My boyfriend and I had a fight and now he won't answer my calls or texts. I need some advice?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend told me this weekend that he loved me, he would do anything for me, and that all I had to do was be his baby. We made our relationship official then. He said he could see us together years from now. But he also blurted out that he was still seeing another girl and it upset me and I asked him if he was going to stop talking to her and he said he would talk to her but seemed hesitant. I asked him yesterday if he did and he didn't yet. He told me I mean more and she's not worth lossing me but I don't understand why he's being so difficult. I got angry at him and we fought. He made it seem like I was wrong for not wanting to date someone who is dating someone else. He said he guessing it all comes down to whether or not he wants a relationship. I told him if he doesn't want a relationship than I don't see where we could go from here. He said he's not making any decisions in the next two seconds and would call me later and I said okay. He didn't call me and won't answer my texts. I sent him 1 text and called him a couple times before I went to bed and he didn't answer. He's never ignored my calls like this and blown me off before. I'm afraid we are just not going to talk anymore and it's over. Why would he tell me he loves me and all that then? I'm not going to call him anymore or text him. But I'm not sure what's going to happen and I don't want to lose him. I love him too. Any advice would be well appreciated

[cluelesswriter]

He doesn't love you. He might have claimed so through words, but not through actions. It isn't fair on you. He could've merely said what you wanted to here, as an attempt to keep you around so he could figure out who to choose. To me, it seems as if he's having a difficult time trying to decide which one to choose, and darling you deserve so much more than to be someone's second choice. You're being a second choice just by the fact that he hasn't made up his mind and talked with the other woman.

You said that you don't want to lose him, but I'm afraid that you've never had him. And even if you did, he isn't worth it. It may sound like a cliche, but you truly deserve better. Perhaps your fears will come true, and the both of you will grow cold and apart. But through the detail you've provided, I think that's the best for you.

He said that 'he would do anything for you' yet he isn't willing to terminate a relationship with someone else. And don't you dare for a second think that he means his words, because he clearly doesn't. If he did, he would've fixed things. Dear, this relationship is one sided: you're the only one giving, and he's the only one getting. It isn't balanced and it isn't healthy.

[islands7]

I guess NO ONE likes to be bossed around so will AVOID bosses as long as possible.
If he's forced to make a decision that's not ALL his, he will regret it and the boss forcing it.

True he made a commitment and did not follow through = smells like BS
but yours is not to climb up on that commitment horse as if now the general of him & make orders to follow
he'll regret making other love/commitment statements that create such a power horse

Fact is... a guy that has two gals finds himself baffled as to which to choose, as BOTH are lacking something to complete the package and be The One. As he holds on to both, hoping one or the other will find that missing piece and plug it in, the trio begins to slowly sink under its own weight - your fight is an example of a blowout in that lifesaver the trio hangs onto, for lack of a better plan.

Your role is to simply step back (not forward as commander) until his actions parallel his love remarks, THEN you will act loving in return - not before.

[Asker]

I never boss him around or tell him what to do. I just make sure to tell him how I feel. I just felt like he was making it way to difficult just to break it off and that upset me. It should have been easy if he meant anything he said to me

[islands7]

Your feeling became SO strong, it reads like to me & feels like to him like bossing
+ more about you instead of about him
True that love is supposed to be about the other person more than self and he's dragging his feet BUT your demands lit the fuse to this fight and seems more about you.

Love: think this - you want him to make the best decision about GFs b/c THEN he'll not stray and complicate GF life thereafter with no doubts, reservations, regrets. Hopefully this choice will be you but if not, you've saved yourself more pain in future

Now go look in the mirror and make those demands again to see what it feels like

[truthbeknown]

This is way easier than you think. He is not truly into you 100%, never will be either. Yes, he is one of those guys that thinks it is ok to have another woman floating around. NO! It is not ok!!! If he truly is into 100%, then IT IS A 2 SECOND ANSWER!!! Since he is hesitant on a decision, he still has feelings for this other woman which further confirms he is not fully into you.