How can I get my boyfriend to be ok with my body goal?

Question

Hi everyone!
My boyfriend and I are together since 2013. I started going to the gym as my 2015 new year resolution and I got addicted after I saw how my muscle grew and how hard they become lol I took it more seriously for the past two years and I grew a lot. I talked to my boyfriend and I told him I want to grow bigger and more defined. He wasn't as thrilled as I hoped (he loves muscle on women). I'll post pictures to get a better idea:
I am like her in terms of muscle amount and definition

How can I get my boyfriend to be ok with my body goal?

And I want to be bigger and more muscular like this girl ore more:

How can I convince him, I don't want to lose him neither to stop myself from doing what I like?

trh89 · Accepted Answer

Honestly it's probably due to the fact that your muscles are bigger than his (if this isn't true disregard the rest until the end)
I lift myself and consider myself decently muscular compared to 95% of other guys I see around town. If I had a girlfriend who started lifting while we were together I'd be ecstatic. Maybe I stop working out as much and she keeps it up and over time she gets bigger than me, then I'd probably start to feel insecure about my "manliness" due to my girlfriend having bigger muscles. That's probably what's going on with his feelings towards it. He might feel insecure and emasculated by the situation, especially when you tell him your goal is to get even bigger and leaner than you already are. If he was already feeling that way then you telling him that makes those feelings even worse. That's probably what's going on in his head.

Now, this bit isn't about him but about you. Clearly, lifting for three years consistently has completely transformed your physique. Congratulations, that's a huge accomplishment!!! I don't know what "supplements" you use but 1.5-3 or 4 years of consistent lifting is the generally agreed time period for reaching your "natural limit." With this information, you're very close to (if not at) your natural limitations for muscle growth. You'll only be able to see minimal progress with growth through long bulking and cutting seasons from here on out if you stay natural (or if you even still are, I don't know your story)
What I'm getting at is that the physique of the girl in the second picture is only attainable through the use of performance enhancing drugs. You probably know that women produce much less testosterone than men, thus making their natural limit for muscle growth to be less than what a male could achieve doing the exact same things. The only reason I say this second girl is on performance enhancing drugs is because she has the arm and shoulder development of a lot of natural male bodybuilders. Also, a huge sign of steroid use in females is the vascularity of her veins around her genital area.

I'm not saying that you won't be happy with your natural limit's physique, but you've already made most of your muscular gains in these past three years. In order to be realistic and achieve the physique of picture 2 you will need to be on PEDs. That's your decision in the end.

TL;DR: your boyfriend is insecure because you're bigger than him (probably) and you'll have to get on roids if you want the second girls physique

RationalMale · Accepted Answer

Here's the thing. It's masculine. It's not feminine. Can women get fit and toned and be feminine? Sure! But it's a line. look at Gina Carano--fit, strong, could hold her own in a fight.
schmoesknow.com/.../gina-carano-12.jpg

When you get muscular and ripped like those women you posted, not only does it look like a masculine body, the testosterone effects and such will have other impacts. It will literally make you look closer to a man.
www.t-nation.com/.../Bodybuilder.JPG?ts=1438804931

See... he may like you, but unless he's a schmoe (the word for the fetish men who like manly women) or gay, he's not going to be attracted to you if you actually got ripped.

Maybe you two should just be friends with benefits until he's not attracted to you anymore! It would be a great compromise!

Lily_Pi · Accepted Answer

Everyone has their limits. He might not find that attractive. He may think the level your at right now is fine but anything moree may be a turnoff for him. Somethings can't be helped and you can't force him to like something they don't like. If you gagged Everytime you had a Apple and hated them you probably wouldn't start liking them just because someone tells you to. I think this is less about making him like you that way and more about what is ultimately going to make you happy. If you feel like you really want to do that with your life and you don't want to hold yourself back for him than you have to be willing to loss him as a consequence. You might not loss him but it is a possibility. If you feel that way let him know that's what you want to do, tell him it's important to you and that's what your going to do and that you want to be with him but your not going to put your dreams on a backburner for him. If he really loves you and he can handle it he might stick around, if not c'est la vie. That's a decision you have to make. Ultimately you can't change his mind. Decide what's most important to you and what your not going to weaver on and stand by it. Yeah, it would really hurt to lose someone you love but if this is your dream you can't just push it aside to make someone else happy. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices even if they hurt. It's a hard choice. I hope you find the path you want to travel.

