he won't just 'hope' that you will notice his feelings as he offered his shoulder to cry onn when a guy breaks up with you.
I don't mean to come off as antagonistic but that seem quite contradictory and hypocritical. You're saying spending time with someone is an indication of interest which is what you do because you're shy, but then you call a guy fake if he does that exact same thing and hope that the girl notices his feelings?
hmm... both of them might spend time with a girl but the quality of the talks matter, right? Moreover, emotional, physical and mental connection sometimes take time to develop. Now there are some guys who would talk a lot and instead of letting us talk about other guys they would flirt with us or they would most probably turn around the convo into something else if they are shy. Niw there are other guys who would spend equal time but when we are talking about other guys, they might be jealous but would try to be supportive and comfort her guy situations. No. A guy has to maintain a line And must know that he should be there for her during break up but instead of letting her cry, grab her hand and take her out and have fun.
Alright, clearly that's what a guy -should- do if he wants to get somewhere with the girl, but that's not the point I'm trying to make. My issue is with you labeling these types of guys as "fake nice." Just because a guy's natural instinct is to comfort a girl and be her shoulder to cry on instead of making a move and doing something with her doesn't make him a "fake nice guy." When someone is crying, comforting them like that is a natural reaction and a nice thing to do. Sure, it's probably not going to make her more attracted to him like he would like, but if that's what he's doing, he probably isn't even aware of that. Some guys are just nice and clueless, but there's nothing disingenuous about their actions.
I hope this could be true. Though I agree with you it's hard to believe that you are one of them after being rejected. I know why it happened and all that, but it's still hard to believe that you were a nice guy to your crush. True I can say I have all those characters that describes a nice guy, but still you always feel that you miss something. :'(
It's sad that sometimes you will let those chances go where a nice guy that could try his best to comfort and make you happy go just because you are afraid you will get hurt again or that you don't know this guy too well. :')
Things take time. Almost all the bad boys I know have dumped their gf. Then those girls habe the guts to go to a nice guy and cry over his shoulder. Seriously no! Better stick to your girl friends for such support.
Whether they finish last isn't the problem but the idea that they have to be jerk is and nice, growing up you learn being nice is expected but what else do you have to separate you from the pack?
I gave up being who I was after I graduated high school, clearly something wasn't working so a different environment wit the same person would yield same results.
I started to go to the gym, dress more fashionable, and figure out of to improve myself. Instead of only wishing I was doing something, I never felt more confident and at peace with myself
Going to gym, being fashionable etc. Etc. Are good qualities. Why di people think that a nice guy us always unattractive one? Making positive life changes is cool.
A lot of nice guys are seen as doormats with ugly faces.
There the other belief that people carried that people would like them for who they are :/ really messed me up during high school
@allwomenlie, they are and that something I had to realize before I changed, was a door mat :/
Women don't like nice guys because they're boring, subservient men that all they know how to do is put women on pedestals, which they grow bored of very quickly. If they had any actually appealing qualities they'd have been dating during their younger years like everyone else instead of pulling some ex-hoe at the end of her reproductive lifetime that wants to just settle down and have kids because she rode the cock-carousel all through her 20's and now the timebomb on her ovaries is about to go off.
Basically, what OP describes in the first paragraph is what used to be described as a Gentleman, now its just 'nice guy' which feels like a demotion from my perspective.
Thanks for writing this article. I've known and dated a number of genuine Nice Guys and I tend to find they were nearly at breaking point when we got together and were very glad to find their doubts chased away. Guys, nice, doesn't mean perfect or irresistible, it means considerate. That's all. Girls *LOVE* considerate guys, ones that won't dominate everything or run away from everything, but strive to have a *partnership* and share their lives together in a considerate way. You can be sporty, immature, quiet, creative, intellectual, loud, manly or whatever, it's not about changing you but including her and not just coz you think you 'have to' or 'should'. It's a process, a lifetime thing. I just want to say, don't give up, because you are the most important thing to the world today and you don't know just when she'll turn up.
Is it too much to ask to want an equal?
@AlwaysBelieving No, but not everyone is aware they could be, especially females. They almost always feel inadequate which is why they do tend to go out with 'jerks' or 'settle'... or fall for James Bond every time. Damn it Bond :p A girl will respond to what you believe she is. I'm sure your first instinct will be to call her beautiful but to a girl, beautiful is a flexible standard only achievable with the right products. But "you look really nice today" or a "you're a really beautiful person" can work wonders. But we do have a soft spot for nice guys. Which I guess is part of the reason Markiplier, Matthias, Jacksepticeye and MatPat have gotten so many more subscribers this year ;p but anyway, everyone is always changing and learning, a girl who's your equal might not come easy, but will respond when you treat her like an equal while still being yourself.
A few questions... Can I send them to you via PM?
I wish I believed you. But I don't.
@AlwaysBelieving yeah I guess
So many things I couldn't help but agree, this one line in particular;
"The biggest myth is a nice guy can't be a party lover or good looking. It's bullshit."
For the longest time I actually hated the term "Nice guy" bc to me it seemed to be attached to some definition that shows we don't like to go out and do half the stuff guys like to do, which is bullshit. Just bc I'm a nice guy and am very loyal (especially to a girl I care about) doesn't mean I can't go out and party nee in a while, go out and have fun. It just means I respect you more then some asshole who would take advantage of a drunk girl (those guys piss me off the most).
Yes, I know a guy who is just like you, so the definition that we generally found about 'nice guy' on internet is bullshit!
