Getting Naked....

[flipper09]

i have been on two dates with a guy I met online. We talked for a couple weeks on the phone as we were both busy, before we actually met. our first date was drinks/apps at a nice bar on the water. walked the beach, played kissy face etc. date #2 was 4 days later, out to dinner! Very nice...good conversation! we kissed at the end of the date - kissy face again! Now, in chatting/flirting while we were kissing we made a joke about getting naked (we joked ealier how tequila is the "take your clothes off booz" etc)...well, we're kissing/hugging etc. and he made a comment along the lines of "the sooner I get you naked, the better"...I laughed it off! ...now, my question...do I address this? read into this? he doesn't strike me as the "just want to get laid" type...however, he clearly gets very into it when we're kissing...hands wander etc! ...I'm just not sure if I should mention the comment...ask what he meant? if that's what he's looking for etc? Or just ignore it as it really doesn't make a difference on my end anyway..hahah! (meanign naked happens when I'm ready...not a minute sooner lol) Just need a little insight...probably from a guy...or a girl who's had a similar experience. thanks in advance for any advice :)

[hisangel]

I don't think there is anything to read into. He wants to see you naked. Don't you want to see him naked at sometime too? He is just letting you know he wants it to be sooner rather than later. Like, that night sooner. Guys like testing the waters before they jump in. He doesn't want to be standing there with his pants around his ankles thinking that you are wanting sex as much as he does only to see a terrified look on your face.

As, far as mentioning the comment, I don't think you have to at all. However, I do think you should let him know that you have rules for sex. And be as clear as possible what they are. So if you wait 6 months, let him know that the kissing isn't a prelude to sex, it's just kissing. Even if your rules for sex are that you want to feel more comfortable in a relationship, I would give him a time frame. Cause being vague is only going to make him sexual frustrated and you irritated at him that all he keeps trying to do is get some off you. I know that sometimes the criteria for sex can be that you just get a feeling that you want to but I wouldn't tell him that is the rule cause then it just makes him jump through hoops to make you have that feeling. And he may not be jumping through the right hoops.

As far as him just being the "I just want to get laid" guy, there is no way of knowing that at this point. He is pushing hard, that is true. But he could just be pushing hard cause he always jumps in too fast to anything. Or he could have not had sex in a really long time and is ready to explode. It doesn't mean he will walk away after one night together. The best way to tell if he just wants sex is in how he treats you from now on. Does he call you like you think he should? Is he considerate to you? Does he take the time for you? Those are all good indicators he is thinking about you in more than just a sexual way. Also, if you keep saying no to sex, if he just wants sex, he isn't going to stick around so you will find out pretty quick what his intentions are.

This is just my opinion, but you might want to ease up on the physical aspect if you are going to make him wait a little longer. When we are in relationships we gauge other people's actions by our own feelings. So, if he is feeling horny and ready to have sex, he is going to read your affection as you wanting the same thing. Once, when I was young and foolish :), I totally jumped a guy cause I thought that's where we were but he wasn't even close. He was horrified. He wanted the relationship to go slow so we wouldn't ruin it with it just being about sex. But I was confused cause he was willing to be affectionate with me. So, if you want to wait, that is not only your right but really, really smart, but for his sake, it may be easier for him to do that without being allowed to do things like let his hands wander. He might start thinking you are a tease, even though you clearly aren't.

[Annette83]

I think you should ignore the comment.

You already know that he is attracted to you because he has gone on more than one date with you. So it isn't news that he probably does want to sleep with you.

He probably thought you would be flattered by the comment and did not mean to pressure you.

If you are serious about wanting a relationship with him, you should wait a while longer. Get to know him. Once you start having sex, the focus will be on that rather than getting to know each other.

So enjoy dating and getting to know him. Don't feel responsible for initiating sex. He will probably make it clear when he is ready and by that time you will be sending out your own signals. Relax!