i_am_shyvana · Accepted Answer

Well let me start off by saying I am a bit like you, I love to go to the gym and build defined muscle and get overall stronger (however I really can't go like every day because I don't have a car and the gym is a ways away). I can totally understand your passion. And about your boyfriend-- if the guy breaks up with you because he doesn't support what YOU love to do, then I can't find a better way to put this, but he's a bit of a douchebag. But if he doesn't plan on breaking up with you regardless, then I guess it's a win, because you don't lose him and you still get to do what you love to do. But all in all, it comes down to this: which one? Boyfriend or passion? Again, if he wants to break up with you because, and repeat these words, 'he doesn't want you doing what you love to do' then he is simply a douche. Whether or not you want to be with someone knowing that they don't support you is up to you.
But if you want to make him feel better about the whole situation, I guess long answer short, just explain to him that it's what you love to do and that you hope he supports you.

x_Pretty_x · Accepted Answer

Muscle on women is nice when it's feminine. Too much in my opinion, is kinda grosse. I personally think your already past that feminine line. I can pretty much guarantee your boyfriend will feel like he's dating a man, that's why he isn't so thrilled about it. I think a lot of men will feel the same. I've seen similar posts and facebook posts of women your size or more muscular and there is maybe 1% of men that don't mind it. The rest found it a turn off and disgusting. Please don't take what I said to be mean. Sometimes blunt gets the point across better. Maybe you should really consider your goal and if it's worth your relationship. If it really means that much to you, to keep working out and getting bigger then you may have to rethink your relationship with your boyfriend. Best of luck to you

smokeandberry · Accepted Answer

Damn, firstly good job the amount of work and dedication you've put in has certainly paid off 👏🏼

It's kinda rare for men to find muscular women attractive so it's good that your boyfriend does - maybe he just has levels as what he finds attractive?

Or maybe if he's a gym guy too he's worried your gonna be hitting better targets than him 😉

None of us can really tell you though, just bring up the topic again and break it down into little details to find out if he is actually bothered by it or if he simply doesn't mind either way.

Allie_Oops · Answer

He probably isn't ok with it because he's not gay and doesn't want to date a man. That second picture is a man body with bee sting tits.

HOWEVER, it is your body, and you should do what makes you happy. But you don't get to tell him if he likes it or not.

Apope16 · Answer

I wouldn't find it attractive at all. I dont find the pics attractive. that doesn't matter. You deserve to be with a guy who's into what you're into.

coachTanthony · Answer

He is either into that or he is not... better to find out now then later.

SnapTsch · Answer

I am completely aware that you might not even read this or notice this is the sea of opinions,
But I think this might be a case of 'muscle dysmorphia',

www.mirror-mirror.org/muscle-dysmorphia.htm

And I dont think he is wrong, neither are you.
I'll explain.
He fell for a lady back in 2013, she became addicted to working out in 2015, and as he loves muscle on women he was fine with that, but her addiction turned from wanting to be fit to wanting to be big.
Here is the problem, men are visual creatures, he loves you for a certain personality on a certain body type, but now you are messing up the equation because he is neither seeing the same personality nor the same physique.
Now your personality has an added attribute of addiction and your body is going to transform from a woman's body to man's body. So basically you are not really being the person that he loved anymore.
And when you aren't the person he loved anymore, dragging him through this would be cruel.

Now from your perspective, you are just the same person, with a bigger body, but you are failing to realize your addiction and that your focus is not getting fitter, but bigger. You don't realize how much you have changed and you won't realize how big you are getting because you will never be big enough in your own eyes, and to be honest, the lady in the second picture isn't sexy or sensuous to a majority of men.

But none of this matter since its gonna get lost anyways 😅

Bottom line, with you changing as a person, your compatibility is changing too, because attraction and compatibility aren't the same things and are completely independent from each other.

rtlm368 · Answer

Why do you want to get that big? I was addicted to body building. I'm thin build but was lifting for three years. Went from 150lbs 8% fat gained 40 lbs lean muscle mass. I still looked skinny when I looked in the mirrow. But I was hugh for my frame I was never big enough. Then I blew out a disc benching 290lbs on the incline. You will never reach your body goal. You'll never look big enough in your mind. It happens to the best of us... This is a little off topic , but something to consider. Do you know with that much muscle there is hormone displacement? A woman's body won't get that big without juice. What are you taking? Oral or injectable roids? Your estrogen level goes way down , testosterone spikes , you lose your monthly cycle. It can mess with you emotionally and physically. Women are not physically built for that amount of lean muscle mass. As some men are naturally muscular and cut without the gym. that does not apply to women in natural assignment. If your doing that amount of muscle gain without help from modern chemistry. You must have one hell of a nutritionist and trainer. I like how women look when they have definition and a little lean mass. but that bulky, I don't think it looks feminine. Too much of a good thing can be bad in more ways then one.
Just my 2C's. If your juice'n becareful and I hope your under a physician care. Gluck !

