Guys, why do you ignore your girlfriend when you are stressed?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of seven months recently moved home and we've only been apart for three weeks. the past week he's been distant and not wanting to call/facetime or make plans for me to visit. i thought he was just being a jerk and trying to get out of being with me. I told him i wanted to end things cause him ignoring me was painful and not working. it turns out that he's been having home trouble and his parents kicked him out of his house and that's why he has been distant and not wanting to plan my visit. so of course i don't want to break up because he wasn't being a jerk on purpose and i want to be there for him. the last thing he texted me was "i have to go, I'm sorry, i love you too." and he hasn't said anything else. I've sent a few texts saying I'm sorry i made it about me, i didn't know what was going on, i love you and I'm here for you. he hasn't blocked me or told me we are done. this all happened in one day and it hasn't been 24 hours since we last talked so do you think he is done with me or just needs space to figure things out? why won't he let me be there for him and help? and how long should i wait to check on him?

[KHaskins]

Girls do the same thing. I'm in the same situation now. Online long-distance relationship lasted for eight months. Best I can tell we're broken up now - she cut off contact a month ago, stopped answering in the middle of our last conversation and deactivated her Facebook (our main means of communication) two days later without announcement. Part of me, the irrational part that still loves her, is still holding out. She's under a lot of pressure at school. Part of me, the rational part that remembers her questioning a month before this happened whether we'd get to meet in person, knows I'm being deliberately ignored. She's still active on Instagram (which I know next to nothing about), but either hasn't noticed or ignored my friend request there.

[JohnBelluci]

This is a TYPICAL male behaviour, and I get that shit all the time.

We want to be ALONE when we deal with problems. I know as a girl you would do the opposite and seek support from the people you love, and therefore you feel excluded because he doesn't share his problems with you, but this is really how we handle things. Remember he's a guy. he doesn't has the same logic as you.

Just respect it because if you don't, you will present yourself as an additional problem on top of those he already has. Now he has to manage your emotions as well because you feel hurt by his behaviour.
I had the same problem. This is a classic seriously. Just let him be. he'll come back when he's done.

[Asker]

it's just so hard cause i don't know where we stand now and i don't know if he's okay and he's thousands of miles away so i can't check on him

[JohnBelluci]

He just got kicked out. He has much urgent troubles to take care of right now. There is no reason for him wanting to get rid of you. It doesn't make any sense. His troubles are unrelated to you. In fact it would be even worse if he was to lose you now as well. If you care about him then at least try not to make it all about your feelings if possible if you know what I mean. I don't mean to offend you at all by saying this.

I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't talk to you for a few days. Don't take it personally. Just be patient that's all. Offer help from time to time if you want but don't make him feel bad for not behaving like usual. he can't.

[Asker]

you're not offending me, it makes perfect sense. thank you so much.

[Peter0]

My girlfriend is like that when she's stressed.

We're still working that one out.

Do your best to remember what he's feeling, and talk to him (when things are a bit calmer) about keeping up with you and making sure you know where he's at emotionally. My girlfriend and I are getting better at it (her more communicative, me less freaked out)... slowly. Good luck!

[Veebee]

We guys have a habit of swallowing insults and not dump troubles on someone we love. So, yes, give him space - do remind him that you will be there for him whenever he is ready. Love and affection is motivating factor to win over troubles

[Asker]

ok I've been texting him once in the morning and once at night just to say that i love him and im here and then i leave it at that

[Veebee]

Perfect. Blessings for both of you

[Asker]

thank you so much!

[Veebee]

You are welcome :)

[JSmith925]

Give him some space and the next time he is stressed, don't add any by pressuring him. Some people want support when they have problems, others want distance. He will probably come around.

[Klaatu51]

coz i wanna calm down... i need some time alone :(

[Asker]

ok i understand that. how long should i give him before i check on him though. i'm really worried

[Klaatu51]

guess he'd approach u first :)

[Asker]

so you think were ok? he just needs space to figure his life out?

[Klaatu51]

mhm.

[Prakbio]

may be he need sometime... so wait for sometime... and see what happens

[Consultant]

I ignore everyone when im stressed