Crap! My girlfriend's mom is racist. What do I do?

[pack3h8t3r]

Hello everyone, i'm a new user. So this is my first question with a problem that will follow me through out the rest of my relationship. Recently I've found out, that my girlfriends mom is racist. Me being (black) My girlfriend (white), she explained to me that it doesn't effect her opinion on me at all. Which is awesome, the problem is I will not be able to take her out on dates or be able to hangout with friends. We are 16 years old and it's effecting are relationship a lot, I just need advice on how to handle the situation as far as what to do. So should leave her? Try and communicate with her mom, because her mom hasn't met me, nor will she even try and meet me. Or should I just wait until something happens, I'm really confused and desperate for advice. Please help, my greatest appreciation and deepest thanks

Updates

+1 y

So here's an update. She calls me asking if I wanna take pictures with her, which caught me off guard. This has brought up a lot of questions in my head, but the main one is whether I should go or not. Like what if her mom finds out? She told me her sister in-law was going to take them for us, I don't want to cause more family drama between her and her mom. Also I don't want to disrespect her mom, by going behind her back. Should I go and take the pictures, or just call it off?

[Anonymous]

Sorry to hear this, you sound like a great guy. This is a battle your girlfriend has to take up with her family - you can't do much but support her in this battle if she chooses to challenge their narrow minded views. Afterall, she is the one they love and dont want to lose and dont want to hurt. She is the only one out of the two of you that has power over them. If they feel they will lose her than they will be more inclined to change. You are both very young to be taking on this battle. But her parents are playing a dangerous game because if you guys break up she could end up very resentful towards them.

[SilenRose]

Don't be to sure. There are incidents where the family disowns the children for dating an ethnicity they hate.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes they do... but if there is any chance of turning them around it will only happen if they love their daughter enough to challenge their own ideas. Its kind of like what is stronger - their views or thwir bond with their child. That is why I said you are both young to be taking on this battle - if they disown her then that could be emotionally and financially devastating. If she was in her 20s and had a way to support herself it would have less impact.

[pack3h8t3r]

I will definitely be taking note of that, Thank you for your time and effort.

[Opinion Owner]

No problem. All the best - I really feel bad for you both and I hope it works out!

[SilenRose]

Well the relationship is limited. Your girlfriend likes you but she's afraid of her mom finding out. Because of this you can't go on dates or be seen together in public. What's the point? It's nice your girlfriend isn't racist but I couldn't be with someone who is afraid to be seen with me in public.

Side note: I noticed you're 16. So is the only time you two are together is in school?

[pack3h8t3r]

Im sorry I've left details out, but her mom already knows we are dating. She has told ne before that her mom wanted us to break up, and pretty much school is the only time. Because she can't ask her mom to hangout with me.

[SilenRose]

Oh okay. I see now. Well I hope the advice others gave you helps. I saw that you said you met the dad but you're more worried about the mom and siblings. At least the stand seems to have some sense. I wish you both the best of luck.

[SuperMommie13]

There isn't anything you can do about it. Her mother is stuck in her ways and was more than likely brought up that way. y'all can still be together but thats something that will always be on the back burner. When and if you meet her mother just be as respectful and gentlemanly as possible. ( yes ma'am no ma'am please thank you, ill treat your daughter right, etc.)

[pack3h8t3r]

Thank you for the advice, much needed advice

[Little-Hippie]

To be honest, I've never had a girl's parents like me.

But you can calm the waters by buttering her mom up.
Try sending her a nice arrangement of flowers, or maybe find out something she likes, a hobby or something, and get that to her somehow.
WITHOUT the help of your girlfriend, mind you. You can't have your girlfriend bring the things to her mom for you.

Your girl's mom may never come to like the idea of you.
But you need to make it as hard as possible for her to hate you as a person.

[pack3h8t3r]

Ok awesome😊

[TheOneAndOnlyBart]

I'd at least try to meet her mum. Once she meets you she might realise that she was wrong about you after all. Show her that you're nice and polite and that you'll treat her daughter right and she might just change her mind about you.

[pack3h8t3r]

I've tried to arrange that with my gf, but even my girlfriend doesn't want me meeting her. At first I was told the reason why I couldn't meet her, was because her mom needed time to adjust. But she would never tell me why, and at this point her mom doesn't acknowledge our relationship

[DubTheFather]

Where no shirt show more of your skin letting her know under the skin you won't find anything different its like a red apple and a green apple they're both apples the taste practically the same and you won't find anything different underneath the apples skin.

[pack3h8t3r]

lol im kinda confused on what that means but thank you.

[drayday4]

Keep dating her for as long as you care about her don't rock the boat too much you'll be old enough for her to spend time with you with out her parents approval soon. It just a year or 2 depending on how much you care about her.

[pack3h8t3r]

Yea, something I should prepare myself for huh?

[drayday4]

Yep only if your in for the long haul nothing is wrong with calling it quits early

[atomique]

Was in your shoes nearly a year ago. You could put your best foot forward and meet the friends and mom but dont expect a lot of change. Maybe wait a long while before meeting the family.
.

[pack3h8t3r]

Ok I've already met her dad, things went great with him. Also a couple of her cousins, just the mom and siblings im worried about.

[HoneySweetLips]

Don't leave her because of her racist parents.
If you both love each other than that is all that matters.

[Anonymous]

Is this girl really worth it? I'm sure u can find someone else

[Anonymous]

Dayum get that white pussy good with dat long dick 👍

[apple24]

Give her the finger.