ManMountain · Answer

It is great to have a passion. It gives life meaning and adds happiness. You are only young once so you need to follow your dreams while you are able, unrestrained, healthy and motivated. You owe it to yourself to pursue it. There will always be sacrifices you have to make. If you continue on let life decide for you the outcome... that is called living. Relationships come and go. Dreams crushed are gone forever if left to late.

He may change his mind overtime but with greater commitment may mean less time for him so you will need to manage it. Life without balance is not life it is an obsession. Towards a competition date your obsession will grow so you will need to prepare him so he knows what your needs will be but be aware of his. He may not like the cut look but like the smaller u.. the cut look is temporary so it may be ok. When you return to a more natural body fat percentage he may still be okay with it but the size may be a factor. Only time will tell.

Never be afraid someone will leave you. Know life always goes on, always has something else for you around the corner.

Beware of the pitfalls of entering this world.

Be realistic with your goals. Many do not realise that besides hard work genetics is the sole determinant for success in the world of bodybuilding.

Lastly your boyfriend might start to view your body as being so masculine it would seem like he's literally sleeping with another man and that others will think he has gay tendencies.

Anonymous · Answer

Well i can say with confidence that you cannot look like that year round, the pictures you see are of an athlete or female bodybuilder in her BEST condition she has ever been in. She is at very low bidyfat due to cutting carb and no water due too cutting sodium. You see these pictures are of female bodybuilder which been aiming to get like that there whole life they duet down for a show they only look like that for about max 2 month just enough for contest. Because what they doing to get like that is to intense uno cutting carbs saLt etc and working out extremely hard the body gives in and they start eating carbs because body can only sustain the diet and exercise for short amount of time. That why some take steroids. I hope you don't even consider Cz you will die prematurely. Using chemicals to look like that is common the fitness industry is soon misleading. One guy I know even said a women in his gym had butt implants she was in gym 2 hours the whole time just taking pictures of her fake ass for instagram never even done any working out. What your seeing isn't normal they diet down train for years just to look like that for a contest straight after they binge eat and get back to normal within days Cz to intense for body to sustain for long... boxers for example train really hard close to match then after they chill live life Cz it not normal to run your body to it limits it to intense

Anon-ymous1 · Answer

I'm honestly amazed that you're not happy as-is. You look great. In my opinion you don't need anything else to happen to you. But hey, it's you, you do you.

Here's the thing though: Even though he likes girls to be toned, he clearly doesn't like them to be bulky, and that isn't going to change. Standards of attraction shouldn't have to change so you can be with someone. So either he accepts what you want or he doesn't, but he shouldn't have to change his mind-- and he's not going to. If it's too much, it's too much. You may have to talk to him more about it. Good luck.

JamesS1980 · Answer

You used the word "addicted" - looking at the second model, I can see why he'd worry. The first woman is beautiful, the second? No thanks, that's just too extreme.

I'm typing this having just got home from the gym myself (been going since July), so it's not as if I dislike muscles or exercise, but it's possible to go too far - and the lower pictures represent "too far", in my opinion.

Ultimately, it's your body and your choice - but for me, the first woman looks much better than the second, so don't be surprised if your boyfriend feels the same way.

Burner1992 · Answer

Nothing wrong with being fit and wanting muscle mass and definition, but with it comes ideals from others.

Overall, muscle on men looks more attractive than it does on women, and on top of that there's a threshold for both where people exponentially start viewing your gains as a detractor.

Overall, people (especially men) look for women with a toned or "tight" look without being too muscled. If you're looking to pass what he considers the threshold it will affect his attraction towards you so be ready to make that choice. However, it is very hard to gain that kind of muscle as a woman without "enhancements".

Whatever choice you make, best of luck to you.

everdream · Answer

How do I put this...
There's not a lot of men that like suck muscular figures like the second one. Personally, the cost one is already about to break my limits. You have to understand that most people have an idea of what their ideal partner is supposed to look like, and if you stray too far from that, he might not be attracted to you anymore. Looks always play a role in attraction to some extent, and at this point, I think you have to choose between one or the other. It's definitely possible to convince him, but I suspect it'll be an uphill battle, shoveling sand against the tide, you get the idea. The only thing I can think of is to convert him into a gym rat of the same, ah, passion as you.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

Baby steps! It will take time the build the muscles and to get the boyfriend on board. Show him what you are aiming for, explain it to him many many times, try to find ways how to explain your goals. He does like the muscle already what is stopping him from joining the club?
I do workout a lot too and got kinda big but i reached my goal, my wife don't even know how a gym looks like but she respects my goal as long it doesn't affect our relationship. Good job and keep on gaining i do respect a female body builders a lot. Hope things go alright between you two.

