I found another girls hair tie in my boyfriends car and he said he doesn't know whose it is. How does he not know? Is he cheating on me?

[Anonymous]

So recently my boyfriend has been obssessed with my weight and has been pushing me to lose weight. Yes I have a little tummy but i am no where near fat. I was looking through his reddit and he had commented on someone elses post that relationships are both physical and emotional. He also says without one of them the other partener will look elsewhere. Does this mean he is looking elsewhere because I have a tummy? He will not let me on his phone or put me as his screensaver. He never posts pictures and rarely takes pictures with me. The other day he took me to the ER and let me listen to music on his phone since mine was dead. A groupme message poppped up and I read the messages. One earlier that day had said that they found out my boyfriend had sex with a girl eveyone hates. He denyed it in the groupme but is it because he knows everyone hates he? Also am I wrong for read his groupme messages? I never read his messages but I now have a guilty conscience. I also found a blue hair tie in his car on the passenger side floorboard. It doesn't belong to me. I hadn't seen him in a month or so because we go to different colleges. When I asked whose it was he said he didn't know and that it could be anyones because his friends carpool sometimes. Do I have a right to be suspicious? How do I ask him without him getting upset? I love him He is my first boyfriend we've been dating a year nov.8 I just dont know what to think I just know I dont want to lose him. What do you all think about my situation?

[Lovelinefan]

First relationships usually don't last forever, but the blue hair tie might not be anything to worry about. If he's off at college and a bunch of people hop in one car to go somewhere, that's a totally legit possibility. The group message thing, well... Probably not the best thing to do (reading it), but at the same time I don't think most people would blame you, especially as his girlfriend of a year. Theoretically there shouldn't be anything to hide, but the bigger risk of reading stuff like that is, well... exactly what you found. Inconclusive evidence that puts you in a tough spot... I made the same mistake with a girlfriends "private" blog, read some stuff that I immediately wished I hadn't, and it ate away at me until I confronted her about it. Ultimately turned out alright, we cleared things up (no cheating involved, just lunch and reminiscing with her ex a few weeks prior which I found out about on the blog) and it ultimately made our relationship stronger I think.
You might want to confront him about this group message, or you might not. Only you can really decide that one. How far up the message was it? is it something where it would be obvious that you were snooping or could it be innocent enough that it was towards the bottom of the message so only scrolling up a little bit would have shown it?

I'd be a little suspicious and proceed with caution, though there's really not any definitive evidence against him. This is a time to make sure you're communication is extremely clear, get on the same page, let him know what you want and need from the relationship.