My Wife had lunch with her Ex and lied about it. Should I be worried?

[golf365]

One of my wife's friend dropped a gift for us with my wife's Ex as we were both out of town. Wife's friend knew my wife's Ex and was meeting him for a sales visit that week (My wife and her friend work for a company that sells machines to my wife's Exs' company), so she decided to leave the gift with him, and plan was for my wife to pick it up on the next sales call (this happens every three weeks or so). My wife also calls him on the phone once every couple of weeks for sales followups. I had absolutely no problem with all this. However, one day as I was leaving my office for lunch, my car had a low tire pressure warning, so I decided to drop it off at repair shop and walk to lunch to a nearby restaurant. To my surprise, my wife was in there having lunch with her Ex (at olive garden). We had just talked over the phone an hour earlier and she said was was going to be out shopping. So, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and went to a restaurant next door, hoping she would mention lunch with her Ex when I came home in the evening. When I got home, I saw our gift from my wife's girlfriend, and wife said he stopped by at the mall Starbucks and gave her the gift... Now I am really pissed and worried that she lied to me. What should I do? Should I be concerned? She tells me all the time that I am the "love of her life". She seems genuine in her love towards me and I love her very much. This lie has been eating at me non stop and I can't stop thinking about it... What should I do, please help...

Updates

+1 y

One more critical point. While having dinner that night, she asked me what I had for lunch, and that opened the door for me to ask her what she had for lunch. She said... I have some food before I left home to go shopping...

[ManThatKnewTooMuch]

I would let her go. You probably think I'm too harsh or unforgiving but you've mentioned nothing but red flags to us, dude.

1) Your story is convoluted. So your friend is giving your wife gifts? But she has the ex husband tag along? Why the hell doesn't she just give your wife the gift when she sees her at work? When questions like this have to be raised it's not a good indicator, dude. Things should be simple. Relationships should be simple.

2) Why is your wife still talking to the ex? Sales follow ups? Bullshit. She could easily talk to someone else. You're telling me that the absolute ONLY person she can talk to is her ex? And why over the phone? Can't it be done by e-mail?

3) She lied about meeting her Ex for lunch. Ok, maybe she didn't lie... she was just withholding that information because you didn't specifically ask, out of the blue, if she had lunch with her ex-husband. The other guy said to give her the benefit of a doubt, maybe it had something to do with the sequence of her day: starbucks, lunch, goes out. But that still doesn't meeting the Ex.

Benefit of a doubt? Sure, the only benefit I would give her is to hire a private investigator to follow her around or to set up hidden cameras in your house. Maybe even a GPS unit on her car. Honestly dude, that's the only benefit you can give her and the only one she deserves for lying to you about this. People only lie when they have something to hide.

A buddy of mine was able to view his girlfriends tracking information, it came with her phone. One night out of sheer happenstance he viewed it. His girl was supposed to be at the local movies with a girlfriend. Instead she was 100 miles away in a small college town; the only person she knew there was her ex boyfriend. He asked her repeatedly where she was... giving her the benefit of a doubt, hoping beyond all hope that she would at least come clean. No, apparently she was eating fucking sushi somewhere after the movies.

[ManThatKnewTooMuch]

FYI he didn't place any device on her phone... it was for some mutual reason that was really innocent and beneficial to them both. She just forgot he had it.

[golf365]

1 . My wife's girlfriend (BFF) brought us a gift when she was visiting out town. She lives in another state. So, she asked if she could leave gift with my Wife's Ex and she could pick it up on next sales followup visit.

2. Her Ex is the director of purchasing. He makes all final decisions on what to buy. While they were dating, he never bought anything from my wife's company and still does not. There is one old machine that they bought before my wife met him.

I am thinking about using GPS on her phone... Sounds like a good idea after she lied to me, but I am still unsure...

[ManThatKnewTooMuch]

Directors of Purchasing usually have people that do the dirty work for him, including going to meetings with lower level staff like your wife. Know what I mean? His title sounds pretty fucking high up on the totem pole... sounds like he should have an assistant handling those visits and reporting back to him.

