Is it okay to hug your guy friends while having a boyfriend?

Question

Okay so I've noticed that there are so many jealousy acts out there. And I just don't get it. I haven't been in a relationship yet but I've had quite a few crushes and I've never been jealous. My friend got really upset when her boyfriend hugged his female friend and joked around with her. I didn't understand I saw that they were just friends and that he didn't look at her the way he looked at my friend.

I hug and joke around with nearly all my guy friends but it's not the I'm gonna hold onto you until I die type of hug just a casual nice to see you hug.

Am I really weird? Could it be because I have a lot of guy friends tat I don't get jealous? Would this upset my boyfriend if I got one?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Seriously, it does not matter if what we think, it literally does not matter. Why? And is being jealous bad?

For me, I am a girlfriend. But the problem is she has many female friends and she is sometimes hugging or even holding hands with these guys. I will act like I do not care about it so to make her feel better but I actually, deep down in my heart, am fking furious. Why?

I have to admit I am a person that is rather conservative. I never touch a single girl ( only hand-shaking ) and I even avoild all unnecessary conversations with girls because I just want to give a peace of mind to the one I love. I want her to feel special and that I am loyal to her. And the fact that I am an Asian and she is from Europe also makes me so hard to endure it because she thinks hugging is not a deal but I really feel like any touching should be a very holy and close act that you only do that with who you love. Well, of course you can handshake your male friends, but I think hugging is a little bit too much. You think it is nothing because you are more open and casual person ( not saying you are casual in love but your personality ), but it is really not for everyone. So, my conclusion is, it depends.

If your boyfriend really does not like you to hug other men, then just don't fking do it and respect your man because you know he will get hurt. If your boyfriend is rather open and he can accept it, then it is not even a problem. So, it depends which type of person you love. If you really have a jealous boyfriend and you feel difficult avoiding unncessary hug for me, then you just do not love him enough, why don't you change a boyfriend that he will not get jealous at all.
People who do that just do not love enough, love enough to change for him/her.

I cannot tell my girlfriend about it because I know she won't, and I know we might break up after we both realise we don't suit each other. But my heart is really painful, really really painful sometimes that I feel like it has broken into pieces when my girlfriend just hang out with a single male friend and they hug. I really fucking hate this feeling honestly.

BearsAnswers · Accepted Answer

No problem. I put a huge amount of stock in honesty and communication, so something like hugging isn't an issue. Of course, I have a pretty non-traditional relationship structure anyways, so it's not an issue for me anyways. But even before then it didn't really bother me. I hug people all the time.

It's a trust thing, mostly. And a communication thing. If the boyfriend gets to know the people you are hugging, and it is clear that you are up front that he is your boyfriend, then it is usually not such a big deal. And I have a feeling a person like you would have a problem with a boyfriend that tried to be too controlling and jealous anyways.

ambielawton7 · Accepted Answer

i think its definitely ok to hug friends of the opposite sex while in a relationship, but depends on the hug, if its casual, friendly then great, but if its a super long tight holding on hug to a friend that isn't important to them, its not cheating just kinda weird. im a very affectionate person and i use to hug everyone, including people id just met (id get nervous... hug , awkward, laugh about it haha) but since being with my long term bf who cuddles me a lot, i don't tend to want to hug anyone else, including my closest friends, just seems kinda weird. :)

existing_not_living · Accepted Answer

Of course it's okay. I hug my guy friends all the time. I'm not in a relationship right now, but when I was in one I would still hug my guy friends. My ex didn't care if I did.

MindYourEyes · Accepted Answer

It's okay to hug! But if it's long and embracing... Caressing one another and grabbing n gridding each other's nuts! XD no wae!!! Hahaha

coachTanthony · Answer

It was probably okay a year ago lol

TruthBringer · Answer

That depends on your own principle. Some people think its okay, others have an issue with it.

For a person like myself who is leaning more to the conservative side, would have more of an issue with it compared to someone who isn't. I personally do not believe men and women can truly be platonic friends with very rare exceptions. Not everything has to do with "iNsEcUrItY". We men simply know how other men think. Many guys "befriend" women simply because they hope to become more than that as they cannot attract a woman in a more direct way. I made a Take which explains it in greater detail:

Why it’s almost impossible for men and women to be “just friends”

I don't date women who have male friends. Neither my girlfriend nor myself have friends of the opposite sex, let alone hugging them. So notorious drama that comes from opposite sex friends is not something we have to deal with. So if you are a person who has a bunch of male friends, then find yourself someone who has no issues with it.

If you end up with someone who does have a problem with it, and you happen to really care about him, then I suggest you compromise and respect his views.

EmyyWolf · Answer

It does matter because him being a friend or not.. simply doesn’t matter.

The male brain thinks a certain way. That’s why your Dad or your Brothers would warn you. Even though many of them act like a good buddy or friend or even if they have girlfriends or relationships themselves.

THE MALE BRAIN STILL THINKS A CERTAIN WAY.