Professor_Zoom · Answer

The thing is how much muscle does he like on women. Because there’s muscle, then there’s bodybuilding muscle. Not saying that you should stop. If you’ve found something that makes you feel great about yourself, well that’s a good thing. At the same time though, physical attraction is very important, and it’s possible that you’re losing something, or going beyond, that thing that made your boyfriend physically attracted to you. What I’m getting at is, you may not be able to convince him to be okay.

C2000 · Answer

To be honest you can't force a man to be okay with something like this. Even if he is technically OK with muscle on females maybe he just doesn't see himself with you as one of those girls. Maybe you have something about you that they don't and he likes.

If you want to sit and talk with him then be nice and calm and not defensive regardless of what he may say and find out why he doesn't support your goal.

In the end what you want and he wants may not be a perfect match and you may need to find a balance between what you want and what he is comfortable with.

carlit0sway · Answer

Well do you want your boyfriend to keep loving you? Or to stay attracted to you? If he really loves you then he will always have those feelings for you as long as you are the same person. Now if you get super jacked it will be a case of you not being the same girl he fell for on a physical level. It is the same as if you were in great shape and then got really chunky. This is likely going to ne a coin flip on his part, but if it was me, I would really struggle to remain attracted to a girl that started looking like the second girl you posted.

Lavinnykins · Answer

I'm afraid to say that trying to make someone like something they don't like, is near impossible. Having such a high percentage of body muscle may just be something your boyfriend isn't a fan of and you'll need to discuss it carefully with him, just explaining why you want to achieve that and the benefits outweighing the negatives. All I can assume is that he remembers how your body was/is and would rather you stayed a constant instead of being more defined and muscular. Understandably, it's something you want to do but don't forget, once you start, you need to keep it up and please don't turn to using various drugs and pills to 'enhance'!

Curiousbynature31 · Answer

Hmmm a lot of guys have a hard time when a woman goes from muscular woman to more of a womany man. I think at this point you may be crossing that line. A guy will find what he finds attractive. If your boyfriend can’t support what you want maybe he isn’t the right guy. But, also realize drastic body change is hard to accept and it does sound right now you might be starting to be obsessive with it. Perhaps it’s not the look for him but he sees something unhealthy starting. If that is the case, stop, look deep because others see a problem before we do.

ADadAtHome · Answer

Welcome to relationships. Sometimes prioritizing what you like can lead to a critical failure in a relationship. You can't change him, you can only decide if furthering your goals is worth potentially doing alone. The answer may be yes, or it may be no. But you can't fault him. This is exactly what people mean when they say, 'we grew apart'. You got new goals that didn't match his and it might take you in separate directions if you aren't at the point where you each are ready to prioritize each other other yourselves.

dragonfly6516 · Answer

If he's not attracted to the type of woman you want to be, then you're no longer compatible as a couple.

Welcome to a common, healthy, and normal part of dating. People grow and change, this is an expected cause of breakups in younger people.

No one did anything wrong, no one is a "bad" person, you're just growing apart. Decide now which is more important to you: yourself or him. If you choose yourself, don't feel guilty even for a second, because there is someone else out there who will want you.

Moray · Answer

You wrote he wasn't thrilled but is he clearly against your body goal? Does he support you or feel that you shouldn't do it?
Maybe he feels insecure and inferior to you when he hears about your body goal, he might feel less masculine when you'll be that built. Or then he is just concerned about your health.

In any case, it comes down to whether he really likes you regardless of what you do or look like.

girlygirlyyes · Answer

Well when I look at your pic there's still some feminity left in you... maybe that's enough for your boyfriend to feel aroused... The lower pic of your goal is totally manly ( according to me) , that's a turnoff for many guys...
Talk to your boyfriend and ask him the reason... It maybe this or maybe u r giving too much of your time in this workout n gym thing and he feels you are getting obsessed over it...
Could be anything..
Now the point is that you have to prioritise your choices... n go for the ones more important...
Good luck to you ✌

silvermoon84 · Answer

That look isn't really what's considered attractive in a conventional sense, but if that's what you want then you really need to do what makes you happy. As for your boyfriend, I don't really want to say he's displaying caveman mentality, but he's intimidated (which a lot of guys would be). I get the same attitude from men because I was in the military for five years and I want to be a cop, even though I act very feminine. My chosen career path negates that in their eyes.

