Boyfriend hasn’t answered my text for 4 hours he used to text me every hour or so and he doesn’t even work what should I do?

[Anonymous]

we’re on vacation right now and even when we were both studying for our classes he would text me every hour or two. Now I think he’s distancing himself from me since he doesn’t work and we’re on vacation and I don’t know what to do I haven’t texted him again after those 4 hours. I’m thinking of either 1. Replying to him even later than he replies to me (reply to him back at night time maybe) 2. Tell him that it bothers me/ makes me worry that he takes so long to answer 3. Call him if he doesn’t answer back in 6 hours. I feel very upset at him (although I don’t say anything ) because he did this to me on Sunday too and claimed that he couldn’t use his phone because he was streaming football for him and his and when I told him that football doesn’t take that long he told me that he also took an hour nap. In this relationship he has always been my number one priority which is what upsets me/ makes me feel bad. My ex also did the same to me and he wasn’t interested in me. I honestly doubt that this man is even doing anything.

Updates

+1 y

He just answered me after almost 5 hours I’m a bit upset right now though I don’t want to answer him he made me worry too much and cry and I saw the message he didn’t even give me a reason on why he took so long to answer me

Updates

+1 y

The thing is I would’ve been okay if he offered me an explanation on why he took so long to answer me even though he doesn’t work and is on vacation but he didn’t even give me an explanation or say that he’s sorry or anything.

[Elsa143]

He doesn't deserve you. He's not even thinking half of how much you're thinking about him.
This is my experience. If your current partner has similar patterns like your ex then the chances are they both are same.
Just wait for few more days and see if he becomes more distant then break it up with him. Sweetie it will pain at first but you will have to slowly loose feelings for him by observing how he didn't bothered to give you any explanation.

[Asker]

He just started doing this to me he still says I love you a lot and everything but he takes like 4 hours to respond he does this once a day and he wasn’t like that he doesn’t work and we’re on vacay even on his busy days he used to text me every hour or two he would apologize for replying at 3 hours but now he didn’t even apologize or say he was doing anything. my guy friend told me to be petty to leave him on read until 2pm tomorrow and when he comes to ignore him and not make him any food so I’m planning to leave him on read for a while

[Elsa143]

Yes give him the taste of his own medicine. That's a red flag if he didn't texted you for 4 hours especially when he is FREE..

[Asker]

He didn’t use to do that.

[Asker]

My guy friend is right he is getting wayyy to comfortable in this relationship and I’ve always been sweet but not this time I’m going to be ignoring his messages

[Elsa143]

Yes girl I read everything that you've written and that's why I'm telling that it's not good. But give him last chance. If he continues to be more detached then leave him.

[Asker]

Did you know that he even promised me and God that he’ll marry me someday?

[Elsa143]

My 2 toxic exes made the same promise. Because they wanted to win my trust to have sex with me. I didn't give them anything. These toxic guys wants to marry girls like you because they want a submissive sweet girl who will be fooled with their lies and they can have affairs behind her back. Marriage doesn't always means love. They want a good obedient girl who won't question them and want a hot girl as a mistress who will satisfy his wildest desires.

[Asker]

But he’s always been sweet to me and I’m the one that initiated sex not him

[Asker]

But yeah this makes me upset

[Elsa143]

Okay then wait and give him a last chance. Main thing is that he shouldn't be getting more detached.

[Asker]

I’m not thinking about breaking up with him but I’m just going to ignore his texts either until night time or 2pm tomorrow like my friend said even though we’re supposed to meet tomorrow.

[Elsa143]

Cool

[Asker]

He told me that he was taking a nap and he didn’t mean for it to be that long and that he doesn’t use his phone that much. Then he wrote long paragraphs on how he loves me and stuff

[Elsa143]

Okay that's nice.

[yucychan]

What is it with girls nowadays?
How come so many of them wants their bfs to reply back every hour, every min, every sec?
Maybe it's me. But I have a life.
I am my number one priority.
If I am busy with work and family and life in general, I will reply back in a few days.

[Asker]

I was just worried because my ex used to do the same thing. But if he was busy I understand

[yucychan]

I'm the type of people who like space and freedom a lot. So, if my boyfriend texts me a question, I would probably reply back a few hours later or even the next day. Or maybe even days after, I would just forget about it. Doesn't mean I love him any less. It's just me. I'm just not that type of person who places a priority over text msgs and calls.

However, if this is bothering you so much, then let your boyfriend know. Don't nag at him to reply back to your calls or msgs immediately., just let him know how you appreciate him making even a simple reply.

[gerardroger]

1. If you need to be constantly re-assured then there is a problem - maybe with the expectation
2. If he has treated you with utmost importance in the past but now there is now he is this totally different person - its not cool on his part and it must be hitting you hard
3. Dont give anyone so much power over yourself. Take control, have your own fun - there are no guarantees in life anyway

[Asker]

I was just overthinking he said he took a nap

[Iron_Man]

I think you’re being way way too paranoid and it’s only been four hours and anything could have come up but he did reach out to you anyway. You guys aren’t joined at the hip remember that even if you were married

[Asker]

Yeah I was overthinking because of my past I had an ex that did the same thing and was ge been interested in me or loyal but I know that he’s not like that

[Iron_Man]

Awesome

[DavidFox]

The expectation of him texting every 4 hours is unreasonable. Why must he do this? Certainly he can’t have news every 4 hours to share.