Doesn’t matter how you think or not. You’re a woman, a female.

THE MALE BRAIN THINKS A CERTAIN WAY.

This is why a man doesn’t like it; when his woman has male friends or works with all men. There’s a reason behind this. It’s not insecurity. It’s not him being a jealous loser. It’s because he knows as man; how men think. And usually when you have male friends who you deem undesirable or betas or unattractive. Those guys are just waiting for you to give the green flag. They’re orbiters. They’re just trying to seep their way in. And everyone EVERYONE, specially your man / boyfriend / husband knows this very well

LostWonder94 · Answer

As long as it is the "Hiii buddy" type of hug then I see nothing wrong with it, but if I was in and see my girl hugging a guy for like 5min while he is reaching down and being all touchy feely... it will be time for me to pull out my can of whoop ass.

TenderFantasy · Answer

I wouldn't be comfortable with it. There's BOUNDARIES you can't cross when you're in a relationship with someone. You also have to CONSIDER THEIR SIDE/FEELINGS on the matter too, not just yours. Especially if you CARE about them! I've had this happen. Jealousy IS a natural thing but I think also it would depend on how secure the relationship is. If there is an understanding that the hug is not going to be anything too bad, then I guess. Your bodies are SPECIAL and they are supposed to be TREATED that way. If people hug you and you don't want them to HUG you, that is a VIOLATION towards you for example! You have to ask for permission aka CONSENT for touching others! Otherwise, it can mean that you don't respect their decisions/feelings and that's not a good thing. As for your boyfriend (if you ever get into a relationship with someone in the future), you HAVE to ask, it's better to ask then find out the hard way.

Miristheiss · Answer

Yes, within reason. It is hard to put a definition and description on it but it can reach a point to where: 1. They are hanging out with this person too much 2. They hug a little too much and too often or 3. They hug too long etc. and then I'd have to step in and say, ok, this is crossing the line, this is too much and somethings got to change, we can be in a relationship with you spending this much time or getting this affectionate with someone else.

But just a "it's been nice seeing you, bye, take care" innocent hug good bye for someone they don't see that often, that would be fine.

It is a scale and there are degrees between all hugs are 100% fine, you can hug as many people as you want, as often as you want, for as long as you want and the other side of the spectrum, you cannot hug anyone ever. What is acceptable falls rationally and with common sense between the two ends of the spectrum.

KrisPW · Answer

I'm a hugger and affectionate person with my family and friends. Hubby has never known me different and has never said or indicated in any way that he has a problem with it. That said, if he did have a problem with it, or if one of the guy friends or their partners did, then I would certainly tone it down or stop hugging that friend as appropriate.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

If I am a friend of their friend and we hang out and she wants to give him a hug no problem. It should be reserved for good friends though and not just given out willy-nilly to anyone she considers being friendly.

I would apply the same criteria, so she doesn't think I am friends with every girl out there and just trying to get a feel of their boobs against my body.

FlutteringFeelings · Answer

I don’t give hugs to guys and the guys that I’m acquaintances with know that I don’t give hugs. I give “daps” or handshakes and the guys that are around me respects that. The only man that I hug would be my brother, father, and family members in my family.

sheenagwapa · Answer

in my opinion i think flirts should be with flirts... anyway it depends on my boyfriend but then again i will not hqve a boyfriend i cannot teust.. if it's just a casual hug it's fine. in my country hugginh friends is unusual but to the flirts be it men or women this is a very good excuse for them

TheIrishWolf · Answer

It's just a hug. That person is paranoid, unless the hug is for too long and intimate. But there nothinv wornbw ith hi and goodbye hugs. Even men do it with ither men. In many cultures it's regular practise ti hug AND kiss in the cheek.

Lliam · Answer

It's okay to hug your guy friends, just not passionately. I mean, hugs are like handshakes. But a tight, lingering hug with a guy is suspicious.

Anonymous · Answer

I personally wouldn't like it, but I am a jealous person and have been cheated on by every guy I have been with. So it would make me a bit uncomfortable.

Boomchakalaca · Answer

Italians kiss strangers on the cheek, ur fine lol. Side hugs r the go to bc guys can feel a womens chesticles. ✌🏼

CubsterShura · Answer

That's for every individual to decide for themselves what they are comfortable with. As long as it goes both ways, I don't see the problem.

AlexisDiani · Answer

Yes of course it's OK. I'm a hugger and I hug all my friends irrespective of gender. I think my boyfriend would be surprised if I stopped.

chicosuave · Answer

a girl i hanged with told me she had a boyfriend. when i gave her a 5 second hug. completely harmless she stopped talking to me.

LovingJo · Answer

Of course it's OK. But the amount of guys  not  thinking it's ok, shows just how insecure we are as humans!! 💯😔

FifiJones · Answer

Is it ok for your boyfriend to hug his girl friends?

Anonymous · Answer

Of course it's okay to hug your friends, regardless of gender!

Is it okay to hug your guy friends while having a boyfriend?

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