I'm not saying I blame the men for feeling that way. They're entitled to like what they like. If a man doesn't want to date you because of your body, he's not the guy for you. 😊

Jurgen3110 · Answer

It is your body and you should do with it as you like but as you are still young you might also want to know the side effects of getting this much muscle. For instance, the more musclemass you get the higher you testosterone levels will get this could have negative side effects if you try to get pregnant. Now thats one of many positive and negative effects of enlarged musclemass but know that what ever you do, you do it for you. So take every thing you want in live in consideration, since stretching the skin is no problem but if your body/musclesmass decreases for some reason the skin does not slink aswell. Just something to might take in consideration aswell. As long as you are happy with the decision you have made, your boyfriend should also be. After all: happy wife, happy life😉. Maybe even encourge him to join in, if your decision is to grow more musclemass.

RohitLakra · Answer

I really like your passion and I can totally understand why your boyfriend doesn't find it okay. Personally, I find it very scary and if in future I have a girlfriend like these girls in photos, I won't be able to sleep and live in constant fear when some punch is going to come at me and if my bones are going to be broken. I know things are not like this.
The only way you can make him feel comfortable is that you try to make himself a body builder himself so he can at least defend himself haha just kidding. I am really sorry I cannot help much but do not kidnap me and torture🙏

Deformate · Answer

I... um... well.. yeah, I dont know what to say. If you wanna look like a man then keep it up and you will get there. Im sure its just your boyfriend wanting to date someone who has some semblence of feminity and not someone who looks like a guy from the gym. Not really sure how to put that in a way that sounds unoffensive. Ibdont mean it in a mean way, nor am I being cruel, but the mote muscle you gain the less you will look like a woman. I would probably be having thebsame problem he is having to be fair. Im happy to talk in private if you need me to elaborate or talk more in depth or spitball ideas.

WalterBlack · Answer

First of all, you need to ask yourself if this is a good idea. You mentioned the word “addicted” in reference to exercise. Exercise addiction is a real thing. If you are going to pursue this goal, make sure you do so for the right reasons and consider the possible long-term health consequences. The blonde woman in the picture looks like she may have used steroids to get that physique.

Achieving the body type you want and keeping the boyfriend you have may be incompatible goals. If you want him to stick around, I’d suggest encouraging him to do some (more?) weight lifting. Sedentary people usually date sedentary people. Fitness fanatics usually date fitness fanatics. The more extreme the difference in physical activity, the less likely you are to be compatible with each other.

I’m not going to tell you what to do with your own body. But it looks to me like you’ve already achieved perfection. And I’ve heard that you can’t improve on perfection.

xearo · Answer

I feel like doing something for your benefit is totally fine. For example it can be gym, gardening, biking, driving, gaming, cooking, etc. In a relationship its important to keep the other person in mind that whatever thing it is you will be doing isn't going to suffocate the relationship. Some hobbies can completely take over because they become an addiction. I feel like overly pursuing the gym will indeed change a lot of things. But if it's something you can maybe convince him is worth doing at least for a while. and if he still isn't open to the idea, then you can have another discussion with him at that point.

HIGHFLIII · Answer

In the long run do what makes you happy because who says your going to be with him in the future. If he cannot accept it then there is someone out there who will. Convincing or forcing him to get on the same wagon could be potentially dangerous if he is not comfortable with it. He could reject the idea immediately if he is not somehow coaxed into it. Maybe if you worked out WITH him? Make him feel like the dominant one. Friends are powerful and they could tease him by saying stuff like you wear the pants and skirt and where does that leave him? Bottom line: do not force it but if you want it to work just guide him or go HIS speed.

Mekara · Answer

First of, it's YOUR body and you have the right to choose what you want to do with it.

But look at it from his POV, maybe he wants his girl to look like a girl. If you go that route... you'll basically be a freakin she-hulk. What in my opinion looks... weird (again, my opinion). Maybe he wants a "soft, feminine woman." Not someone with bigger muscles than him.

I say compromise with him. Still go to the gym and get your workout on... but don't turn into a woman who can squish his head with your thighs...

Anonymous · Answer

I can't tell you how to keep him cause... I don't find that kind of muscular even remotely attractive. :/ I don't find that level of muscular attractive on guys and I find it worse on women. It just kind of looks gross and unnatural. I can't help your guy be okay with it cause I wouldn't find myself okay with it. So... yeah sorry friend :/

beansiie · Answer

firstly, you look great! and proud of yourself, which is even better.

important to realise that regardless of whether or not he personally agrees - which is another argument, i think he should as long as you aren't harming yourself - that he should support you with your life choices. he doesn't own a single organ or muscle on your body, and if he has a problem with the way it looks, then that is his problem alone.

if he feels emasculated, then your body's done your job and he isn't worth your time.