[flipper09]

Thank you! :) I'll just chalk it up as a compliment :)

[Tamikaze]

Every guy has the potential for being the "just want to get laid" type if the opportunity for sex presents itself and they are not actually in a relationship with that girl. They would enjoy the sex and later, when they had time to think it through, figure out if they wanted more with you or not. Oh, and later could mean months later, not the next day.

There is no point asking about his comment. Actions speak louder than words. He is obviously physically attracted to you and would like sex. It is way too soon for him or anyone to know that he wants a relationship. That takes time. If you don't want to have sex and find out later he couldn't progress to anything else, wait to have sex.

[dreamer010999]

I wouldn't bring up his actual statement as a serious topic, as it sounds like it was said in the heat of the moment, and besides you joked about it as well. I'm sure he meant it and would like you naked, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like you in other ways too. Just know your own boundaries and what you want. If you don't want to get naked then don't, and you'll have a clearer picture of him from what happens after that. But if you don't want to get naked then you shouldn't make any more jokes about getting naked, because then you're sending the wrong signals. If you do want to get naked, well then you can't be a hypocrite just because you are better at filtering out inappropriate comments (though from what you say, I wouldn't call it inappropriate). Most of all, I would pay attention to what he says and does when he is not drugged up (either with alcohol, or with kissy face love/lust). Hope this helps!

[flipper09]

LOL!! drugged up.....funny! and thank you! excellent answer...I agree totally!

[JBrooks]

Don't read too much into it. It seems like it was just a tongue-in-cheek joke. And just because he wants to get you naked doesn't mean that's all he wants. It just means he finds you sexually attractive, which is a good thing. He's not trying to be pushy, just letting you know that he would be interested if you were.

[flipper09]

Thank you!! This is what I was thinking...but looking for a little insight! Guess my question made it sound like I'm really overthinking it...but I'm not..just looking for a man's perspective!! THANK YOU!

[ty-lady]

Be careful having drinks with men, that is the first thing that comes to their mind..sex. When the comment was made (sooner than later) you kinda laughed it off and nowadays we have to stop them right in their tracks in order to get our point across. When it gets hot and heavy it can be hard to stop so just make sure you don't bring him to that point knowing it is not going any further than that, obviously he can't handle it. Plus, you don't wanna seem lyk a tease (even tho you are not teasing him) but if we as women can't "laugh it off" that doesn't work, they don't get the "joke". ty-lady!

[SkinnerOne]

If Ii were a lady I would be on high alert over this. It sure does SOUND like an indication where his intent is.

However, Judging by your age range you know that men think about sex almost as much as they think about breathing. Knowing this then the question becomes... are YOU worth the wait for him?

[parineeta]

Well you DID joke about getting naked with each other. He gave you some time to let that sink in, and now he's testing the waters. Every man does, and so does every woman if she's genuinely interested in pursuing the relationship further. Now it's up to you how far yo want to go. I assume that at 42 you have enough sexual experience.

[sarahjohnston09]

Honestly, I wouldn't really care about the comment any guy can joke about things and not mean it. There is a chance he could mean it but that's why you gotta take a while before you get naked for him. If he is in it for more than just sex and all that he will wait. That's just my from my personal experiences.

[enlightenment]

well duh? Don't you think he wants to see you naked? I mean honestly, would you rather have him be like. "no no, that's fine. Please, please keep your clothes on." He is flirting, relax and enjoy it. Stop overthinking it

[Littletad]

Everyone plays the "laid jokes". It's our actions that govern our true personalities, not how were flirting with words.

[bnwsmile]

If you want to take things slow tell him. He'll let you know if you're worth the wait or if he's a jerk. God Bless!

[MadHatterni]

Everyone plays the laid jokes, fiffty, fiffty his actions are either to demanding or foolish.

[valo712]

ignored it but beware he does seem like he just wants it even if he doesn tstrike it so just test him with it see what he does

[jacquesvol]

He was joking... or not.

Forget his comment and you'll see when he reverts to it.

[Anonymous]

yeah ask him be like IS IT MY PUSSY THE ONLY THING YOU WANT?!

[asmodeus]

Congratulations! you're just about to get introduced into his list.