Should I give my boyfriend of 2 years a hall pass? Please help?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We're very much in love, we live together, and we're planning on getting married when we graduate from college. We're only 20 years old though, we lost our virginities to each other and we're each other's first serious relationship. A couple months ago I noticed my boyfriend seemed pretty aggitated. I came to learn that he was feeling like he was missing out on "the college experience". All of his friends were going out, getting drunk, and banging random girls and he was feeling like he was missing out on all of that. We talked about it and he was distraught. He was so scared of ruining our relationship but he really wanted those experiences. I told him I'd give him a hall pass and he accepted, however, right before he was supposed to use it he got cold feet and said he only wanted to be with me. Now here we are in the present, having the same conversation we were having a few months ago. He wants to have sex with other girls, but he wants to be with me for forever, blah blah blah. I was so sure that a hall pass was a good idea a few months ago but when he said he didn't want it, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulder. Im afraid of being compared to another girl who might be prettier or skinnier or better in bed. I'm afraid of losing my boyfriend to some skank. I'm afraid of an innocent one night stand turning into a full blown affair. I've told him about my concerns and he told me that would never happen and I trust him but I can't turn off that negative voice in the back of my head. I can't go to my friends about this because they would just tell me to dump him. But I understand how men think and I know that this isn't about me, it's just an experience he needs. I just don't want to lose my best friend and the love of my life in the process. Can anyone give me some advice?

[NerdInDenial]

He's not ready to be married. It's best that you two wait after college and once your careers have been established. Anyway, if you don't give him this "hall pass" he'll resent you at a later argument or bring up how much he had to sacrifice. It's going to happen. The question is do you want to experience these shenanigans as well? You might resent him at a later date because you gave him a hall pass but you were never given the same. The ideal method is to go on a "break" where both of you can enjoy college. If you two find out that the other side is not as fun or great as you thought, then it was meant to be. If either of you fall for someone else or don't come back to the relationship, it was never going to last anyway.

[Ogopogo]

A hall pass is a bad idea in this case. One of you will wind up going beyond what is allowed and hurt the other. Tell him that he can stay out on occasion with no questions asked, and when he does you will do the same, no fine print. Agree to be safe, to spend 5 or 6 nights a week together, and to always make each other #1.

[brookeelizabeth96]

It makes sense that he would be feeling this way since you two got together when you were relatively young. I think that giving him a free pass to sleep with whoever he wants is only going to hurt you. Sure, it may sound like a good solution right now, but when he actually sleeps with a beautiful girl, you'll likely be curious if she's better in bed, prettier than you, offers him more than you could, etc. You'd probable get insecure about it and resent him for sleeping with someone else when you didn't get to. It's a messy situation.

[MzzDeceiver]

No!! No hall pass... he should be with you and you only. Relationships have their rough patches but.. gotta go through it together. you guys made a commitment to each other. If he gets a hall pass now.. what would happen when you guys are married? He's gonna want a hall pass cause his single guy friends are gonna be out having fun. The excuse will be he wants to have fun in his twenties... Like nooooo.. no hall pass else he's gonna take advantage of that.

[ThatSpecialPerson]

Giving him a hall pass is not such a great idea. He's missing out college experience? That's just bs. If you give him a "hall pass" it's going to end up bad. Goodluck

[Red_Arrow]

From the night I first met the woman who was to become my wife, I knew she was the one and did not touch another woman from then on. If I felt any need to have sex with any other woman, I would know that my love for her was not real. When you really love someone, you don't have sex with others.

[alecz]

He has to make up his mind. Either he wants you or he wants to go experience the world. If you give him a pass it should also apply to you. Are you planning to go see other guys too? It wouldn't be fair or smart to tell this guy to go sleep around, then come back to you. Just as you said, what if he does fall for another girl? Suppose it happens after a year. You would've wasted a year of your life. Gotta think smart.

[Anonymous]

Don't give him the hall past ok ur not ok with it so