OurSecrets · Answer

Why do the questions with the most obvious answers get the most answerers? Personally, I think you got so ripped and cut that you ripped and cut part of your brain! But let's suck the subjectivity out of my answer hereforth.

by the way, Don't get me wrong do what you want, yo! But you have to make decisions at they suit you ~ And since changing a persons harbors resentment and the like , sometime for decades that can destroy your relationship, that should be considered a non option... it's an A or B (or neither) question... no-hybrid answers, no ifs, ands or butts, and you must decide... PERIOD! Best wishes!

souEu · Answer

Hi everybody.

Miss, listen, it is well known that men are visual, a lot much more than women. Something so simple simple can drive us crazy, losing all reason, just by what we see.

For women that is something really hard to understand (not optional, just like how we will never understand giving birth, or menstruation.)

That said, Love is a must. If he Loves you, he will accept you no matter what, not because he has to, but because he chooses to.

That doesn't mean he has to like what you like. If you love him, you'll understand that in a relation, you live for the other (opposite to what many will say.) And this is the compromise of Love.
Don't give up you dreams, but you will have to make choices.

In fact, you already know what to do, but you are here wanted to justify why not to do it.

The truth is that he might not like what he sees, even if he loves you with all his heart. That's how our brains work.

P. S. Learn to be satisfied.

LuckyDutchman · Answer

I don't know, I think the first girl is very attractive but sometimes when you build as much muscle as the second you lose the shapes that a guy expects to find in a women. We like curvy hips and legs and whatever and it's just very different. I would talk to him but I think that the first girl is great it's healthy it's amazing but there's a point where with the second girl it gets too much and if it's really an addiction too much bodybuilding can be unhealthy too.. just be careful of how much muscle you're building, the way you are I'd say you're perfectly fine, but don't overwork your body

Vedad194 · Answer

Life is a set of compromises...

Personally, I'd tell you to not go any further and use your gained potential in Kickboxing, Karate, or just Mixed Martial Arts.

Trust me, when a good coach sees you and tests you, he won't think twice, plus you'll get your daily dose of venting and stamina, and get to stay at that level.
That level of body fitness is perfect for it girl! If you become as dedicated to MMA as you are to the gym, just imagine in 4-5 years time how you will look online after many fights and trophies!

TheGoodGuy1337 · Answer

I mean, muscles on all people are hot, but girl, thats body buliding muscle. That is, in my opinion, the biggest turn off. Just saying. I like a girl that has the abs shape, fit, gym ass, and trust me, when your boyfriend says he likes muscles on a girl, he prolly means the muscles on the hips. Just stop trying to get buffier than ur boyfriend... it seriously makes a guy feel bad, dominated and insecure on the fact that his girl has more muscles than him and can bench more lol... i think you shouldn't lose ur boyfriend so just go back to doing normal girl exercise, wich are mostly squats. sorry if you find this harsh, but its the truth

RandomOmaha · Answer

Well, if you love each other, I feel a good conversation should be had about both of your goals. Does he go to the gym, and if so as much as you?
I have a friend that is a competitive body builder, and she's in, to my knowledge, a happy relationship. Tell him how important it is to you. And ask him why he doesn't want you to do this. As one of the other responses said, he might feel emasculated. He might also start to feel inadequate in the relationship. Is it a time thing? (Do you spend more time at the gym than with him?) It could be an attraction thing, but these are things that the two of you would have to discuss and figure out. I say go for it, and good for you having strong goals, but you'll need to have an open and nonjudgmental conversation with your boyfriend to try to find a better perspective of how he feels and maybe even common ground. Good luck with the two of you and your own goals!

writeinconcrete · Answer

It depends on which you care about more. As much as it sounds awful, physical attraction has a lot to do with how well relationships work. It's just a fact. So it makes sense that a drastic change like that would have an effect on your relationship. Basically you'll have to decide which matters more to you, your boyfriends support or getting mad swole. There's no right answer, but remember, exercise / body sculpting can become an addiction. In the immortal words of Jackie Q 'You can turn anything into heroin', just watch out for that.

