Is it wrong to date your former therapist? Would it work?

[Anonymous]

Yes

No

[btbc92]

Yes because on the grounds of breaking patient confidentiality. You dating your former therapist would mean that boundary that protects your private thoughts, feelings and opinions as well as secrets will be compromised. Your prone to manipulation and abuse. Like a few have said already, it may feel like you have feelings for them, but that is because you are infatuated. If you are already like this then you need a companion that is NOT your therapist legally or was at some point. A dating partner, friend or family is supposed to be your confidant if you can trust him. But if you can have that trust in your former therapist, then there is no stopping you in finding somebody else to place that trust in.

[Asker]

Thank you, this has really helped me. The only difference with this situation is that my therapist out of the blue said that he can't see me anymore therefore he is transferring me. On our last appointment he says that the real reason is because he likes me. Yet he still considered it as inappropriate so we started off as friends and it just escalated from there and now he's in trouble.

[btbc92]

Well, that's the burden he has to bear. This was something he chose to do, he knew the consequences, he knew the rules, and he broke it. This shouldn't even concern you, but it did. So at this point, it's best that you forget about him, or go to a different place that doesn't have him in it.

[waitingforwinter]

It's unprofessional on the therapist's side of things.

It's actually quite common for people to develop feeling for their therapists - they're people who are there to understand how you're feeling and listen to your problems. You can feel really close to them and they can feel close to you. Sometimes you'll think that they know you better than anyone else.

In the end, though, they are a therapist. If you had met them in a different environment and developed feelings, it would be okay for you to date. In this case, it's unprofessional and gives off a bad image of the therapist.

[Asker]

Thank you for your opinion, it is very true and I'll take it into account. Is there anyway to know if the feelings are real?

[skyholes]

talkin' as psychology student, it's hella wrong. we are supposed to be cold-stone and not get emotionally attached at all to our patients, so if he did fall in love, even if he transfered ya, was unethical -qq. but talking as a human, with feelings and a heart that kinda works sometimes, i don't think it is :c it's so hard to fall in love, and he did the right measures. i think it's kinda cool, and kinda unexpected. that's where love grows. but take it slow. make sure you won't jump into something weird or abusive <3

[kaylaS91]

Most people seem to have missed the 'former' part in your title.
It's not wrong as in crossing professional boundaries so long as the treatment you were receiving from the therapist has ceased and been inactive for a certain amount of months. It might work but I mean, you guys still might have a bit of an imbalanced dynamic due to the therapist having previously been paid for assisting you with whichever issues you were receiving help with.

[Asker]

Thank you, this has helped me the most. It has been inactive for just under a month I'd say. We have noticed this and we tried reverse therapy where I let him rant about his issues which have helped a lot. Even though it is going okay I still can't help but worry if it is really that wrong because he is being put on trial for it, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Lancaster4201]

How long has it been since the last session? One day or like a year or two? Time does make a difference. It also makes a difference how severe the reason that you went to a therapist is, whether or not you went willingly, and if you are female (not saying it should, but it does). The less time has passed, the more severe and unwilling you are, and if you are female. It gets really creepy really fast.

[Asker]

It has been about a week. The reason wasn't so serve. I attacked my exes new girlfriend a month ago. So I needed to see a therapist because the police think that I am dangerous but the only reason I did it was because I knew that she was cheating on him. I went willingly though. The thing is my therapist is the one who made the move, so is it creepy on his part then?

[Lancaster4201]

Are you done with the sessions or do you still have more to go?

[Asker]

The thing that I don't get is the fact that he passing me onto another therapist because of this. So yes I do have more to go too but he's transferred me,

[Lancaster4201]

I am not going to say that you can't date, but it is definitely creepy. I would talk to your friends/family they should know you better than some strangers online. Aggression is not as bad as depression or other more vulnerable mental states in my opinion, but I am not a therapist and any reason that requires someone go to a therapist is serious.

My advice would be to say you probably shouldn't date him, and you definitely shouldn't sleep with him for a while to make sure that he is not taking advantage of you. But again ask people that are more familiar with you.

[Asker]

Thank you, this has helped me a lot.

[Lancaster4201]

I hope for the best for you. Sorry if that advice dampens your excitement.

If you don't mind, would you tell me what you decide to do, and how it goes for you?

[Asker]

Thank you, it's okay, I needed someone to set me straight. Yes, I'd be happy to let you know how it ends or give you updates because I have a feeling that it will take a while to sort out.

[Lancaster4201]

If you remember great! If not that is okay too. Your welcome for trying to set you straight, I hope it works out for you!

[Asker]

I will try my best! I hope so too. At this rate I am going to need more therapy because I am "messed up" in their eyes!

[Asker]

Hi, you asked to be kept updated on what has happened. Luckily he gets to keep his job but is suspended for 4 months and I have finished my therapy so I am done with therapy in general luckily. My family and friends suggest that I break up with him but I am still lost with that decision.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

He should not date you if he is a professional. It against the profession of therapist. In most of the cases it is seen that the female start having feeling for her therapist. If he is real therapist he would not and if he date you then he don't deserve to be a therapist.

#Therapist_community

Hope it helps Madam.

[Asker]

He has transferred me so he's no longer my therapist anymore, does it still count though? In this case my therapist caught feelings first since he transferred me. He is known as the best therapist in my area so I believed that it wasn't wrong anymore but he is being put on trial because of it so I am reconsidering the pros and cons of this situation. Which explains why I am asking this.

[bedroomeyes]

It's unethical for the therapist... and makes me question why he'd want to date one of his loopy ass clients (no offense), to begin with, unless something was wrong with him, too.

[Asker]

Why is that? The reason for me being in therapy is based on a misunderstanding. So don't worry. He has some issues with his Mum, that might be connected.

[karahiri]

it's wrong and indicates you need some more therapy. with a different therapist.

[Asker]

I realise that now and regret my recent choices deeply. My former therapist transferred me but for the reason I was there in the first place. Any advice on how to maintain his job because he is on trail soon. Thank you for the advice!

[Anonymous]

It has happened and worked before. Generally it is unprofessional and wrong. But there are always exceptions.

[Asker]

What are these exceptions?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

It's not wrong to date your former therapist but I would keep things on a friends basis for while to see where things go.

[SarahsSummer]

No, "Former" being the key word but both people really need to think about their reasons for desiring that relationship. More times than not they aren't healthy reasons.

[TacosRAwesome]

There are certain guidelines and it is frowned upon. You can't date them straight away after your therapy is done. As far as I know, you need 2 - 5 years to date them as they might lose their licence.

[Asker]

Sadly he was aware of this from the beginning but we still decided to be friends until at least that time was up and see if we still wanted this. But it happened anyway, I regret it already. The chances of him losing his licence is big since he is on trial soon. Thanks for your help.

[Anonymous]

It would give him substantial amount of power over you. I really wouldn't do that.

[BarbieLola]

I don't think it's wrong and this would be a fantasy of mine

[Lunorum]

why should it be wrong? if you love him and he loves you it's perfect

[LittleSally]

The answer to is it wrong is Yes, it's wrong...

[Anonymous]

She should know better.

[Asker]

If the therapist imitates the relationship and transfers her to a different therapist so he isn't her therapist anymore. Does that change the situation?

[Opinion Owner]

It's already gone too far. Might as well finish out.

[Bleepasaurus_RexEwww]

Oh yeah very wrong

[IHaveLists]

Yes it is