Relationships

Jealous over someone who isn't mine... why?

I spent my first two years of high school hopelessly crushing on this guy who knew existed, but treated me like chopped liver. He'd flirted with me a few times, but nothing more than that. He was super close to my twin sister, but didn't talk to me at all. My ex best friend was dating his best friend (and still is), so I went to EVERY single one of his baseball games last year, and even got the pleasure of meeting his family. I'd dreamed of him actually giving me the time of day in hopes of becoming something more, but that dream was instantly shattered and destroyed when he started dating this girl last summer. Truth be told I did not take it well, and am still having a hard time coping. I stopped going to baseball games this year, even though I loved the sport. It was just too hard watching her become everything I'd hoped and dreamed of. I avoided many areas of school so that I didn't run into them together, and of course I somehow always got lucky and would get stuck having to watch him peck her on the mouth as he walked her to class because I had no other route. I deleted the girl off my snapchat, but kept him. I added her back recently, but the whole thing seems pretty dumb. Long story short, I was miserable this year. I hated (not literally) that girl, and I had absolutely no reason to. He wasn't my boyfriend. We never dated. Never had a thing. But still, here I was, insanely jealous over someone who wouldn't even look my way. The more I think about it, I think I liked the thought of him more than him himself because I'd spent a lot of the time fantasizing about what we could be, and naming our future children instead of trying to get to know him. If that's the case, why am I still so jealous? Because this is so futile, and I feel like I'm wasting energy that I don't even have lmao
Jealous over someone who isn't mine... why?
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