My boyfriend is too gentle and obedient?

[Anonymous]

We have been dating for almost 3 months. He is amazing and I really like him a lot. Ever since we met he's been like this which was a great attribute at first, but to be honest it's starting to annoy me a little now. I know I sound like a very bad person, but I want him to be a little more dominant and rough. He kisses me so slowly and gently and having sex is like a slow motion movie. He's very careful when touching me and also with his words, he would do anything just to avoid conflict or getting me upset. He is a very carrying person and very emotional and even when I do something wrong he wouldn't get upset at me, which is driving me crazy sometimes. I am different, I'm way more rebellious and sharp. I like teasing and I'm very perverted minded and submissive. Sometimes I just want him to get into a crazy mode, to turn into a gorilla, toss me on the bed and fuck me fast and hard. But I know he'll never do that because he's not like that, the gorilla is usually me, lol. I don't know what to do... Break up or tell him to man up a little?

[Anonymous]

Submission is a woman's natural state and woman are happiest when submitting to the will of their husband or father. The rise in feminism has left a lot of women unhappy in life and 1 out of 4 women are on anti depressants.
Sometimes it's necessary when my wife isn't acting right, refusing to keep the house cleaning and have a meal prepared for when I come home from work. I tried to discuss her disrespectful behavior but she flew into a rage and attacked me so I grabbed her and put her across my knee hitched up her skirt pulled down her panties and with the palm of my hand spanked her bottom as hard as I could for 10 minutes. Her ass was red raw and she couldn’t sit down for a week. She ran home to her parents who were discusted by her behaviour and her father threatened to take his belt to her. After a week she realised how wrong she had been andrawn apologised, we had amazing make up sex. Ever since she's been as good as gold putting maximum effort into our marriage and is now pregnant. It was all just a classic shit test to test my limits and of course if I hadn't disciplined her she would not respect me. She is happier now sumitting to my will and being the good helper the lord intended.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I feel like this is a fantasy. Lol.

[pernicioussloth]

lol great story.

[Chico_brah]

Did you just finish reading 50 shades of gay my man?

[RJGraveyTrain]

@Chico_brah Probably.

[guy532]

It's called proper communication, the dude probably has no idea that it even bothers you, hell he probably thinks you're falling for him. Just tell him the truth, tell him that you like it when guys are really dominant and aren't afraid to put you in your place when you deserve to be and that you like it when guys are also rough and dominant in bed or find a porno with how you'd like to be fucked and watch it with him and casually drop that that's how you want to be fucked.
Don't dump him over this. It sounds like he really cares about you and that's why he's being such a doormat, because he's afraid of losing you. If I had to take a guess, you're probably one of if not his first girlfriend or he's very inexperienced. Trust me, the beast is in there somewhere and he's just holding it back out of fear of losing you due to conflict.

[Nerukami]

Basically what this dude said, really. The most important thing in relationship is communication about everythimg - from smallest things to the ones that bother you the most.

[redeyemindtricks]

Hey, well...
... the average gorilla penis is less than 1 inch long. (srsly... look it up)

.. I mean, mb that will make you feel better about his lack of gorillatude bahah

__

In all seriousness tho... Sexual incompatibility is a complete dealbreaker (... or SHOULD be, at least!)... but, this goes beyond mere sexual incompatibility, even.

This is... a matter of him not even being comfortable with the base nature of him being the boy, and you being the woman.

Not good gurl.

I wrote a treatise about this here (woman's mho)
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2383024-how-do-you-let-guys-know-you-want-to-have-rough-sex

Check it out.

[ChevelleBaby]

Spend a day with my ex who will beat your ass and talk down on you and you'll run back to this guys arms hoping he will never change and be the good man that he is. If you try to change him, prepare to be let down. Sometimes changing someone will end out wrong and will be wishing he never changed. Now, my current boyfriend is dominant and I'm very submissive. Our sex life is just that but outside of the bedroom he is sweet to me with an edge. Meaning won't let me walk all over him. vice versa. Maybe try teaching him what you like in bed and see if he follows. Outside the bedroom, let him be the way he is. Sounds like a great man.

[SarahsSummer]

Talk to him. Tell him it's ok if he wants to just "take" you. Ask him if he ever wants to be rougher on you. Tell him he can. If and when he does show a little aggression, praise him or moan, groan, say YES! YES! or find some other way of letting him know how great it is.

[fashionguy17]

Women think that men are supposed to know what a woman is thinking. I didn't know we were psychics.

I'm slightly like your man. However... I'm very opinionated, I tell my woman what I think and I tell her what she needs to hear... even if it hurts her (sometimes the truth hurts).

Anyway... in bed, I'm very gentle and careful and take things slow. One day she came to me and told me what she likes. She told me she likes getting her ass slapped, choked, her hair pulled and just being rough.

I started being rough with her in bed, and now she can't get enough.

You just need to talk to him and tell him what you like. MAN UP 😂.

And for you dudes saying this guy needs to man up. Shut the fuck up. Half you bitches aren't even getting laid or never had a relationship.