[Asker]

It wasn’t every four hours just one time

[DavidFox]

Gotcha. What were you worried about? You said you cried, what was your worst fear?

[Asker]

My ex used to do the same to me so I see it as an indication of a lack of interest. And I just half swiped on his message he didn’t even offer me a clear explanation why he took 4 hours nearly 5 to message me back

[Asker]

He just acted like nothing happend

[DavidFox]

So your fear is he lost interest like your ex. How long have you been dating?

[Asker]

8 months and he even promised to marry me someday

[Asker]

He’s all I look forward to and I’m upset because when he used to do this he at least would give me an explanation why I think I deserve an explanation on why he took so long to answer me when he’s probably not even doing anything

[Asker]

I just want to leave him on read or something I’m upset he made me worry a lot and I have relationship anxiety

[DavidFox]

Yes thank you for admitting you have anxiety. Knowing you have that and it’s unhealthy, what’s your plan to fix it?

[Asker]

I tried to exercise today and go for a run for 30 minutes.

[Asker]

Is it normal that I’m upset? I don’t think this is fair I treat him as my first priority always and I feel like he is falling out of love with me or slowly getting tired of me

[Asker]

His texts are the only texts I look forward to getting and besides him no one else really texts me I live a pretty lonely life he’s all I have.

[Asker]

Out of the options that I put in my description what should I do? Because I feel upset and a little hurt

[DavidFox]

No, this is not normal. You focusing all your energy on him isn’t healthy or normal.

[Asker]

But you don’t understand that he didn’t used to do this? Which is why I’m scared.

[DavidFox]

He doesn’t feel the need to apologize because he’s just taking the time to mentally have a break from life.

[bklynbadboy1]

I hope he's not distancing himself from you but if he is there is nothing you can do. Why did he take so long to respond he's really looking suspect especially since your out of school and he's not working

[Asker]

I don’t know he didn’t even give me an explanation as to why

[Asker]

He just said that he was thinking about me and how was my day

[Asker]

My guy friend told me to leave him on read and not to answer his messages until 2pm tomorrow, to not make him any food when he comes, and that he’s getting wayy too comfortable in the relationship

[Jjpayne]

I'd wait the day and see if he responds back by the end of the day...

[Asker]

He responded back quickly after that.

[Jjpayne]

Good to hear 👍😊

[pleasestopthis]

Please give him some space to breathe girl, he certainly has a life too! 4 hours is no big deal

[Asker]

You don’t understand he doesn’t even work and we’re on vacation. If he didn't answer me for so long it’s because he didn’t want to. He used to answer me every hour even when he was busy if you’re in a relationship seeing a change like this does make you think/ worry

[pleasestopthis]

I do understand as I've been in a relationship, and this kind of behavior is suffocating after some time.

[Asker]

But he is intentionally ignoring me I would’ve been okay if he gave me a reason why he didn’t answer for so long but he didn’t even give me that. I’ve always been nothing but sweet to him

[magiusX26]

gonna say it. you are not the center of the universe. other people exist. other things happen. life moves on. so what if its been 4 hours. dont fret until your multiple days of no form of communication.

[Sevenpointfive]

if your boyfriend is your life then you have no life

[Berethor]

If you really want to talk to him so often then why don't you come seeing him more often? anyway 4 hours of delay is not a justified reason to make a drama to your boyfriend.

[Runnerdude187]

Guys like people who give them space sometimes not necessarily so clingy

[Asker]

I’m not that clingy. I’m upset because I know that he’s been intentionally ignoring me even though I’ve been nothing but sweet to him. I would’ve been okay if he offered me an explanation why he took so long to answer me but he didn’t

[Pulseofsulfur]

Try not to only focus on him and try meditation or something else.

[Asker]

I went out on a run

[Asker]

Someone called me an obsessive control freak is that true? I just felt bad.

[Pulseofsulfur]

I wouldn't call you a control freak but obsessive yes.

[Asker]

I just got worried because of my past my ex would do this to me and he wasn’t interested and talking to other girls but my boyfriend would never do this to me. Turns out that I was just overthinking

[Pulseofsulfur]

That's why you're over obsessive about him

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Tell him how you feel and that this is on your mind, I think he should know how you feel

[Deku2009]

Did s you tell him this. Be careful not to come over off as clingy

[pigoat]

Seems like a toxic relationship

[Asker]

We’ve never argued before and we’ve always been happy but he’s being different now I didn’t think that that would happen. My guy friend told me to leave him on read until 2pm tomorrow, and to not make him any food when he comes, that he’s getting too comfortable in this relationship so I’m just opening and ignoring his messages right now

[spartan55]

Aren't you a needy one...

[Pink2000]

Ask him?

[Ripper_E]

toxic relationship

[Asker]

Why are people saying this we’ve never even argued yet? And we’re always happy when we’re together , always telling each other how much you love them etc., for me I just get worried when I see a slight change because of what I’ve been through

[Silvius]

He was busy