I think an investigator would be worth your money. He'll take photos and tell you for sure what's going on with your wife. The GPS will only tell you where she is and you already know she's lying to you about that. If you're prepared to leave work to go find her based on GPS coordinates then that's obviously a much better financial option, I don't know how flexible your job is or what kind of bullshit you can come up with to get off of work.

Don't feel unsure about it dude. She lied, and she lied big. You're the one who was hurt here, not her.

[Billywu]

Ask her pussy or she's going to fuck him

[yaddayaddayadda02]

It still could have worked out that way...

Ex meets wife at starbucks, gives gift, mentions lunch and goes.

I would tell her you know that she was at lunch with him, and you expect full disclosure as far as the ex is concerned.

[golf365]

One more critical point. While having dinner that night, she asked me what I had for lunch, and that opened the door for me to ask her what she had for lunch. She said... I had some food before I left home to go shopping...

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Well then you need to confront her immediately.

[ManThatKnewTooMuch]

I wouldn't confront her. She will most likely deny it, even if something IS going on. You need to figure this out through sleuth activity.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

I didn't expect he'd ask her. I would figure he'd say something like "I know you had lunch with the ex then turned around and lied to me about it. You either cut all non-business contact with him or we are through"

[Phantasm01]

If I was in the same situation with what you have said I would be feeling betrayed and suspicious as well. However I am also the type of person that while we were having dinner that night and the questions asked I would have said something to the affect of "that is interesting because I had to drop the car off and decided to walk to a near by place for lunch and I could have sworn I saw you there having lunch with your EX" and then gauged the reaction of the situation.

With that said, has she ever in the past or the entirety of your relationship given you reason to distrust her before now? Are you the jealous type to begin with? I ask this last one because maybe it was a 'business lunch' and she didn't want to bring it up because it might start an argument or bring out jealousy issues.

Bottom line is you either need to let this go and wait and see if another situation happens and be honest with her at that time or you need to figure out how to sit down with her and have a conversation with her. Having her followed, purposely trying to dig up proof of something behind the scenes is not going to reflect well on you when you do confront her. If you trust her at all then you will ask her about the situation upfront. If you looking for proof you should end the relationship then save yourself the money and go ahead and end it because that line of thinking is the beginning of the end anyways.

[TheLastGirlScout]

I personally would have to see if it happened again. If it was one time, I can see why she might lie about it. She may have wanted to avoid pissing you off, or not wanted to have an argument about it, I'm not saying it's right, but she may have been doing it for reasons other than deception. However... If she's done it before, or does again, I'd be very very upset. I'd confront her calmly about it and insist she give you all the details then and there. If she tells the truth she will be able to answer all of your questions, if she's lying, it means she will have to think about her answers. Don't give her the time to make up bull shit. Have a look at her bank statements and see if the restaurant shows up.

[chopper1977]

I think you should keep your mouth shut and wait for everything to unfold. Prepare yourself mentally for the worst. It's really hard, hell, I don't know I could keep my mouth shut myself, but if you really want to get the truth, and be the mature one, you will keep quiet and WATCH. Whatever it is, it surely ain't good.

[Annymous8]

Mention you were going to lunch there and saw the two of them. Watch her reaction. She might think just think the two of you are good and she doesn't have to tell you though.

[golf365]

One more critical point. While having dinner that night, she asked me what I had for lunch, and that opened the door for me to ask her what she had for lunch. She said... I have some food before I left home to go shopping...

[Annymous8]

Bring up that you saw them together.

[ManThatKnewTooMuch]

And she completely lied about her lunch! This is so obvious! If she felt like you two were "good" then she wouldn't have to lie about a damn thing!

[wonder444]

Tell her you saw her having lunch with him and ask why she thought it nessary to lie about it. If you stumbles for an answer I'm affraid you already have it.

[Billywu]

Exactly right

[Billywu]

She's cheating and a ho. you are a sucker for not asking that night pussy. She's going keep on doing it untyou confront her so man up bitch.

[Anonymous]

Do you really need to ask?
Confront her or something.

[rahul_24]

Worried yup but don't jump. Just observe atm and see what happens