[Anonymous]

The most important part of what she wrote is this..

''Ever since we met he's been like this which was a great attribute at first''

This translates to ''I'm never happy''. If the guy was dominant, she'd be complaining he was too rough. if he was outgoing, she'd be complaining he was too loud.

If this was such a great attribute AT FIRST, it means the problem lies with her.

Her boyfriend is too gentle and obedient... after she got bored of him being so. It could just as well be about her boyfriend being too dominant after she got bored and wanted to be treated more gently.

[Browneye57]

It may not be a match. Seems we have this whole crop of girlie-men these days, they're too compliant, supplicating, which just makes a woman cringe.

And no, you're not going to change him. If he's not the way you like then NEXT him. Otherwise you'll become bored and loathesome and bail, cheat, or shut down sexually. Any which way it's a fail.

Guys get with girls hoping they'll never change.
Girls get with guys thinking if they just bug the shit out of them for long enough they MIGHT change them into something they could actually stand to be with.
Choose wisely, treat kindly.

Reminds me of a quip...
A vagina is like a tin roof - if you don't nail it down hard it ends up over at the neighbors house. :)

[RJGraveyTrain]

Honestly these types of guys frustrate the hell out of me too. Not bad guys at all but not partner material to me - always being a "yes man" speaks volumes for his self worth and confidence.

If I were you I'd say be blunt. Tell him you love him but his carefulness is driving you nuts and he needs to just let go, relax, and gut up a little bit.

[Krodaxun]

Some guys are just that, gentlemen. If you want something in the bedroom, tell him. You can't pleasure someone if you don't know what they like. "Great at first" shows that you likely weren't happy to begin with, or he helped you discover who you really are. I would try talking to him first. If he isn't willing to try it, move on because you aren't very compatable.

[Analinda1999]

this is him. if it does not suit you break up so someone who wants a gentle person can have him.

it makes him feel good to be gentle. you can tell him you'd enjoy some rough stuff but he most likely won't feel comfortable.

don't tell him to man up. he IS being a man, he is respectful and gentle. that is the kind of man he is--not enough of them in my opinion.

there's no reason to insult his manhood just bc you want a different KIND of man.

[UnknownXYZ]

www.court-records.net/.../miles-crossed(c).gif

Yeah... I see where this is going... Better break up with him. You will only feel resentment if he changes his ways because you specifically told him to do so.

[Dim1213]

Talk to him and if needed show him. Make him see that your not fradgle. He might be scare to act to brashly around you. Tell him and show him that you like it rougher. Guys can change how they act it sounds like he is gentle and somewhat shy. He needs to loosen up with you. Don't make it sound like he is not acting manly tell him that you want him to act more like a Brutish man.

[MrOracle]

You can tell him what you want and see if he can become what you want, but honestly, the chances are that he's simply not that guy, and won't ever BE that guy. This is the type of characteristic that you have to specifically look for and find, not something you can expect someone to BECOME if they aren't that way already.

[Chico_brah]

He's not going to change. You can tell him these things, but if you have to communicate that, he's going to feel forced to do it. At that point it will be roleplaying because it's not in his nature to be rough. You're not going to have mind-blowing orgasms if he's playing a role to satisfy you. It's just not in him. You two are simply not compatible.

[ravi00]

hey can you tell me which region do you belong? and how you came close to him. because initially we see only virtue but thereafter it ll b usual for us and that ll be normal. then our expectations increase and we expect more and more.. so if you want to be happy in that relationship than please you hve to comprise. otherwise there is another way.. which i can't tell you here.

[OlderGuy965]

Communication! Tell him. It might totally turn him on and your sex will be fantastic, or he may be a submissive type, in which case, you'll be bored silly and dump him or cheat on him. Talk to him. If he can't handle it, tell him to move on. Be nice about it, but just nip it in the bud, right fucking now!

[Anonymous]

don't tell him to man up a little.. talk to him and tell him to let loose. he may just be still a bit shy towards you. after time I'm sure he will fuck you hard. just tell him how you want to be fucked in future and suggest playing dominance games in the bedroom. if all else fails then get a new man

[nevermoregirl7]

Talk to him. Tell him you need to be roughened up more by him. maybe explore BDSM with him. If you both are learning, he might feel less insecure about it.

[sawno]

Tell him what you look for. He doesn't need to change who he is, he can just play towards the fantasy.

[lovelyhoneybones]

That's normal. It's in a female's nature to want a man that can take charge and lead the relationship. Though if it's in his nature to be obedient, you can't change that about him.

[JustADude20026]

If u want dominant then u shouldn't expect people to change. Go for someone who is dominant

[JohnDoe3000]

Tell, especially about the bedroom thing (that's one area where there's a good chance he could change).

[SpartanMEC777]

tell him to man up a little tell him what it is you want if it doesn't help then I guess drop the bomb.

[Justinaveragedude]

Talk to him. Don't assume he can't do something, just because he has been sweet all this time doesn't mean he doesn't want to get a little rough and wild.