You can be a nice guy and still have backbone!!! I think that is often misunderstood. You can't let yourself be used. And when you are in a relationship you don't have to put your partner's needs first all the time. If something doesn't feel right... Get her to talk. You matter too don't be blind to signs of cheating or signs she just doesn't care anymore. You need to feel loved. You need physical and emotional connections. And if that is lacking and she won't talk or work on it or get help from a professional make an ultimatum. You deserve to have intimacy and love and connection. Don't sacrifice your happiness and real needs for someone that doesn't seem to care. My nice guy tip.
I was friends with this guy for one or more years.. Every other day during our study groups, his fiancé would call him and argue and cry for an hour. He said that she felt like not getting married so soon. He would see her everyday sometimes numerous hours. But he would say how much he missed her even though they see each other every day. He admitted on numerous occasions that he is practically excommunicated from the home school group because of his drama. He is a self confessed ex player. He is also a liar and a social bully. He also is obsessed with Hitler and is creating a complete Nazi uniform. He also intentionally swindled me out of money. He calls himself pussy wiped all the time. But I am sure his wife thinks that he is the nicest religious man in the world.
He also wasn't upfront with his feelings. He spent years going to her to talk about his problem. And they inadvertently started dating.
I think that everyone's idea of what "Nice guy" means is different. I don't think that cliché really applies to anyone honestly. And No, I don't think "Nice" guys finish last. I do think that a lot of the time they go for the wrong type of girl. I would consider my husband to be a "Nice" guy but, did he finish last? Hardly. We are both extremely happy with one another despite what others opinions of us are. Often times I think the term "Nice guy" is the wrong choice of words. I believe that the term we should be using is "Genuine" we want someone who is Genuine because someone can be "Nice" without being "Genuine".
I think it really depends, i've been the stupid guy, the fake nice guy, the real nice guy, the more I understood about love and who I wanted to be the closer I got to being a true nice guy. I believe anyone can go down that road. Now the thing is I agree, I don't think nice guys always finish last, but they do get hurt and used a lot more than the other types of people. This is true of both nice guys and girls, often people take advantage of their kind nature and they don't care if they hurt them. I know thats not always the case but it does happen. One more thing, I am referring to life in general and how those who are nice are treated each step of the way.
To all the guys in the comments who claim they are 'real nice guys':
Both real nice guys and fake nice guys will both obviously claim to be real nice guys. So I don't know who you're expecting to take your word for it that you're a 'real' nice guy. Just cause you say so doesn't make it true. In fact you might not even be lying on purpose, you just don't realize that you're not the 'real' nice guy. The only way you can prove it to a girl, and possibly to yourself, is by letting her get to know you.
But tl;dr, I don't buy any of the comments that state they are nice guys, nor do I think they are exactly lying. Just saying.
Nice guys absolutely finish last.
Girls don't want "nice guys". They want strong assertive confident men who say what they mean and don't give a shit.
Assholes usually possess a key trait - confidence. Work on becoming the most confident person you can. Even if you aren't confident in a situation, fake it.
DONT be yourself. It is terrible advice. The Dating world is filled with people doing the dance. Everyone puts up their best front. Men need to do this as well.
If you meet a girl who doesn't put up a front, thats a good sign.
Pro-tip: Don't ask for a phone, number demand it. If she says no, move on immediately. Don't waste your time. It's valuable.
lol, guys like u need to extinct
The term nice guy finish last was back when it was a topic of the goody goody nice guy and the sexy bad boy.
Now it's usage refers to a series of guys. Genuine guys with low confidence who are considered "nice" when described by girls who speak of them. Like there's nothing exciting about him that makes her think about him sexually.
Then there are genuine guys who do have confidence and go after what they want. The thing is... they aren't labeled as nice guys. They're labeled as go getters or even a bit of a bad boy because they know how to turn a girl on. Because doing so is "bad".
Then there is the fake nice guy. Successful or not, they pretend so they can get in the girls pants. Successful ones keep on chugging while the unsuccessful ones just complain with the, "I'm a nice guy!" remark.
The topic is broader than your article goes over and really missed the point.
Quick list:
Real Nice Guys:
Low confidence- not viewed as a sexual being by women.
Confident/high self esteem- girls are turned on by him but never describe him as "nice". He is who he is and nothing more.
Fake Nice Guys:
Low confidence- complains about not getting girls and "doesn't understand because he's a "nice guy"".
Confident/high self-esteem- essentially a player.
I for one, think this guy has a very good point, and everything he says to be real, any of you guys out there, read this post carefully and take it into mind, and think for your self.
Well being nice is definitely a good quality and yes even women like nice guys, but then just being 100% a nice guy is also useless because being only a nice guy they will come off to women as boring, and mentally weak to women, so of course a guy should be a nice guy but along with being nice they guy has to make some modifications in his character then it will be a very good combination and will come off as attractive to women.
If a guy is only 100% nice, I mean real nice then women will like them, will be friends but would not want them in their life as a lover, boyfriend or as a husband. Hence in the long run it's not going to be good for nice guys. Hence being 100% nice is useless.
Of course you may disagree with this one, but this is my opinion.
This reminds me of hana yori dango or bous over flowers. The main message or love story is about a bad boy or mean jerk who falls in love with a nice girl and becomes nicer especially around her. I wouldn't label or judge anyone too much. I am just going to say, I believe that people can change. I have hope in everyone that I meet. I give everyone the benefits of the forgive them they know not what they do, unless they really truly knew what they are doing but honestly I think only God really knows what he is doing.