ZanyInternetName · Answer

I, personally, am, frankly, repulsed by such bodies. I'll be upfront about it. I absolutely don't think such bodies are attractive at all. If my partner were to go for such a body I would consider braking up. If anyone is going to say that I am shallow for that - it's quite difficult to appreciate some inner beauty if I can't stand looking at the person.

pickyourcliche · Answer

It's not to everyone's taste, and if you love the guy it'll suck if he's not as into you, but ultimately it's your happiness and comfort over his, and you're the one who spends the most time with you. I'd suggest a compromise along the lines of you gaining x amount of mass or something so you can still be well defined and muscly but he can live with it, but I dunno if you should have to. That said relationships are all about compromise. In the end you can't force him to be ok with it, and he has no right to force you to not pursue your goals.
Do you want to be that muscly for any reason, any intention of competing or whatnot, or do you just like how it feels to be muscular and strong? Do you need to get so developed to feel that way?

renns · Answer

It's not about you being strong or muscular, it's about you loving him enough to not be selfish worrying him, if i was gay i wouldn't mind that to a guy and the fucking same with women, but there's a line and you know it.
You don't want to be obsessed do you? comprehend that this isn't only about you, nobody likes someone who doesn't even mind their health to be muscular, you have your goals, just let him know that your going to take care and you're not going to go overboard.
Anybody can be muscular, and it's alright, but you have to show your judgement to not hurt him.

AudaciousAnt · Answer

First of all if you really look like her, and aim to look like her second one, CONGRATULATIONS. I will NOT be the one to discourage you, you kick ass.

That said, most guys don't like the overly shredded look, even if they subconsciously like some muscle. If he can't accept that, you can't change that.

Maybe a middle ground would be to stick to your goals in terms of muscle, but accept a higher body fat percentage? Maybe a girl that is 'too fit' is more palatable to him than 'too shredded'. Also since you can cut fat much faster than you can gain muscle, you would still be able to do an occasional cut to reveal what you have worked for.

uchihaone · Answer

The thing is.. With a body like the one you are working to get.. It will make him feel like he is sleeping with another man and i mean no offense.. And if you get muscles bigger than his then im gonna be honest with you, there isn't much that you can do to convince him.. unless if he decides to finally accept you the way you wanna be and bare it... I hope things turn for the best between you 2.. Best of luck 👍

Anonymous · Answer

Just explain to him that this truly is your passion that you wish to follow. Explain to him that this is what makes you happy. If he relents and is understanding then all is well, but if not then while of course you should keep trying, you should also think about which is more important to you, because if worse comes to worse you might need to decide between your man and your muscle. I can’t tell you which to choose, but I can suggest that you think about it beforehand in case he refuses to understand.

Btw: I wish my girlfriend and I were both as motivated as you are to get in shape. I need to lose weight and she needs to eat more, and neither of us can stay focused long enough to do either. Your progress is impressive, to say the least.

Kreneman · Answer

I believe you have already achieved your goal back in 2015 and now you want more which he have a reason to be concerned because according to the first picture, that woman size on picture is awesome (which is still a feminine shape figure), the second picture is great to but at the same time, you dont really see the feminine features meaning I believe what your boyfriend want is the feminine bodily type shape like in the first picture because Men wants their women to still look feminine. More muscular shape can (no offense) be close to male bodily shape figures. I would tell your boyfriend (If you really love and dont want to lose him) can you try it just once in then go back to the original size like in the first picture.

sakshamsadana · Answer

Well... I'm also a gym freak... And no one can understand our goals and dedication unless the other one is also a gym lover.. even my girlfriend was always against my gym...
But i explained her that is she likes to do something, i won't stop her, i will motivate her to pursue her goals...
Same way i asked her not to stop me from doing anything... She can stop me if I'm doing something wrong.. but i don't think putting on muscles is wrong for any gender (unless u r on steroids)😜

So she stopped nagging me again n again about gym... Secondly i convinced her to join gym... So when she started seeing results in herself, she also became addicted to the and became a gym freak...

So i think u should have a talk with him about ur dreams, ur feelings, ur passion and that u expect him to support u, not stop u

EthanThiccBoi · Answer

So here's the thing...
A lot of people will tell you that your body goal is "a turn off" or that it would make you look "too manly" and that it will be a problem for you relationship.

If it becomes a problem for your relationship, you'd know. If it's a turnoff for your boyfriend, I'd hope he'd say something. If he doesn't, then that's his fault, and even if he does, that shouldn't stop you from being who you want to be.

If you want muscle, get muscle. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't or shouldn't. The only person who can make that decision is you.

MScifiwriter · Answer

I like a toned fit woman, but just as too much muscle on a guy looks extreme, to much muscle on a girl is also extreme. There is the old adage everything in moderation. I would ask if you are looking to be extremely muscular, is there a particular reason why? Is it simply for the high of being that muscular and fit? Is it a confidence reason?

If you simply want to be extremely muscular for the muscles themselves, than be careful, because you may find you are never satisfied and become obsessed with it. As I said, everything in moderation. All I'm saying is be careful with your health.

