My boyfriend held hands with another girl?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I are in a LDR and he recently admitted to me that he held hands with his ex-girlfriend and that he has 'urges' towards her. When I asked him whether he would act on them he says he doesn't know. This worries me because it implies that he wants to sleep with her.

He says he loves me and only me and that he only has a physical attraction towards the girl, and that love and sex are separate things to him. So he's basically saying that if he does have sex with her it's only sex and it doesn't mean he loves her. What do I do?

[MaskedSanity]

You dump him asap.

Everyone has urges, that's what porn and wanking exist for.

What he's doing is trying to justify cheating to you, so when he does go and bone her, he can later tell you that he "warned" you, that he was "honest" with you and try to make you feel like your anger at him is unreasonable since he "trusted" you with his feelings about this.

Love and sex can very much be separate things. You can fuck someone without actually loving them. However, he's agreed to be in a committed relationship with YOU and now that you're not there to fulfil his sexual desires, he's trying to come up with some bullshit to justify infidelity.

Seriously, what a fucking asshole.

[sailorjupiter]

totally bullshit. tell him you're not comfortable with this thing and make him clear it's not cool to do that. even admitted that he have the urges to her, this is dangerous to be honest.

have a deep discussion with him to see where we your relationship stands. if he loves you, he will never have sex with other girl. period

[obiwansmistress]

Dump him, if he even thinks there's a possibility of him cheating on you then what's the point? It sounds like he's trying to convince that sex is just sex, so that he can fuck her and still have you forgive him.

[kataloso]

Hopefully he only sleeps with her because then at worst it would be a bad sexual dream or whatevs and everybody has those.

[sobg71124]

Make it very clear to him, that if he chooses to be unfaithful, you are gone. And gone for good. Period.

[spuitkaas]

Spunds like he has some sexual urves like every normal human being and his ex is the girl who's physically most close to him right now. It may sound stupid, but you should visit him and have some crazy sex with him so his urges will be quiet for a while.

[complicated_soul]

"He doesn't know."

He is not worth your time, love.

You break up with him.

[Anonymous]

No that's completely different just because you have urges doesn't excuse the fact that you've slept with someone if it did people would be raping each other. I think your boyfriend needs to understand that because cheating is cheating there is no excuse or whatsoever and maybe that's a wake up call for you dontcha think? Would you do the same to him? Remember when someone acts like they don't care about you believe them!

[abundantlyrich]

He has needs that surpasses his loyalty for you. You shouldn't have been in a relationshipp with him if this has been an issue for the longest time, while maintaining a connection with you.

[Drooogie4]

Get away from him.
He doesn't "love" you. Everything about that is total disrespect towards you.
Find someone faithful, in all aspects.

[Esplorare]

Shady. Cut his ass off and leave him to his shady messes without including you and risking your heart.

[singlebee]

I told you already that he is an asshole who is just using you... he doesn't love you!!

What he told you about the love and sex being two different thing is just a load of bullshit..!

[colourhide]

dump his ass and find someone who will be faithful towards you

[zombiebabe]

you better dump him asap!

[GoddessOfBeauty]

Tell him to go fuck himself