I know the question was more regarding how to get your boyfriend to be alright with your body goal. But if you already look similar to the pictures you posted, then I would say, you need to be cautious of your health first off. Perhaps that is partly why he is hesitant about you becoming any more muscular, he might be subconsciously concerned about your health.

turquoisemuppet · Answer

My wife and I talked about this also. I am not bothered by it. Love my girl to be fit. Best way is to get him on this journey with you. It is a problem for guys though. Most men feel immasculated as you can see with all the comments here, but don't let that stop you. Your boyfriend needs to understand that this is important to you and you want to carry it on. You don't want to come to the end of your life and think "if only I could have done more". You won't always have this body so don't stop now.

ManwithaConran · Answer

There's nothing intrinsicly wrong wrong with bodybuilding so long as you add body mass and maintain a bit of balance. You have to think about stuff like fat/muscle ratio; BMI, nutrition and stress on your bones and joints. Look at WWE wrestlers. Charlotte Flair, Chyna, Debra at al. Either they're skinny but toned rather than ripped, or a bit fuller and have muscles to rival the men. At the end of the day go what you feel is best for you but don't put strain on yourself to get there. If you're worried about your boyfriends opinion, try changing bit by bit.

k269c · Answer

A lot of the comments here annoy me. Obviously he doesn't find that attractive, in my opinion, you should pursue with what you want to do. If that's not his thing, there's nothing either of you can do to change that. Everyone has their types and you can find someone who also likes how you want to look and if you don't want to find someone else, you just have to find a compromise you and your boyfriend can both agree with

Anonymous · Answer

I would suggest talking to him, since that's the only way, you can't really do anything about it nor force him to be okay with or like your body goals.
In my opinion, there's women out there with muscles so huge that they're bigger than an average man's, and I wouldn't want to be like that. If i were a boy, id prefer someone who's soft and graceful, no offense though, tbh I'm really impressed with your body.
I feel like if your boyfriend is not okay with your body, it's either he feels like he's not "manly" enough comparing to you since you have the muscles, or he just plainly doesn't like muscles on females. There's also many other possible reasons like maybe you're not spending enough time with him, etc.
Find out why he's not happy and talk to him.

o0cyfr0o · Answer

Personally I like women who can be muscular and still be able to maintain their female assets like those above.

There are some others where they don't look attractive at all.

Depends on who your audience is and how comfortable you are in the body you have.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Hmmm... I believe women that achieve a certain amount of muscle the natty way don't end up looking like they have man hands and that man chin.

I don't know how you look... but I suggest to use hard work and let nature take you to where genetics feels is your ideal... don't pump D-bol or something which is something we used to beef up beef for more meat at first. Chemical interference wreaks havoc over the long term.

nicknacknoo · Answer

Well done on the amount of work and effort needed to get yourself looking like that. It's a personal choice if your man doesn't like the way you look. Maybe he's jelouse as you have more muscles than him.. but personally I don't find it attractive.. sorry.

ccortina · Answer

You have to talk with him and understand why he doesn't like it or what he expects. If you can't get to a middle point or something that makes both happy, then consider what's more important.
People will tell you to follow your dream and how important that is, and they are right but you might love him as much, and you will have to decide , just be sure to follow that decision and never look back.

Prakbio · Answer

he didn't said he don't like it right!! you have to think that you cannot make other to like or dislike your like same way he is not imposing his personal interests on you.. this will create conflicts between you... yes it is your body do whatever you want to do it. if he dosnt like it it would be your decision to choose between your boyfriend or body same way he had to make decision he likes you more or dislike more your like..
me also like little muscles but not like the picture you posted excessive exercise gives a women a male look look at those faces all cuteness gone.. may be others like it but for me i cannot be in love with a girl who looks like a male...

Arabian911 · Answer

Never liked a girl with big muscles, no matter how much you would say to me i wouldn’t like it, but i admire your goals but you need to realize it’s a matter of sexual attraction you can’t talk someone to change it.

You should really think a lot more about this whole situation

alphamale07 · Answer

My honest advice is that... when girls get to much muscular then they aren’t girls any more they are trying to become more like guys..! And god has naturally given them body fat... if it is less than a specific amount the reproductive system doesn’t work well for female than... so no need to get too much carried away... is just about letting go of give some to gym and your boyfriend both..! Let the thinking about the idea of getting muscular to your boyfriend you guys will be happy 😊

Bobby95 · Answer

Follow your dream but be ware that muscles are attractive on a woman too much muscle on a woman can be in attractive as well its like sleeping with a ripped dude I would believe and it can seriously put someone off your boyfriend may leave you because he's no longer attracted some soft spots on a woman are loved not everything so rock hard in my opinion but more power to you for sticking to your new years resolution for so long now you should take it easy because anything out of moderation is bad even exercise

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